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Former Pentecostal, Father's Theology Scares Me


zeldarocks
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I'm going to cut straight to the chase, my father subscribes to Word Faith theology, believing that Faith is the "currency" of Heaven. He believes that we are in the End Times, and that God is using our current situation (we are living paycheck to paycheck in a trailer at the moment) to prepare him for times to come, he is also claiming now that God filled our Gas tank yesterday by giving dad money on one of his cards that had a negative balance, claiming that he looked at the balance afterwards, and it was still in the negative. His whole Pentecostal/charismatic theology kind of makes sense in my opinion, and his claims of miraculous instances perturbed me. There's also the matter that I am Bisexual, which my dad believes is a sin, he's claiming that the only thing keeping me alive is his and my mom's prayers, that Satan wants to take me out, and that God is going to take me through hell on earth if that's what it takes to bring me back to Him. Basically, his words and his experiences are perturbing to me, I'm trying to rid myself of my Christianity, but cannot due to my father's continued influence.

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First and most importantly, gamer nerd, there is nothing wrong, sinful or bad about your bisexuality, okay? You are who and what ever you are, and that is not a sin. 

 

Do you mind if I ask how old you are? 

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I'm going to cut straight to the chase, my father subscribes to Word Faith theology, believing that Faith is the "currency" of Heaven. He believes that we are in the End Times, and that God is using our current situation (we are living paycheck to paycheck in a trailer at the moment) to prepare him for times to come, he is also claiming now that God filled our Gas tank yesterday by giving dad money on one of his cards that had a negative balance, claiming that he looked at the balance afterwards, and it was still in the negative. His whole Pentecostal/charismatic theology kind of makes sense in my opinion, and his claims of miraculous instances perturbed me. There's also the matter that I am Bisexual, which my dad believes is a sin, he's claiming that the only thing keeping me alive is his and my mom's prayers, that Satan wants to take me out, and that God is going to take me through hell on earth if that's what it takes to bring me back to Him. Basically, his words and his experiences are perturbing to me, I'm trying to rid myself of my Christianity, but cannot due to my father's continued influence.

 

God is going to take you through hell on Earth because...he loves you so much! :-)

 

I used to be able to use a debit card at a pump at a Chevron station as long as we had a dollar balance and we could pump $60 worth of gas which would of course make us go negative balance after that. :-)

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Well, someone is going to pay for that gas, and I'll lay odds it isn't god.

 

Nobody will be critical of your sexual orientation here. Welcome to ex-c.

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The money will be probably charged in a few day and your dad will definitely not tell you about it when it happens.

I think this is not a healthy environment for you. If you are old enough and have enough money/a job, move out. It is not easy to reject the beliefs of your parents especially if they are that sure about it, but you have to think for yourself and don't let them make you feel guilty about anything.

 

the matter that I am Bisexual, which my dad believes is a sin, he's claiming that the only thing keeping me alive is his and my mom's prayers,

That sounds crazy, even for a fundi. There are billion people alive that do not pray, belief or even hate god. We are not in OT where god kills the ones that he doesn't like.

 

Maybe the best way for you is to dig into your fathers views and do some research. Look at the contradiction in the bible and in his theology. 

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To answer the first question, I am 20, going to university, but don't yet have a job. I should also mention that I have psychiatric problems, had a nervous breakdown about 9 months ago. Had I remained in church when it all happened, it would have no doubt been attributed to demonic oppression. It was probably because of my mom that I got the help I needed, dad is an extremist who believes drugs just mask a deeper spiritual problem.

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My family spent my entire teenage years in a church that taught exactly what your dad believes. It was crazy-making, and it took me years to detox. But you're getting out young, which is a good thing. Try to find a support system outside the church. Post here if you need to vent. We are here for you. :)

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that is tough. Glad you are going to school at least that will give you time out of his house. Do you stay at home while your in school or stay at a dorm? If you stay in a dorm try and find a job part time  that can turn full time during your off time and stay near your school.

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He also performed an exorcism on me, completely consensual please understand, but nevertheless traumatized me. He said that one of the demons was a "strongarm" bound to the other demons.

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To answer the first question, I am 20, going to university, but don't yet have a job. I should also mention that I have psychiatric problems, had a nervous breakdown about 9 months ago. Had I remained in church when it all happened, it would have no doubt been attributed to demonic oppression. It was probably because of my mom that I got the help I needed, dad is an extremist who believes drugs just mask a deeper spiritual problem.

 

Seconding what BendyLine said. 

