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I Don't Get It Anymore...


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When I was a Christian, I at least thought I understood things. The reasoning made some sense somehow. I could understand those in the faith and why they acted or believed what they did. Even if I didn't necessarily agree with it, I understood the reasoning and why they thought the way they did.

 

I can no longer understand it. I've been removed from the faith for a while, and now Christian behavior often perplexes me. Things I'm sure I once grasped and understood no longer make sense. It's kind of strange and it's as if I've 'lost' something somehow.

 

Don't get me wrong, it's not like losing a vital memory or important part of myself. I just don't 'get' them anymore, and I'm not exactly sure why, how, or when it exactly happened.

 

Take the story of Jonah and the Whale. At one time, this story made sense, I understood why people believed it, and grasped the 'lesson' of what it was meant to show.

 

Now I haven't got a fucking clue what the hell it's all about. It doesn't make any sense, and not just because it's improbable. It just isn't something I get anymore, there is no real lesson in it. It's just a silly story about how some guy got swallowed by some big ocean thing and was spit out after a while. There's no 'lesson' in it.

 

It's not just things like that, but behaviors and thought patterns as well. I no longer understand the Christian obsession with sex being evil and dirty. I don't get it anymore. When I was a Christian, it made sense, it just doesn't now. I'm not sure what the difference is. It's almost like I forgot, and perhaps I did. That's not a regret or anything, but it's kind of strange. I don't get why anyone would even think of an idea like a 'purity ball'. Way back when, there was reasoning involved that made sense to me, but it's gone now.

 

I'm not suggesting I really miss this 'understanding' but it's weird that I've lost touch with it in such a way. I mean, I understand He-Man is a horrible show that is badly animated and created entirely to sell toys. I know why I once liked it, and I still understand the reasoning I had at the time. I remember how awesome the NES was when it was released, how amazing the graphics looked and how smooth the gameplay was compared to what was out before it. It sounds silly and would likely be hard to grasp for someone who grew up with the Xbox 360, but I remember it and still understand the reasoning and why it was so amazing.

 

I no longer 'get' Christianity though. I often ask myself 'what was I thinking' and I can no longer think of what the fuck I actually was thinking. It just draws a blank and I simply get annoyed about how I was such an idiot and how I've really got no idea what the hell was going on with me back then. It's just gone now.

 

I'm not complaining, it's just weird is all. Not like I miss it or anything, but I can't think of anything else where I completely lost all context of what was going on with me at the time.

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It's called "worldview".  Some people anchor everything they think on the premise that the Bible is the truth and the word of God.  People who leave Christianity look for other ways to organize their thoughts.

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I hear you.  The mindset that allows one to be religious is so foreign to me after all this time as to be nearly alien.  I think about that all the time.

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Ditto. Things that used to "make sense" (but that never should have because they are nonsensical) no longer do.

 

Hurrah!

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Once the magicans trick is exposed, there is no unseeing it. All of the tricks, maniuplation of the auidence is known, how can you unsee it? That is exactly how Christianity is to me now, I went to church a few weeks ago. It just felt like an empty, meaningless parody almost of my former self. I just don't get it anymore and can't even grasp why other people do.

 

I hear how God is good, then I look at the news, internet, and think how can anyone say this? I hear of this loving God, but that is more of just Church imagery and sermons cutting out all the nasty verses in their own Bible.What has essentially happend over the time period of Christianity to non-Christian, you have seen I bet a lot of the tricks, manipulation, lies, the Bible verses they don't talk about in church, from that point how can you really go back to the previous line of thought?

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Guest r3alchild

The former comfort of all of religion is gone

 

And now I am left all alone

 

But if I turn back I will always know

 

Who I never could become

 

Who I never could love

 

A god who just watches but never does

 

A god who promises promises but always lets me down

 

A god that only has power in those poor deluded souls

 

Just like me.

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It affects discourse with them as well.

 

At one point I could have said 'yeah, I used to be Christian too, so I understand, but...'.

 

If I said that now I'd just be dishonest. I don't get them anymore, and I really don't understand. I can say I used to be Christian, but it's not something that really gives me much, if any, perspective to their side of things anymore. Things I still got and understood despite my disbelief years ago after I deconverted are now lost and confusing to me.

