Coming Out As Athiest Woman While Married To A Christian Man

[BlueBohemian]

This was my blog entry many months ago:
 

To talk about my change it’s best to start with where I was. Around the age of 17, after attending church and church events for years, I made a commitment to have a deep relationship with God, to read my Bible, pray, and grow. And I did. I also went to a Christian college. I felt my faith grow. I went to Bible studies and studied the Bible on my own. I married a Christian man, and we took our responsibilities as Christians seriously. I taught my children Christian values and Bible events. I believed in God in every way I knew possible. I learned so much over the years. I grew from a self-centered teenager to a loving, responsible mother.

Then one day last summer I woke up and asked myself the question, “Is it possible that my experience with Christianity is just inside my head? Is there anything that has happened that I can be certain was anything more than a strong emotion relevant to the beliefs in my head? Does the God of the Bible really exist?”

In a nutshell, I have found that upon reflection, while I have believed wholeheartedly in God and followed him closely for over ten years, there has been nothing in my relationship with God that was not me. It’s been me doing the reading, the thinking, the believing. I could find nowhere where anything happened that I could say, “Oh yeah, that was totally caused by something outside of me and other people!” While I know for certain I had a belief, and the belief resulted in wonderful things and changes inside of me, I have no certainty that God actually does exist and has a relationship with me in which he does things. There is absolutely no proof for it. I was faced with the sudden wonder-maybe I’ve just thought I’ve been a Christian for all these years, but God never actually gave me faith. Or, even, perhaps I actually missed something in ten years of studying the Bible that is a key element of faith.

I was so astounded by this development. I had never questioned my belief in God. It was as real to me as the sun. I knew I was going to be a Christian forever and go to heaven. I prayed a lot and asked God what was wrong. I asked him to bring my faith back. I researched salvation and tried to figure out, “What makes somebody really saved? How do you know for certain you have the Holy Spirit indwelling in you?” I went to church hoping to find all my doubts cleared up by God speaking to me through somebody else instead of the Bible. Instead, I just questioned everything the sermon said. So much of it was Christianese. I very suddenly understood what people meant when they said people talking in Christianese. It means saying a lot of catchphrases that believers get but not actually using solid Bible answers and definitions. It means somebody actually trying to understand how faith works will be left in the dark. I also realized how much of the faith-salvation-prayer thing consisted of things that aren’t actually defined by the Bible. I was so overwhelmed and asked God to help. “I want to believe, help me believe”.

Silence.

I started looking into apologetic materials. I’d skimmed over so many ‘proof of God’ things in books and websites, citing all sorts of things, and nodded my head, “Of course!” But that was past me. Now I was skeptical me and I needed more than, “The universe is so incredibly complex and we don’t have explanations for everything, so God did it, of course.” I found myself in the odd place of reading through arguments and finding them lacking in actually proving much at all. While I do admit there is a possibility of God existing based on failure to disprove him, there’s no actual proof of the God of the Bible actually existing in a way any person could actually test. Plenty of people have their own experiences. But I, in my faithless place, needed something more than a secondhand God. Again I pleaded with God to renew my faith.

More silence. School started up and I got a lot busier, but always in the back of my mind were the questions. I read here and there. I listened. I got nowhere. The God of the Universe, who was supposed to be in a personal relationship with me, remained silent. My heart, which was supposed to be filled with the Holy Spirit, had nothing but echos of emptiness in the faith section.

My question of if I had ever heard anything other than myself in my life of faith was sadly confirmed in the here and now what I had known all along. This had always been a one-sided conversation. Why expect something that never happened in the first place? In my relationship with God I had always just used my emotions, wisdom, and my understanding of the Bible to make decisions and worship.  I never expected to hear an audible voice or anything. My heart guided me because I had the Holy Spirit, of course. However, if I was honest with myself, it had been a mind game. I didn’t feel much different when talking to God than I did before this. The answer had always been silence and I had always been left to read the Bible and make my own judgement calls using logic and emotion. But I always had faith.

Except when I suddenly realized I didn’t. I had peaked behind Oz’s curtain, and there was nobody back there. While I know for certain my beliefs had been genuine, strong, and affected things about my life, there was absolutely nothing to show that it was outside of my head at all.

I have had people ask if something happened. Truth of the matter is, 2012, while being interestingly challenging, had been a pretty excellent year. My husband and I were achieving goals in our marriage we never had before, and the continual dance of getting along as husband and wife had reached new intimacies and triumphs. The kids had all been healthy. I was a confident parent. There was actually not much going on in the summer when it all happened.

