Ouch - That Stings

[ChristianGuy1000]

Hi Folks,

 

I finally came out on Facebook and told people I am an atheist and highlighted some reasons why I chose not to believe.  Now I am getting tons of messages from my 'Christian' friends who are now trying to win me back!

 

This is actually hard to take what advice do you have folks,

 

Cheers,

 

[RenaissanceWoman]

First of all... are they really friends? Are they hiding behind their computers as they try to win you back? Give none of them any credence unless they have the care, concern, and courage to meet for coffee or come to your house or talk on the phone or anything else a real friend would do. You could point this out: I am willing to get together and discuss if you would like. See if any of them show up. If so, that is (maybe) a friend. Otherwise they are just mosquitoes in your ear. Swat them away.

 

I don't know how old you are, but I will give you my advice as a 40-something lady: In real life, you can probably only count your real friends on one hand. Forced communities like Facebook and churches might make you feel like you have lots of friends, but they are not real.

 

Last year, for example, I was slaving away at the landscaping around my new pool, trying to finish up before my daughter's birthday pool party, in the soaring late-August heat of the southern US. My best friend was with me, but she had to go run some errands. She came back with new garden gloves and my favorite soda; I nearly cried. She spent $5 on what she knew I needed at the time, without me even asking. That was so sweet, and I felt so loved.

 

I have since de-converted, and she knows it. (She is still an active member at my former church, which abused me, but I respect her reasons for staying.) She originally said "I don't know how to process that," (no big theological discussions and no pressure to come back), and after that she still includes me in her everyday life and treats me like the friend I always was. Do you see what I mean? A real friend who loves me wherever I am.

 

If any of these FB people care enough to get together with you, you could probably have an interesting conversation. Don't settle for anything less.

 

This may be a lesson for you about the nature of human relationships and friendship. And oh, what a painful lesson it is, I totally know! Your de-conversion is just the vehicle for that discovery. Don't sweat it.

[Thurisaz]

Just a quick shot: Do any of them address the reasons you stated? Or are they basically just babbling once-size-fits-all cult propaganda?

 

If they at least take note of your reasons and show you proof that they did, there's hope. If someone only offers cookie-cutter bullshit... well I guess you know what I think about such folks.

[TrueFreedom]

That's to be expected, ex-CG.  Some of them will probably unfriend you over this.  You might want to block people from posting on your wall if it's really bothering you.  If you don't want to engage, post a message explaining that.  Good luck!

[Pantophobia]

Also, consider exactly why you chose to publicly declare your atheism (even though it appears you're still struggling with your beliefs) on FB. Do you want reactions? Do you want to be challenged to "defend" yourself? (A lot of this is right in line with the Christian mindset, too.)

 

Don't worry about what others say and think. Don't worry about making big public declarations. Focus inward first. Unlike Christianity, agnosticism/atheism/wherever you end up is about being in touch with your needs, finding answers, and feeling healthy as a human being. It shouldn't be about public debate with "Christians" or grandiose declarations in order to prove persecution. We aren't "born again deconverteds" here!

[ChristianGuy1000]

Hi Pantophobia,

 

I sort of want to defend my view but at the same time these views are the views I have held since Joining Christianity just I said it to one or two people and never got an answer but suddenly when u say your an Athiest people want to give you answers like that is completely messed up.

 

That said the answers arent that Good and alot of Apologetics gets them so I cannot believe that they are 100% accurate.  As I have been told by others here - The Onus on them is to prove gods existence.

 

I said this:

I don't think I need challenged on scripture folks - I asked God to give me a revelation like he gave to Paul - I never received one,  So for all you Christians God knows where I am otherwise no point in trying to make a case. 

[raoul]

Hi Pantophobia,

 

I sort of want to defend my view but at the same time these views are the views I have held since Joining Christianity just I said it to one or two people and never got an answer but suddenly when u say your an Athiest people want to give you answers like that is completely messed up.

 

That said the answers arent that Good and alot of Apologetics gets them so I cannot believe that they are 100% accurate.  As I have been told by others here - The Onus on them is to prove gods existence.

 

I said this:

I don't think I need challenged on scripture folks - I asked God to give me a revelation like he gave to Paul - I never received one,  So for all you Christians God knows where I am otherwise no point in trying to make a case. 

Strange thing about apologetics. Back when I was in the cult, as I call it, I did the xtian apologetic thing with numerous atheists. The numerous debates went no where but a very productive thing resulted - some of them became very close friends of mine. I made every attempt to construct my arguments in a logical and sound manner and I NEVER cited the ot for anything for obvious reasons. In fact, I didn't thump the bible that much anyway. I probably was arguing from a deistic position without ever being aware of this. I said 'strange thing about apologetics' right? Know why? Because now that I'm on the other side and have lost the 'god' glasses xtians all wear, the critical thinking skills have kicked in again. And I've found there is NOTHING they can use on us that we cannot give a very strong argument against. It doesn't matter how rabid the xtian is or how educated - their arguments are absolutely pathetic and can be seen through. In fact, my experience has shown that the more educated one of them is with anything, especially the bible, the easier it is to get them to turn tale and run away as most do in the end of any of our debates.

[Pantophobia]

Hi Pantophobia,

 

I sort of want to defend my view but at the same time these views are the views I have held since Joining Christianity just I said it to one or two people and never got an answer but suddenly when u say your an Athiest people want to give you answers like that is completely messed up.

 

That said the answers arent that Good and alot of Apologetics gets them so I cannot believe that they are 100% accurate.  As I have been told by others here - The Onus on them is to prove gods existence.

 

I said this:

I don't think I need challenged on scripture folks - I asked God to give me a revelation like he gave to Paul - I never received one,  So for all you Christians God knows where I am otherwise no point in trying to make a case. 

 

Don't worry, ChristianGuy, you don't need to defend your views to me (or anyone else here)... we're all on our own individual journeys, after all. I know that some people get in the habit of either rattling cage bars for the sake of making noise, or, as I said before, transferring Deconversion straight into the old conversion model of ASK ME ABOUT JEEBUS! GO ON! IF YOU DON'T YOU ARE PERSECUTING ME! And especially in these first stages, it's sometimes a lot less frustrating and more helpful to focus inward. 

 

How are you feeling about all of this stuff overall? You've had a tumultuous several weeks, after all!

[midniterider]

 

I said this:

I don't think I need challenged on scripture folks - I asked God to give me a revelation like he gave to Paul - I never received one,  So for all you Christians God knows where I am otherwise no point in trying to make a case. 

 

If you're an atheist or non-christian, scripture is irrelevant. It's like arguing the truth that comes from Mad Magazine.

[midniterider]

Hi Folks,

 

I finally came out on Facebook and told people I am an atheist and highlighted some reasons why I chose not to believe.  Now I am getting tons of messages from my 'Christian' friends who are now trying to win me back!

 

This is actually hard to take what advice do you have folks,

 

Cheers,

 

Tell them you are burning your bible too.

[midniterider]

Hi Folks,

 

I finally came out on Facebook and told people I am an atheist and highlighted some reasons why I chose not to believe.  Now I am getting tons of messages from my 'Christian' friends who are now trying to win me back!

 

This is actually hard to take what advice do you have folks,

 

Cheers,

 

Maybe your Christian friends can still be your friend even if you're an atheist. If not, they were never your friend.

[Ralet]

Hi Folks,

 

I finally came out on Facebook and told people I am an atheist and highlighted some reasons why I chose not to believe.  Now I am getting tons of messages from my 'Christian' friends who are now trying to win me back!

 

This is actually hard to take what advice do you have folks,

 

Cheers,

They are probably worried about you ending in hell and want to save you. Thats not a bad sign. It is probably the same way we would have reacted when we were still christian and a friend lost his faith. I hope they will understand that you are not confused or lost, but that you made a final decision and that they can't win you back. they have to deal with it. if  they cant they are not real friends.

[Lerk]

 

I said this:

I don't think I need challenged on scripture folks - I asked God to give me a revelation like he gave to Paul... .

 

Thou shalt not tempt the lord thy god!

[RipVanWinkle]

Raoul: I used to have arguments with my brother, who is a fundamentalist, frequently. It was the moat frustrating experience of my life. He would concede virtually nothing. Of course since he is my older brother, he had a distinct advantage: he could beat me up if I didn't give up. But I wish i could listen to you and him debate to see how he would wiggle  out of his extreme positions.

 

He told me that if he were able to time travel back to the days of the execution of Jesus and personally observe that the resurrection didn't happen, he would still believe. I finally realized that he was totally brainwashed. He still is.

                                                                                                                                                       bill

[ChristianGuy1000]

Hi mister two.

 

I don't think that arguement happens because God knows id like to believe in him if he is too good to come to AA Christian who is down and out then is he really a true deity

 

William Davis your brothers view reminds me of the movie the last temptation of The Christin that it shows the decuples would still preach the gospel even if Jesus didn't of die for our sins

 

Phantophobia its been turbulent but what is harder is some ppl still calling me Christian so  thought i should make it public and then everyone knows.  People here have been great I've just found myself in a really bad depression over the last 7 months because of religion and I'm very angry for it as if it was God he is very cruel.

 

I am from northern Ireland and over here everyone wants u too be a Christian these people who show concern a all brainwashed other christins just said good luck.

 

I put one argument to a fundie and despite my argue,ents with him all sqy he never replied to my question it was

 

If a 13 year old girl gets raped and murdered but does not believe in God she would goto hell.

But the rapist does it to 20 more girls then in prison finds Jesus he gets paradise that's a fucked up justice system

[Lerk]

Hi mister two.

 

I don't think that arguement happens because God knows id like to believe in him if he is too good to come to AA Christian who is down and out then is he really a true deity

 

 

Sorry, perhaps my humor wasn't obvious. In your asking the god for a sign, a Christian would likely quote that verse.

[Thurisaz]

Yes that version of "justice" deserves to be mocked and nothing else.

 

Considering that there are verses in da babble that make it clear that salvation is based on work and not on belief, in contrast to the morontheist position, proves that they make a conscious choice in favor of the belief variant. Until and unless someone proves the opposite to me I posit that there's a simple reason for that: A True Morontheist™ cares shit for the tenets of her belief, she wants to be right by default with at little effort as possible.

 

And it's far easier to claim to believe right than to act right. Easy way out, nothing more.

[stryper]

Hi Folks,

 

I finally came out on Facebook and told people I am an atheist and highlighted some reasons why I chose not to believe.  Now I am getting tons of messages from my 'Christian' friends who are now trying to win me back!

 

This is actually hard to take what advice do you have folks,

 

Cheers,

You will find that they will gradually fall away.  

 

Many will just unfriend you.  Some will publicly "breakup" with you then unfriend you.  It will probably come in waves. 

 

Just be prepared for it. 

[gall]

Hi Folks,

 

I finally came out on Facebook and told people I am an atheist and highlighted some reasons why I chose not to believe.  Now I am getting tons of messages from my 'Christian' friends who are now trying to win me back!

 

This is actually hard to take what advice do you have folks,

 

Cheers,

 

The healthy thing overall would be delete the poison. Get rid of your facebook acount and learn to contact people the old fashion way.

 

I would not even have the job I Have right now if I had one as they do not hire people with facebook accounts as a precaution.

[♦ ficino ♦]

 

 

I said this:

I don't think I need challenged on scripture folks - I asked God to give me a revelation like he gave to Paul - I never received one,  So for all you Christians God knows where I am otherwise no point in trying to make a case. 

 

If you're an atheist or non-christian, scripture is irrelevant. It's like arguing the truth that comes from Mad Magazine.

 

I learned my morals from Mad Magazine!  What, me worry?

[mymistake]

If you want to get good at arguing against apologetics then learn from the best.  Watch youtube vids from Sam Harris, Christopher Hitchens and Richard Dawkins. 

[RenaissanceWoman]

If you really want to sort the wheat from the chaff of your FB friends, start linking to youtube vids by nonstampcollector. Short, witty, visually interesting enough for a few of your friends to actually watch. I'd be curious to hear their responses then. You may even change some minds? (A girl can dream.)

[gall]

 

Hi Folks,

 

I finally came out on Facebook and told people I am an atheist and highlighted some reasons why I chose not to believe.  Now I am getting tons of messages from my 'Christian' friends who are now trying to win me back!

 

This is actually hard to take what advice do you have folks,

 

Cheers,

You will find that they will gradually fall away.  

 

Many will just unfriend you.  Some will publicly "breakup" with you then unfriend you.  It will probably come in waves. 

 

Just be prepared for it. 

 

 

The fact that a protion of our society has come to even give a fucking shit is what the real issue is here.

 

 

WHO CARES what they think of you screw face book screw those that can't accept you for you screw those who are trying cohersion to win you to their side screw asshole face bookites that cannot live in the real world and think their words in there matter.

 

 

delete your facebook page problem solved.

[duderonomy]

 

Hi Pantophobia,

 

I sort of want to defend my view but at the same time these views are the views I have held since Joining Christianity just I said it to one or two people and never got an answer but suddenly when u say your an Athiest people want to give you answers like that is completely messed up.

 

That said the answers arent that Good and alot of Apologetics gets them so I cannot believe that they are 100% accurate.  As I have been told by others here - The Onus on them is to prove gods existence.

 

I said this:

I don't think I need challenged on scripture folks - I asked God to give me a revelation like he gave to Paul - I never received one,  So for all you Christians God knows where I am otherwise no point in trying to make a case. 

Strange thing about apologetics. Back when I was in the cult, as I call it, I did the xtian apologetic thing with numerous atheists. The numerous debates went no where but a very productive thing resulted - some of them became very close friends of mine. I made every attempt to construct my arguments in a logical and sound manner and I NEVER cited the ot for anything for obvious reasons. In fact, I didn't thump the bible that much anyway. I probably was arguing from a deistic position without ever being aware of this. I said 'strange thing about apologetics' right? Know why? Because now that I'm on the other side and have lost the 'god' glasses xtians all wear, the critical thinking skills have kicked in again. And I've found there is NOTHING they can use on us that we cannot give a very strong argument against. It doesn't matter how rabid the xtian is or how educated - their arguments are absolutely pathetic and can be seen through. In fact, my experience has shown that the more educated one of them is with anything, especially the bible, the easier it is to get them to turn tale and run away as most do in the end of any of our debates.

 

 

 

raoul, I thought you left?