Facebook Disappointment

[Margee]

 

LOL! Margee!

 

Facebook is both a blessing and a curse. Only you can decide what to make it/let it be. I personally have found that Facebook is the new phone book. At a minimum, it's good to "hang out a shingle" to exist digitally. It's crazy but it seems to be the way of the world!

 

I cannot say I agree with this logic as a person. As a business sure but it does not follow what I would call a safe practice online for your digital footprint. Of course that is not a reason not to have one over personal preference. Just be careful it is far easier to hack a facebook account than most people realize and if you have enemies and they know I would watch out. I could teach anyone that has basic computer skill to do it in three different ways in about an hour. Not sure why anyone would risk breaking federal law over it but people do all the time.

 

Gall what are you talking about here????

[Positivist]

 

LOL! Margee!

 

Facebook is both a blessing and a curse. Only you can decide what to make it/let it be. I personally have found that Facebook is the new phone book. At a minimum, it's good to "hang out a shingle" to exist digitally. It's crazy but it seems to be the way of the world!

 

I cannot say I agree with this logic as a person. As a business sure but it does not follow what I would call a safe practice online for your digital footprint. Of course that is not a reason not to have one over personal preference. Just be careful it is far easier to hack a facebook account than most people realize and if you have enemies and they know I would watch out. I could teach anyone that has basic computer skill to do it in three different ways in about an hour. Not sure why anyone would risk breaking federal law over it but people do all the time.

 

True, one must be careful and most people are not. I personally don't 'live' on facebook; I only hang out a shingle and throw out the odd benign photo to keep "friends" happy.

[gall]

 

 

LOL! Margee!

 

Facebook is both a blessing and a curse. Only you can decide what to make it/let it be. I personally have found that Facebook is the new phone book. At a minimum, it's good to "hang out a shingle" to exist digitally. It's crazy but it seems to be the way of the world!

 

I cannot say I agree with this logic as a person. As a business sure but it does not follow what I would call a safe practice online for your digital footprint. Of course that is not a reason not to have one over personal preference. Just be careful it is far easier to hack a facebook account than most people realize and if you have enemies and they know I would watch out. I could teach anyone that has basic computer skill to do it in three different ways in about an hour. Not sure why anyone would risk breaking federal law over it but people do all the time.

 

Gall what are you talking about here????

 

 

I am talking about being careful where and when you access your account. It is far easier than most laymen would like to believe to grab someones account. Far far easier. It isn't just clicking links either. I don't want to go into more detail here. Look up the words sslstrip on youtube if you want to see one way it can be done.

 

I had to learn about this in a security class I had and this was one way we learned about a certain concept in so called secure "https" pages. It took my instructor 120 seconds to hack a page in class that he had permission to use for that purpose. I changed the password myself personally 5 minutes before he used it and he had access to it in less than 5 minutes after. It does take the user paying no attention but that happens often. The most successful modern day attacks against users start generally as a social engineering trick. Be careful is all I am saying. In a world where employers look at this stuff and will try to find out who you are like that I would try and keep it all locked up tight. Trust no one on the internet. Not even my in saying this. Go find out by researching. You won't like what you find.

[RipVanWinkle]

Margee: The following is just marginally related to this thread but it helps me make a point about you.

 

I was in a jury trial one time against a very skilled trial attorney, well known throughout the state. We were doing voir dire (jury selection) and this attorney (whom I will call Joe)was questioning

potential jurors. He represented the defense in a medical malpractice suit. JOe asked one potential

juror, if he believed that the evidence favored the defense would he be able to withstand the other

jurors if they were for the plaintiff? Would he stand strong with his opinion? The prospective juror

said: "Well,if the five other reasonable men and women on the jury were for the plaintiff, I would have to take a close look at my opinion to make certain my thinking was not wrong." Joe said: "I agree. But what if there were 5 unreasonable men and women?" It was very funny at the time.

 

Well, I'm thinking that if you are in a FB in which you are getting no or little positive feedback, you must be with one in which there are thousands of unreasonable members. bill

[midniterider]

For many years, my family and friends has been wanting me to register on Facebook and it has never interested me for some reason. I didn't even know what the reason was???   I just wasn't interested.

