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Facebook: Why Did So Many Bad Things Happen To Me Today?


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Another Facebook share from my fundamentalist pals...

 

jesussitting.jpg

 

Me: God, can I ask You a question?

God: Sure
Me: Promise You won't get mad
God: I promise
Me: Why did You let so much stuff happen to me today?
God: What do u mean?
Me: Well, I woke up late
God: Yes
Me: My car took forever to start
God: Okay
Me: at lunch they made my sandwich wrong & I had to wait
God: Huummm
Me: On the way home, my phone went DEAD, just as I picked up a call
God: All right
 
Me: And on top of it all off, when I got home ~I just want to soak my feet in my new foot massager & relax. BUT it wouldn't work!!! Nothing went right today! Why did You do that?
God: Let me see, the death angel was at your bed this morning & I had to send one
of My Angels to battle him for your life. I let you sleep through that
 
Me (humbled): OH
 
GOD: I didn't let your car start because there was a drunk driver on your route that would have hit you if you were on the road.
 
Me: (ashamed)
 
God: The first person who made your sandwich today was sick & I didn't want you to catch what they have, I knew you couldn't afford to miss work.
 
Me (embarrassed):Okay
 
God: Your phone went dead bcuz the person that was calling was going to give false witness about what you said on that call, I didn't even let you talk to them so you would be covered.
 
Me (softly): I see God
 
God: Oh and that foot massager, it had a shortage that was going to throw out all of the power in your house tonight. I didn't think you wanted to be in the dark.
 
Me: I'm Sorry God
 
God: Don't be sorry, just learn to Trust Me.... in All things , the Good & the bad.
 
Me: I will trust You.
 
God: And don't doubt that My plan for your day is Always Better than your plan.
 
Me: I won't God. And let me just tell you God, Thank You for Everything today.
 
God: You're welcome child. It was just another day being your God and I Love looking after My Children...
 

 

--------

 

Actually, I have something to add to the conversation before I forward it along!

 

Me: God, why did you let my baby die?

God: I'm sorry my child, but her death would bring many souls to salvation.

Me: You're not powerful enough to save both them and my baby?

God: ...

Me: You're not omniscient enough to think up a way to save people that doesn't involve the death of a baby or loved one?

God: ...err....it was a trial...yeah that's it, I put you through a trial to make you..umm...a better christian and to build your faith or something.

God: Hello? Are you there?

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Arrrgggg! The stupidity! It buuurrrrnnnsss!!!!!!

 

 the death angel was at your bed this morning & I had to send one of My Angels to battle him for your life. I let you sleep through that

 
Me (puzzled): Oh. You mean you couldn't just kick his ass out yourself in an instant???
 
GOD: I didn't let your car start because there was a drunk driver on your route that would have hit you if you were on the road.
 
Me: (apalled) You mean you let him drive?? Why didn't you make HIS car not start???!!!!
 
God: The first person who made your sandwich today was sick & I didn't want you to catch what they have, I knew you couldn't afford to miss work.
 
Me (eyes rolling): Why didn't you keep the sandwich maker from being sick like you did me??
 
God: Your phone went dead bcuz the person that was calling was going to give false witness about what you said on that call, I didn't even let you talk to them so you would be covered.
 
Me (disgusted): And why didn't you make the caller's phone go dead??
 
God: Oh and that foot massager, it had a shortage that was going to throw out all of the power in your house tonight. I didn't think you wanted to be in the dark.

 

Me (rolling eyes again): You can't even fix a foot massager? What kind of deity are you?

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It's useless garbage like those facebook comments that validate every day of my life since fleeing from that cult! Thanks!

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Me: God, can I ask You a question?

God:

Me: Promise You won't get mad

God:

Me: Why did You let so much stuff happen to me today?

God:

Me: Well, I woke up late

God:

Me: My car took forever to start

God:

Me: at lunch they made my sandwich wrong & I had to wait

God:

Me: On the way home, my phone went DEAD, just as I picked up a call

God:

Me: And on top of it all off, when I got home ~I just want to soak my feet in my new foot massager & relax. BUT it wouldn't work!!! Nothing went right today! Why did You do that?

God:

Me: Hello???

God:

Me: Anybody?

God:

Me: <sigh>

Me: Thanks. I'm sure it all happened for a reason.

     Fixed.

 

          mwc

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Facebook share reminds me I have an uncontrollable urge to slow down at traffic wrecks to look for 'Jesus is my co-pilot' or 'Jesus On Board' bumper stickers or those fish emblems. What Christians whine about are mostly unimportant things, such as the whine in the Facebook share. Thank heavens god has a lack-luster plan for all of us instead of plenty of food and basic human needs.

.

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The narcissism of Christianity is just so awful.

 

Where was God when the 40,000 people in third word countries died today of preventable diseases?

 

He was protecting a middle class American who did not want the sniffles before a big presentation.

 

*smacks forehead

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God:...meanwhile 5500 children starved to death in africa today 'cause i was so busy dealing with YOUR shit you ungrateful bitch.

 

Oh, wait...I'm supposed to be omnipotent and omnipresent, aren't I?

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