 

I didn't forget what church was like, I remember the motions and protocols of the ceremony and events. I remember getting slapped by the Bishop, having oils put on my head, being half choked with incense smoke, sprinkled with water, and having ground ash pushed into my forehead. I remember the prayers, songs [the -awful songs-], and passages. It's not a memory loss really, but I don't really understand the reasoning behind it all anymore despite that I can usually at least spout the 'meaning' or 'purpose' of those things. Those 'meanings' just sound nonsensical now, a lot more than they did when I was first deconverted. I've lost what once passed as 'the logical connection' that was once there. All I see now is a total logical disconnect, and I don't understand why it is Christians really think that stuff.

 

It's actually kind of hard to explain the connection I lost. It's not some 'spiritual loss' of any kind either. It's kind of like seeing a four or five year old boy standing in the middle of a room looking up at a fan while spinning around with his arms out, singing an complete nonsense song. The kid is having an absolute blast, it's easy to see it. However, to an adult, the kid is having that much fun for no good reason. It's just because he is at that age, and whatever the reasons for what he is doing, he is most likely to make no sense to anyone who isn't that age anymore. Someone my age who asked him about why he was doing it and why it was so much fun would get no answer that made a lick of sense to them.

 

It's like I'm too 'old' to understand Christianity anymore.

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Guest r3alchild

The main problem with christianity today is its cheesy factor. It was this cheesiness that brought the whole mess down on my head.

 

I concluded that christianity should have nothing cheesy in it since everything that was coming from it was supposed to be from god and how is god in anyway cheesy.

 

But this was not true, christianity prouduces the cheesiest shit in the world.

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Congrats to being born again, again, again.  You're a new creation, you're a brand new man, old things have passed away, you've been born again, again, again.

 

PS:  MS unveils their new "XBox" tomorrow! 

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I probably only still "get it" even if I know Christianity is nonsense because I've only been deconverted for about a year and a half, or more like a year and three quarters probably. But there is still a lesson in the story of Jonah in the whale, only us deconverts don't learn much from it. The lesson for the believers is, "Do what your god master tells you or 'shit will happen' as the saying goes..."

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I probably only still "get it" even if I know Christianity is nonsense because I've only been deconverted for about a year and a half, or more like a year and three quarters probably. But there is still a lesson in the story of Jonah in the whale, only us deconverts don't learn much from it. The lesson for the believers is, "Do what your god master tells you or 'shit will happen' as the saying goes..."

 

The funny thing is that the whole whale interlude isn't even the moral of the story - the main moral of the story is actually kinda nice. After Jonah finally gets around to his preaching thing, the Ninevites are sorry for being bad people and repent. God says "Cool! No death!". Jonah then sits around outside the city pouting, 'cause the whole reason he ran away from preaching in the first place is that he's a xenophobic jerk and wanted to see them all die and wanted no part in saving their lives. But sitting around moping in the desert sun is, well, pretty uncomfortable. So god makes a shade tree grow up overnight, give Jonah some nice shade for a day, then the tree dies. Jonah gets really whiney about loosing the tree and starts bitching to god about loosing the tree. So god says "So... you care more about one little tree that only existed for one day, more than you care for all the humans and even livestock living in the city that I just saved. You might wanna think about that one." So really, it's more like a story about not being vindictive or judgemental towards unbelievers. It's pretty sad when fundies cherry pick stuff from the bible that makes god look even worse than he actually is in the book!

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Congrats to being born again, again, again.  You're a new creation, you're a brand new man, old things have passed away, you've been born again, again, again.

 

PS:  MS unveils their new "XBox" tomorrow! 

 

My PC is already easily more than twice as powerful as the PS4 or the new unreleased Xbox, possibly even three times more. I'm not sure as I'm too lazy to look up the exact specs released for both consoles right now, but I've seen them and had a chuckle over it. Plus I've got a pair of Oculus Rift 3d VR goggles [dev kit version] and a Razer Hydra for motion control, a 360 controller, and a Razer Naga mouse along with my G110 Keyboard. The system specs for both systems have already been released, and frankly it's kind of pathetic. I'll check it out just out of curiosity for a good laugh, but I'm not getting one. They've not even released either system and I already know neither will come close to what I already have. I built my own gaming monster UGM PC, it's an OCed CPU @ 4.9ghz, 16gb ram @ 2400, 3tb worth of HDD, 500gb SSD, Blu-Ray Drive, Radeon HD 7970 6gb[each] x 3 Xfire, and 7.1 channels of pure awesome.

