Hunter93 Posted May 29, 2013 Share Posted May 29, 2013 My mind must be going nuts. Despite my de-conversion, I had a thought that has me freaked out. The thought was selling my soul to the devil. I don't even believe the devil exists anymore. Yet, this has me scared out of my mind. Any thoughts? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Overcame Faith Posted May 29, 2013 Share Posted May 29, 2013 When I first deconverted, I had a thought which may be somewhat like what you express. I had already decided in my mind that Christianity was a false religion. However, I was still not totally sure about it. My fear was that what if I am wrong and there really is a Satan and a hell and by renouncing Christianity I am sending myself to hell. So to be sure and more confident in my decision, I began reading the Bible carefully and studying it as I never had studied it before. My conclusion was that the religion is false - no Satan and no hell. I shared my experience with you to let you know that such thoughts as you are having are not unusual, but they can be dealt with. It will get better as more time passes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deva Posted May 29, 2013 Share Posted May 29, 2013 Selling your soul to the devil never even came out of the Bible. It is completely fiction (not that the Bible isn't!). Its a legend from Germany and its in a story "Faust" written by someone named Goethe. It is questionable if the devil is even the enemy of God. Think about how chummy God and the devil are in the book of Job in the Bible. It is all absurd. The devil is the personification of evil and God the personification of good. They fight for the possession of human souls. God is supposed to be all-powerful, right? If so, how could there even be such a struggle? Why would they fight over human beings - a life form on one planet as opposed to billions of planets with most likely billions of other life forms. Doesn't this sound very suspicious. Look at the scale of the universe. See how petty and ridiculous this idea is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hunter93 Posted May 29, 2013 Author Share Posted May 29, 2013 I actually had a thought like this before when I was a Christian. Or at least, I believed "Satan" was temping me. This time though, it was more or less direct even though I didn't mean it. I de-converted and I don't even believe in "Satan" anymore. I guess de-converting made me more prone to fear like this. My mind must still be confused. And yeah, I actually have never read the whole Bible so it's only through research I learned that it wasn't even mentioned in it. I guess it's like the Great Tribulation and Anti-Christ end time stuff. Those aren't mentioned in the Bible either. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bhim Posted May 29, 2013 Share Posted May 29, 2013 May I ask what you mean by this? Are you concerned that by leaving Christianity you have effectively sold your soul to the devil? Or is this something you're considering doing (whatever that means)? Consider this. If Christianity is true, we're all going to hell. You, me, the guy on the island who never heard of Jesus, the Jew who refuses to convert because he (rightly) blames the holocaust on Christians, and every person who lived in the world outside Europe in the first century. There's no such thing as "selling your soul." Christianity is either true or it isn't, and your fate is independent of some prayer you utter to an arbitrary Satan figure. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RankStranger Posted May 29, 2013 Share Posted May 29, 2013 So if you sold your soul- what kind of price did you get? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bhim Posted May 29, 2013 Share Posted May 29, 2013 I actually had a thought like this before when I was a Christian. Or at least, I believed "Satan" was temping me. This time though, it was more or less direct even though I didn't mean it. I de-converted and I don't even believe in "Satan" anymore. I guess de-converting made me more prone to fear like this. My mind must still be confused. And yeah, I actually have never read the whole Bible so it's only through research I learned that it wasn't even mentioned in it. I guess it's like the Great Tribulation and Anti-Christ end time stuff. Those aren't mentioned in the Bible either. Actually the phrase "Great Tribulation" comes from the book of Revelation, and the idea of the anti-Christ can be found in 1 John and either 1 or 2 Thessalonians (John specifically uses the phrase). There's a lot of fiction built up around these though. If it makes you feel better, keep in mind that in Hinduism, even a lot of demons pray to God for material gain. Hindu concepts of evil are very different, and we don't have a concept of Satan. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
centauri Posted May 29, 2013 Share Posted May 29, 2013 Something you might want to keep in mind is that there is no "Devil" in Judaism. The Old Testament has no arch-enemy of God because God created all things, including "evil". Christianity and Judaism are two radically different religions. Ironically, Christianity is exactly what the Hebrew god warned his people not to be seduced by. In a sense, selling your soul to Christianity is a recipe for wrath from the Hebrew god. Christianity is loosely based on the Hebrew scriptures or Old Testament. Christianity picks and chooses which tenets of the Old Testament it considers useful. It also rips verses completely out of context to serve its needs. It's basically a form of revisionist theology. When I first discovered this decades ago, I was shocked because it turned everything I was taught on its head. I became disillusioned, which meant I could no longer cling to the illusion I was taught by various preachers and pastors. However, once the curtain was pulled back, Christianity never "wowed' me again and I was aghast at how much I had been lied to by people who wanted me to think they had some sort of special authority. