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Raaawwr!


Tzarza
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I'm so angry! 

(long time atheist) Brother just  told me that my gPa and he had a conversation about me over Easter, and my change to Atheism. I think it probably included more about whether there is a god or not than about me, but I was partly the subject. I was always the good Christian girl growing up, and deconverted about one year ago. Grandpa isn't religious, but has convictions about God. Bro said gPa called me a 'Flip-flopper' and that was what concerned him. AS IF DECONVERSION IS A SIMPLE WAFFLE TURN. No one asked me what it was like, but apparently I'm a waffle chef. 

 

No one on that side of the family has said anything about my change to me, but now I have no idea how much chit-chat has been going on behind my back. Was this a one-time conversation? Or have I, unwittingly, been the talk of family town? TIME FOR ME TO TAKE UP A PITCHFORK, AND RAISE HELL. I expect ignorant behind the back comments from strangers and old acquaintances, but I expect family to be upfront about it. RAWR! 

 

Gory details to follow. Pitchfork stabbings to be dealt with love.  

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I'm so angry! 

 

(long time atheist) Brother just  told me that my gPa and he had a conversation about me over Easter, and my change to Atheism. I think it probably included more about whether there is a god or not than about me, but I was partly the subject. I was always the good Christian girl growing up, and deconverted about one year ago. Grandpa isn't religious, but has convictions about God. Bro said gPa called me a 'Flip-flopper' and that was what concerned him. AS IF DECONVERSION IS A SIMPLE WAFFLE TURN. No one asked me what it was like, but apparently I'm a waffle chef. 

 

No one on that side of the family has said anything about my change to me, but now I have no idea how much chit-chat has been going on behind my back. Was this a one-time conversation? Or have I, unwittingly, been the talk of family town? TIME FOR ME TO TAKE UP A PITCHFORK, AND RAISE HELL. I expect ignorant behind the back comments from strangers and old acquaintances, but I expect family to be upfront about it. RAWR! 

 

Gory details to follow. Pitchfork stabbings to be dealt with love.  

 

So you have changed your mind about something. Instead of calling that flip-flopping, why not call it growth, learning, exploration?

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It's funny how people who don't seem religious and probably haven't been to a church in a long time tend to suddenly develop an opinion about our deconversions. I have seen that over and over again.

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I'm cool now, I'm cool. 

 

I hope I'm not just incredibly naiive in believing that:

1. Older, set-in-their-ways people are still capable of thinking new thoughts, and

2. My family is capable of preferring an honest discussion to rampant gossip. 

We'll see how this plays out. I can play nice, I promise. 

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It sucks when your family think it's their job to analyze you when you aren't listening. Happy stabbing. :)

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How dare you learn and change your mind about something. You have to start with all the answers and hold that stance until you die no matter how much the evidence suggests otherwise.

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Even though I sent an email to my grandfather, stating kindly that I would prefer he ask me about my changes rather than make assumptions, I got one back instead from father, titled suggestively "How are you?" asking about my 'non-Christian choice'. 

 

Coincidence? I THINK NOT. 

 

How far back do the cahoots go? When did the irreligious suddenly become religious? 

 

Time for some reputation repair. Guh. 

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They do have a tendency to gang up on you.

 

My family won't speak to me about it anymore because I beat them over the head with how stupid they sound. They got angry, cried, pulled hair, lamented, wailed, and got over it.

 

Well, not really. There are a lot of impressionable young children in my family, and I think they're afraid I might influence them if they bring up my lack of belief around them.

 

I have the ability to remain calm and logical when they blow their tops, lose it, or get upset, it drives them up the wall.

 

Mostly these days when a family member tries to bring up 'God' I say this...

 

Atheism isn't a hobby for me. It's not a lifestyle, it's not even really a belief. It's just me not caring about the crazy things you think exist. I don't want to talk about God with you for the exact same reasons I don't want to sit here and discuss Santa Clause. You've got as much chance of convincing me that Santa Clause is real as you do of making me think Jesus is the son of God.

 

I don't think there is a God, and no, I do not ever sit around thinking about it. I don't 'contemplate' Atheism, that's the nice thing about it. It requires no effort to not believe in anything, and I don't have to go over the philosophical ramifications of why I don't think there is such a thing as an invisible sky man who wants my attention and demands I think he's just swell, or justify my complete lack of attention or thought about such a thing with a mystical book. I am not angry at him, you, or even your church. I ignore it completely, and I'm perfectly fine with that, and if there is such a thing as God, I see no reason to think he's not fine with me thinking that either.

 

In fact, the only reason I've had even the slightest thought about anyone's religious beliefs at all, is because they keep trying to talk to me about them. When that happens, my only thought is that they should notice that I don't care and change the subject. As soon as this conversation is over, and that's happening right now, I will continue to not believe, not think about whether or not there's an invisible man, god, or whatever living in the sky at all ever, and not caring.

 

They really hate it when I say that and get really angry.

 

Fortunately, so far it's always been the 'quiet angry'. I get the silent treatment for a while and it's simply magical. Then they get over it and no one brings it up again for a while.