What do you do when you have made the greatest possible failure a Christian can make? Faith is the most important thing. I have none. I do admit I haven’t ruled out the idea of a God, even as a creator. But until I see some sort of proof he exists, or faith suddenly charges into my heart and head, I just don’t believe in the God of the Bible. I am not a Christian. But I was before. I know exactly how Christians feel about non-Christians. They love them with the love of Jesus, of course, but they don’t trust them and they feel sorry for them. They know non-Christians are going to hell and they are just so wrong about whatever non-Christian worldview they’ve adopted. Christians feel anybody who doesn’t believe in God cannot really be a moral, honest, or really good person. Non-Christians are just faking it all for society’s benefit, but in the inside they are alone, sad, and misguided, doomed to depression in their lives of sin.

You see why I couldn’t just come out and say I wasn’t a believer? I would declare myself to be on the opposite side of almost everybody I knew. My family members are all Christians, and the people I socialize with in person are all Christians. I was weird to begin with, but being outside of the faith-that’s insane.

I went to church and felt like a liar. Being in the presence of Christians and having them all assume I believe as they do feels like hypocrisy. But I couldn’t just don a button that said, ‘Pardon me, confused agnostic in your presence!” I realized that my years of not having close friends had had an odd effect. Aside from two family members, nobody really ever asked me about my relationship with God. I could be an agnostic for years and have nobody even know because they would never even talk about spirituality to me anyway. So I’ve been mostly silent about it to acquaintances.

For the family members, it was much, much worse. For a Christian, you know everything will work out ok if you just trust in God. But I didn’t. To inform your loved ones with the news that you are on Hellbound Train is to break their hearts. While salvation definitions vary, one thing that comes very clearly from reading the New Testament is that belief and faith are essential to avoiding eternal damnation. Instead of being born again, I was kinda dead again.

Another awkward thing is that I haven’t exactly hopped on any other worldview wagon. I’m just a year into this process. I haven’t had time to look deeply into anything yet. I don’t see a point in any other religion, really. I mean, from the outside, they are all making claims but nobody is actually offering any proof that their version of God is more legit than another. I really have to say I still do strongly believe in being moral and loving other people just as much as I did before. I hear the Golden Rule loud and clear. I want to raise my children to be loving and respectful to all. My general goal right now is to look into worldviews of all shapes and sizes and learn more about human beings from more than just a Christian perspective. I hope to do some philosophy study. I am questioning all sorts of beliefs and practices in my head. Why do I do things? What is right? What is loving?

In a rather awkward comparison, it’s like I’m breaking up with Christianity but I’m not really seeing anybody else. I would like to say, “It’s not you, it’s me,” but I honestly don’t know if God exists or not. If he does exists, I have no idea how I deeply studied Him and believed myself to be a believer for years but I was just duping myself that I made the Heaven team. When in reality I have just thought I was a believer, but God never actually wanted me to be a Christian. So, he didn’t give me the Holy Spirit. In that case, for the breakup, it would be me. But if God really doesn’t exist despite a large portion of the world thinking he does, then it would totally be his fault for the breakup. Except for that glaringly obvious logical fault that somebody who does not exist can’t be responsible for anything.

There’s also the terrible fact that I am married to a Christian and my beloved children are going to a Christian school. Well, it’s not terrible that they are that way, it’s terrible that this is happening to me instead of some single or unattached person that isn’t going to cause so many loved ones confusion and hurt when she changes worldviews partway through her relationships. When my husband and I met in college, we both were strong in faith and knew we’d always be that way! We married each other as Christians, both of us wanting to avoid being unequally yoked. This is something completely scary to have in a marriage and it’s been sad for us to work through.

 

Like every organization run by people, there’s big bad stuff that happens in the name of Christianity. But I have to honestly say that the people I know personally that are Christians are a loving bunch. Part of me wants to just remain quiet, in case I influence others to leave their happy soft warm place in Christianity (in the case that God doesn’t really exist and other people are going through the type of Christianity I was). I have already talked to a couple of friends I went to that Christian college with who have been through a similar journey or are going through it now.

 

 

Since then, I have come out of the atheist closet and recieved interesting results. But I guess what I wanted to talk about here was my marriage. While I myself came from a pretty spiritually nuetral family, my husband came from a very conservative and traditional family, who we are still very close to. He has been so depressed over this whole thing, and our marriage has been struggling to much. Nobody really gets me. I have met people who are atheist but they were never in it as deep as I was. The Christians in my life, DH and his family, are all thinking of me as the foolhardy rebel who is rejecting God purposefully. They are judging me for everything I do and while I did have a great friendship with them, they now see me as an outsider.