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deva Posted May 29, 2013 Share Posted May 29, 2013 I actually had a thought like this before when I was a Christian. Or at least, I believed "Satan" was temping me. This time though, it was more or less direct even though I didn't mean it. I de-converted and I don't even believe in "Satan" anymore. I guess de-converting made me more prone to fear like this. My mind must still be confused. And yeah, I actually have never read the whole Bible so it's only through research I learned that it wasn't even mentioned in it. I guess it's like the Great Tribulation and Anti-Christ end time stuff. Those aren't mentioned in the Bible either. The tribulation and the anti-christ and all the end-times stuff is based upon the book of Revelation and the Old Testament Book of Daniel, read in a particular way. Its all garbage, and total fiction. Some of the early Christians didn't even think Revelation belonged in the Bible, it was such trash. If you read it strictly as fiction (which it is) some of the images in it can be interesting and even amusing. But don't read it as any sort of prediction of the future. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hunter93 Posted May 29, 2013 Author Share Posted May 29, 2013 But did it ever mention THE Anti-Christ or THE Tribulation? Obviously, people take stuff out of context and it's been a while since I read Revelations and I never read a lot of the OT. quote name="Bhim" post="866668" timestamp="1369869741"] I actually had a thought like this before when I was a Christian. Or at least, I believed "Satan" was temping me. This time though, it was more or less direct even though I didn't mean it. I de-converted and I don't even believe in "Satan" anymore. I guess de-converting made me more prone to fear like this. My mind must still be confused. And yeah, I actually have never read the whole Bible so it's only through research I learned that it wasn't even mentioned in it. I guess it's like the Great Tribulation and Anti-Christ end time stuff. Those aren't mentioned in the Bible either. Actually the phrase "Great Tribulation" comes from the book of Revelation, and the idea of the anti-Christ can be found in 1 John and either 1 or 2 Thessalonians (John specifically uses the phrase). There's a lot of fiction built up around these though. If it makes you feel better, keep in mind that in Hinduism, even a lot of demons pray to God for material gain. Hindu concepts of evil are very different, and we don't have a concept of Satan. No, it just popped in my head as if I was actually telling someone. When I de-converted, I never though anything like that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mymistake Posted May 30, 2013 Share Posted May 30, 2013 I wish I could sell my soul. I would do that as often as I could. Sounds like a good scam. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hunter93 Posted May 30, 2013 Author Share Posted May 30, 2013 It was just a thought that popped in my head for some reason. It's not like I actually kneeled said some prayer out loud or something. Even if I did, it would be to a entity that I don't believe exists. My paranoia has been pretty high lately. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
duderonomy Posted May 30, 2013 Share Posted May 30, 2013 Hi Hunter93, welcome to Ex-C. I wouldn't worry at all about such thoughts. It's strange at first when you de-convert, and although my experience may not be exactly like yours, I do know that sometimes our minds and emotions play tricks on us. It's a very personal, emotional thing for some to realize that what they once believed isn't true at all. You are certainly in the right place to learn about these things. I hope you stick around. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hunter93 Posted May 30, 2013 Author Share Posted May 30, 2013 Ok, now I'm REALLY terrified. I kept saying out loud "Satan is not real" and I got two bugs in my room and afterwards, I JUST noticed two of what seems to be the EXACT same bugs. I didn't even know they were in my room. It's like they came out of nowhere. I'm really freaking out now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
◊ crazyguy123 ◊ Posted May 30, 2013 Share Posted May 30, 2013 Ok, now I'm REALLY terrified. I kept saying out loud "Satan is not real" and I got two bugs in my room and afterwards, I JUST noticed two of what seems to be the EXACT same bugs. I didn't even know they were in my room. It's like they came out of nowhere. I'm really freaking out now. Maybe you have your windows open and the bug screen is in bad condition. Maybe these bugs got in through the door and you did not notice, so they've just been hiding and only now came out of hiding, for no real reason at all. I know this probably sounds easier said than done, but you need to find a way to calm yourself and not feel so afraid of Satan. You are on a slippery slope leading to a nervous break down and I really hope you can find a solution to ease this paranoia that you have. If Satan was real, I would think he would be a bit more creative than a few annoying bugs appearing out of nowhere. If I was Satan, the annoying bugs would be doing some synchronized flying, in circles in the air, saying a bunch of curse words in squeaky demon voices. Maybe I would even have them sing "Back in Black" by AC/DC, I don't really know. If Satan is really trying to scare you with a few bugs, then he's pretty boring, to say the least. Maybe if you think Satan is really present and can hear you, it might calm you a little and give you a good laugh if you said, "Satan, if you can hear me, you seriously need to grow a better sense of humor, okay?" Then once you felt calmer and had a good laugh, you would see how irrational your fear is and feel better. