Fresh Wounds & Family Issues

[Mycroft]

Hello beautiful people,

 

I’m back and still going strong.

 

It’s been two weeks since I posted my story on this forum. Thanks, to everybody who decided to reply. All of your comments touched my heart. I really needed, and need, your opinions to make a fresh start.

 

Today I figured it might be a good idea to tell you something about how things went the past two weeks. I stayed the night at my friend’s after telling my parents about my religious opinion, and went back home roughly 24 hours later. I was a little scared, but back home everybody kind of minded themselves, and that was fine. My parents only mentioned the subject of my “betrayal” in the prayers before and after dinner. “Please let us have the strength to listen to your voice without questioning it.” Things like that.  It went like that for a week.

 

After a week my mom was standing in the bathroom while I was brushing my teeth. I hate moments like that. They are excellent moments for a talk that I don’t want to have. My mom started with the simple question: “How are you now?” I responded with: “Fine. I’m honestly fine.” She said: “Well, I’m not. I’ve had very little sleep last week.” I was already packing to go to the same friend again. I’m running from these kinds of conversations.

I explained her how I couldn’t believe something that people had told me.

 

“The beliefs you have are just stories. Old stories. Imperfect stories. Made up lies. If they happen to be true, I very much welcome the almighty to come and tell me that they are, in person. Not by the words of men.”

 

In response she gave me a little book that she took out of one of her religious magazines. It’s Called “listening to Gods voice.” She wants me to read it. I haven’t done it yet. It has just been laying there for a week, staring at me.

 

I told some people in church that I wont be going to church anymore. Some are baffled, some are angry, some are jealous. It’s really amazing how many people just go to church because they are told to. I expect more to follow my lead after I make the public announcement that I’ll be leaving the church.

 

My dad likes to confront me with the lack of spirituality in my life since I stopped going to church. I don’t want to tell him that I meditate and watch documentaries about Christian mythology when they are off to commune though. I wonder if they’ll ever see how abandoning the lies is the first step of getting to the truth. I don’t want them to interfere. Not as Christians. But my dad keeps on trying.

 

“I want to have a little talk with you, because I don’t like the way things are going right now. It’s not that I want to account you for anything, it’s just that you’re only minding yourself right now, just like you have done all these years. I want to get into that head of yours.”

 

People on this forum have warned me for “the talk,” and with good reason.

 

I can’t blame him for wanting to talk though. He teaches kids in a special education, and so this is what he does for a living. Trying to understand children. And now he just lost track of his very own child. It must be very confusing for him. On the other hand I really don’t want to talk to him. For some reason my parents are the only people in the world that will never be able to understand to how I got to my conclusions. I need to find a solution for that. Help!

 

However, they were right about the hole in my spiritual life. All this time I was so busy resisting and breaking free from it all that I never really had the time to sort out not just what I don’t believe, but what I DO believe. I really need books or documentaries, preferably the ones that opened your eyes, the ones of my fellow ex Christians, for a new lifestyle.

 

Thanks in advance!

 

Yours truly,

 

Mycroft. 

[Margee]

I’m back and still going strong.

 

I told some people in church that I wont be going to church anymore. Some are baffled, some are angry, some are jealous. It’s really amazing how many people just go to church because they are told to. I expect more to follow my lead after I make the public announcement that I’ll be leaving the church.

 

My dad likes to confront me with the lack of spirituality in my life since I stopped going to church. I don’t want to tell him that I meditate and watch documentaries about Christian mythology when they are off to commune though. I wonder if they’ll ever see how abandoning the lies is the first step of getting to the truth. I don’t want them to interfere. Not as Christians. But my dad keeps on trying.

 

“I want to have a little talk with you, because I don’t like the way things are going right now. It’s not that I want to account you for anything, it’s just that you’re only minding yourself right now, just like you have done all these years. I want to get into that head of yours.”

 

However, they were right about the hole in my spiritual life. All this time I was so busy resisting and breaking free from it all that I never really had the time to sort out not just what I don’t believe, but what I DO believe. I really need books or documentaries, preferably the ones that opened your eyes, the ones of my fellow ex Christians, for a new lifestyle.

 

Thanks in advance!

 

Yours truly,

 

Mycroft. 