 

Ex-c has been my 'Facebook'. I was always so happy with the interaction here and all the discussions that I felt it filled most of my 'needs' for communicating my happy and sad days. Ex-c has always come through for me.

 

Anyway, I finally did it. I now have 55 friends which include some of my cousins, family and friends that I never get to see.

 

The very first night, I had a friend mail me and welcome me. When I wrote back and said thanks and made a joke about being able to say what I want, he wrote me back made it clear that I wouldn't be doing it on his 'wall' and he de-friended me within an hour????  This is a person I see around town. Just like that!! (mind you everyone around town thinks he's an asshole), but still it hurt my feelings a lot.

 

 Well, so far, I have only received one 'personal' note and that was from my half sister (who I've never been close to because we grew up with distance between us. She is much younger than me and I really did not play a part in her life. She wanted to tell me what a disappointment I've been as a 'half sister'. Then my  own girl told me yesterday to not even call her on the phone anymore because it was just as easy for me to send her a message on Facebook. It has already taken me a half hour to type this because I am a 2 finger 'typer'. How am I supposed to have a conversation with her? It would take me hours. None of my long lost cousins have written to me and I sent them all a note??

 

 Most do not know about my deconversion from Christianity and I have no intention to stir a 'hornets nest' on Facebook so I  just sit there and read. But read what? Foolish things that come in that I'm not one bit interested in (lots of god stuff)  It's the same 'stuff' that clutters up my own personal inbox that irritates me.

 

Nobody seems excited about me being there at all. What a blow to the ego!! Even some old time friends that I tried to contact haven't sent me a personal message yet? and these are people who played a significant part in my life at some points. I was excited to find them but I haven't heard anything back.

 

And  most of you guys know me. I've already been hitting the like' button just to validate that I read the material they sent. I love to give 'points' out. Well I've already been told that hitting the 'like' button gets on everyone's nerves?

 

I really don't understand the benefits of Facebook besides finding the old friend that you would like to talk with again.

 

Am I the only one who feels this way about Facebook? I know we have had a thread going about all the god stuff on Facebook, but what about the general disappointment. Do you, who belong, get nice messages from your friends wanting to wish you a nice day? I'm not sure what I was expecting, but I feel very disappointed? Maybe I was expecting way too much, but I find it very impersonal. Is something wrong with me that I find Facebook a disappointment?

 

It seems that FB started out with people writing messages and sharing what they are doing with everyone. But anymore people probably have realized that they were oversharing so now 90% of what I get are meme pics with funny (or angry) captions, some attempting to guilt you into reposting them, non-fact checked stories, lots of stupid stuff. After reading about so-and-so's 12 year old daughter's thousandth competition nobody cares anymore. Then there are the vaguebookers..."I can't believe that happened...FML." And let's not forget the person who posts something about his favorite hobby (Christianity? Gun ownership?) day after day. I've blocked a couple Christians who post anti-Obama stuff or Jebus stuff like every other day. Give it a rest, people! 

 

The problem with social media is that people weren't meant to have that much daily personal information about friends and loved ones. It grates on the nerves. And if they don't really have something interesting to say they feel compelled to post anyway.

 

The people here appreciate you Margee even if the Facebookers don't. :-)

[Margee]

I swear you guys are some of the bestest unknown friends I've ever had. The response from my Ex-c friends has made my whole year!! My year has been very hard and I haven't shared it on the board. I really needed this boost today. Thank you... all of you......you crazzzzzzzzy bunch of Ex-cer's who I have come to adore!!

[Chikirin]

Facebook is what you make it. As in real life, some people are assholes, and as in real life - YOU DON"T HAVE TO INTERACT WITH THEM!

 

But should you choose to interact with assholes, I am now your Facebook Friend!

But you DO  have to interact with them. If an asshole sends me a friend request, then I'm on the spot and I have to be mean and decline the person's request, or accept it and then have to look at his or her stupid face on my friend list. This is doesn't happen in real life, only on facebook.