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hunter93 Posted May 30, 2013 Author Share Posted May 30, 2013 Everything seems to be fine now. Maybe it was just a coincidence. But I'm still really scared though. Not just about that but something bad happening to me or my family in general. And to think hours earlier, I was feeling better. Ugh, this sucks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JamesG Posted May 30, 2013 Share Posted May 30, 2013 What your feeling is normal you are still in the process of de-converting. just accepting that you don't believe in something is just the beginning really. What is happening is your mind is trying to maintain what it has been trained to believe is real. By simply deciding that you don't believe in god and satan does not mean that your mind is ready to. You have to re-train your reality. This takes time and varies from individual to individual. Right now your mind is latching on to anything that will bring you back to its perceived reality. two bugs flying into a bathroom means nothing if two flies came in to my room and landed on my hand right now that would mean just that nothing more you are associating meaning based on your former perceived reality. If the fear is to much and you cant handle it maybe you should re-convert? This is not going to be easy and will probably take some time. You have to be willing to face your fears of hell satan and demons to get past this stage. Other wise it will always linger. If it helps maybe you should research the concept of satan as someone else pointed out the whole concept is post jesus anyways after all if the god of the bible is real he didn't tell anyone about satan in the old testament in fact satan means prosecutor it is used frequently in the bible but it is not associated with any individual in particular. If logic doesn't work and you still believe it. Try immersion therapy go to a church of satan or something like that. (they don't really believe in the devil its just a hedonistic philosophy really) Your still at a cross roads and now its time to shit or get off the pot so good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JamesG Posted May 30, 2013 Share Posted May 30, 2013 Everything seems to be fine now. Maybe it was just a coincidence. But I'm still really scared though. Not just about that but something bad happening to me or my family in general. And to think hours earlier, I was feeling better. Ugh, this sucks. yeah it does suck =( there are some good deconversion stories you should watch on you tube namely prpl fox and Evid3nc3 that should help Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RipVanWinkle Posted May 30, 2013 Share Posted May 30, 2013 Hunter93: Now you are into voodoo. Which is more likely: Two more bugs got in or the very same bugs got in or Satan is real, though there is no evidence whatsoever that he is? Your allowing yourself to be spooked. Antidote: Read some of the voluminous stupid stuff in the Bible. Like god ordering the Jews to kill every man, woman, child and animal of the enemy, except for virgin girls whom the Jews can keep. Keep reading if that doesn't work until one of the numerous ridiculous things god said in the Bible brings you to your senses. bill Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hunter93 Posted May 30, 2013 Author Share Posted May 30, 2013 I've always been spooked by bugs as I really don't like them. The fact I was already scared just made it worse. Plus, I still kinda have my Christian superstition. And not to mention the thought that started it all. I didn't expect me to adjust so easy but geez, this is probably the most freaked out I've gotten. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hunter93 Posted May 30, 2013 Author Share Posted May 30, 2013 I'm starting to calm down now but still have some fear. Hopefully, my fear is just that. Fear. Gonna get some rest. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
duderonomy Posted May 30, 2013 Share Posted May 30, 2013 I woke up the morning after I knew. I was fine, and you will be too, Hunter93. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
◊ crazyguy123 ◊ Posted May 30, 2013 Share Posted May 30, 2013 I'm starting to calm down now but still have some fear. Hopefully, my fear is just that. Fear. Gonna get some rest. Did my humor help you at all? I was trying to make you laugh if it was possible, but I don't know if it worked. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bhim Posted May 30, 2013 Share Posted May 30, 2013 Hunter, maybe you should tell us what exactly you're afraid of. Is this just general anxiety, or something specific like fear of going to hell when you die? If you can specify your fears, then you could ask: would the Jesus of the Bible do this? A lot of ex-Christians, here, including myself, know the Bible very well and can answer those questions. In the Bible, Jesus doesn't punish apostasy, except of course by eternal hell. He doesn't open you to demonic possession or anything else. The apostle Paul's friend Demas left his ministry because he was in love with the world. No mention of Satanic attacks. Terror only befell active rebels against Jesus, such as Judas Iscariot (suicide) and King Herod (death by God). You're worried about Satan and are telling yourself he doesn't exist. How about going to the root of the problem, namely Jesus. Google some info about him, you'll find his very existence is not entirely certain, to say nothing of the veracity of the gospels. Ask yourself: does a man who's out to send your family to hell merit your worship? Is he a good person? If not, then he's no God, and has no power over you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest r3alchild Posted May 30, 2013 Share Posted May 30, 2013 Don't worry if you do end up running back to god. You will learn quicker that nothings there but your manipulated brain. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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