 

I've actually built around ten PCs for other people, and had them pay me in parts rather than money to build my own.

 

I'll check out the new consoles when they are announced and see what they're about, it'll be good for a laugh, but I really don't see myself wasting money buying either one. It will be fun to watch the console fanboys go nuts over how 'amazing' they both are though. Lol!

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Congrats to being born again, again, again.  You're a new creation, you're a brand new man, old things have passed away, you've been born again, again, again.

 

PS:  MS unveils their new "XBox" tomorrow! 

 

My PC is already easily more than twice as powerful as the PS4 or the new unreleased Xbox, possibly even three times more. I'm not sure as I'm too lazy to look up the exact specs released for both consoles right now, but I've seen them and had a chuckle over it. Plus I've got a pair of Oculus Rift 3d VR goggles [dev kit version] and a Razer Hydra for motion control, a 360 controller, and a Razer Naga mouse along with my G110 Keyboard. The system specs for both systems have already been released, and frankly it's kind of pathetic. I'll check it out just out of curiosity for a good laugh, but I'm not getting one. They've not even released either system and I already know neither will come close to what I already have. I built my own gaming monster UGM PC, it's an OCed CPU @ 4.9ghz, 16gb ram @ 2400, 3tb worth of HDD, 500gb SSD, Blu-Ray Drive, Radeon HD 7970 6gb[each] x 3 Xfire, and 7.1 channels of pure awesome.

 

I've actually built around ten PCs for other people, and had them pay me in parts rather than money to build my own.

 

I'll check out the new consoles when they are announced and see what they're about, it'll be good for a laugh, but I really don't see myself wasting money buying either one. It will be fun to watch the console fanboys go nuts over how 'amazing' they both are though. Lol!

 

Very true... They're using a video card that is going to be something that's middle-ground right now.  My PC is better as well but....  I'm an old-school Halo fanboy.  Also a Gears of War fan and.... My XBox got a lot of action just being a general all-around multi-media device - streaming movies, playing videos, looking at pictures etc...  So I still have some interest in the console market and where it's headed.  But yeah, no doubt, if you know what you're after, it's just better to build your own machine. 

 

I'm also interested in Project Shield and other mobile gaming platforms.  Even the newer tablets are pretty fun to mess around with.  I love my Nexus 7.

 

It's all fun to me. :D

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Guest r3alchild

 

 

I probably only still "get it" even if I know Christianity is nonsense because I've only been deconverted for about a year and a half, or more like a year and three quarters probably. But there is still a lesson in the story of Jonah in the whale, only us deconverts don't learn much from it. The lesson for the believers is, "Do what your god master tells you or 'shit will happen' as the saying goes..."

The funny thing is that the whole whale interlude isn't even the moral of the story - the main moral of the story is actually kinda nice. After Jonah finally gets around to his preaching thing, the Ninevites are sorry for being bad people and repent. God says "Cool! No death!". Jonah then sits around outside the city pouting, 'cause the whole reason he ran away from preaching in the first place is that he's a xenophobic jerk and wanted to see them all die and wanted no part in saving their lives. But sitting around moping in the desert sun is, well, pretty uncomfortable. So god makes a shade tree grow up overnight, give Jonah some nice shade for a day, then the tree dies. Jonah gets really whiney about loosing the tree and starts bitching to god about loosing the tree. So god says "So... you care more about one little tree that only existed for one day, more than you care for all the humans and even livestock living in the city that I just saved. You might wanna think about that one." So really, it's more like a story about not being vindictive or judgemental towards unbelievers. It's pretty sad when fundies cherry pick stuff from the bible that makes god look even worse than he actually is in the book!
I believe that the book of jonah is incomplete. The book seems to abruptly end as if there was more to the story.
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Congrats to being born again, again, again.  You're a new creation, you're a brand new man, old things have passed away, you've been born again, again, again.

 

PS:  MS unveils their new "XBox" tomorrow! 