[florduh]

 

Facebook is what you make it. As in real life, some people are assholes, and as in real life - YOU DON"T HAVE TO INTERACT WITH THEM!

 

But should you choose to interact with assholes, I am now your Facebook Friend!

But you DO  have to interact with them. If an asshole sends me a friend request, then I'm on the spot and I have to be mean and decline the person's request, or accept it and then have to look at his or her stupid face on my friend list. This is doesn't happen in real life, only on facebook.

 

Real life assholes will try to be part of your life, too. I've ignored dozens of "requests" in both arenas. 

[noob]

I swear you guys are some of the bestest unknown friends I've ever had. The response from my Ex-c friends has made my whole year!! My year has been very hard and I haven't shared it on the board. I really needed this boost today. Thank you... all of you......you crazzzzzzzzy bunch of Ex-cer's who I have come to adore!!

 

 

Ha!  I'm not unknown!!!  I've been lucky enough to hug your sweet neck!  Margee, watching you on Facebook today has been soooooooo much fun!!!  Knowing how much it means to you makes me very, very happy!  Hugs!!!!!!!! 

[Galien]

Facebook can be as annoying as hell, i have had to de-face (as my mate calls it) christians, positive thinkers and their bloody annoying cheesy pics, old friends with mental illnesses who keep telling me that a. god loves me and they love me, and b. i am going to hell for having a boyfriend

 

if you want to friend me my email address is bluegurl2811@hotmail.com

[kolaida]

Yeah, I know what you mean.  Facebook can be kind of disappointing. I seem to have a really weird mix of friends posting on facebook; a few that are constantly posting super happy pictures and their life looks so great from just the facebook profile and then a couple that always sound on the verge of throwing themselves off a cliff. Then there's a few who seem pretty in between those extremes.  Some family members mostly "share" stuff, generally either really spiritual or go have a great day, Monday sucks, etc.  I did sign up ("like") for the CAA: Cats Anonymous Addicts, so I have a ton of cat pictures in my newsfeed also, as well as George Takei, I fucking love science, and No Hope for the Human Race. 

 

Most people just generally post to facebook when "happy" stuff happens in life and leave out the bad stuff (not always, though).  I know it can be disappointing when you post something and no responds or "likes" it, but with facebook, like most else it's good to get a tough skin about it. Most of times I'll still text my friends or family if something big happens. 

 

Also, why would anyone complain about what YOU like? If THEY have a problem with it, THEY can adjust THEIR settings. You can like whatever you want!! It's YOUR facebook page. And some guys are just assholes, so what if you posted on his wall? He can get over it and he could have easily deleted it and just asked you to private message him. Anybody with a clue knows that people who are new to facebook don't get it right away; it IS confusing when you first sign up. 

 

If you ever want to, you can take a break from facebook by temporarily disabling your profile, you don't have to permanently delete it.  If you do decide you want to "go off the grid" permanently, that is when you should delete it (but make sure you have saved your photos elsewhere and the tagged photos might not be removed permanently from facebook, but your tag in it should).  I mostly use it because I traveled for a year, working at seasonal jobs, so I have a lot of transient friends, also with my family being military, I have a lot of friends in different areas AND I live pretty far from all my family and relatives so it's the most convenient way to keep up with some of them.  When I did live near my family, I didn't really use it all that often. 

 

Facebook really is oversharing, though.  I look at it and scroll through just because. Some of my friends post things of interest and sometimes I chat with them on the facebook chat.  I mostly use it to play Candy Crush Saga, though. LOL But be careful, that game is addictive! 

 

Also, it is really rude that someone would no longer want to talk to you on the phone. Facebook messaging and phone chat are way different. Just tell her it's too hard on your fingers or something. She can't expect everyone to be super fast at typing and even if you were, so what? I'm a pretty fast typer, but I still prefer phone conversation; tone of voice is a large part of conversation as well especially with someone you know.  The internet does make people colder and meaner because they aren't confronting you face to face so keep that in mind when using facebook or any similar social medium. 

