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Well Here's My Story....


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Hey all, I've kinda been lurking around this forum for the better part of a year. I'm glad to say i found a lot of encouraging material. I'm glad to finally introduce myself. Anyway, my name's CJ, i'm 18 years old, and I've been raised Christian for all my life. Not normal, moderate Christian, but full on fundy Calvinism Christian. I've been homeschooled for my whole life. I've lived in an incredibly isolated environment, free from the influence of the outside world. I happen to be an only child, so my parents see me as their only shot at carrying on their faith. My parents weren't always this way; from what i know, they both became Christians around their 20's. Gradually, they became more radical. When i was born, they were convinced that they should homeschool me. Even though my few relatives tried to talk them out of it, they, of course didn't listen. They were in an ultra-conservative Baptist Church. I've been attending church every Sunday since i was a baby.  Well, needless to say, my childhood was really lonely and i dont remember much of it. I did have a few friends, and i had some good times. My parents kept me under the closest tabs possible, but you don't want to hear all my sob stories :P.One thing i vividly remember was developing OCD. I lived in the hell that it creates for a few years; too afraid to tell anyone. I was actually blissfully ignorant of what i was going through for a good amount of my childhood. Around the time i was hitting my teens, the parents changed churches, and informed me that they were now Calvinists. I suppose this was maybe the first time the tiniest seeds of doubt were sowed in my young, damaged mind. I knew something wasn't quite right. I was told that Calvinism was the true doctrine, that Arminianism was a perversion of the scriptures. Of course i didnt understand, because there were plenty of verses that seemed to fit both doctrines.  Anyhow, this Church was one of the Quiverfull " fuck your wife til she bleeds and have as many kids as possible" kind of churches. I still strongly believed during this time, but i realized that these people were pretty radical, and i really didnt want to be around them. After about 2 years, the church broke up. I was relieved to be out if it. So we switched churches again, by this time i was just turning 16. This was when i really started to think for myself. I spent the next 2 years getting where i am today. A proud, confident Athiest :). My faith didn't exactly die easily, but once i saw the overwhelming evidence against creation, a young earth, the inerrancy of the Bible and all the other lies, it wasn't hard to deconvert. It was reallly liberating, it all seemed almost too good to be true :). I no longer had to believe almost everyone i met was going to burn in hell for all eternity. I could accept people for who they really were without trying change them .Anyhow, this brings me to the second  part of my story. Once i decided i no longer believed, I was of course, afraid that my parents might find out. I hid my beliefs for as long as possible, but through a series of events that i wont go into. They sat me down, and forced me into telling them. My mom flipped out and cried and screamed at me, my dad was a little more calm. I tried my best to explain to them why i no longer accepted their religion as fact. It only ended in my mom hurling as many accusations as possible. I knew it would happen, i was half expecting them to kick me out. Fortunately, we came to an agreement, i'm really hoping it lasts.....but i cant be sure. In summary, my head is up, i know that things will only get better for me from here. I've got my whole life ahead of me, so i try to just lay the past to rest. Thanks for listening to my story guys, I look forward to meeting you all. :D

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Welcome ITD!

 

You're so very lucky to have escaped Christianity while you are still so young, and although I know it was traumatic to tell your parents - at least you don't have to  hide it anymore.

 

I also felt a great amount of liberation once I ditched Christianity and fully embraced atheism.  I am still amazed that I bought into all of the lies for so long.

 

Thanks for sharing your story!

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What's up, Doc?  It's nice to meet you!  Be thankful that you got over religion at such a young age.  Hopefully your parents will still be supportive until you are able to get out on your own and live up to your own goals.

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Welcome, Doc. As others have said, be glad you faced reality at such a young age.

 

I think Calvinism is one of the worst Christian doctrines ever invented (and they are all bad). That whole business of only the elect go to heaven is totally perverted. That means, in pure Calvinism, that if one is not one of the elect, no matter how good of a person they are, they are destined for hell. How sick that concept is. The worst part is that there are Biblical passages that supporet such cruelty. Of course, there are scriptures that support Armenianism also. The bottom line, as you have come to realize, is that the Bible can be whatever any Christian wants it to be, thus some 30,000 denominations, each declaring that they are correct and the others are wrong.

 

Welcome to ExC!

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Hi, CJ, from a former believer in the Arminian perversion of Scripture. :) Glad you got out so young. And yes, the Bible is quite full of contradictions. Finding problems with the Bible is what led me out of faith also. Hope you enjoy your time here.

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Welcome, Doc. As others have said, be glad you faced reality at such a young age.

 

I think Calvinism is one of the worst Christian doctrines ever invented (and they are all bad). That whole business of only the elect go to heaven is totally perverted. That means, in pure Calvinism, that if one is not one of the elect, no matter how good of a person they are, they are destined for hell. How sick that concept is. The worst part is that there are Biblical passages that supporet such cruelty. Of course, there are scriptures that support Armenianism also. The bottom line, as you have come to realize, is that the Bible can be whatever any Christian wants it to be, thus some 30,000 denominations, each declaring that they are correct and the others are wrong.

 

Welcome to ExC!

I couldn't agree with you more, Calvinism is a complete perversion of even basic moral standards...disgusting to say the least.

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Hi CJ!! 

 

Welcome to Ex-C!  

