Popular Post Burny Posted June 7, 2013 Author Popular Post Share Posted June 7, 2013 Stop reading my posts and telling my parents. This site is supposed to be confidential. You're a jerk and a jack ass whoever you are. Thanks also for hurting my folks. Good Christian actions. NOT. 12 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LifeCycle Posted June 7, 2013 Share Posted June 7, 2013 Congrats! Sounds like it went as good as possible. I loved your line about Christians and ignorance of the world. Great stuff. At least moving forward you can be you (somewhat) and don't need to fake praising sweet baby jeebus. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RenaissanceWoman Posted June 7, 2013 Share Posted June 7, 2013 Awesome read! Thanks for taking the time to report back so thoroughly. What a load off for you, I'm sure! I smiled at this: "They were very confused that I was so much happier and less stressed out than before. My mom actually asked me if this could be from God?! Even my dad laughed at that one." About 6 months ago, after I had been out of my church activities for about 6 months, I told an older gentleman from my church that it's all good: Since I had given up those giant activities, my stress was way down, my free time was way up, and my income had doubled (from more time and self-confidence to make a big leap in my career path). I am so much happier being out of there! Since I was still (sort of) a Christian at the time, I told him that God was rewarding me for finally hearing and heeding his ever-increasing smacks-upside-the-head to get out of that particular church; I had accepted that God had "closed that door but opened a window" for me. The man laughed and said, "But how do you know that all this good stuff hasn't come from Satan, to tempt you to leave?" Yet again -- two Christians viewing the same good news from different perspectives (from God versus from Satan) -- with no way of knowing who is right about it. Anyway, I'm totally out of there now so I can see it much more clearly now. I hope I'm not too far off topic. I thought you might get a chuckle about how another Christian reacted when I left. Same kind of idea, I think. Burny, it is not in you to be capable of becoming a jerk, from what I have read here. Your parents need not worry. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Burny Posted June 7, 2013 Author Share Posted June 7, 2013 Stop reading my posts and telling my parents. This site is supposed to be confidential. You're a jerk and a jack ass whoever you are. Thanks also for hurting my folks. Good Christian actions. NOT. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JamesG Posted June 7, 2013 Share Posted June 7, 2013 I think you handled this great. Seems like you managed to do what a lot of us dream of convincing them that you don't believe and getting them to still maintain a good relationship with you I know it probably wont all be sunshine and roses but it seems like you handled this really well and it speaks volumes on your parents that they gave you the courtesy and respect you deserve kudos 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest r3alchild Posted June 7, 2013 Share Posted June 7, 2013 Things are never as bad as they seem once you confront your fears. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RankStranger Posted June 7, 2013 Share Posted June 7, 2013 Your parents are lucky to have a kid who respects them enough to do that for them. I'm not willing to do that for MY parental units- I know that they wouldn't 'get' it and it would only cause them to worry more. So I just do whatever I want and let them think whatever they're gonna think. The up side is that I have no reason to care what they think. The down side is that they don't really get to know ME or what I think, feel, know, etc. All they get is a superficial relationship with me- and they can fill in the blanks with wishful thinking, hope, prayer, etc. as it suits them. It's a shitty way to do things, but I don't see a better option. At least you're giving your parents a CHANCE to know you. I hope they understand what you've done for them, and use it wisely. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pantophobia Posted June 7, 2013 Share Posted June 7, 2013 That sounds like it went about as well as it possibly could go, Burny! Excellent recap. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RogueScholar Posted June 8, 2013 Share Posted June 8, 2013 Thank you so much for sharing your story. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue elephant Posted June 8, 2013 Share Posted June 8, 2013 Wow! Hats off to your communication skills! Excellent result! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kolaida Posted June 8, 2013 Share Posted June 8, 2013 Good job and props to you for getting it out! I think my parents would also rather me have died a believer than go on as a non-believer. Because they believe we'll now be separated for eternity, but, before, we could have continued this on for eternity. It's sad that way of thinking. Major props to you, it sounds like it actually went over roughly well if a bit awkward at parts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Burny Posted June 9, 2013 Author Share Posted June 9, 2013 Stop reading my posts and telling my parents. This site is supposed to be confidential. You're a jerk and a jack ass whoever you are. Thanks also for hurting my folks. Good Christian actions. NOT. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cousin Ricky Posted June 10, 2013 Share Posted June 10, 2013 They implied that I might become a bad person now - and they wouldn't maintain a relationship if I became a jerk. I told them I wouldn't be friends with a jerk either, but that I was actually more tolerant now that I didn't judge people by their faith and that I was less depressed and actually even treating my family better (my wife backed me up on that one). They were mystified by this. Mere months before I deconverted, I thought that altruism had originated with Christianity. There is a scene in Storykeepers which shows pagans flummoxed at Christians showing altruism, and that scene made perfect sense to me! But when I asked myself, does being a Christian and receiving the sacraments really give us strength to resist temptation? Are Christians really better behaved than non-Christians?—that was a major trigger for my end-stage slide. In retrospect, though, the Storykeepers characters weren’t showing true altruism, were they? According to my belief at the time, they would get an infinite reward for their actions. In my mind, there was no such thing as altruism. I see this in your parents’ mystification, as well as in a few preachers and apologists whom I wouldn’t want to meet in a dark alley. (You know the ones—the ones that say that they’d go killing and raping and pillaging if their god weren’t holding them back. But your parents sound better than that, though.) About a month after my deconversion, an ATM screwed up and gave me too much money. I returned the money to the bank. As I was walking back to my car, it occurred to me, I don’t believe in hell or an omniscient spy any more, and I would never have been caught, so why did I do that? I had some thinking to do. I guess at least they have 7 kids who are still indoctrinated and will help them die happy... Or so they think. Who knows how many of your siblings you’ll inspire to come out of the closet? My own mom is content to “know” that the scales will fall from my eyes (how ironic!) sometime before I die, and she’s insufferably smug about this eventuality. (How can one say “I told you so” in advance??? Faith, I guess.) I quite pointedly leave it at that (although in the event that I go before she does, I hope she doesn’t confabulate a deathbed conversion at the eulogy). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aggie Posted June 10, 2013 Share Posted June 10, 2013 Burny, Great to hear that it went well. (Glad to hear that your wife is of the same mind too. Wish mine was!) Very good decision I think, it would have been a much greater burden to keep it a secret I think... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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