 

My husband I believe has suffered long in the guilt of Christianity. I watched all through Purple Fox's youtube video and was so shaken by how his story shared the emotional relational aspects of that. I really think I have been through part of that, but I think my husband has been through much worse. He has always felt he is not a good enough Christian, person, husband, father, etc. He has questioned God but his conclusion was that he was doing Christianity wrong and that's why he felt so utterly disconnected from God. This is despite his years in Bible college (where we met, fell in love, etc) and him knowing the Bible better than anybody I know.

 

He has been heartbroken, and this has led to him nto opening up to me emotionally at all. When I try to talk about my deconversion it turns into a debate and we both get upset. Christianity was something that we shared. We are very different personality wise and religion was our deep common ground. We started out our marriage having many small children soon, so it's been difficult to keep connecting over the years. We have stuck through it but more in survival mode. We haven't had much time for leisure and friendship. As a result, having this split in our worldviews has shook us really badly. He is depressed I am going to hell. I have been forced to deal with the emotional upheaval of leaving a religion without any support from who I would like to be my best friend.

 

There are other issues too. As I become more steady in who I am outside of Christianty, I become more uncomfortable with raising the kids that way. He is a teacher at a Christian school (so keep in mind if he were to go down the path of deconversion, it would mean losing the job and our livelihood) and our children go to school there. Also, as we get closer to all the children being in school, I have been looking into finishing my college education and getting a job myself. His traditional upbringing makes him think women should stay home and tend to the house, something I've always found frustratingly boring and endless. Staying home with the kids while they were little was something I did because I loved the children, I wanted to give them the best start in life, I wanted to spend time with them. But now it has been eight years of endless cleaning (never to my husband's satisfaction, as he has oft complained) and I'm looking forward to the end of poopy diapers and the opportunity to get out of the house. So we have that conflict. But there will be more. As you can guess, his conservative views differ vastly from mine in many ways, and most I haven't even brought up and hopefully can avoid as long as possible. He feels as the head of the household the one morally responsible for decisions and that he should not go against his conscience. He has talked about how he has considered cutting off the internet (my biggest social outlet as a stuck at home extrovert) because of its corrupt influence on our values. He blames my access to it and me hanging out in worldly places as influencing my path towards deconversion. What it comes down to is that he sees me as choosing the path away from God, and my opinion on things is one influenced by the path of moral rebellion. He doesn't see my opinion as valid as his. I don't know how to navigate that.

 

Outside of that I can honestly say our marriage is a good one. This huge rocky place in the middle is being navigated as best we can because we have managed many things together, we still enjoy one another, we have ten years of our life together, our darling children, and we actually get along great for the daily stuff. We are trying to find more in common (he's teaching me how to do his online gaming with him). So neither of us wants to seperate, we just aren't sure how to navigate this union with our drastic differences on the deeper subjects. It's affected our emotional intimacy as he feels he cannot share his emotional stuff with me (most his emotional stuff is spiritual). I have had a hard time sharing my journey with him. Being free from Christianity has been an emotional and educational journey for me, and it's created distance.

 

So, that's a lot for me to get out. To strangers. I'm just rather desperate at this point for people who actually understand me. I am the only athiest surrounded by Christians. I don't know how to navigate my family life.

 

I have posted more of my questioning on my blog. Overall I'm so happy to find this place. Thanks for reading, this is the longest intro post I've ever written.

[boftx]

Your story illustrates the difference between becoming educated about what you believe as opposed to becoming indoctrinated in it. I would wager that many intelligent, rational people (both in and out of Christianity) come to the same conclusions you have.

 

I suggest that you find ways to explore some of the social ramifications of your husband's belief system with him. In particular, the inequality between men and women in general that he has been taught to support. That can lead to self-examination in other areas that might open the door to discussions about what "God" really is as opposed to what the "church" would have you believe.

[waitingongod]

"But now it has been eight years of endless cleaning (never to my husband's satisfaction, as he has oft complained)"

 

Are you f'ing kidding me?  My wife stays home with our daughter.  We have an understanding that her "job" is our daughter/home management.  Daughter comes first, always.  She does do the cleaning/laundry/etc., but I wouldn't dare complain about something not being done/not done right when being a full-time parent can be work enough.  If it bothers me that bad, I'll do it my damn self.  If she was simply sitting around all day doing nothing, that would be different, but I know she's not.

