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As A Former Charismatic/pentecostal Christian, My Realization


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In my past life, I distinctly remember going to church camps and conferences, where people would be "touched" by the Holy Spirit. I always tried my hardest to "press in" and "receive" something from the "Lord". I saw all kinds of people around me being "Slain in the Spirit," having supposed "visions," and "experiencing God." Interestingly enough, no matter what I tried or how I went about it, I was always devoid of these experiences. I recall one specific instance in a leadership conference at camp, we were told to press in to the Holy Spirit; I literally bowed down and remained there for 45 minutes, expecting something from "God," expecting the "power of the Holy Spirit" to hit me, to change me forever. Nothing.

 

I also deem relevant to mention my OCD, which was a significant barrier to "experiencing God" and living my life. I would have compulsive blasphemous thoughts, which of course would be attributed to "demonic oppression." Never once did anybody bother to say "maybe you have OCD." No, it was always attributed to the devil and his minions. I can say with full certainty, that my exposure to Pentecostalism was a period of worry, of suffering, and pain in my life. If only for the ignorance of those around me to basic Psychological phenomena.

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Welcome!

 

 

If only for the ignorance of those around me to basic Psychological phenomena.

 

 

Ignorance is an integral part of the cult. It extends to all areas of science and human behavior.
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In my past life, I distinctly remember going to church camps and conferences, where people would be "touched" by the Holy Spirit. I always tried my hardest to "press in" and "receive" something from the "Lord". I saw all kinds of people around me being "Slain in the Spirit," having supposed "visions," and "experiencing God." Interestingly enough, no matter what I tried or how I went about it, I was always devoid of these experiences. I recall one specific instance in a leadership conference at camp, we were told to press in to the Holy Spirit; I literally bowed down and remained there for 45 minutes, expecting something from "God," expecting the "power of the Holy Spirit" to hit me, to change me forever. Nothing.

 

I also deem relevant to mention my OCD, which was a significant barrier to "experiencing God" and living my life. I would have compulsive blasphemous thoughts, which of course would be attributed to "demonic oppression." Never once did anybody bother to say "maybe you have OCD." No, it was always attributed to the devil and his minions. I can say with full certainty, that my exposure to Pentecostalism was a period of worry, of suffering, and pain in my life. If only for the ignorance of those around me to basic Psychological phenomena.

 

I felt the Holy Spirit of Endorphins at my Pentecostal church and that was about it. Could never force myself to tardspeak speak in tongues and keep a straight face. I always felt the ultimate in embarrassment when someone slowly and with intent got on the ground and then began to writhe around like an idiot.

 

So God never cured you of that OCD, huh? :-) Go figure. Churches need to pull their head out and suggest people see a doctor in addition to prayer. And if prayer doesn't fix it maybe they should reevaluate why they believe in Jebus at all.

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Welcome!

 

 

If only for the ignorance of those around me to basic Psychological phenomena.

 

 

Ignorance is an integral part of the cult. It extends to all areas of science and human behavior.

 

It is even quite common outside of religious groupthink, it even happens in rationalist groupthink at times.

 

Read, e.g. Randi's Encyclopedia of Claims, Frauds and Hoaxes of the Occult and Supernatural, especially its article on "auras". Now, if someone talks to a skeptically-minded person and claims to see auras, many skeptics will dismiss such a claim as bollocks or superstition, and possibly stop listening to the claimant or at least make it clear they don't believe the aura-seers claims as concerns the experiences the aura-seer himself has. However, the claim may only partially be bollocks: it is of course unlikely there is any supernatural significance to auras, but we do know of one phenomenon that is somewhat similar - synesthesia makes people "hear" sounds when they see colors, or perceive colours when they hear certain sounds, etc. There is a significant variation in the kind of sensory input that triggers synesthesia, and the kind of perception that gets triggered among those who have it. There is even good research linking the perception of auras with synesthesia, and it is likely that most people who claim to see auras actually do see fields of color the way they claim to. However, of course, there is no supernatural significance to them, they are just products of slightly unusual things going on in the brain.

 

However, the rationalism group think on this issue does kind of exclude those who perceive such things - we don't tend to listen to their claims regarding their own perceptions but label them liars or delusional, which kind of forces them into the arms of new agers and other people who are willing to take their claims regarding what they see seriously (and invest some kind of supernatural significance into it). Essentially, there's a tendency for us rationalists to drive people with certain conditions away from rationalism.

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However, the rationalism group think on this issue does kind of exclude those who perceive such things - we don't tend to listen to their claims regarding their own perceptions but label them liars or delusional, which kind of forces them into the arms of new agers and other people who are willing to take their claims regarding what they see seriously (and invest some kind of supernatural significance into it). Essentially, there's a tendency for us rationalists to drive people with certain conditions away from rationalism.