 

Mycroft, how good to see you again! It seems that we really 'deep thinkers' are few amongst the believers of the world. I have come to the conclusion that most of the time, you cannot 'talk' someone out of their faith and why they choose to believe. It seems to be a waste of precious time. It would have been with me when I was very strong in the church. Most people who are questioning their faith start sneaking on the internet to have their questions answered and many land here at Ex-c like I did. If your parents are not questioning their faith, any of the 'answers' you provide will be in vain.

 

It's sounds like you've come a long way. I'm so happy to hear that. When my world view fell apart, I researched absolutely everything I could on the internet for another type of spiritual walk. Something - anything that would fill the dark hole of emptiness that was there. I think many can come instantly to the conclusion of atheism and lots go looking for another path. We have quite a few threads on spirituality. Of course, you are welcome to read as many atheists books that are now being published. Many, many people are coming out of the closet. Some of them very famous!

 

Take your time. You are now allowed to venture anywhere you want. You will eventually come to a peaceful spiritual path that may work for you or you could become a tranquil atheist - totally comfortable with that. Stay here with us and share your deep concerns. Take a big breath!! You are now to embark on a brand new journey that is exciting and scary at the same time! We're here for ya' my friend!!

 

Sincerely, Margee

[Blue elephant]

Mycroft

 

A lot of the incidents you are describing with your family are what is called emotional blackmail-like you relinquished your beliefs in order to upset your mum?

 

There have been quite a number of young people on these boards that have gone thru this with their families. In general it seems best not to push your departure from their world view on them-just creates more tension for you and for them. I like what you said about ducking off to a mates for a while to steer clear of the emotional crap.

 

Hopefully things will improve for you over time. In general, things either calm down or the young person manages to move some distance away from their family, so that life can be lived how you want to live it.

[DrNo]

I don't know if you are an atheist or simply an ex-christian, but I find that there are more atheists on this site than spiritualists, so I will attempt to respond as if you were an atheist. I believe it was Sam Harris who once said that "atheism" shouldn't even be a word, much like there is no word for people who don't believe in unicorns or fairies. It is a word that describes what one does not believe in, not what one does believe in. The latter is something that ultimately you will need to decide for yourself. Some atheists have embraced quasi-spiritual traditions like Buddhism without necessarily believing in gods or spirit. Others embrace secular humanism, which is a philosophy of care and concern for others based on advancing the human race as a whole. Still others become hedonists or nihilists or many other various philosophies that don't depend on the existence of god.

 

The point is, you and you alone get to decide what brings meaning to your life. You don't have to have that figured out today, either. Take your time to explore these different ways of life and see what fits you. Really a simple Youtube or google search will probably lead you to the types of things that you are looking for. But take your time and recognize that recognizing one answer to be false does not automatically validate any other answer.

 

One last thing: What do you mean by "hole in your spiritual life," exactly? What is a spirit, and how do you know if there is a hole for it? How do you differentiate between a "spiritual hole" and emotional pain?

[Mycroft]

One last thing: What do you mean by "hole in your spiritual life," exactly? What is a spirit, and how do you know if there is a hole for it? How do you differentiate between a "spiritual hole" and emotional pain?

 

With the term "spiritual life" I referred to my search for the meaning of life. That's what life is about for me right now. I'm looking for some sort of substitute for christianity. Maybe I'll find out that life doesn't have a purpose along the way and turn into an atheist, who knows. But for now, I believe that there is some sort of mysterious purpose to this crazy rollercoaster, and I want to find out what it is. That is a quest I started way before I jumped for freedom, and not so much an answer for the current lack of emotional stability in my family. 

[DrNo]

Maybe I'll find out that life doesn't have a purpose along the way and turn into an atheist, who knows.

 

I hear what you are saying. But remember that being an atheist is not the same thing as saying that life doesn't have a purpose. It just means that it does not have a purpose given to you by a divine being. Being an atheist does mean that you get to decide what life's purpose is for yourself, though.

[Mycroft]

 

I’m back and still going strong.

 

I told some people in church that I wont be going to church anymore. Some are baffled, some are angry, some are jealous. It’s really amazing how many people just go to church because they are told to. I expect more to follow my lead after I make the public announcement that I’ll be leaving the church.

 

My dad likes to confront me with the lack of spirituality in my life since I stopped going to church. I don’t want to tell him that I meditate and watch documentaries about Christian mythology when they are off to commune though. I wonder if they’ll ever see how abandoning the lies is the first step of getting to the truth. I don’t want them to interfere. Not as Christians. But my dad keeps on trying.