 

This kind of thing is pretty common, though, in conservative religious households.  I look at my parents, and family in general and there's some of that obligation by the women, to the point where they feel guilty if they "mess up".

[BlueBohemian]

Yeah, we have four children under the age of eight in a 1200 SF home (with one bathroom). Yes, it's very cluttered sometimes. Some days I have them pick up the stuff they drag out multiple times a day. But he seems to hold me accountable for the mess that all six people make. He's very type A. I've talked to him about having compassion, but he is very bothered by the mess and noise the children make.

[BlueBohemian]

He does help clean, quite a bit sometimes, sometimes not at all. He will clean something to completely clean and then get upset when I don't keep it completely clean all the time. He is a perfectionist.

[TrueFreedom]

I'm sorry that you're having such a hard time with your family, BB.  Hopefully your husband's overreaction will subside in time.  It's always devastating to loved ones when they hear of apostasy.  It was traumatic for my wife, but she eventually followed.  Most people never change their minds.  It must be difficult for you to deal with four young children and a perfectionist husband.  I hope that things improve for you soon!    *hugs*

[DrNo]

First of all, welcome. As another atheist married to a believer, I can relate to much of what you have written about. The deconversion process is heart-wrenching for believing loved ones. I have been able to come out to family and close friends, and just this week I removed "Christian" from the "Religious Views" part of my Facebook profile, but haven't been able to make myself add the "Agnostic Atheist" part yet. I think I am mostly tired of the debates and don't want to invite all of it. But I also hate disappointing people. So kudos to you for coming out of the atheist closet.

 

I also hate the whole aspect of knowing how my kids are being raised in a religious environment. Fortunately they are not going to a private school (I did as a kid), but I still worry that their church influence will prevent them from thinking on their own. On the other hand, I think that as I am open about my beliefs it will at least serve to prevent demonizing the atheist position and let them feel safe enough to explore it when they are ready.

 

Have you checked out any local atheist groups? That might be a good place to make some friends.

 

P.S. after checking out your blog, I really dig your musical taste.

[BlueBohemian]

Thanks for support everyone. I wrestled with coming out for a long time. My husband knew of my struggles for all those months, and I would share with him, we would debate, which was stressful. However, when I came out, I didn't tell him I was going to ahead of time. He was super upset by it (I posted it on my family blog, I have only shared the blog I linked here with a select handful of people) but I knew I had to be honest to all the people who knew me as a Christian. I was so open about being a Christian and made an effort to encourage other Christian parents on my family blog. I felt keeping it under wraps would be dishonest. However, knowing that people are looking at me like an outsider now, and the effects of that, has been rotten. I don't post atheist themed things on my facebook page. I don't want to debate people. Sometimes I feel like speaking up and saying, "Hey, even without Jesus, my life has plenty of meaning and happiness and I don't need God to be complete!" but as of now I don't know how to do it without it turning into me emoting all over the place and other people getting all upset. So I don't.

[mymistake]

Welcome BB.

 

Yeah it's a common problem.  There are many people who find themselves in the same boat.  It's caused by Christianity.

[buffettphan]

Hello and Welcome BB!

 

I'm also surrounded by christians and also in one of those "unequally yoked" marriages, so be assured you're not alone.  DH and I were both non-practicing catholics/agnostics when we began dating.   About a dozen years and two kids into our marriage, DH, thanks to the influence of some of his co-workers, became a born-againer.  (How a grown man can fall for that shit is beyond me, but that's a whole other story.)    By then, I was an atheist.  If you want to read any of the gory details, I have a little of my story written in my profile.   

 

We've been married 40 years now and most of the time we get along well.  But I'm not gonna lie to you -- there have been some rough times.  I still especially hate it every time he gives money to those sleazy con-artists churches and ministries and I always will!   

[BlueBohemian]

Hello and Welcome BB!

 

I'm also surrounded by christians and also in one of those "unequally yoked" marriages, so be assured you're not alone.  DH and I were both non-practicing catholics/agnostics when we began dating.   About a dozen years and two kids into our marriage, DH, thanks to the influence of some of his co-workers, became a born-againer.  (How a grown man can fall for that shit is beyond me, but that's a whole other story.)    By then, I was an atheist.  If you want to read any of the gory details, I have a little of my story written in my profile.   

 

We've been married 40 years now and most of the time we get along well.  But I'm not gonna lie to you -- there have been some rough times.  I still especially hate it every time he gives money to those sleazy con-artists churches and ministries and I always will!   

