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Stupid Churchy Rules


Lilith666
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So I'm 18 and living with my parents. I had a friend over for a movie night and took The Blair Witch Project out of the library. I hoped there wouldn't be a problem, as my mother said a while ago that on turning 18 I could watch what I wanted. Of course, Dad takes issue with this--he's more conservative than Mom is about house rules and such, when it comes to religion. It's their house and he's still my father, etc., etc.

 

I know what you're thinking: I'll be out of the house in a week and can do what I want, outside of studying for exams and writing papers. But I was hoping that my best friend and I could have a little  more freedom before I have to go. It's kind of special. Yes, there are vacations. But still.

 

They're Protestant, so they have this rule: if you wouldn't watch it with Jesus, you shouldn't be watching it. Catholics have so much more fun (I always thought). Why couldn't they have been Catholic?

 

I know a little more liberation is coming, but it's still annoying. I'm stuck with legalists on my summers off for the next four years, as I probably won't get an apartment until graduate school.

 

There's a giant list of things that true disciples can't do. They can't:

-Watch R-rated movies

-Watch porn

-Masturbate 

-Think about sex with anyone other than their spouses (so single people must never ever fantasize because somehow that's adultery)

-Swear

-Make dirty jokes

-Commit any sort of sexual immorality (forget that the bible doesn't really define this. You're supposed to read into everything so you don't sin.)

-Doubt Gawd's eternal love or justice or any other obvious biblical truth, notwithstanding his many genocides and double standards

-Like any book more than the buybull, no matter how much more interesting it is

-Be in church and wish they were somewhere else

-Have better things to do than grow in their    relationship with Gawd

-Have greater emotional feeling towards anyone than they do towards Gawd, never mind that they have never in their lives had an actual two-way conversation with the great savior

-Think that someone else has a really cool car and they want one like that

-Do anything that doesn't exactly line up with the biblical version of gawdliness

 

It's a little sad to see people do this to themselves. Does anyone have any more examples of dumb/strange Xian laws?

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 Does anyone have any more examples of dumb/strange Xian laws?

 

It looks like you've got a good list of stupid Xian laws. It's unfortunate that people have to be trapped in the cult. They can't even think for themselves. Xianity is nothing but a poison that gives believers a good high when they ingest it, but comes with a lot of terrible side effects when used by the wrong people. If anyone EVER doubts any of the teachings, all hell will break loose, with loads of psychological disorders.

 

I wish for a day when Xianity will no longer exist and be a part of history, but that will likely never happen before the trigger-happy politicians blow the Earth to smithereens with their weapons of mass destruction. 

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So I'm 18 and living with my parents. I had a friend over for a movie night and took The Blair Witch Project out of the library. I hoped there wouldn't be a problem, as my mother said a while ago that on turning 18 I could watch what I wanted. Of course, Dad takes issue with this--he's more conservative than Mom is about house rules and such, when it comes to religion. It's their house and he's still my father, etc., etc.

 

I know what you're thinking: I'll be out of the house in a week and can do what I want, outside of studying for exams and writing papers. But I was hoping that my best friend and I could have a little  more freedom before I have to go. It's kind of special. Yes, there are vacations. But still.

 

They're Protestant, so they have this rule: if you wouldn't watch it with Jesus, you shouldn't be watching it. Catholics have so much more fun (I always thought). Why couldn't they have been Catholic?

 

I know a little more liberation is coming, but it's still annoying. I'm stuck with legalists on my summers off for the next four years, as I probably won't get an apartment until graduate school.

 

There's a giant list of things that true disciples can't do. They can't:

-Watch R-rated movies

-Watch porn

-Masturbate 

-Think about sex with anyone other than their spouses (so single people must never ever fantasize because somehow that's adultery)

-Swear

-Make dirty jokes

-Commit any sort of sexual immorality (forget that the bible doesn't really define this. You're supposed to read into everything so you don't sin.)

-Doubt Gawd's eternal love or justice or any other obvious biblical truth, notwithstanding his many genocides and double standards

-Like any book more than the buybull, no matter how much more interesting it is

-Be in church and wish they were somewhere else

-Have better things to do than grow in their    relationship with Gawd

-Have greater emotional feeling towards anyone than they do towards Gawd, never mind that they have never in their lives had an actual two-way conversation with the great savior

-Think that someone else has a really cool car and they want one like that

-Do anything that doesn't exactly line up with the biblical version of gawdliness

 

It's a little sad to see people do this to themselves. Does anyone have any more examples of dumb/strange Xian laws?

 

Sorta makes a Federal Student Loan look rather appealing, don't it? :-)

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It's a little sad to see people do this to themselves. Does anyone have any more examples of dumb/strange Xian laws?

 

At the Nazarene church I had a Bible Study leader who got into a lot of hot water with Church rules.  He very nearly got striped of all his leadership roles.  What was his crime?  Why of course he was seen as a restaurant with a group and somebody else at the table was having a glass of wine.  This was a serious violation.  Sitting at the same table with somebody who drinks wine is endorsing their sin.

 

49.gif 

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Haha! I'd love to watch The Blair Witch Project with Jesus, bet he'd be hilarious! 'You think wooden crosses in a forest are scary? Try being crucified on one!'

