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I'm Deeply In Love With Jesus


Guest JordanRiver

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"The bride of Christ" ugh - yes, the Bible encourages it. But, gross. I want to say, just grow up.

 

I was in love with Captain Kirk when I was 14..

 

Really?  Some females have actually found Captain Kirk attractive?

 

I wouldn't have guessed that.  I always thought he was sortof a male scifi nerd's notion of what women would/should find attractive.  I wouldn't have guessed that they got it right to any extent.

You're joking, right???

 

I mean, I'm a straight man and I even would've fucked Kirk back in the day.

 

LOL fwee. I will remember that. For sure.

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Q: what happened to jesus when he went to Mt. Olive?   A: Popeye kicked the shit outta him.

I'm deeply in love with a long-dead person who we know about only from ancient texts...   ...because I can't deal with loving a real person in the here and now?

I try very hard in my life not to judge anyone. I really do. I have spent most of my own life in some kind of delusion. When you grow up in a world that presents, Santa clause, Easter bunny, tooth fai

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But seriously, how is my love for Capt. Kirk different from the OP's love for Jesus?   Same thing.  Except at age 14 I wouldn't have been able to produce anything so pornographic.

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"The bride of Christ" ugh - yes, the Bible encourages it. But, gross. I want to say, just grow up.

 

I was in love with Captain Kirk when I was 14..

 

Really?  Some females have actually found Captain Kirk attractive?

 

I wouldn't have guessed that.  I always thought he was sortof a male scifi nerd's notion of what women would/should find attractive.  I wouldn't have guessed that they got it right to any extent.

You're joking, right???

 

I mean, I'm a straight man and I even would've fucked Kirk back in the day.

 

 

I guess we just have different tastes in men.GONZ9729CustomImage1539775.gif

 

Seriously, my wife thinks he's repulsive- and I kinda defer to her judgement on these matters.  But maybe her opinion of Kirk isn't typical- I dunno.

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I just picked a line at random:

 

       215. (Jesus:) Your love and your trust in Me thrills My soul! You fill My love cup to overflowing! You cause Me to tingle with excitement! You cause My loins to quiver with joyous tension that will soon be released in blissful lovemaking together, with Me filling you with My love, with My penis, with My rod, with My desire, with My passion, until I can contain no longer and I explode into orgasmic relief, thrilling, filling and pleasing you!—Until your vibrant, desirous, longing body is undulating with Me in pure pleasure, and we're moving together so happily, so passionately, as we are one together in spirit and soul.

 

Did you write this, JordanRiver?  I hope you and Jesus are legally married, otherwise this is a big big sin and you are going to suffer a long long time in the hot hot fire of hell.  Jesus' father is known to be quite the jealous type and just a little bit obsessed with the wrath thing.  I would be more discreet if I was you.

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Is this what "Authentic Christian Believers" are up to these days?  No wonder the churches are full.  Maybe we're missing something guys.

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I just picked a line at random:

 

       215. (Jesus:) Your love and your trust in Me thrills My soul! You fill My love cup to overflowing! You cause Me to tingle with excitement! You cause My loins to quiver with joyous tension that will soon be released in blissful lovemaking together, with Me filling you with My love, with My penis, with My rod, with My desire, with My passion, until I can contain no longer and I explode into orgasmic relief, thrilling, filling and pleasing you!—Until your vibrant, desirous, longing body is undulating with Me in pure pleasure, and we're moving together so happily, so passionately, as we are one together in spirit and soul.

 

Did you write this, JordanRiver?  I hope you and Jesus are legally married, otherwise this is a big big sin and you are going to suffer a long long time in the hot hot fire of hell.  Jesus' father is known to be quite the jealous type and just a little bit obsessed with the wrath thing.  I would be more discreet if I was you.

 

I did not write this. I found this recently, and it was amazing because Jesus and I have a similar relationship. It confirmed my beliefs, as to just how much Jesus loves me. I think God likes it that I love His Son so much, that I do not care, and do not hold back. Love knows no limits.