[seeker001]

I wish you luck in the facebook world. Just be careful what you post and keep an eye on your privacy settings. Facebook is known for screwing with the settings over beer night. 

[Margee]

Yeah, I know what you mean.  Facebook can be kind of disappointing. I seem to have a really weird mix of friends posting on facebook; a few that are constantly posting super happy pictures and their life looks so great from just the facebook profile and then a couple that always sound on the verge of throwing themselves off a cliff. Then there's a few who seem pretty in between those extremes.  Some family members mostly "share" stuff, generally either really spiritual or go have a great day, Monday sucks, etc.  I did sign up ("like") for the CAA: Cats Anonymous Addicts, so I have a ton of cat pictures in my newsfeed also, as well as George Takei, I fucking love science, and No Hope for the Human Race. 

 

Most people just generally post to facebook when "happy" stuff happens in life and leave out the bad stuff (not always, though).  I know it can be disappointing when you post something and no responds or "likes" it, but with facebook, like most else it's good to get a tough skin about it. Most of times I'll still text my friends or family if something big happens. 

 

Also, why would anyone complain about what YOU like? If THEY have a problem with it, THEY can adjust THEIR settings. You can like whatever you want!! It's YOUR facebook page. And some guys are just assholes, so what if you posted on his wall? He can get over it and he could have easily deleted it and just asked you to private message him. Anybody with a clue knows that people who are new to facebook don't get it right away; it IS confusing when you first sign up. 

 

If you ever want to, you can take a break from facebook by temporarily disabling your profile, you don't have to permanently delete it.  If you do decide you want to "go off the grid" permanently, that is when you should delete it (but make sure you have saved your photos elsewhere and the tagged photos might not be removed permanently from facebook, but your tag in it should).  I mostly use it because I traveled for a year, working at seasonal jobs, so I have a lot of transient friends, also with my family being military, I have a lot of friends in different areas AND I live pretty far from all my family and relatives so it's the most convenient way to keep up with some of them.  When I did live near my family, I didn't really use it all that often. 

 

Facebook really is oversharing, though.  I look at it and scroll through just because. Some of my friends post things of interest and sometimes I chat with them on the facebook chat.  I mostly use it to play Candy Crush Saga, though. LOL But be careful, that game is addictive! 

 

Also, it is really rude that someone would no longer want to talk to you on the phone. Facebook messaging and phone chat are way different. Just tell her it's too hard on your fingers or something. She can't expect everyone to be super fast at typing and even if you were, so what? I'm a pretty fast typer, but I still prefer phone conversation; tone of voice is a large part of conversation as well especially with someone you know.  The internet does make people colder and meaner because they aren't confronting you face to face so keep that in mind when using facebook or any similar social medium. 

 

Kolaida.....you truly are an angel. That was some great feedback for me.

 

Funny thing with the first night and my 'not friend'... 'defriending' me is that  I (and many others in our community) do not like this person at all. I stay so far away from him, you wouldn't believe it. When he sent me a message, I was completely stunned so I responded like nice Margee does to be polite. I made a joke about posting whatever I wanted to and that's when he sent me a note that said.. ''Not on my wall'' and then he was gone from my 'friends page''. I cried. I wanted to go over to his place (but I respect his wife too much) and punch him where it hurts a man the most. I was hurt and insulted by him. Everyone around here loves his wife so we are all very careful. He is the most arrogant man I have ever met in my life. It took a whole day to get over it. I have to 'toughen up'!!!!

 

Thank you so much sweetheart for the input today. I really appreciate you!!

[kolaida]

 

Yeah, I know what you mean.  Facebook can be kind of disappointing. I seem to have a really weird mix of friends posting on facebook; a few that are constantly posting super happy pictures and their life looks so great from just the facebook profile and then a couple that always sound on the verge of throwing themselves off a cliff. Then there's a few who seem pretty in between those extremes.  Some family members mostly "share" stuff, generally either really spiritual or go have a great day, Monday sucks, etc.  I did sign up ("like") for the CAA: Cats Anonymous Addicts, so I have a ton of cat pictures in my newsfeed also, as well as George Takei, I fucking love science, and No Hope for the Human Race. 

