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Cheerful Bumper Sticker


Burt_Lemur
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Driving home this evening, I was stopped at a light and found myself staring at a bumper sticker on the car in front of me that read, "Those waiting to find God at the eleventh hour...might DIE AT 10:30!"... And there was a cartoon drawing of a dead person.

 

Nice, just what I want to see as I'm driving home, trying to unwind after work. My first reaction was to fantasize about running the car in front of me off the road, pulling the driver out and throwing them to the ground, raising a battle axe over my head and shouting "IT'S 10:30!"

 

Of course I wouldn't do that. The rest of the way home I was suddenly saddened at an idea that had never really occurred to me before...that the moment after this person dies, and there are no pearly gates or there is no biblical heaven as this person hoped for, it's kind of sad that the person won't experience the awareness that they were wrong all along.

 

I imagined a completely silly scene where a Christian who'd spent their life fantasizing about and hoping for biblical heaven, and the joy of everyone they've known who doesn't believe as they do being tortured forever, finds themself at the moment after their death in a blank grey room. The door opens and John Cleese enters wearing a tuxedo, and proceeds to explain to them that everything they had believed and all of Christianity was wrong, and gives them the option of being born into a new life if they sign a form declaring they won't badger people in the next life with their bumper stickers.

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Yet another example of Christianity's fetish with death.  I always imagined if believers truly believed in their convoluted vision of the afterlife they would seek death in the quickest most efficient way possible.  However as the more perceptive of us notice, Christians cling to life just as fervently as the rest of the human race.  Have you ever heard anyone at church announcing "praise GAWD I have cancer! I'm gonna be with Jeebus soon?"     

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I could just see John Cleese badgering christians after death :)  Who on earth gets converted by a bumper sticker like that? Except perhaps people going through an episode of psychosis, where they sense that signs and symbols are talking directly to them. If I saw that sticker I think I would have a similar reaction, having the urge to run them off the road and confront them. 

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I prefer picturing it with him in a shoddy grim reaper type costume complete with plastic scythe hehe.

 

 

Also if you imagine trying to start a relationship with a normal person you've just met using that reasoning - 'You must declare your undying love for me today and sign over complete control of your life to me because ON FRIDAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD AND IT'LL BE TOO LATE' at best the other person would tell you to get stuffed, so why would that work with someone you haven't even met?

If you're putting it off you've accepted there's something to put off in the first place anyway, so basically you already have found God and can therefore die right now.

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Ugh, I pass by a church regularly that has that same sign, Freethawt. And this is one of those churches that can afford to spare no expense, so we're talking about an electronic sign that flashes these messages in gaudy animations.

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I wonder if there is a bumper sticker that says, "Just live your life and be happy without hurting others. Don't be afraid of a bearded dick in the sky."

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My local church sign:

 

"God will never give you more than you can bear"

 

 

Uh . . . yeah except for everybody who died.  Yeah it's true except for all the times it's not true.  Sure.

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My local church sign:

 

"God will never give you more than you can bear"

 

 

Uh . . . yeah except for everybody who died.  Yeah it's true except for all the times it's not true.  Sure.

 

This one always pissed me off, even as a christian, as it was so demonstrably not true. What is even more annoying is when a person is pushed past their breaking point, they are blamed for this fact, not the god that is doing the pushing. The best example (and very sad) of this is when christians suicide. These people were experiencing more pain/torment than they could bear, cause if they could have borne it they would still be alive. But of course the christians say it was not gods fault, he is 'not a man that he can lie' so the person must have had some unconfessed sin, blah, blah...and I have heard this said at the funeral of a beautiful woman who committed suicide. She was very, very unwell, and clearly so (she walked and talked like a child but was in her 40's, amongst other things). Man I hate christianity!

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My two favorite bumper stickers so far have been:

 

"Jesus, save me from your followers."

 

"God wants spiritual fruit, not religious nuts."

 

I'm still searching for something similar that I would be willing to put on my own car, but these two still admit the existence of god and Jesus. If anyone knows of any that are short, pithy, non-combative and non-god, I'm open!

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A friend of mine who was an extreme fundamentalist was diagnosed with terminal cancer. He did not accept this as god's will,

but spent a huge amount of time and money traveling all over trying to find a health care provider who would gave him hope.

He was scared and I certainly don't blame him. I was scared for him. Nothing could be found that helped and he died of the disease.

I don't blame him for doing all he could, irrespective of his beliefs. I don't know what I would or will do in those circumstances. But it does show that when push comes to shove, there is another belief system hiding underneath the one we know and acknowledge. And that one underneath is the one that governs the real life or death decisions in our lives.   bill

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My local church sign:

 

"God will never give you more than you can bear"

 

 

Uh . . . yeah except for everybody who died.  Yeah it's true except for all the times it's not true.  Sure.

 

A more accurate doctrine would have been, "God will never give you more than he wants you to be able to bear."

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