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I just picked a line at random:

 

       215. (Jesus:) Your love and your trust in Me thrills My soul! You fill My love cup to overflowing! You cause Me to tingle with excitement! You cause My loins to quiver with joyous tension that will soon be released in blissful lovemaking together, with Me filling you with My love, with My penis, with My rod, with My desire, with My passion, until I can contain no longer and I explode into orgasmic relief, thrilling, filling and pleasing you!—Until your vibrant, desirous, longing body is undulating with Me in pure pleasure, and we're moving together so happily, so passionately, as we are one together in spirit and soul.

 

Did you write this, JordanRiver?  I hope you and Jesus are legally married, otherwise this is a big big sin and you are going to suffer a long long time in the hot hot fire of hell.  Jesus' father is known to be quite the jealous type and just a little bit obsessed with the wrath thing.  I would be more discreet if I was you.

 

I did not write this. I found this recently, and it was amazing because Jesus and I have a similar relationship. It confirmed my beliefs, as to just how much Jesus loves me. I think God likes it that I love His Son so much, that I do not care, and do not hold back. Love knows no limits.

 

 

Do you love God The Father this way too?  And the Holy Ghost?  Or is it just Jesus who turns you on?

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Guest JordanRiver

Since I am genuine with my love, and I really do mean it, I believe God looks down and is happy with my relationship with Christ. I am not mocking or joking. I am serious about this. I have faith, and God loves us when we have faith and do not doubt.

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I did not write this. I found this recently, and it was amazing because Jesus and I have a similar relationship. It confirmed my beliefs, as to just how much Jesus loves me. I think God likes it that I love His Son so much, that I do not care, and do not hold back. Love knows no limits.

 

Well I had to give you a point for replying.  It takes courage.  I'm pretty sure you could NOT post this stuff on a Christian website, am I right?

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Guest JordanRiver

 

 

 

 

I just picked a line at random:

 

       215. (Jesus:) Your love and your trust in Me thrills My soul! You fill My love cup to overflowing! You cause Me to tingle with excitement! You cause My loins to quiver with joyous tension that will soon be released in blissful lovemaking together, with Me filling you with My love, with My penis, with My rod, with My desire, with My passion, until I can contain no longer and I explode into orgasmic relief, thrilling, filling and pleasing you!—Until your vibrant, desirous, longing body is undulating with Me in pure pleasure, and we're moving together so happily, so passionately, as we are one together in spirit and soul.

 

Did you write this, JordanRiver?  I hope you and Jesus are legally married, otherwise this is a big big sin and you are going to suffer a long long time in the hot hot fire of hell.  Jesus' father is known to be quite the jealous type and just a little bit obsessed with the wrath thing.  I would be more discreet if I was you.

 

I did not write this. I found this recently, and it was amazing because Jesus and I have a similar relationship. It confirmed my beliefs, as to just how much Jesus loves me. I think God likes it that I love His Son so much, that I do not care, and do not hold back. Love knows no limits.

 

 

Do you love God The Father this way too?  And the Holy Ghost?  Or is it just Jesus who turns you on?

 

It is just Jesus. Good question. My relationship with Christ has sky-rocketed in the past 6 months to this. Before I was like the other boring Christians...now I am on fire. It's amazing.

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Ok, Jordan, your comments were pretty benign to this point, but that last couple are going to bring you some grief. So why are YOU posting this crap on an Ex-Christian site? God/gods are your mind's invention, so basically you're an extreme narcissist.

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Guest JordanRiver

 

I did not write this. I found this recently, and it was amazing because Jesus and I have a similar relationship. It confirmed my beliefs, as to just how much Jesus loves me. I think God likes it that I love His Son so much, that I do not care, and do not hold back. Love knows no limits.

 

Well I had to give you a point for replying.  It takes courage.  I'm pretty sure you could NOT post this stuff on a Christian website, am I right?

 

That's correct. You are right.