I remember when I watched it with my friend when we were 17 or something having not seen many horror films, we felt so grown up expecting it to be this terrifying experience that would have us clutching our pillows in terror, it was such an anticlimax haha! But still, felt like a rite of passage.

Anyway, apart from not listening to non-christian music I can't think of any others to add right now.

I hope you have fun with your liberation! And I hope having tasted freedom it doesn't get too hard for you when you visit your restrictive parents over summer, just keep your eyes on the end of it and keep busy so you're out of the house and out from their watchful gaze is my advice.

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That list pretty much sums up my childhood, teen years, and most of my young adult life. I remember when I was a teenager and my hormones were out of control, I had to imagine my "future husband" as a "shadow" so I wouldn't technically be sinning (at least that's how I justified it to myself, lol). 

 

 

And, wow, mymistake, all the guy did was sit at a table with someone ELSE who was having a glass of wine?! yeesh!!! 

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Pretty much all of those listed, plus not being able to watch a show or anything with 'magic' in it, like Avatar: TLA or Harry Potter, though in my experience it was only a few parents who stressed this kind of thing, not the church as a whole. Of course, The Lord of the Rings and Narnia get a pass 'cuz they were written by Christians. My church also taught that Halloween was of the devil, so we would always have a Harvest Festival or some similar bullshit. We also weren't supposed to listen to secular music because of the 'immoral' lyrics. We couldn't be unequally yoked either, so we were discouraged from having non-christian friends, and if we did we were supposed to witness to them all the time, apparently so they would become so annoyed with us that would stop being our friends. We couldn't have non-christian boyfriends/girlfriends because they would inevitably "bring us down" or cause us to renounce our faith in gawd. And we were even encouraged to make friends at school for the express purpose of witnessing to them. Not because we, you know, wanted to simply be their friend or anything. No, that would be far too honest for any true follower of Christ.

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I just finished my first (and second technically) year of college and will be a junior in a week and a half. Being out of your house will be amazing. You will enjoy it! My parents are much like yours--quite conservative and legalistic. This summer, being back from college, I have found it to be absolutely stifling (not to depress you or anything). My parents still think they can discipline me for offenses! So you feel less bad about having to spend summers at home, just know that even at home with them, you are still old enough to decide what you want to do. And it is only two and a half or so months of the year. Thank goodness! I look forward to moving back into the dorms in a week and a half. 

 

I hate the dirty joke thing too. My parents NEVER laugh at ANYTHING that jokes about sex. Talk about uptight! Meanwhile, I am trying to hold my laughter in during awkward silences where no one laughs. I wasn't allowed to read/watch Harry Potter. No listening to nonChristian music until I was a senior in high school. Dad thought Coldplay was devil music. Coldplay. No R-rated movies, not even The Passion of the Christ! No watching Sabrina: The Teenage Witch or Wizards of Waverly Place. Anything sexual in entertainment was censored (i.e. channel changed, muted). Too many cuss words in a video game or movie gets the "Ah, should you be playing/watching this?" 

 

Oh, and I was never allowed to go to a movie theater. It was forbidden. We could watch movies at home on-demand or on rental, but NEVER in a theater.

 

My last year in high school changed everything. I started listening to nonChristian music and I started liking this great and studious guy who was also an agnostic. We started dating and he went to church off and on with his family so I got away with saying he went to church for my parent's sake. I am so glad that I said yes to him because we are absolutely perfect for each other. When I went to college, I went to the movies, I listened to Radiohead and Vampire Weekend and anyone I liked the sound of, I watched R-rated movies and TV shows that I would never have been allowed to watch at home like Breaking Bad, I was able to laugh at dirty jokes with my roommate, I am about to start reading Harry Potter. And I am really really happy. 

 

It's amazing how much legalism can hold you back from enjoying being alive. Funny how Jesus actually hated the original legalists--the Pharisees--and yet, some parts of Christianity have made legalism their end-all.

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Your parents can say what goes in their house.  Once you are out, and  if they try to give you grief or threaten you...simply remind them what the legalities...but on a side note, beware...they COULD say...don't come back to our house.  

 

Spend more time with friends and less time around the parents.

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Oh yeah... I was taught Halloween was the work of the devil too! I didn't get to dress up and then later didn't attend Halloween parties as a teenager. Dressing up as witches and vampires isn't a laughing matter people!

 

Oh and ditto the not being allowed to watch Sabrina and various other exciting looking TV shows with witches in, though they eased off a bit as I got older. Maybe they thought if I watched witchy shows when I was young I'd grow up to become one. Alas their efforts didn't work and I now dance naked under the moon sacrificing goats to Satan whenever I'm not busy hexing people and growing warts on my nose.

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Your parents can say what goes in their house.  Once you are out, and  if they try to give you grief or threaten you...simply remind them what the legalities...but on a side note, beware...they COULD say...don't come back to our house.  

 

They could indeed.

 

What kind of parent does this to their kid they grow up try to keep doing it and doesn't expect that their kid will even want to come home.

 

Parents!!! If you enjoy your childs time don't treat them like one as an adult and expect them to give you their time. Don't forget they had no choice in being born or who their parents where but they will not choose you over freedom if all you ever do is deny them freedom as a youth. You hurt them and you doing this. If they never make their own mistakes as kids they will make them as adults when most of them will be almost impossible to recover from. I know I made some as a kid that I would never have come back from as an adult and was so very happy I already had learned those lessons.

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