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I've Written A General Poll, Did It Post?


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Hrm, I'll have to think about this. It won't let me post a reply without having an answer for all of them. I'd definitely say it's a love-hate relationship, but what else do you expect from a large, lightly moderated, group of diverse people?

 

There are certainly times I come here for support and receive it, but it is a mistake to extend the warm fuzzy feelings to all sections and threads on here. Some days I make the mistake of following a thread where people say things that really upset me, and I spend the next few hours trying to calm down and not cry and dumping my misery on my real life friends who are willing to put up with calming me down. I'm a fairly non-confrontational person; I enjoy intelligent friendly debates, but when people start screaming and the personal attacks start (doesn't even have to be directed at me), it can mess me up pretty bad. I've had enough of that from my disfunctional family; I don't need to deal with that shit from adults I've been stupid enough to have positive feelings towards and think of as trustworthy.

 

Thing is, this is NOT a safe place. Yeah, certain subforums are, and that's good and important. But other areas aren't, and shouldn't be. Other people shouldn't have to tone down their mud slinging too much just because I'm delicate. (But some threads that started out interesting devolve into pissing matches or people demanding attention for their pet obsessions, and that's disappointing.) And the quality of comments here are way higher than on the rest of the internet - ya'll are way better than youtube even on your bad days. It's also nice that we have a wide enough variety of viewpoints here, held by intelligent people, that good debates are possible. Too many special-interest sites attract people who already agree with them, and the only detractors are trolls, so you get us-vs-them fights instead of honest debates.

 

I just try to remind myself that this is like a giant party, full of all sorts of people. Some of them I'll get along with better than others. The main difference here is that, in a physical gathering of people, you and the people you like can physically move to a specific location together to get away from an obnoxious person, and continue your conversation in relative peace. Here, everyone's around for everything, whether you want to deal with them or not - you can't even move to a different thread to get away, becuase they can comment there too! But that's just how the internet works, and the positives in generally outweight the negatives. Which is why I keep coming here despite the occasional annoyances.

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For me it's kind of more like a voyeuristic curiosity than a support group. I enjoy hearing other people's experiences in adjusting to a post-xian life like I had to and reading about situations I might have faced but didn't. I usually don't come here for help and I avoid giving advice on things I don't have firsthand experience with. But I do help when I have something to say and it's good to know I have a place to vent if I need it.

 

YMMV, but this is one of the more peaceful message boards I've been on. I think people try to be more careful here because it's a special place, but we also discuss personal/heavy topics and have a variety of personalities/situations in life, so there's going to be flareups.

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It was my first try at a poll.  I could try it again after a while, once this one is field tested a bit more.  Do all polls make you answer all of the questions?

 

I suppose it would help if I answered the questions once.

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Yup, every time I leave this site I curl up in a little ball sobbing to myself :(

 

Really though, I've found this place really helpful and and a great comfort since loosing my faith. There are some discussions here where some of the attitudes just baffle me more often than some of the other forums I frequent, but hey if I needed to stay in the midst of people who thought the same things as me I'd have stayed a Christian :D

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In the beginning I used to get bent out of shape a lot, but now I have learned how to handle the rough and tumble. It is part of my deconversion learning that people are not who I thought they were, and ex-c has helped me with that a lot.

 

Helps me maintain the shades of grey I have so much trouble seeing smile.png

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I wasn't sure how to answer some of the questions. Do I love it or hate it? Am I neutral? *Shrug* It's home and one doesn't exactly feel neutral about home but neither do I feel the exuberant intense "love it" I did when first here. I've been here so long. Comfortable would be more like it. It's a place I can go to to see people and participate in interesting chit-chat if I wish, or just lurk, or take on heavier stuff if something comes up. The faces change and I've had serious problems early on. It's good to see that I'm not the only one. But as I got more settled in my new life, etc., I got more settled at exC, too. Also, I'm not here every day all the time. Sometimes months go by but right now I'm here nearly every day for a little bit.

 

Over all I think it's a good poll.

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