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Do you masturbate to scripture or worship music ?

 

So JamesG, I couldn't help noticing that your God is "A flying pink invisible and glittery phallus"?  So you can really relate to this kind of stuff.  Cool!  yelrotflmao.gif

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Do you masturbate to scripture or worship music ?

 

So JamesG, I couldn't help noticing that your God is "A flying pink invisible and glittery phallus"?  So you can really relate to this kind of stuff.  Cool!  yelrotflmao.gif

 

YES YES I CAN!

 

 

the  flying pink invisible and glittery phallus is a goddess beyond question since she doesn't have  penis envy

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Do you masturbate to scripture or worship music ?

 

So JamesG, I couldn't help noticing that your God is "A flying pink invisible and glittery phallus"?  So you can really relate to this kind of stuff.  Cool!  yelrotflmao.gif

 

YES YES I CAN!

 

 

the  flying pink invisible and glittery phallus is a goddess beyond question since she doesn't have  penis envy

 

 

So... your phallus goddess is a lesbian?  Interesting.  Start a new post in the Spirituality forum.  I want to know all the juicy details.  cool.png biggrin.png

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Do you masturbate to scripture or worship music ?

 

So JamesG, I couldn't help noticing that your God is "A flying pink invisible and glittery phallus"?  So you can really relate to this kind of stuff.  Cool!  yelrotflmao.gif

 

YES YES I CAN!

 

 

the  flying pink invisible and glittery phallus is a goddess beyond question since she doesn't have  penis envy

 

 

So... your phallus goddess is a lesbian?  Interesting.  Start a new post in the Spirituality forum.  I want to know all the juicy details.  cool.png biggrin.png

 

lol will do

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Yes you are. I know others who have a similar relationship with Christ the Eternal Husband.

 

 

Really I don't have a problem with whatever sexual fantasy you might have as long as you don't hurt any real people with it.  However wasn't sharing this too much information?  I would like to know why you choose to share the information with ex-Christians of all people.

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May I just share that I am skeptical that JordanRiver is a true believer?  If not a troll, this is a fairly unique poe.  Elicit sex with Jesus?  Seriously?  At least it's entertaining...  

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Guest Babylonian Dream

Since I am genuine with my love, and I really do mean it, I believe God looks down and is happy with my relationship with Christ. I am not mocking or joking. I am serious about this. I have faith, and God loves us when we have faith and do not doubt.

Well... creepiness aside... I gotta say I like your phallic Jesus far better than the other Jesus memes out there, but I can't say I think you're serious, and if you are, don't count on people taking this seriously. It's just seeming a little farfetched if ya know what I mean? :)

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Here's a song that I used to sing with the blues band in church at least once a month......you'll love it Jorden!! yellow.gif  I used to put my whole heart into singing this song!! The church used to go crazy when we did this song!!!

 

I really do still love this song....wink.png

 

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Is this what "Authentic Christian Believers" are up to these days?  No wonder the churches are full.  Maybe we're missing something guys.

 

 

I was wondering the same thing.  

 

Also, can't tell if Jordan is serious or joking. I honestly thought it was a parody/joke at first, but am not sure anymore. 

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"The bride of Christ" ugh - yes, the Bible encourages it. But, gross. I want to say, just grow up.

 

I was in love with Captain Kirk when I was 14..

 

Really?  Some females have actually found Captain Kirk attractive?

 

I wouldn't have guessed that.  I always thought he was sortof a male scifi nerd's notion of what women would/should find attractive.  I wouldn't have guessed that they got it right to any extent.

You're joking, right???

 

I mean, I'm a straight man and I even would've fucked Kirk back in the day.

 

 

I guess we just have different tastes in men.GONZ9729CustomImage1539775.gif

 

Seriously, my wife thinks he's repulsive- and I kinda defer to her judgement on these matters.  But maybe her opinion of Kirk isn't typical- I dunno.

 

 

Oh yeah, it's typical -- at least among all the women I've ever discussed it with.

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