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How To Tell Friends & Family?


pops
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I've been exploring my own understanding and beliefs for a while but it's all come to a head in the last couple of weeks of intense study.

Now I am coming up to regular meet ups with christian friends and it's going to be an awkward situation to let them know where I am spiritually.

I don't want to lie, nor do I want to whack the hornets nest.

I'm sad at the thought of losing friends, not that I think they would actively reject me, but I fear they will be different towards me and maybe feel less comfortable with me.

My parents are non Christian and I am so shamed by how i have behaved in the past, insisting that they listen to me parroting the gibberish i had been taught.

I'm just plain embarrassed to talk to them about this new development!

 

Any advice from those who have faced these predicaments?

Thanks xxx

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When I left Christianity, I left my Church and all my old Christian friends behind. I felt no need or reason to justify myself to them. Your parents will be happy to know that you've come to your senses.

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Thankyou, sad that I feel so much anxiety. I would hope that a friend of mine would be able to share a personal development without fear. Perhaps it's because I know they think they are right and that I'm " lost" :/

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When i walked away from religion once and for all, i quietly slipped away. My mom has no use for organized religion, and my friend isn't religious. They were there for me before religion, and they were glad i came to my senses. Since my friend was busy with other things for awhile, i don't think she knows how entrenched i was in this crap. I can relate to the embarrassment you're feeling about all this, in fact i still feel it to an extent.

 

If they're truly your friends, they'll understand, and it won't change anything between you. There's a possibility that those xtian friends you're hanging out with will probably abandon you once they get wind of you facing your doubts head on and walking away from the madness. If you see them around town, there's a chance they may not even speak to you or acknowledge your presence. Any friendship worth its salt is unconditional. If these friends ignore you from here on out, it's pretty safe to surmise that they were never real friends to begin with. It's scary how religion ruins everything.

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Depending on how deep into the faith your friends are, you may lose some of them. Not right away probably. They may try to reconvert/save you. But if they doesn't work, they are likely to give up on you in time. Don't worry about those; they aren't real friends.  Others may follow your questioning and you just might help them out of the lies. Don't expect it, but if it happens, great!

Your family will probably be ok with you. You sound like you're ready to apologize for the dumb shit you shoveled at them, and they'll probably be happy to have you back in the land of reality.

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Don't if you don't have to. I never flat out said I was an Ex-Christian but gave very subtle hints about the situation (that created a shit storm in itself). That alone, I have just stayed away from that subject as much as I can. However gotta say. it hasn't been easy and I have almost revealed the truth out of dumb shit that comes from the religion at home.

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What I have found is that a lot will depend on the mental/emotional health of your friends regardless of their beliefs. I have come out to my family and my close friends. Though there have been some discussions, for the most part I am still loved by those I was close to. I am probably going to make a more public announcement via Facebook once my wife and I work some things out and we feel that we are on more solid footing. I want to do this because I believe that the only way atheists will ever start to enjoy more widespread acceptance is to publicly come out so that people are forced to recognize that people they love and respect are in fact atheists.

 

Anyway, the point is that if they are healthy people they will accept this. If they're not, they won't, but then why would you want to continue to be close to those people?

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