 

And yes, Psy is awesome. I like 'Right Now' and 'The Korea Cheer Song' and more recently 'Gentleman' all a heck of a lot more than 'Gungam Style'. I also laughed my ass off at his appearance in Hyuna's 'Ice Cream' vid.

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Even though I sent an email to my grandfather, stating kindly that I would prefer he ask me about my changes rather than make assumptions, I got one back instead from father, titled suggestively "How are you?" asking about my 'non-Christian choice'. 

 

Coincidence? I THINK NOT. 

 

How far back do the cahoots go? When did the irreligious suddenly become religious? 

 

Time for some reputation repair. Guh. 

 

That sounds something like what happened to me around Christmas, but I sent the email to my grandparents and I got the thorny response from my uncle, who then brought my parents into it. Apparently my mum got sent a really venomous letter by her father after he assumed she was behind it. That "how dare you" language sounds very similar to what I copped too (this jackass actually implied I'm a worse person than he ever was despite his extensive criminal history).

 

They're the kind of people that will talk up how edifying a Christian life is and the values of integrity, love, kindness and honest discussion (deadset. Although their version of "honest discussion" means something different to them than it does to me) with one breath, while gossiping behind dissenters' backs and using bully tactics to show their disapproval with the other.

 

If your family structure is anything like mine, they will pretend to both themselves and the world that everything is fine and their actions are justified. They won't admit the deviousness of what they do, they won't accept new ideas (in my opinion, fear is a big motivator for their closed-mindedness) and they won't tolerate people who have said new ideas.

 

They can talk up how wonderful they are and their family is and how God is the core of their perfect morality (but they're also worthless sinners and there's no contradiction there), but I can tell you with all the sincerity in the world that the relatives on my mum's side are the most manipulative, disgusting, deceitful, hypocritical, two-faced and bigoted people I know. The only reason I feel I have to be nice to them these days is that a friend of mine just got a $13,000 inheritance and I don't want to take any chances. Seriously.

 

What you do from here is up to you. I don't know how easily your family can just agree to disagree on stuff, I don't know how likely they are to just put something in the past, I don't know your living circumstances and I don't know how close you are to them (I'm basically a hermit now, which helps). You could try and explain how much they hurt you or that you're still the same person, but I wouldn't expect too much from them. Well in for standing up for yourself, and I do hope things get better for you. If you want to talk more extensively about opinionated family members, feel free to shoot me a PM.

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Mostly these days when a family member tries to bring up 'God' I say this...

 

Atheism isn't a hobby for me. It's not a lifestyle, it's not even really a belief. It's just me not caring about the crazy things you think exist. I don't want to talk about God with you for the exact same reasons I don't want to sit here and discuss Santa Clause. You've got as much chance of convincing me that Santa Clause is real as you do of making me think Jesus is the son of God.

 

I don't think there is a God, and no, I do not ever sit around thinking about it. I don't 'contemplate' Atheism, that's the nice thing about it. It requires no effort to not believe in anything, and I don't have to go over the philosophical ramifications of why I don't think there is such a thing as an invisible sky man who wants my attention and demands I think he's just swell, or justify my complete lack of attention or thought about such a thing with a mystical book. I am not angry at him, you, or even your church. I ignore it completely, and I'm perfectly fine with that, and if there is such a thing as God, I see no reason to think he's not fine with me thinking that either.

 

In fact, the only reason I've had even the slightest thought about anyone's religious beliefs at all, is because they keep trying to talk to me about them. When that happens, my only thought is that they should notice that I don't care and change the subject. As soon as this conversation is over, and that's happening right now, I will continue to not believe, not think about whether or not there's an invisible man, god, or whatever living in the sky at all ever, and not caring.

 

.....

 

And yes, Psy is awesome. I like 'Right Now' and 'The Korea Cheer Song' and more recently 'Gentleman' all a heck of a lot more than 'Gungam Style'. I also laughed my ass off at his appearance in Hyuna's 'Ice Cream' vid.

Thanks, I may have to quote you! That's mostly how I feel about it. It's frustrating that they are spending so much energy worrying about what I don't care about. 

 

I actually don't listen to Psy much, but some of his songs (like most kpop) are so infectiously catchy!! I just want to dance to "Passionate Goodbye" every time I hear it, haha. My students ask me to play Gentleman every time we finish class early XD

 

In other Korean things, have you seen "The Adventures of Kim Jong Un"? it's sooooo funny!! 

 

 

 

 

Thanks for sharing, Inqui! I don't think they'll gang up on me quite like that, but I've got to be wary of the rich, white, upper-class, christian aunt and uncle. They're really great people, but they also have really strong convictions about Christianity (strongest in the family). I think as long as they don't grab ahold of this opportunity to share their convictions about atheism/christianity, the family won't come together over this. I know they have concern about bro and I. He's been the atheistic black sheep for years, and now I've joined him in black-sheepdom. Feels good to be on bro's team. 

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In other Korean things, have you seen "The Adventures of Kim Jong Un"? it's sooooo funny!! 

 

 

 

Thank you for this. I'm still recovering.

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