Quite a story in your profile!

(I like parrots too, do you really have a Hyacinth or are you just a fan? We had a Timneh grey for a while but she didn't like all the little kids and she was super lonely when we were all away from the house so now she lives in a home with another grey. But I miss her to bits, she was such a funny little dear!)

 

I am hoping that we can come to point of mutual respect too. There's a lot on the table to be decided.  There's so much in the Christian life of women submitting to men.  It seems in mixed marriages the man is the atheist and the woman stays a believer. I am glad we aren't the only ones. We're still pretty young, just under thirty. My husband is such a smart man. He is a computer programmer and he does all the computer work for his school. He has been so weighed down by the guilt of Christianity and has questioned himself. Everyone he has ever been around in his family, school, work, etc, has been Christians. Everyone in his life but me is a Christian. It's how he was raised and it impacts every part of his thought life. Part of me hopes he will come to reason enough to see how I made this conclusion, and perhaps be able to escape the guilt that has plagued him for years. It will be a much harder path for him, however.

[BlueBohemian]

Whoops, still no edit option, I meant to say, "It seems in most mixed marriages"

[seeker001]

Whoops, still no edit option, I meant to say, "It seems in most mixed marriages"

You'll get your edit button at 25 posts, but no worries. You've found a safe spot here, if you ever need to vent you'll have sympathetic ears here.  You are a brave women to be willing to come out of the closet and be honest about yourself.  

 

Do not let people push you into believing something your heart and mind tells you is not true, and do not let them make you feel stupid for your doubt. One of my math professors once said that doubt is a sign of intelligence; if something does not make sense look deeper. If you aren't having any doubt, than you probably aren't thinking it through deep enough. True the context was related to mathematics, but I find that statement to be true about other elements of life. 

 

I wish you the best of luck and you'll be in my thoughts 

[RipVanWinkle]

I've just read your OP, not the replies. I will read the replies later, but first I want to give you

my reaction and thoughts. I truly feel for you because I know what your going through. Gawd it's tough being the only atheist in a family. My wife of many years became a Xtian after we had been married for 20 years or so. I also was a christian but I have always been a curious person and I got very curious

about Xtian history. I always had questions about the faith because I wanted to be intellectually

honest. Christian history was the death knell of my faith. But my wife continues with the faith and

this conflict rears its ugly head from time to time. Our kids are grown, so that's less of a problem

for me than it must be for you.

 

My wife and I have made a pact so to speak not to discuss religion. That's been hard for me, rather

than for her. Since she knows I am not a believer, she does not want to argue about it. That's kind of

surprising in view the way many Xtians feel compelled to convert anyone and everyone. Thank gawd she

does not feel that way. This pact has worked pretty well. We both are committed to each other and, of

course, that's indispensable.

I hope this kind of arrangement would work for you and your husband. I am no expert nor do I think I somehow have THE answer, but I feel that you two may have a good chance if the following conditions

exist:

1. You are each committed to staying together for life.

2. You each promise to avoid any attempt to convert or deconvert the other, directly or indirectly, out of mutual respect.

3. You agree not to discuss each other's religious view with anyone. It's to be confidential.

4. Be at least somewhat flexible by participating in a few church activities with your husband if he

wants, with the agreement that it is purely for social purposes. This can make it a little easier on

your husband with his church friends. And it may reduce the chances of his attention being diverted to other females.(No disrespect to your husband intended, but since I don't know him I thought it might be worth mentioning.)

 

If he is in a fundamental church and catches that virus this pact will, in my opinion, not work. The

danger is that his views may get more and more rigid. I hope that is not the case. My wife's church is fairly liberal and is interested in serving the poor and needy. It is not like Pat Robertson's church

or the like who are more interested in their own growth and wealth than anything else. I think the type of church it is may make all the difference.

 

I wish you the best of luck and I hope the above is of some help. bill

[BlueBohemian]

Thanks, william7davis. Those are good boundaries. Do you have children and did you come to agreements about teaching them?

[Pantophobia]

This is so hard, BlueBohemian, especially because kids are involved. You are so concerned about them being raised/schooled within the confines of Christianity, which, as a parent, is well within your rights. But as we all well know, if you come out swinging against the bible and Jesus, it's ineffective. Instead, be the parent that teaches your child to think critically about (non-religious) things. Sidestep the bible stuff. Don't even *mention* it if you can help it! Instead, teach them to question what they read. Teach them to analyze poems or film. Teach them that there are millions of people with different experiences about things, and we can learn from them. Encourage them to travel. Take them to museums. Guide them toward the skills they will not only need to be fully functioning and responsible adults, but skills they can use to interrogate their beliefs on their own. 