 

Like others have mentioned, I am also glad you got out of Christianity early.  I am not too familiar with Calvinism, but I am aware they have a pretty strict doctrine. It's also good to hear that your parents are at least letting you stay there for the time being and it hopefully isn't too awkward for you. I hope it keeps going well in that area for sure. Also, seems like quite a few of us here have OCD. OCD and religion definitely do not mix well.  Welcome again and I hope we get to see you around in the forums!! 

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I'm dealing with OCD right now and it's terrible.

 

I converted when I was 16-17. I'm 19 and I de-converted last month. I was never raised a Christian and I can't imagine how hard it is to come clean when you are.

 

And welcome to the forums.

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I'm dealing with OCD right now and it's terrible.

 

I converted when I was 16-17. I'm 19 and I de-converted last month. I was never raised a Christian and I can't imagine how hard it is to come clean when you are.

 

And welcome to the forums.

Bro i know exactly what you're going through. OCD still plauges me daily. Though i have got it under control. The best way to counter it i've found, is to let go. As weird as it sounds, you have to just let the thoughts come unhindered. Just let them circlulate through your mind endlessly, dont fight . OCD is circular thinking, so the more you resist, the more you trap yourself in your own head. They run their course. Just because horrible or perverted thoughts are running through your head doesnt mean you have any desire to carry them out in action, contrary to what Christianity teaches.  Believe me, i've been there in the mental hell of it and it fucking sucks to say the least. Best wishes man :)

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I grew up Calvinist as well.  All the rigid rules and catastrophic thinking definitely does lead to anxiety and depression.  I used to live my life as if I was walking on eggshells with the sword of Damocles hanging over my head (to mix metaphors).  Gradually after leaving Christianity and giving up thoughts about "objective morality" have I come to true emotional health.  I still have a few funny things I do in order to manage anxiety.  However, these days I am not sure that I care to get rid of my perverted thoughts.

 

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Hi Doctor.  I wasn't raised Christian, but when I was one I was Calvinist as well.  I think my brand of Calvinism was a bit more tolerable than yours, I was part of a church that Christianity Today magazine would describe as "New Reformed," i.e. people who believe in the doctrines of Calvinism but adhere to the evangelial ideology of engaging the rest of the culture so as to convert people.  So I interacted with non-Christians while believing that they were nonetheless going to hell (which is quite difficult when you weren't raised Christian!).

 

Glad to hear your parents had a relatively mild response.  My parents were of course happy when I de-converted from Christianity, but I can only imagine how difficult it is for people who were raised in the faith.

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So glad you have gotten out at your age, Doctor.  It almost makes me laugh how the differences between Arminianism and Calvinism got your developing mind going.  And I well remember how liberating it was for me, too, when I could stop thinking/worrying that everyone I met might be going to hell. 

 

Are you off to college in the fall or...?

 

Stick around here.  Welcome.

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Welcome to the club!!  Sorry your mom flipped out on you.  That's horrible.  Hopefully things continue to work themselves out in the future and maybe even your doubt and your reason can influence them along the path of truth as well.  :)

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Interesting testimony.  Thanks for sharing.  Glad that you found this website.  Good to hear you came out of Christianity in one piece.  Just want to wish you a big warm welcome.  smile.png

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Great to have another New Englander join our gang.   I am in the Providence RI area.   You are to be commended for coming to this decision at such a young age and not waiting until age 56 like I did.

Go get yourself a great life now!   Enjoy!

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Stop reading my posts and telling my parents. This site is supposed to be confidential. You're a jerk and a jack ass whoever you are. Thanks also for hurting my folks. Good Christian actions. NOT.

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So glad you have gotten out at your age, Doctor.  It almost makes me laugh how the differences between Arminianism and Calvinism got your developing mind going.  And I well remember how liberating it was for me, too, when I could stop thinking/worrying that everyone I met might be going to hell. 

 

Are you off to college in the fall or...?

 

Stick around here.  Welcome.

yes i am actually, providing things stay the way they are at home. I'm going to go for computer support technology, and becoming  an IT or something like one. :)

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Welcome to another ex-Calvinist. I was also one of those 'creatures' born into that awful religion. My whole family is still in it. Be thankful - you got out 20 years ahead of me! Think about how much $$$ and time you've saved yourself, not to mention mental gymnastics and all that CRAP. smile.png

 

You'll find we're a pretty good bunch here.

Dude, i'm sooo glad i was able to reason my way out early. I'm currently watching my  few friends going off in their delusion, fucking sucks. :( I'd do anything to try and help them see......but it's not worth even trying. They'll just blow me off...... :(

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Great to have another New Englander join our gang.   I am in the Providence RI area.   You are to be commended for coming to this decision at such a young age and not waiting until age 56 like I did.

 

Go get yourself a great life now!   Enjoy!

New England represent!! haha, i'm trying my best to piece it together.  Best wishes!

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Interesting testimony.  Thanks for sharing.  Glad that you found this website.  Good to hear you came out of Christianity in one piece.  Just want to wish you a big warm welcome.  smile.png

thanks man! i appreciate it :D

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Thanks for all the replies everyone! To clarify a few things, my parents do try to evangelize people. They're not the Hyper Calvinist breed. They even converted one of our neighbors.....which really pains me lol. Also, i was fully expecting them to either kick me out or make the rules so tight i had to leave. It pleasantly shocked me when they decided to be reasonable lol

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Welcome, ItsTehDoctor!

I know it sucks that your friends don't see what they're stuck in, but some things people have to come to on their own, or they just can't comprehend it. I'm so glad your parents were fairly reasonable about things. I hope you'll be able to keep your friends, too...

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