 

Most people just generally post to facebook when "happy" stuff happens in life and leave out the bad stuff (not always, though).  I know it can be disappointing when you post something and no responds or "likes" it, but with facebook, like most else it's good to get a tough skin about it. Most of times I'll still text my friends or family if something big happens. 

 

Also, why would anyone complain about what YOU like? If THEY have a problem with it, THEY can adjust THEIR settings. You can like whatever you want!! It's YOUR facebook page. And some guys are just assholes, so what if you posted on his wall? He can get over it and he could have easily deleted it and just asked you to private message him. Anybody with a clue knows that people who are new to facebook don't get it right away; it IS confusing when you first sign up. 

 

If you ever want to, you can take a break from facebook by temporarily disabling your profile, you don't have to permanently delete it.  If you do decide you want to "go off the grid" permanently, that is when you should delete it (but make sure you have saved your photos elsewhere and the tagged photos might not be removed permanently from facebook, but your tag in it should).  I mostly use it because I traveled for a year, working at seasonal jobs, so I have a lot of transient friends, also with my family being military, I have a lot of friends in different areas AND I live pretty far from all my family and relatives so it's the most convenient way to keep up with some of them.  When I did live near my family, I didn't really use it all that often. 

 

Facebook really is oversharing, though.  I look at it and scroll through just because. Some of my friends post things of interest and sometimes I chat with them on the facebook chat.  I mostly use it to play Candy Crush Saga, though. LOL But be careful, that game is addictive! 

 

Also, it is really rude that someone would no longer want to talk to you on the phone. Facebook messaging and phone chat are way different. Just tell her it's too hard on your fingers or something. She can't expect everyone to be super fast at typing and even if you were, so what? I'm a pretty fast typer, but I still prefer phone conversation; tone of voice is a large part of conversation as well especially with someone you know.  The internet does make people colder and meaner because they aren't confronting you face to face so keep that in mind when using facebook or any similar social medium. 

 

Kolaida.....you truly are an angel. That was some great feedback for me.

 

Funny thing with the first night and my 'not friend'... 'defriending' me is that  I (and many others in our community) do not like this person at all. I stay so far away from him, you wouldn't believe it. When he sent me a message, I was completely stunned so I responded like nice Margee does to be polite. I made a joke about posting whatever I wanted to and that's when he sent me a note that said.. ''Not on my wall'' and then he was gone from my 'friends page''. I cried. I wanted to go over to his place (but I respect his wife too much) and punch him where it hurts a man the most. I was hurt and insulted by him. Everyone around here loves his wife so we are all very careful. He is the most arrogant man I have ever met in my life. It took a whole day to get over it. I have to 'toughen up'!!!!

 

Thank you so much sweetheart for the input today. I really appreciate you!!

 

 

Awww! Thanks! 

 

That man sounds really terrible! Maybe he thought you knew some secret about him and were actually threatening him. He might not have realized you were joking. At any rate, it sounds like it was better to get this guy out of the way sooner rather than later as it seems it would have happened one way or the other. He seems way too uptight if he couldn't take a simple joke over facebook!! 

 

I really appreciate you, Margee!   I like reading your threads and posts! Don't let facebook get you down.  You can use it to practice being tougher. Also, keep in mind, a lot of the stuff there is not fact-checked, stories are made up all the time, and photomanipulation is everywhere you look. It's really quite crazy. 

[Lerk]

I really enjoyed it at first. I connected with people I hadn't seen since high school in the 70s, and joined a group set up for people from my graduating class and anther from my hometown. It was neat seeing pictures that people posted from the old days.

 

I set up my privacy s that people only see on my wall what I personally post or share, not when people "tag" me, so my wall looks pretty empty to most people.

 

You can ignore people without unfriending them, so I have ignored people who either post religious stuff all of the time, or else post after post after post after post about their problems.

