Discern Posted May 4, 2013 Share Posted May 4, 2013 Another Facebook share from my fundamentalist pals... Me: God, can I ask You a question? God: Sure Me: Promise You won't get mad God: I promise Me: Why did You let so much stuff happen to me today? God: What do u mean? Me: Well, I woke up late God: Yes Me: My car took forever to start God: Okay Me: at lunch they made my sandwich wrong & I had to wait God: Huummm Me: On the way home, my phone went DEAD, just as I picked up a call God: All right Me: And on top of it all off, when I got home ~I just want to soak my feet in my new foot massager & relax. BUT it wouldn't work!!! Nothing went right today! Why did You do that? God: Let me see, the death angel was at your bed this morning & I had to send one of My Angels to battle him for your life. I let you sleep through that Me (humbled): OH GOD: I didn't let your car start because there was a drunk driver on your route that would have hit you if you were on the road. Me: (ashamed) God: The first person who made your sandwich today was sick & I didn't want you to catch what they have, I knew you couldn't afford to miss work. Me (embarrassed):Okay God: Your phone went dead bcuz the person that was calling was going to give false witness about what you said on that call, I didn't even let you talk to them so you would be covered. Me (softly): I see God God: Oh and that foot massager, it had a shortage that was going to throw out all of the power in your house tonight. I didn't think you wanted to be in the dark. Me: I'm Sorry God God: Don't be sorry, just learn to Trust Me.... in All things , the Good & the bad. Me: I will trust You. God: And don't doubt that My plan for your day is Always Better than your plan. Me: I won't God. And let me just tell you God, Thank You for Everything today. God: You're welcome child. It was just another day being your God and I Love looking after My Children... -------- Actually, I have something to add to the conversation before I forward it along! Me: God, why did you let my baby die? God: I'm sorry my child, but her death would bring many souls to salvation. Me: You're not powerful enough to save both them and my baby? God: ... Me: You're not omniscient enough to think up a way to save people that doesn't involve the death of a baby or loved one? God: ...err....it was a trial...yeah that's it, I put you through a trial to make you..umm...a better christian and to build your faith or something. God: Hello? Are you there? 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SilentLoner Posted May 5, 2013 Share Posted May 5, 2013 God is such a troll. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
leopardus Posted May 5, 2013 Share Posted May 5, 2013 Arrrgggg! The stupidity! It buuurrrrnnnsss!!!!!! the death angel was at your bed this morning & I had to send one of My Angels to battle him for your life. I let you sleep through that Me (puzzled): Oh. You mean you couldn't just kick his ass out yourself in an instant??? GOD: I didn't let your car start because there was a drunk driver on your route that would have hit you if you were on the road. Me: (apalled) You mean you let him drive?? Why didn't you make HIS car not start???!!!! God: The first person who made your sandwich today was sick & I didn't want you to catch what they have, I knew you couldn't afford to miss work. Me (eyes rolling): Why didn't you keep the sandwich maker from being sick like you did me?? God: Your phone went dead bcuz the person that was calling was going to give false witness about what you said on that call, I didn't even let you talk to them so you would be covered. Me (disgusted): And why didn't you make the caller's phone go dead?? God: Oh and that foot massager, it had a shortage that was going to throw out all of the power in your house tonight. I didn't think you wanted to be in the dark. Me (rolling eyes again): You can't even fix a foot massager? What kind of deity are you? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
raoul Posted May 5, 2013 Share Posted May 5, 2013 It's useless garbage like those facebook comments that validate every day of my life since fleeing from that cult! Thanks! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mwc Posted May 5, 2013 Share Posted May 5, 2013 Me: God, can I ask You a question? God: Me: Promise You won't get mad God: Me: Why did You let so much stuff happen to me today? God: Me: Well, I woke up late God: Me: My car took forever to start God: Me: at lunch they made my sandwich wrong & I had to wait God: Me: On the way home, my phone went DEAD, just as I picked up a call God: Me: And on top of it all off, when I got home ~I just want to soak my feet in my new foot massager & relax. BUT it wouldn't work!!! Nothing went right today! Why did You do that? God: Me: Hello??? God: Me: Anybody? God: Me: <sigh> Me: Thanks. I'm sure it all happened for a reason. Fixed. mwc 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest r3alchild Posted May 5, 2013 Share Posted May 5, 2013 Thats what all those final destination kids needed, GOD! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hereticzero Posted May 5, 2013 Share Posted May 5, 2013 Facebook share reminds me I have an uncontrollable urge to slow down at traffic wrecks to look for 'Jesus is my co-pilot' or 'Jesus On Board' bumper stickers or those fish emblems. What Christians whine about are mostly unimportant things, such as the whine in the Facebook share. Thank heavens god has a lack-luster plan for all of us instead of plenty of food and basic human needs. . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FloridaGirl Posted May 6, 2013 Share Posted May 6, 2013 The narcissism of Christianity is just so awful. Where was God when the 40,000 people in third word countries died today of preventable diseases? He was protecting a middle class American who did not want the sniffles before a big presentation. *smacks forehead 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3DollarBill Posted May 6, 2013 Share Posted May 6, 2013 God:...meanwhile 5500 children starved to death in africa today 'cause i was so busy dealing with YOUR shit you ungrateful bitch. Oh, wait...I'm supposed to be omnipotent and omnipresent, aren't I? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts