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Stop Pretending Like You Give A Damn When You Really Don't Care


BendyLine
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So about a month ago, I posted a sarcastic comment on a Facebook community that tends to be critical of mainstream Christianity (Stuff Christian Culture Like, which is a great page, but that's beside the point). Apparently, it showed up on a few of my family's feed, because my cousin (who is a youth minister) sent me a long note about it. Basically, the note was bemoaning how "cynical" I had become about Christianity, and that he was disappointed because at one time I was (apparently) an inspiration to him, inspiring him to follow Christ. 

 

Over the last few years I've been in legal trouble, been depressed to the point of almost committing suicide, been harassed by former employees, had a close family pass away, my wife almost died in the hospital, etc. While I didn't advertise all of this on Facebook, more than some of it was at least mentioned. Where was my fucking note when all this shit was going down? But then I make a comment on a page that he could just as easily ignore, and I get a dissertation on how awful my attitude is? So I get ignored until something that kinda sorta goes against what he believes? Fuck him. 

 

It does kind of bother me, because we grew up together, and as we grew older we kinda drifted apart because of natural stuff (living 9 hours away from each other, him being busy with his kids, etc.). But I'm sorry, if you can't bother to call me but every other Christmas or so, then I'm not going to spill my guts to you about my personal beliefs, even if you are threatened by them. 

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Why not be cynical? If that's what life's telling you, that things are bad and going to be bad, then that's how it is. Tell him.

 

I remember my uncle telling me that I dissappointed him, that I was the one he hoped for the most to turn out to be a "good person" (How he said believer), because I said I was an atheist. Now that I think about it, I can understand from his point of view exactly why he worded it the way he did, I was probably, with the likely exception of him, thee most devout believer, thee most religious, out of the whole family at times prior. In fact, I was reading the Bible extramuch because I wanted to be a pastor or a missionary (Oh... yeah... about that....)

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BendyLine, most people are pretty self absorbed.  Try not to expend too much energy feeling angry and upset over your cousin's attitude.  He's probably a good guy... just a little clueless.  By the way, I'm sorry you have been having such a difficult time.  I hope things are looking up.

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Oh, but I'm sure they were "praying for you" during all those other times, right? We all know that is the lazy way out of doing anything else, and in this case, they were too lazy to even bother to tell you they were praying. I would not be surprised if that is what he comes back with, "But I was praying for you..." Even if any of them had said it at the time of your difficult events, I would have been annoyed that it is a lazy excuse for doing nothing else, but at least they would have been acknowledging your troubles, which would have been better than the complete nothing they did give you.

 

If you do decide to post to them what you have said here, which I think is a great idea, I would personally add a bit about the laziness of "praying for you" -- get off your asses and send me a card when someone dies, you lazy fucks. It's plain human decency.

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I don't think anyone with half a brain can help but be a little cynical in this world. I get that charge often, I just tell them I'm a realist with open eyes.

 

It's all about shaming and trying to push you back 'in line'. (how DARE you have different views!) Handling that with some tact is a challenge though.

 

good luck

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So tell him exactly what you wrote here on facebook for the world to see. I would.

I wish I could. I'm just too much of a pussy to face the drama it would cause with the rest of my family. They don't know I'm a full blown atheist, and I don't really feel like telling them at this point in time. 

 

I'm thinking about writing him a private note saying basically what I wrote (sans profanity), but I don't think it's worth the bother. As a Baptist youth pastor, he's got his head pretty far up Jesus' ass, so I doubt he'd understand. Judging from some of his past behavior, he'd probably just stop talking to me altogether. Which probably wouldn't make much of a difference, but... well hell, he's got some of my old video games, and I might want those back one day. 

 

The thing that really gets me though is I didn't come out and say "Hey, I'm an atheist, Christianity is bullshit, and you're wasting your life following a delusion!" I just made a comment on a page that he doesn't like because it sort of goes against his beliefs. I'm not close enough to this guy to have this conversation. If it were, say, my sister, I might be willing to discuss it, because we're close enough for me to share my personal stuff with. 

 

Anyway, thanks all for reading my vent. :)

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So tell him exactly what you wrote here on facebook for the world to see. I would.

I wish I could. I'm just too much of a pussy to face the drama it would cause with the rest of my family. They don't know I'm a full blown atheist, and I don't really feel like telling them at this point in time. 

 

I'm thinking about writing him a private note saying basically what I wrote (sans profanity), but I don't think it's worth the bother. As a Baptist youth pastor, he's got his head pretty far up Jesus' ass, so I doubt he'd understand. Judging from some of his past behavior, he'd probably just stop talking to me altogether. Which probably wouldn't make much of a difference, but... well hell, he's got some of my old video games, and I might want those back one day. 

 

The thing that really gets me though is I didn't come out and say "Hey, I'm an atheist, Christianity is bullshit, and you're wasting your life following a delusion!" I just made a comment on a page that he doesn't like because it sort of goes against his beliefs. I'm not close enough to this guy to have this conversation. If it were, say, my sister, I might be willing to discuss it, because we're close enough for me to share my personal stuff with. 

 

Anyway, thanks all for reading my vent. smile.png

 

 

Yeah, I have been avoiding telling my family members too to avoid the drama, though I'm getting the sense that they might already know. I did change my facebook page about info to Agnostic awhile ago. 

 

It sucks though that you went through all that and never heard a word or got a letter then and NOW you're getting notes and stuff because he's a little offended you don't share the same beliefs. That sucks.

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