 

“I want to have a little talk with you, because I don’t like the way things are going right now. It’s not that I want to account you for anything, it’s just that you’re only minding yourself right now, just like you have done all these years. I want to get into that head of yours.”

 

However, they were right about the hole in my spiritual life. All this time I was so busy resisting and breaking free from it all that I never really had the time to sort out not just what I don’t believe, but what I DO believe. I really need books or documentaries, preferably the ones that opened your eyes, the ones of my fellow ex Christians, for a new lifestyle.

 

Thanks in advance!

 

Yours truly,

 

Mycroft. 

 

Mycroft, how good to see you again! It seems that we really 'deep thinkers' are few amongst the believers of the world. I have come to the conclusion that most of the time, you cannot 'talk' someone out of their faith and why they choose to believe. It seems to be a waste of precious time. It would have been with me when I was very strong in the church. Most people who are questioning their faith start sneaking on the internet to have their questions answered and many land here at Ex-c like I did. If your parents are not questioning their faith, any of the 'answers' you provide will be in vain.

 

It's sounds like you've come a long way. I'm so happy to hear that. When my world view fell apart, I researched absolutely everything I could on the internet for another type of spiritual walk. Something - anything that would fill the dark hole of emptiness that was there. I think many can come instantly to the conclusion of atheism and lots go looking for another path. We have quite a few threads on spirituality. Of course, you are welcome to read as many atheists books that are now being published. Many, many people are coming out of the closet. Some of them very famous!

 

Take your time. You are now allowed to venture anywhere you want. You will eventually come to a peaceful spiritual path that may work for you or you could become a tranquil atheist - totally comfortable with that. Stay here with us and share your deep concerns. Take a big breath!! You are now to embark on a brand new journey that is exciting and scary at the same time! We're here for ya' my friend!!

 

Sincerely, Margee

 

 

 

Margee, I never thanked you, but then again, I can't thank you enough for your warm comments! 

[Mycroft]

Mycroft

 

A lot of the incidents you are describing with your family are what is called emotional blackmail-like you relinquished your beliefs in order to upset your mum?

 

There have been quite a number of young people on these boards that have gone thru this with their families. In general it seems best not to push your departure from their world view on them-just creates more tension for you and for them. I like what you said about ducking off to a mates for a while to steer clear of the emotional crap.

 

Hopefully things will improve for you over time. In general, things either calm down or the young person manages to move some distance away from their family, so that life can be lived how you want to live it.

 

Hola Australia, 

 

Thank you for the clear and sober perspective. I try to shut up as much as I can about my world view. It has never been my family's battle, and it hasn't become theirs all of a sudden now that I told them about it. They try to interfere all the time though. My parents believe that I'm on a lost path, and all they want to do is make me see that and adjust my course. Things haven't really calmed down. In fact, it almost starts to feel like their battle is against me instead of about me. 

[WaitingInfinity]

When I deconverted, I did what Margee did, researching anything and everything I could get my hands on. I found this site first, thank goodness, but I've also found interesting blogs like Godless in Dixie, A Pasta Sea, Does God Heal Amputees?, and etc. I also watch YouTube videos from DarkMatter2525 and apologetics arguments. 

 

Even though I am only atheistic towards the Christian God and open to other sorts of gods, these sites and videos were great in showing the stupidity of the Christian God.

 

I also am starting studies of other faiths. Right now, I am looking at Buddhism and Baha'i for alternative world views.

[florduh]

 I'm looking for some sort of substitute for christianity.

 

Why? That's like looking for a substitute for testicular cancer.

 

The concept that there is an intrinsic meaning to existence comes from religion. Of course each religion or spiritual system claims to have the answers for you. In reality, we have to make our own meaning and purpose.

[RipVanWinkle]

" For some reason my parents are the only people in the world that will never be able to understand to

how I got to my conclusions. I need to find a solution for that. Help!" Mycroft

 

No, your parents aren't the only ones who will never understand how you arrived at your conclusions.

Very few Xtians will. And those only because they already have doubts.

 

 

They have asked you to read a book. Great. Make a bargain with them. You read their if they will read

your book. And then discuss it together. (However, discussing it may not be a good idea if your pretty

sure it will not go anywhere.)

