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Another Rant


kolaida
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Since we need new topics (that aren't political, I guess) and since I tend to rant about my life sometimes (and I hope it's not annoying), I figured I'd post this here. 

 

So, as some of you probably remember, I recently got a roommate a few months ago. Financial situation has improved and will get a car this week if not today/tomorrow. (depending on when roommate decides to give me her half of rent). That being said, I recently had a serious OCD trigger and I believe it IS my roommate's fault as I never had this problem before and this is super horrible and embarrassing for me to say and I've barely been able to eat for almost a whole week now because it's been bothering and upsetting me so much and it's bed bugs. I really just almost cried typing it. I'm so embarrassed I couldn't even tell my best friend for like three days. 

 

I discovered three in my bed about a week ago and one more when I used Raid Max on the mattress and box spring afterwards. I've been inspecting to see if maybe I had an infestation and didn't know it.  Even though I have OCD, it's been pretty dormant for the past few years so I haven't been like super clean (but not like a slob either. Yeah, sometimes there are dirty clothes on my floor, but it takes like ten minutes to clean up if that). And I thought maybe I wasn't washing the sheets enough. I wasn't doing it weekly and I guess I will be now for sure (I actually threw out the sheets anyway).  I've gone through and washed and dried ALL my clothes (high heat for well over an hour).  I've been on the couch for awhile now. I don't if I CAN sleep in that bed again before I get encasements for both the mattress and boxspring (and I have to get a car first). I also have unscrewed the outlets to see if maybe there were a pile of bugs or something and I have not seen any signs of an ongoing, severe infestation.  

 

My name is on the lease and I paid the security deposit; I lived here almost a full year and never had this problem. My roommate doesn't really seem to care and I don't think has even checked her room although I'm sure she is the reason. She was a flight attendant and staying at hotels (I guess an awful roommate really, but I thought it'd be better because she was gone so many days at a time. Luggage is apparently super popular for the critters).  But getting an exterminator costs upwards of $1000.  I'm frustrated, though because all the work I've been doing is going to be pretty pointless if there IS an infestation in her room. I've been vacuuming and washing and inspecting everything like crazy. 

 

My kitten is upset because I've blocked off my room and usually he hangs out in there and looks out the window. My roommate thinks I'm overreacting but it can be a REALLY, REALLY serious and disgusting problem if not handled right away. And I don't want bugs everywhere in the apartment or have to pay thousands of dollars for extermination or lose my security deposit (which I probably have, but since I plan to live here for several years I'm not too worried about it. But I want to be able to LIVE here without constantly worrying about bed bugs). 

 

My roommate was also recently fired from her job for doing something stupid so now she has no job. And I want to be sympathetic and am, but it IS her fault she got fired and I am not happy that she is not really helping or even concerned that she might have brought bed bugs into the apartment. How could you not care about that? 

 

I hope none of you think I'm gross and disgusting; I'm really not. I'm really, really trying to make sure this doesn't get out of hand because I hate, hate bugs. I have seriously had trouble eating and have not had this much trouble eating due to OCD symptoms in about four years. I keep cleaning and washing and all I can think is how much stuff she has in her room and how she hasn't even taken the sheets off to check her mattress. It makes me feel physically ill. 

 

Hopefully, I'll be getting some diatomaceous earth food grade today to spread around the house and kill and prevent anymore if there are any more. So, yeah, please don't think less of me, advice would be great, and I'm really frustrated. 

 

 

Edit: She also keeps bringing random guys over that could be the cause. I lived here for almost a full year before her and had a total of three guys over (only two did I do anything with).  In like three months, she's had like six guys in and out; she hasn't done anything with them that I know of, but like these are random men and I don't appreciate it!!  

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If I were in your situation, I would not feel any sympathy for your roommate whatsoever and there is nothing wrong with being worried about a bed bug infestation. Of course, if you have yet to find evidence of a full-blown infestation and not just a few that managed to stow away in something to find their way to your bed, then there probably isn't one. All I can say is you're probably a stronger person than I am by not doing everything in your power to get this roommate of yours to GTFO.

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If I were in your situation, I would not feel any sympathy for your roommate whatsoever and there is nothing wrong with being worried about a bed bug infestation. Of course, if you have yet to find evidence of a full-blown infestation and not just a few that managed to stow away in something to find their way to your bed, then there probably isn't one. All I can say is you're probably a stronger person than I am by not doing everything in your power to get this roommate of yours to GTFO.

 

Thanks!! That does make me feel better. I really haven't found anything that would make me think it's a full blown infestation. I wanted to check all in my room before blaming her just on the chance that maybe I hadn't really noticed and they'd been here all along. But I haven't found any signs except for the ones that initially scared the crap out of me. But I haven't checked her room and there is SO MUCH STUFF in her room. My room is just a bed and nightstand and them mostly clothes in the closet and shoes. She had decorations galore, shelves, chairs, etc. 

 

I DO feel bad for her, though. She has been through a lot and I know sometimes people just make stupid decisions; I know I have in the past and sometimes the consequences really, REALLY suck. And that is the case with her and I KNOW if it weren't for this bed bug thing (and the car thing to boot), I'd probably be more sympathetic. The car thing, yesterday I asked if we could go to the hardware store to get some of the DE and she asked when I was getting my car, she thought it was this weekend. I wanted to be like, "Give me your half of the rent already and I can call the lady and GET the car. Plus what's one or two more days now anyway? Our bank is only open for so long on Sunday, no other bank is and we DO have to get a notary done.  I'm a little more concerned about freaking bedbugs right now, anyway."   Like, I don't want to turn into a self-absorbed person, either, you know? 