 

 

 A large group of Christians will ridicule a lone atheist and consider him delusional.

A large group of atheists will ridicule a lone Christian and consider him delusional.

 

:-)

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That (OP) is close to my experience. I never got to experience any of those supernatural things no matter how much I tried to. It was disappointing at the time, as I thought they were what was meant to happen and it felt like I was missing out. I came to think people were faking it or just copying each other but then with the Toronto Blessing I saw people I didn't think were faking it. But then I thought it was 'of Satan' and was glad I hadn't experienced it myself. Now I think it might be a part of the brain that gets triggered and some people are more susceptible because their brains are differently 'wired'. There's some interesting research I can't do justice to but to do with left and right brain and how an illusion can be induced that there's another presence.

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zeldarocks, consider yourself lucky. I also never experienced any of that. The only things I experienced was a tapping in my foot while half asleep and a wild dream. From what I have seen slain in the spirit and tongues are for the weak minded. Anyone you know who experiences those is a red flag and you need to stay away. They are too easily brainwashed.

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zeldarocks, consider yourself lucky. I also never experienced any of that. The only things I experienced was a tapping in my foot while half asleep and a wild dream. From what I have seen slain in the spirit and tongues are for the weak minded. Anyone you know who experiences those is a red flag and you need to stay away. They are too easily brainwashed.

 

I myself experienced what I would consider severe brainwashing, I thought rock music was of the devil, I thought laughing and entertainment of "the world" was demonic... In retrospect, I'm glad I got out of all of that. Definitely not a healthy environment, particularly for those with pre-existing mental illness.

 

I did have a couple of experiences where I would begin to weep the closer I got to the "altar"/platform, and a weird experience at church camp where we went through a prop doorway and we either began weeping, got slain in the spirit, or just fell to our knees... It's wild what an ultra-charged emotionalist atmosphere can do to a person.

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In my past life, I distinctly remember going to church camps and conferences, where people would be "touched" by the Holy Spirit. I always tried my hardest to "press in" and "receive" something from the "Lord". I saw all kinds of people around me being "Slain in the Spirit," having supposed "visions," and "experiencing God." Interestingly enough, no matter what I tried or how I went about it, I was always devoid of these experiences. I recall one specific instance in a leadership conference at camp, we were told to press in to the Holy Spirit; I literally bowed down and remained there for 45 minutes, expecting something from "God," expecting the "power of the Holy Spirit" to hit me, to change me forever. Nothing.

 

I also deem relevant to mention my OCD, which was a significant barrier to "experiencing God" and living my life. I would have compulsive blasphemous thoughts, which of course would be attributed to "demonic oppression." Never once did anybody bother to say "maybe you have OCD." No, it was always attributed to the devil and his minions. I can say with full certainty, that my exposure to Pentecostalism was a period of worry, of suffering, and pain in my life. If only for the ignorance of those around me to basic Psychological phenomena.

 

This sort of describes the way someone would probably feel sitting in jail without a sentence or a trial. The time is robbed from you and the only thing you can do now is live stronger harder and faster to make up the time you lost letting this stuff control you.

 

Thankfully it is over now and you can go back to living and I commend you on that. I promise there are a lot of hobbies that are a lot more fun than religion.

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zeldarocks, I also wanted something supernatural from the holy spirit badly, pleading to God to get it. I only experienced a very small "feeling" two times, but nothing convincing. However, there were some people who felt the “spirit” when I prayed for them.

It is good to know that all the spiritual experiences are clearly something going on in people’s brains, and we have different brains.

Sorry that your OCD should be translated to demons! It is good you now know that it nonsense. You are lucky!

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There were times where I thought I felt the Holy Spirit.

 

And I have OCD as well. I used to think Satan was behind all the intrusive thoughts as well. So, I can relate on this.

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There were times where I thought I felt the Holy Spirit.

 

And I have OCD as well. I used to think Satan was behind all the intrusive thoughts as well. So, I can relate on this.

 

Do you now accept that the only person in your head is you regardless of how many voices there may be? It is just a community of your voices and the facets of you. We are a community of one in that way. Use those voices to learn things about your multifaceted personality that we all have. Enjoy them and make them work for you not against you. The essence of you must be the ring leader while the voices are the performers doing your bidding.

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There were times where I thought I felt the Holy Spirit.

 

And I have OCD as well. I used to think Satan was behind all the intrusive thoughts as well. So, I can relate on this.

Do you now accept that the only person in your head is you regardless of how many voices there may be? It is just a community of your voices and the facets of you. We are a community of one in that way. Use those voices to learn things about your multifaceted personality that we all have. Enjoy them and make them work for you not against you. The essence of you must be the ring leader while the voices are the performers doing your bidding.

Yes. Eventually I came to realize that this in a illness. Not a supernatural being putting thoughts into my head.

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