 

Even though the idea of you sharing a book of your choice and a book of their choice may sound good to you (it is certainly a reasonable approach), it is a long shot at best. True believers have put up a

barrier impossible to break unless they allow it. They have to be ready and they are only ready if they have their own doubts. And even that is no guaranty. But I suppose there is a chance that something

will click while they are reading your selected book. It's tough, I know. I've been through it with a

family member myself. Good luck to you. bill

[pawn]

Existence had no meaning whatsoever: it just is. Fucking PERIOD. It is what it is. Heck, even God says in the bible.."I AM WHAT I AM." That's it, that is all the meaning you will ever find. I spent 30 years as a serious hardcore spiritual seeker looking desperately for some sort of "meaning" in life. And you know what I found????

LIFE... It's its own meaning. So LIVE!!!

 

And get a job and get away from your parents ASAP! You'll fucking love it. I moved out at 19 and never looked back.

[Mycroft]

I spent 30 years as a serious hardcore spiritual seeker looking desperately for some sort of "meaning" in life. And you know what I found????

LIFE... It's its own meaning. So LIVE!!!

 

I seriously hope it's not so... You just summarized the book preacher. 

[Journey]

Mycroft,, I've been on both sides of what you are going through. I've been the worried christian/fundamentalist parent afraid that her sons are heading down the wrong path of life and couldn't understand how they could throw away all the christian worldview we'd raised them in. However, now I'm in that place myself! Don't give up hope that maybe something you've said or something you've questioned in front of your parents will eventually cause them to 'seek' the answers and find that you were actually right... as I did!  As my sons came into their later teen years and then university they said to me , "Christians are so judgemental!" and " Why are you so narrow minded about science and evolution?, the bible is just a book written by men"  I was defensive at first but eventually thought, if god is who I believed him to be then he can't be afraid of the big questions - I'm sure there are answers to their valid questions and comments. That is when I began to research into the history of the bible , I knew the bible inside out but as a believer you seem to have this cloak over your eyes and understanding so that logic and reasoning is cast aside. At this point, I started with an open mind and I was surprised at what I found!  Thus began the unravelling of my faith as I realised that if the bible really wasn't inerrant, what else was I beliveing that was untrue. I have amazing and thought provoking conversations with my sons now altho, my husband has still never begun to question, nor will he let himself so I find myself on the other side and it is not always a very comfortable position to be in.  

You are fortunate to have begun your questioning at such a young age ... your whole life is ahead of you! You never know, your parents may also have their eyes open some day but as others have said, it has to be at their initiation but don't stop questioning.

[Mimimom]

Hi Mycroft,

I'm new here too so I don't have all the answers either, but I would just echo what the others have said about reading everything you can get your hands on. I would encourage you to read up on both sides, and maybe even give your mother the gift of reading the book she gave you. On my deconversion process I wanted to be fair so I studied both sides, and I found that reading the christian and apologetic books just really solidified my disbelief...none of it made any logical sense to me. And it would show you mother that you are sincere, not just blowing christianity off because you're being rebellious, but because you truly don't believe it. And of course reading up on the history of christianity and the myths of jesus and the bible as well as studying evolution will continue to open your eyes to what christianity and this world of ours is really all about. Being really solid on all of the facts will help if/when you do start to have these talks with people. Maybe start with the post on references for new ex christians under the FAQ board...I found alot of good articles and book recommendations there. I'm sorry for what you're going through with your parents...they are probably freaking out thinking that you are going to be living a horrible, sinful life just because you don't believe. I think the best thing that you could do would just be to show them you are the same person you've always been, that you still love them, and that nothing is changing except your beliefs. 

 

As far as your new purpose in life, that is the fun part...you get to decide what gives your life meaning, and since you are young, you have so much to look forward to ahead of you. In christianity, you're taught that you're a horrible sinner that deserves hell and your purpose in life is to worship and glorify the god that saved you from that fate and everything you do in this life should be with eternity in mind. I honestly don't understand why that is so appealing to so many people. And it is a big lie that life has no meaning without god or eternity.Your life means something to you, it means something to your family and friends and it will mean something to your possible future family. As for a bigger purpose or replacement for christianity, some people may need that in their life, others may not. For me, observing human suffering was a big part of what led to my deconversion, so I now see part of my purpose in life is to do my part to lesson that in whatever way I can in my little corner of the world. And the fact that we have one life to do what we will with is awesome especially living in the age that we do with such amazing technology and opportunities. One of my big passions is travel, seeing the world, so that is something that gives me fulfillment. Explore what you want to do with your life, what your interests and passions are....start thinking about what you may want to study in college. Life can be beautiful and terrible at the same time, but the best part is that your life is what you make it!