 

I'm "over" the high school thing. There's a reason I hadn't kept up all of these years. I do enjoy reading what a few people post, but I didn't go to the reunion a couple of weeks ago.

 

I even connected with some second cousins. (I have no first cousins.) That was neat, since I felt like I had more family.

 

But the only reason I stay on now is that one of my sons and his wife are on. The other son and his wife are not. Disappearing makes it look like something's wrong, and I don't want to give that impression.

 

A lot of people may not respond because they just aren't that active. I've never seen people complain about too much clicking like... That's just weird. How do they even notice?

 

Anyway, use it when you want, but no more. Don't feel obligated.

[Galien]

One of my "friends" who is on FB told me on the weekend about my boyfriend who is a lot younger than me "you dont think he is really there because he loves you do you, you are only free accommodation while he goes to university". With friends like that who needs enemies.

[midniterider]

I usually just look at my newsfeed and scoff at the crap that people post. Then an hour later do it again. FB really is that old definition of insanity. Expecting FB to fulfill some entertainment need, then failing, over and over again. lol.

[BendyLine]

Facebook is a strange animal. I would have deleted it years ago, except that it's pretty much my sole manner of communicating with some good online friends that I've made over the years. My rule of thumb is just to not say stupid shit. 

 

How does one get in on this ex-C FB page?

 

Also, Galien, I sent you a friend request... I'm the guy with a white rat on his shoulder. XD

[stryper]

just send me a message either here or on facebook.   Christian Falde. 

[TrueFreedom]

electech98 created a hidden group a long time ago.  I think that it may have been on the facebook coming out thread.

[Margee]

just send me a message either here or on facebook.   Christian Falde. 

 

I asked you to be my friend stryper.......... You already are of course......

 

 

I'm very happy now that I have my Ex-c members as my friends. It makes Facebook much more interesting this week.

Thanks to everyone who made this a nice thing for me.

 

Sincerely

Margee/Donna

[RenaissanceWoman]

I am not on FB for many reasons, but the main thing is... If someone really wants to find me for real reasons, they can do so. My father still has the same phone number I had as a kid. My sister (only a year older than me, so all my old friends know her) still lives in my same hometown, and has had the same phone number for 25 years. I have lived in my house (600 miles from my hometown) with my same phone number for 18 years now. My point is... I am not moving around, and neither is my family, so if someone wants to find me, it's only a phone call away. This is how I got invited to a high school reunion, and got a few birthday/Christmas cards from favorite aunts/uncles. Other than that, I don't care about any of those other people or I would have tried to find them or they would have tried to find me. I don't need FB to reconnect me with people I don't really care about, or are too lazy to find me if they really want me.

 

Oh, and as far as current people in my life... face-to-face, phone, email, snail mail. All more personal, and all more real, and all working just fine.

[R. S. Martin]

I don't trust Facebook so I use it mainly only for posting photographs I want to share when I go on a photography stint, which happens every so often. Pics of nature, flowers, trees, clouds, etc. is what I post. One or two people always click "like." Half my friends see Facebook as superficial, so they they're not on it. My family, and people from my youth don't have internet access so Facebook doesn't really work for me the way it was invented to work--to help reconnect with old friends and family. It did help me connect with my nephew who left the horse and buggy church, when my family seemed determined to keep me away from him. That was a satisfaction.

[mwc]

     I signed up for FB because I wanted a coupon.  I then wanted a second coupon.  I then realized the whole thing existed to spy/advertise on/to me and never bothered with it (I didn't delete it but never put in any information).  I never friended anyone or did anything because I didn't want to have those connection known to a bunch of anonymous spamvertisers and whoknowswhats.  Then when FB did their IPO and said they were doing what I thought I felt vindicated and then when the NSA was caught with their hand in the cookie jar I felt even better.  I see no reason to use some system so people can just track me and others I might know (and I was interested in the super secret FB thing some time ago but I just can't bring myself to go there for that either).

 

          mwc

[Ro-bear]

I like Facebook.  It has helped me find old friends and keep up with extended family.  I'm sorry your experience has been so negative, Margee, and I hope it gets better.