 

My PC is already easily more than twice as powerful as the PS4 or the new unreleased Xbox, possibly even three times more. I'm not sure as I'm too lazy to look up the exact specs released for both consoles right now, but I've seen them and had a chuckle over it. Plus I've got a pair of Oculus Rift 3d VR goggles [dev kit version] and a Razer Hydra for motion control, a 360 controller, and a Razer Naga mouse along with my G110 Keyboard. The system specs for both systems have already been released, and frankly it's kind of pathetic. I'll check it out just out of curiosity for a good laugh, but I'm not getting one. They've not even released either system and I already know neither will come close to what I already have. I built my own gaming monster UGM PC, it's an OCed CPU @ 4.9ghz, 16gb ram @ 2400, 3tb worth of HDD, 500gb SSD, Blu-Ray Drive, Radeon HD 7970 6gb[each] x 3 Xfire, and 7.1 channels of pure awesome.

 

I've actually built around ten PCs for other people, and had them pay me in parts rather than money to build my own.

 

I'll check out the new consoles when they are announced and see what they're about, it'll be good for a laugh, but I really don't see myself wasting money buying either one. It will be fun to watch the console fanboys go nuts over how 'amazing' they both are though. Lol!

 

Very true... They're using a video card that is going to be something that's middle-ground right now.  My PC is better as well but....  I'm an old-school Halo fanboy.  Also a Gears of War fan and.... My XBox got a lot of action just being a general all-around multi-media device - streaming movies, playing videos, looking at pictures etc...  So I still have some interest in the console market and where it's headed.  But yeah, no doubt, if you know what you're after, it's just better to build your own machine. 

 

I'm also interested in Project Shield and other mobile gaming platforms.  Even the newer tablets are pretty fun to mess around with.  I love my Nexus 7.

 

It's all fun to me. biggrin.png

 

 

I just finished watching the coverage and...

 

BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

 

I've got games made in 2011 that look better than anything they showed today and I don't just mean graphically, though that too.

I'm extremely unimpressed.

 

yodawgxbox.jpg

 

Soon that will be everywhere.

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Congrats to being born again, again, again.  You're a new creation, you're a brand new man, old things have passed away, you've been born again, again, again.

 

PS:  MS unveils their new "XBox" tomorrow! 

 

My PC is already easily more than twice as powerful as the PS4 or the new unreleased Xbox, possibly even three times more. I'm not sure as I'm too lazy to look up the exact specs released for both consoles right now, but I've seen them and had a chuckle over it. Plus I've got a pair of Oculus Rift 3d VR goggles [dev kit version] and a Razer Hydra for motion control, a 360 controller, and a Razer Naga mouse along with my G110 Keyboard. The system specs for both systems have already been released, and frankly it's kind of pathetic. I'll check it out just out of curiosity for a good laugh, but I'm not getting one. They've not even released either system and I already know neither will come close to what I already have. I built my own gaming monster UGM PC, it's an OCed CPU @ 4.9ghz, 16gb ram @ 2400, 3tb worth of HDD, 500gb SSD, Blu-Ray Drive, Radeon HD 7970 6gb[each] x 3 Xfire, and 7.1 channels of pure awesome.

 

I've actually built around ten PCs for other people, and had them pay me in parts rather than money to build my own.

 

I'll check out the new consoles when they are announced and see what they're about, it'll be good for a laugh, but I really don't see myself wasting money buying either one. It will be fun to watch the console fanboys go nuts over how 'amazing' they both are though. Lol!

 

Very true... They're using a video card that is going to be something that's middle-ground right now.  My PC is better as well but....  I'm an old-school Halo fanboy.  Also a Gears of War fan and.... My XBox got a lot of action just being a general all-around multi-media device - streaming movies, playing videos, looking at pictures etc...  So I still have some interest in the console market and where it's headed.  But yeah, no doubt, if you know what you're after, it's just better to build your own machine. 

 

I'm also interested in Project Shield and other mobile gaming platforms.  Even the newer tablets are pretty fun to mess around with.  I love my Nexus 7.

 

It's all fun to me. biggrin.png

 

 

I just finished watching the coverage and...

 

BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

 

I've got games made in 2011 that look better than anything they showed today and I don't just mean graphically, though that too.

I'm extremely unimpressed.

 

yodawgxbox.jpg

 

Soon that will be everywhere.