Well, good luck! Keep us updated on your progress and how it goes with your family.

[kolaida]

I AM WHO I AM.  Ironically, I think that's the closest you'll to get to discovering the meaning of life, basically meaning once you discover yourself and who you are, you can choose what you want the meaning of your life to be. Just takes a while to decide what it is. I still don't know.  But, really, it's not a definite answer, you can come to a completely different conclusion and that's life. 

 

I think that in that verse, really, I am who I am, is summing up god as in you. You are the god of your life, so to speak. 

[RaLeah]

Thank you for sharing more of your story with us. 

 

Take heart, because it WILL get easier. You're in the hardest phase right now, but it won't last forever. Over time, you'll feel more at peace, and you'll find a way to navigate conversations with your parents. Some day, you'll move out as you grow up and make your own way in the world, and that extra space will give you even more breathing room. You'll be there for your younger siblings if they go through something similar, and you'll be able to extend emotional support to them, because you'll remember what this time was like for you. 

 

It's a process, and it won't happen overnight, and you won't solve it all in a few conversations. But you'll learn how to be more confident in what you already know, and you'll be stronger at guarding your own personal boundaries and steering conversations to where you want them to go. 

 

Right now, your parents have more authority over you, they outnumber you, they're extra pushy at trying to re-convert you and using emotional manipulation, and you aren't as strong yet in your own knowledge and with your own sense of self yet. That's okay. This is just a start, and new beginnings are always hard. Changes aren't just difficult for you to go through, they're difficult for those around you who care about you. 

 

It's uncomfortable, yes, but that's okay. You can live with uncomfortable. 

 

No one else, not even your parents, have the right to your brain. Your dad may wish he could "get inside your head" but he can't. Your mind belongs to you. No one else is entitled to your thoughts. 

 

As long as your parents feel there is any hope of getting inside your head and changing you, they'll keep trying. I'd advise you to say, "I'm not going to discuss this anymore," and then don't. Repeat as necessary. You don't have to remove yourself physically or retreat to a friend's house in order to refuse to 'go there' with them in conversation. 

 

You can talk about anything else with them, and bring up lighter daily topics. Change the subject whenever you can if it veers toward religion. If they talk about being upset / sleep deprived / heartbroken, you can acknowledge their feelings and say you're sorry they feel upset, but keep their feelings about it on them. Saying, "I'm sorry you feel that way," is fine. That's their choice, their minds, their own feelings / decision / problem... not yours. Don't let them put that on you. If your dad says, "You're making your mother upset," that isn't true. She might be feeling upset, but you aren't MAKING her feel that. She's feeling that herself. Do not allow them to guilt trip YOU for THEIR emotions. It's up to them to make peace with their own uncomfortable emotions. 

 

You are probably all exhausted right now. If they try to bring religion up, you can say, "We've already discussed everything there is to say, and I don't want to talk about it anymore." Just keep repeating that until they get it. If they never do, just keep repeating it anyway: "I think we have to take a break on talking about this for a while."

 

EVERY child at some point has a barrier of privacy they need to put up with their parents when they want to pry into your private or personal thoughts. (For most kids, it's probably about their sexual lives / thoughts / activities more often than religion, but the topic can be anything a child no longer wants to share with their parents.) This is normal and healthy. 

 

Stand your ground until your parents respect your space. The more you willingly let them in and show they can still push your boundaries back with emotional blackmail, the more they'll sense that weakness and keep pushing at you. Stand firm. You can do that in a respectful way. 

 

This is all just part of becoming an independent adult. When you're a young kid, parents demand a right to ask you anything and get an honest and complete answer. Now that you're an adult, you get to decide how much you're going to tell them and whether you want to tell them anything at all. When you're a young child, your parents can demand 100% obedience to everything they say (what school to go to, whether to go to church, even what to wear or eat.) When you're an adult, you get to decide whether you'll take their advice or choose something else. 

 

Again, this is normal and healthy, but that doesn't make it easy. 

 

This is often a tough transition. But maybe you can take some comfort in the fact that it's common and that it's tough for a lot of people, and also that it does get easier and better. For what it's worth, you're doing just fine. Hang in there!

[Mycroft]

 

 I'm looking for some sort of substitute for christianity.

 

Why? That's like looking for a substitute for testicular cancer.

 

The concept that there is an intrinsic meaning to existence comes from religion. Of course each religion or spiritual system claims to have the answers for you. In reality, we have to make our own meaning and purpose.