 

You are not possessed by demons. You are not bad. Your developing brain is struggling with processing things (and your father's shithouse rat crazy beliefs are only making it worse by reinforcing the unhealthy stuff). Depression, nervous breakdowns, and other manifestations of anxiety are all quite common not only during this point of young adulthood (see that aforementioned brain development thing), but with deconversion as well. Living in a home with that sort of crazy fundy logic is enough to give anyone some serious mental trauma. 

 

What resources are available through your university? Is there a crisis center where you can talk to people? An LGBT organization for support? We are here for you online, but you need some face-to-face interaction, too, zeldarocks. Normally I wouldn't say something this extreme myself, but I'm going to encourage you not to seek help from your dad, because he is not seeing you and your needs: he's seeing "demons" and other unhealthy stuff promoted by his church. His theology scares you because it should. It's not about addressing real people and their needs, it's about backing up this idea that "God" would create us bad and damaged and then blame us for it and punish us endlessly for what we can't fix. And what kind of twisted "love" is that?

 

Things like "psychiatric issues" and "bisexuality" are NOT sins, bad qualities, punishment, or any sort of proof that you are not a person worthy of love or happiness, okay? 

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First off I like your username zeldarocks. I am a huge Nintendo nerd.

 

I live with my still Pentecostal wife. We she starts sugesting crazy things I point out all the failures of god in our lives. All the false "words". All the times people weren't healed. Things like that.

 

It shuts her up about god for days.

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Can you afford a non-christian psychologist? If so, you should follow up with that, in my opinion. I find myself recommending psychologists quite often, but it's not because I think they are so good. I don't. But they are one hell of a lot better than pastors.

There are good psychologists, but you have to do your homework to find them.

 

I also think you ought to finish your education (but not at a christian college) and get out  of your parents house as soon as possible. I have inferred that you are now living with them. You are now at an age when you need to begin separating yourself, both emotionally and financially from your parents. Don't  be dependent upon them. That just increases your addiction to Xtianity. You

are old enough to at least begin getting used to directing your own life and let your parents' approval fall where it may. Seriously,

this is indispensable to becoming your own person, independent of  parents, religion and everything else that you don't personally chose for yourself. And good luck. bill

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Hey, I feel for you.

To be honest your dad sounds manic/psychotic.

You say you had some psychological problems.

Do you think he could have to?

 

His doktrine seems confused, where did he get it from?

I'm a former pentecostal and I don't recognize it.

Although there are many branches, hard to keep track.

 

What about yor mom? Is she the same way? Does she

think that his behaviour is normal?

 

Hang in there, this will pass sometime too.

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Hey, I feel for you.

To be honest your dad sounds manic/psychotic.

You say you had some psychological problems.

Do you think he could have to?

His doktrine seems confused, where did he get it from?

I'm a former pentecostal and I don't recognize it.

Although there are many branches, hard to keep track.

What about yor mom? Is she the same way? Does she

think that his behaviour is normal?

Hang in there, this will pass sometime too.

He subscribes to Pentecostal/charismatic doctrine, Assemblies of God to be precise. I'm not his biological child, he's my step-dad. He listens to some less well-known charismatic types as well, somewhat of a conspiracy theorist from what I can tell. My mom agrees with me that my dad is an extremist.

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He also performed an exorcism on me, completely consensual please understand, but nevertheless traumatized me. He said that one of the demons was a "strongarm" bound to the other demons.

 

I hope next time you won't consent.  Your dad is a lunatic.  No offense, but he is probably causing some of your problems.

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... he is also claiming now that God filled our Gas tank yesterday by giving dad money on one of his cards that had a negative balance, claiming that he looked at the balance afterwards, and it was still in the negative.

 

Ask him to check his bank statement next month. I'll bet there will be a huge overdraft charge.

 

No act of god here. Some banks will let you withdraw with a negative balance, but will sock you with a huge fee for the privilege. In the USA, the banks were forced to stop doing that unless you opt in. If you live in the USA, perhaps your dad signed something and forgot, or perhaps didn't pay attention to or understand what he was signing.

 

Or ask him to call the bank on Monday. If he remains in the negative, he'll be hit with the fee every time he uses the card.

 


 

P.S. I once inadvertently drained my life savings because my checking account went into the negative, and the bank silently replenished it with my savings. (This was after my depression diagnosis, the first symptom of which was a sudden inability to balance a check book.) You gotta be careful!

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he's claiming that... God is going to take me through hell on earth if that's what it takes to bring me back to Him.

 

Sounds to me like it's your dad who's taking you through hell on earth. He needs help more than you do. Yes, you could definitely benefit from help dealing with the fallout of his lunacy, but he needs help for being flat out bat shit crazy. Thankfully one day soon you will be out from under his umbrella and can move on with healthy and uplifting relationships as far from him as you care to go. I see an end in sight for your turmoil, but not for his. Dreadful.

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