 

It'll be interesting to see how they price it.  The convenience factor may be the biggest attraction here.  Not everyone is after the most amazing visuals.  After all, those come a a premium cost and many just don't want to spend that.  XBox live has been very successful as well and I the current ocean of members will loving sharing the new experiences with their online buddies. 

 

I will probably end up getting one.  I'm not going to lie. 

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When I was a Christian, I at least thought I understood things. The reasoning made some sense somehow. I could understand those in the faith and why they acted or believed what they did. Even if I didn't necessarily agree with it, I understood the reasoning and why they thought the way they did.

 

I can no longer understand it. I've been removed from the faith for a while, and now Christian behavior often perplexes me. Things I'm sure I once grasped and understood no longer make sense. It's kind of strange and it's as if I've 'lost' something somehow.

 

Don't get me wrong, it's not like losing a vital memory or important part of myself. I just don't 'get' them anymore, and I'm not exactly sure why, how, or when it exactly happened.

 

Take the story of Jonah and the Whale. At one time, this story made sense, I understood why people believed it, and grasped the 'lesson' of what it was meant to show.

 

Now I haven't got a fucking clue what the hell it's all about. It doesn't make any sense, and not just because it's improbable. It just isn't something I get anymore, there is no real lesson in it. It's just a silly story about how some guy got swallowed by some big ocean thing and was spit out after a while. There's no 'lesson' in it.

 

It's not just things like that, but behaviors and thought patterns as well. I no longer understand the Christian obsession with sex being evil and dirty. I don't get it anymore. When I was a Christian, it made sense, it just doesn't now. I'm not sure what the difference is. It's almost like I forgot, and perhaps I did. That's not a regret or anything, but it's kind of strange. I don't get why anyone would even think of an idea like a 'purity ball'. Way back when, there was reasoning involved that made sense to me, but it's gone now.

 

I'm not suggesting I really miss this 'understanding' but it's weird that I've lost touch with it in such a way. I mean, I understand He-Man is a horrible show that is badly animated and created entirely to sell toys. I know why I once liked it, and I still understand the reasoning I had at the time. I remember how awesome the NES was when it was released, how amazing the graphics looked and how smooth the gameplay was compared to what was out before it. It sounds silly and would likely be hard to grasp for someone who grew up with the Xbox 360, but I remember it and still understand the reasoning and why it was so amazing.

 

I no longer 'get' Christianity though. I often ask myself 'what was I thinking' and I can no longer think of what the fuck I actually was thinking. It just draws a blank and I simply get annoyed about how I was such an idiot and how I've really got no idea what the hell was going on with me back then. It's just gone now.

 

I'm not complaining, it's just weird is all. Not like I miss it or anything, but I can't think of anything else where I completely lost all context of what was going on with me at the time.

I know exactly how you feel. once you wake up you cant get back into the same dream. 

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It'll be interesting to see how they price it.  The convenience factor may be the biggest attraction here.  Not everyone is after the most amazing visuals.  After all, those come a a premium cost and many just don't want to spend that.  XBox live has been very successful as well and I the current ocean of members will loving sharing the new experiences with their online buddies. 

 

I will probably end up getting one.  I'm not going to lie. 

 

 

Word is around $499 for both the PS4 and the Xbox 1.

 

The more I see about this thing, the more I dislike it.

 

Started a thread about it here: http://www.ex-christian.net/topic/56815-xbox-1/

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 Those 'meanings' just sound nonsensical now, a lot more than they did when I was first deconverted. I've lost what once passed as 'the logical connection' that was once there. All I see now is a total logical disconnect, and I don't understand why it is Christians really think that stuff.

 

 

 

 

 

Yeah, I get this, too. So many of the "answers" that used to make sense ("God is testing you!" "Jesus brought you through this for a special reason." "I believe God has sent this into my life for a purpose and it's up to me to find out.") are just complete hogwash now. But people are pattern-seekers, and want to make meanings of things. Generally Christians just do it too simplistically, without really thinking of anything beyond the surface. "Oh, this song came on the radio, that means God is telling me what I want to hear!" It's because we WANT and NEED to believe, desperately, so we jiggle things around until we can make sense of them. Bible stories will have some sort of meaning if we're willing to overlook a lot of the underlying messages, because we WANT and NEED them to. 

 

But then we learn how to think critically.

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