 

All the best to you. 

[DrNo]

I agree with Pantophobia. My wife and I are still working out the specifics of how to raise the kids, but we have at least agreed that it is important to teach them to think critically. Then they will have a much better shot at seeing the contradictions within Christianity. You might check out the books "Parenting Beyond Belief" and "Raising Freethinkers" for help with critical thinking skills. Also Richard Dawkins just came out with a book/app for kids called "The Magic of Reality".

[DrNo]

Also, Annaka Harris (Sam Harris's wife) has a great kids book called "I Wonder" that is just a sweet story about being ok with saying "I don't know" without having to come up with fake answers.

[seeker001]

This is so hard, BlueBohemian, especially because kids are involved. You are so concerned about them being raised/schooled within the confines of Christianity, which, as a parent, is well within your rights. But as we all well know, if you come out swinging against the bible and Jesus, it's ineffective. Instead, be the parent that teaches your child to think critically about (non-religious) things. Sidestep the bible stuff. Don't even *mention* it if you can help it! Instead, teach them to question what they read. Teach them to analyze poems or film. Teach them that there are millions of people with different experiences about things, and we can learn from them. Encourage them to travel. Take them to museums. Guide them toward the skills they will not only need to be fully functioning and responsible adults, but skills they can use to interrogate their beliefs on their own. 

 

All the best to you. 

This and it can be the perfect bonding moment too. Let the child be the teacher and ask them about their favorite book/movie/tvshow/video game, not only will this show that you have an interest in their interest but you will also get them to think about what they enjoy. Ask them if there was another way the characters could have resolved the issue or have them explore the topic of "what if?"

 

What if Harry was sorted into Slytherin? How would that affect his relationships or world views?

What is the moral lesson of this story and is there another way the story could be interpretted?

What about Pearl from Spongebob? What does she do in her spare time? How does she percieve the events going on in Bikini Bottom? Everyone has to have their own story even if we don't see it in the show due to its focus.

 

It might be worth it to get the kids into fan fiction, not only will it encourage them to write but it will get them thinking of the topic in another way. Its a start towards critical thinking and evaluation. 

[Burny]

Stop reading my posts and telling my parents. This site is supposed to be confidential. You're a jerk and a jack ass whoever you are. Thanks also for hurting my folks. Good Christian actions. NOT.

[Cousin Ricky]

He has questioned God but his conclusion was that he was doing Christianity wrong and that's why he felt so utterly disconnected from God.

 

Yeah, Christianity does put a hold on you with that mental trick, doesn’t it. What a clever meme!

 

Also Richard Dawkins just came out with a book/app for kids called "The Magic of Reality".

 

Be sure to review that before giving it to your kids. The main thrust of the book is how we know what’s true, and as such, he compares scientific theories with mythologies. The story of Adam and Eve receives no special treatment, and is casually dropped right alongside Norse, Greek, and Hindu mythology where it belongs. Unless your husband reads the creation story allegorically, he will not tolerate having your children presented with a fair and balanced view of Adam and Eve.

[BlueBohemian]

Thanks everyone. Last night I read through Why Doesn't God Heal Amputees? and was pretty struck by how well it summed up the things that made me uncomfortable with the Bible and Christianity.

 

My husband and I have been able to have some good conversations the last few days, where we were able to discuss information like evolution and the flood and prayer. It didn't get either of us stressed out. He's been very quiet and withdrawn. He is open to evolution.

 

So, if anybody has any good sceintific sites that explain evolution/dna and the lack of a flood I would greatly appreciate it. He is open to learning, it's just hard to have link wars when neither one of us have a big background in science.

[boftx]

There is no real contradiction between the Big Bang and "God" saying "let there be light" for many people. It is when people wish to take the Bible as being literally word-for-word true that insurmountable issues arise.

[DrNo]

So, if anybody has any good sceintific sites that explain evolution/dna and the lack of a flood I would greatly appreciate it. He is open to learning, it's just hard to have link wars when neither one of us have a big background in science.

 

http://www.christianitydisproved.com/ is a great site that provides tons of links to videos and other information on just about every issue with evangelical Christianity you can think of. I'd start there and then share the relevant links with your husband.

[RipVanWinkle]

BlueBohemian: I have children, but they are all adults. So I didn't have to deal with the education

issue. Are your children school age?