 

 

So, what do you think I should do?

[Mycroft]

Explore what you want to do with your life, what your interests and passions are....start thinking about what you may want to study in college.

 

 

Dispite my young age and the fact that I still live with my parent's: I'm in my second year of college, studying journalism. I know what course I want to give to my life, I just want to know why this thing called 'life' is happening to me.

[questioneverything]

"I really need books or documentaries, preferably the ones that opened your eyes, the ones of my fellow ex Christians, for a new lifestyle."

 

Not sure if this is for you, or for your parents, but I'd recommend:

 

*Letter to a Christian Nation and The End of Faith, both by Sam Harris

 

*Read the 'There's a Dragon in my Garage' chapter of The Demon Haunted World, by Carl Sagan (should be able to find this online)

 

*The God Delusion, by Richard Dawkins

 

*A great one to give a current believer is Why I Believed, by Kenneth Daniels - a former missionary with Wycliffe Bible Translators

 

*HIGHLY RECOMMEND finding Citsonga's post on this website from July 31, 2011 - in it, he attaches a +/- 50 page letter to his Christian parents on why he came to disbelieve.  I've shared this with numerous friends/family members who are believers.

 

Hope you can find your way.  Once you come to terms with this life being all there is, you have to embrace it, and figure out what that means for you.  For me, it means that I want to have a positive impact on the lives of the people around me...to be a good husband, and father, and friend.  To be content, and thankful for what I have (even though Dog didn't give it to me).  And to enjoy life to the fullest, because contrary to the saying that 'Atheists have nothing to live for', in reality, we have nothing to DIE FOR, and EVERYTHING to live for! 

 

(Also, start listening to Seth Andrews' podcast called 'The Thinking Atheist'...fantastic)

[Mycroft]

"I really need books or documentaries, preferably the ones that opened your eyes, the ones of my fellow ex Christians, for a new lifestyle."

 

Not sure if this is for you, or for your parents, but I'd recommend:

 

*Letter to a Christian Nation and The End of Faith, both by Sam Harris

 

*Read the 'There's a Dragon in my Garage' chapter of The Demon Haunted World, by Carl Sagan (should be able to find this online)

 

*The God Delusion, by Richard Dawkins

 

*A great one to give a current believer is Why I Believed, by Kenneth Daniels - a former missionary with Wycliffe Bible Translators

 

*HIGHLY RECOMMEND finding Citsonga's post on this website from July 31, 2011 - in it, he attaches a +/- 50 page letter to his Christian parents on why he came to disbelieve.  I've shared this with numerous friends/family members who are believers.

 

Hope you can find your way.  Once you come to terms with this life being all there is, you have to embrace it, and figure out what that means for you.  For me, it means that I want to have a positive impact on the lives of the people around me...to be a good husband, and father, and friend.  To be content, and thankful for what I have (even though Dog didn't give it to me).  And to enjoy life to the fullest, because contrary to the saying that 'Atheists have nothing to live for', in reality, we have nothing to DIE FOR, and EVERYTHING to live for! 

 

(Also, start listening to Seth Andrews' podcast called 'The Thinking Atheist'...fantastic)

 

Solid copy! Thank you, SO MUCH!!!!

[chrisstavrous]

That was a intense read, be strong and trust yourself, because things will get better. Slowly but better and the life you will have in the end will be yours.

[RaLeah]

For reading, this was one of my favorites:

 

http://skepticsannotatedbible.com/

[chrisstavrous]

I know that website

[creative]

 

 

 I'm looking for some sort of substitute for christianity.

 

Why? That's like looking for a substitute for testicular cancer.

 

The concept that there is an intrinsic meaning to existence comes from religion. Of course each religion or spiritual system claims to have the answers for you. In reality, we have to make our own meaning and purpose.

 

 

So, what do you think I should do?

 

 

Wake up and live your life the way you want to live it.

Accept the fact that you don't know things. And may never know.

 

Do you need a noneexistance magical power to confort you in your life or are you strong enough to live your own?

Let me answer that for you: Yes you are, you made it this far already and that more then you can say for many others.

 

What is the meaning of life?

People love to make this question complicated but the answer is ridiculously easy. Its living!

 

You fight for what you love and want. You want to be a famous journalist? Then go and so something, because there is no magical power going to help you with that.. Its all up to you.. And you should be happy about that because its your life and you get to do with it what you want.

 

I personaly hate reading so i cant recommend you any books.. but i love youtube