Popular Post FloridaGirl Posted July 3, 2013 Popular Post Share Posted July 3, 2013 Here is my letter of what I would say to God. Thanks for reading. I admire each and every one of you for questioning things that were once the foundation of your life. I admire your courage. That couage serves a person very well in life. Dear God, I want so much to believe in you. Whenever something good, yet unexpected happens to me, I want to think it was you who was behind it. I want to think it was you behind setting up me and my boyfriend. I want to think it was you who led me to be bapized. I want to believe it was you there who helped me find the resources I needed to fight my depression. I want to believe that you are there in my suffering. I want to believe you are there to hold me when I am sick. I want to believe you are using physical sickness to help slow down my life and bring me closer to you. When I see something beautiful in the world, I want to believe it was you who created it. When I step inside a beautiful church, I want to believe you are waiting for me there inside it. I want to know you. I want to open a Christian theology book and believe I am unlocking the secrets to a loving creator of the universe. I want to believe that you are the source of all truth, morality, and goodness. I really admire the faith of the person who told me what it meant to be a Christian. I want to emulate his simple, childlike trust in you. I can’t though. I can’t believe anymore and it absolutely breaks my heart. It leaves me with a deep emptiness inside. I can’t believe in hell. I can’t believe that you, a loving God, would send people to such a terrible place just for having the wrong religion or making a wrong decision in their life. I can’t believe that you would send my mom to hell to burn forever, simply for being an agnostic. I can’t believe that you would send the suffering here on earth to suffer more in another eternity. I can’t believe that someone as privileged as myself would hear about you and go to heaven- …but someone on the other side of the world who is without food and happens to be Islam would burn in hell. I can’t believe you would allow 27 million people to be slaves and then send them to hell if they never heard your name. I can’t believe you would answer my prayers to find a nice boyfriend or book on depression and let someone else’s prayers for food to survive, or basic human dignity and freedom to go unanswered. I can’t believe people have used your name to start wars I can’t believe so many Christians persecute homosexuals when what they do is in love and harms absolutely no one. I can’t believe the false pride of your followers. Not all of them are like this but some of them have been the most nasty, judgemenal people I have ever met. I can’t believe they would use your name to justify their own superiority. I can’t believe churches tell us so often not to do silly things like get drunk or have pre-marital sex, yet do so little to help hurting people in the world. I can’t believe the only evidence for your existence is one small book. The same can be said for many other religions. I can’t picture my mom burning in hell any longer. I couldn’t worship a god who would do something so awful. I can’t believe in you anymore. It brings me so much pain and emptiness, but I have to follow truth. God, if you are there, please reveal yourself. I want to believe that my assumptions about you are mistaken and that you are truly there. I want to believe you are a God of love who cares for all people and would never send anyone to hell. All I hear is silence. All I need is truth. Despite your absence, I still have the beauty of the world around me to see every day. I still can see the dignity and value of every human being- a dignity that is immensely greater now that I don’t believe anyone is “damned”. I still have the people in my life who I love very much. I can still help those oppressed people in the world that you have seemed to be ignoring. I still have my thoughts and a deep curiosity about the world around me. I can still ask questions and devour books by sociologists, psychologists, and philosophers- all trying to make sense of the world. I can enjoy life. I can laugh, I can sing, I can explore new places, new thoughts, new ideas, new experiences. I am so sorry I had to let you go, God. I feel a deep emptiness without you. I realize, however, that the world is beautiful whether you created it or not. There is good in life whether you are behind it or not. Regards, FloridaGirl 14 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bhim Posted July 3, 2013 Share Posted July 3, 2013 Wow, a very honest set of words which I think reflects what a lot of us feel about Jesus. How many of us honestly wanted to believe in Jesus, but received no answers to selfless prayers for sanctification and faith? And like you, I likewise will not follow a god who would burn my mom and dad in hell for all eternity. How much easier it is for a Southern Evangelical to follow the faith that his family has been raised in for generations. The rest of us are simply expected to adopt the religion that such a person has known all his life. This is not a god I would follow unless he gave me a good reason to believe in him. And so far I've likewise heard nothing. Thank you for posting this. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lerk Posted July 11, 2013 Share Posted July 11, 2013 Wow, what a wonderful post! The beautiful world you see, and the good in life, will eventually replace the emptiness you feel because of the realization that something you thought was real, really wasn't. I quickly got to "oh, wow, I don't have to worry about god anymore!" The world is much more amazing now, and the bad stuff isn't any worse. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RipVanWinkle Posted July 12, 2013 Share Posted July 12, 2013 ForidaGirl: I challenge god to answer your letter if he can. It is right on point for all of us, I believe. Thank you for positing it. biii Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RenaissanceWoman Posted July 14, 2013 Share Posted July 14, 2013 Any response from God yet? No? I thought so. Thanks for sharing. You are right on, FloridaGirl! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Positivist Posted July 14, 2013 Share Posted July 14, 2013 When I see something beautiful in the world, I want to believe it was you who created it. When I step inside a beautiful church, I want to believe you are waiting for me there inside it..... I want to know you. I want to open a Christian theology book and believe I am unlocking the secrets to a loving creator of the universe. I want to believe that you are the source of all truth, morality, and goodness. Wow, FG. This letter is amazing. I think it captured the way so many of us feel and think. I too wanted to believe. When I felt belief slipping away from me, I did everything in my power (and asked God to help me) to retain it. I remember feeling the emptiness, due to unmet expectations. I found that once the grief subsided and I 'got my life back' life became amazing. Be at peace, friend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrisstavrous Posted July 14, 2013 Share Posted July 14, 2013 FG, god has his fingers in his ears and he is yelling la la la la la la i'm not listening. (For ever and ever) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shadesofgray Posted July 15, 2013 Share Posted July 15, 2013 God, if you are there, please reveal yourself. I prayed this for YEARS. When I kept not getting an answer, I kept praying. I surrendered my doubts to god and laid them at the foot of the cross. And still I never heard a thing. THIS, more than anything, convinced me it was all in my head, and god wasn't real. In a way, the offer still stands. If god somehow makes himself real to me even now, I'd go back. I'd believe in him. I still want to believe, but without any evidence, without the "relationship" being a 2-way one, it's just not possible. Anyway, that is a beautiful letter. I think it captures the process beautifully. I don't think many of us hate god. I think we are simply sick of constant disappointment and disillusionment. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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