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If I were in your situation, I would not feel any sympathy for your roommate whatsoever and there is nothing wrong with being worried about a bed bug infestation. Of course, if you have yet to find evidence of a full-blown infestation and not just a few that managed to stow away in something to find their way to your bed, then there probably isn't one. All I can say is you're probably a stronger person than I am by not doing everything in your power to get this roommate of yours to GTFO.

 

Thanks!! That does make me feel better. I really haven't found anything that would make me think it's a full blown infestation. I wanted to check all in my room before blaming her just on the chance that maybe I hadn't really noticed and they'd been here all along. But I haven't found any signs except for the ones that initially scared the crap out of me. But I haven't checked her room and there is SO MUCH STUFF in her room. My room is just a bed and nightstand and them mostly clothes in the closet and shoes. She had decorations galore, shelves, chairs, etc. 

 

I DO feel bad for her, though. She has been through a lot and I know sometimes people just make stupid decisions; I know I have in the past and sometimes the consequences really, REALLY suck. And that is the case with her and I KNOW if it weren't for this bed bug thing (and the car thing to boot), I'd probably be more sympathetic. The car thing, yesterday I asked if we could go to the hardware store to get some of the DE and she asked when I was getting my car, she thought it was this weekend. I wanted to be like, "Give me your half of the rent already and I can call the lady and GET the car. Plus what's one or two more days now anyway? Our bank is only open for so long on Sunday, no other bank is and we DO have to get a notary done.  I'm a little more concerned about freaking bedbugs right now, anyway."   Like, I don't want to turn into a self-absorbed person, either, you know? 

 

 

Maybe if I understood the situation your roommate was in, I might actually be able to feel sympathy. Though I don't have OCD (as far as I know) I do have problems of my own that make it really difficult to feel sympathy or empathy for some people, especially when something terrible happens that is their fault, even if it was a mistake that they regret and would not have done, had it not been for a temporary lapse in judgment.

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Now, there's ANOTHER guy here. Yeah, that's lovely. Because she hasn't paid rent or even checked her room and was supposed to give me a ride to the store so I could buy some f*cking diatomaceous earth. 

 

 

I'm REALLY, REALLY close to snapping but I don't want to because she hasn't paid her rent yet and I don't want to lose out on a car.  And, for some bizarre reasons, guys seem really INTO her (what a bunch of idiots- as she's still having sex with her supposed ex) and I don't want this current guy to offer her a place to stay because I snap at her. I think once I get, I'm going to tell her at the end of the month she has to move out. I understand she's paying rent and I don't MIND people having people over but not guys like every day. That's not cool at all. 

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Kolaida, that is a really tough situation. I am not surprised the OCD is flaring up again, with all that stress. You are a very kid, compassionate person so I can understand you don't want to make your flat-mates life any more difficult at present but it seems she is not so much the considerate type. I doubt she has given the slightest thought to your plight and her possible contribution to it. As you have a lease there for another year you want to reduce the stress at home as much as possible. Is it possible for you to be a little selfish for a while and make sure your needs are met (car, clean place to sleep)? Of course you don't want to aggravate her but since she has no concern for your well-being, and will unlikely take any advice or help you offer and use it for her good (I am guessing) she will probably keep stepping on your toes obliviously. I could be reading your situation completely wrong but I get the impression she is one of those people who's life is a constant train-wreck and despite many people offering some solid assistance, refuses to change a thing. Take care of yourself. Hope you can find something to calm you down so your eating and sleeping can go back to normal, and a resolution to the bed bug/car issues. That is what you should focus on in the short term as you NEED food and sleep to keep you healthy. It is amazing how quick things can fall apart mentally if you lack those two things. 

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I cannot offer advice but bugs climb walls and get through the tiniest gaps in windows etc. Not even sure your bed bugs are like ours but not to freak you out, there are bugs in your bed that are microscopic and feed off dead skin cells you shed. They look gross under a microscope but will appear as dust specks in the sunbeams. You have bacteria living inside you and they are needed for your digestive system.

 

The only bugs that can possibly harm you are ticks but all in all, these other bugs will not kill you.

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Well, we FINALLY checked her room. I don't know if she secretly read it or not. I always get paranoid, like DO THEY KNOW I'M RANTING ABOUT THEM!?  But I try to not make it super obvious.  I feel bad because there are GOOD things, too. I'd just rather vent the bad things online than AT her. We didn't check her closet, though and the cats sometimes hang out in there and there's a TON of stuff in there!!!! 

 

 We didn't SEE anything, but I don't know.   This really great couple brought me to the hardware store (thank god for the gays that love to shop, lol!) and I was able to buy some Diatomaceous Earth (Food Grade) and spread it around the baseboards and the boxsprings and other areas.  It now looks like there is cocaine dusted throughout our apartment.  I also spoke with my Mom and she told me I needed to calm down a bit and just go buy a plastic protector from Target and that should suffocate any that might be left in the mattress (If there's any. I've Raid Maxxed it, spread diatomaceous Earth and vacuumed it several times. Hell, I hope it's OKAY for me to sleep on it, LOL, good thing I have this cover now!)  And to get pillowcase protectors and just see what happens.  I'll probably start putting my clothes back too (there are all in plastic bags).  

 

I unscrewed the outlets (or one, I forgot there's two in my room) but didn't see a pile of bed bugs. I forgot to throw some DE in there just in case, though. I'm so tired. The couch has not been giving me good sleep and I'm so tired. 

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