raoul Posted September 20, 2013 Share Posted September 20, 2013 To some of the posters who are curious as to why I'm here, it's rather simple. Number one, God has rocked my world with this new intimate relationship with Him, and the other reason is that let us face it...I do not fit into the transitional Christian Church. Right, you're different than the rest of the deluded xtians. Do you have any idea of how many times I've heard that in the past year? This sounds pretty different to me, actually. How many Xtians have you heard from in the past year who are sexually turned on by Jesus? This whole concept gives me the heebie-jeebies!! Over where the real battles are taking place, YouTube Land, she's known as a poe. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denyoz Posted September 20, 2013 Share Posted September 20, 2013 I'm tellin' ya, Mary is where it's at. Forget her kid. 1212_playboy_02-copy-4.jpg As long as you love her personality also. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mymistake Posted September 20, 2013 Share Posted September 20, 2013 I'm tellin' ya, Mary is where it's at. Forget her kid. 1212_playboy_02-copy-4.jpg As long as you love her personality also. And what is not to love about a woman whose answer is "Do whatever you want to me, my Lord"? It's almost as if her personality is the fantasy of a man. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thackerie Posted September 20, 2013 Share Posted September 20, 2013 Q: what happened to jesus when he went to Mt. Olive? A: Popeye kicked the shit outta him. That's awful! I love it. Thanks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
midniterider Posted September 20, 2013 Share Posted September 20, 2013 Q: what happened to jesus when he went to Mt. Olive? A: Popeye kicked the shit outta him. lol. :-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JordanRiver Posted September 20, 2013 Share Posted September 20, 2013 No I am not a member of the Children of God Cult. I just have a similar relationship with Jesus, so I was excited to find that other people saw Him in this way too. I fly solo. I do belong to a Church, but I do my own thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator TrueFreedom Posted September 21, 2013 Moderator Share Posted September 21, 2013 No I am not a member of the Children of God Cult. I just have a similar relationship with Jesus, so I was excited to find that other people saw Him in this way too. I fly solo. I do belong to a Church, but I do my own thing. Would you mind sharing what brought you to a forum established for former Christians? We don't believe that anyone one can have a real relationship with Jesus. He's dead, if he existed at all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JordanRiver Posted September 21, 2013 Share Posted September 21, 2013 Because I felt like. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mymistake Posted September 21, 2013 Share Posted September 21, 2013 Because I felt like. Would you post meat grilling tips in a vegan forum? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Astreja Posted September 21, 2013 Share Posted September 21, 2013 There are far better uses of the Ex-C bandwidth than hosting a gallery of third-rate erotica: LOLcat pictures, cookie recipes, Monty Python quotes... 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mymistake Posted September 21, 2013 Share Posted September 21, 2013 (crude joke deleted) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fweethawt Posted September 21, 2013 Share Posted September 21, 2013 Q: what happened to jesus when he went to Mt. Olive? A: Popeye kicked the shit outta him. lol. :-) Wow! That's hilarious! Never heard that one before. And Popeye said, "I 'AM' what 'I' am, BITCH!" HA-HA! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
duderonomy Posted September 22, 2013 Share Posted September 22, 2013 http://media.xfamily.org/docs/fam/gn/Post-It-GN-19-20.htmlt It goes something like this. From the link: "[box:] Adults only; not for minors. Please do not read this aloud where children might hear it or leave it where they might have access to it. These intimate words are an expression of love to Jesus from His bride. As the Bible explains and the Lord has shown us more about in recent years, Jesus wants to be intimate with us. We are married to Him, and the love that we share can be compared to that between a husband and wife. Practicing the Loving Jesus Revelation intimately is a personal decision, and for adults only. The love words contained in this booklet are sexy, passionate, and intimate, made available for those who desire to have a closer and more intimate relationship with our Husband, our God of sex and love and passion. Enjoy! [End of box]" OK, not to be too doctrinal here, but if children are 'saved', aren't they also the Body of Christ, and thus the Bride of Christ? I mean, in all of the "sexy, passionate, and intimate" stuff don't forget all the kids in Sunday School are included. Sick, really sick stuff. Just some food for thought. Besides, I already rode the wild Jesus as far back as the sixties and before we broke up, I think I gave him herpes. Sorry, JordanRiver, I bet he never told you that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JordanRiver Posted September 22, 2013 Share Posted September 22, 2013 Sixties? Wow...my mom was born in 1963. No, He never told me about you. I guess you weren't that memorable. Sorry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
duderonomy Posted September 24, 2013 Share Posted September 24, 2013 Sixties? Wow...my mom was born in 1963. No, He never told me about you. I guess you weren't that memorable. Sorry Snappy retort, skippy! Really though, what about the kids? Do you have to be of a certain age before you meet Adults Only Jesus? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JordanRiver Posted September 24, 2013 Share Posted September 24, 2013 Well the Children of God Cult says you have to be like 16 or something like that. I don't belong to that sect, so I don't know. I also don't have kids nor want them so I practically don't care. I can only speak for myself. I started developing romantic feelings toward Jesus in my early 20s. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Moderator florduh Posted September 24, 2013 Super Moderator Share Posted September 24, 2013 Jordan needs either some new material or serious help. This joke is wearing thin. Are the lions sleeping? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JordanRiver Posted September 24, 2013 Share Posted September 24, 2013 Jordan needs either some new material or serious help. This joke is wearing thin. Are the lions sleeping? This is not a joke. It's real. Yes we joke in here because most people are in shock about the way I choose to live my life, but when the lights go down, and all is said and done, I am not joking. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ravenstar Posted September 24, 2013 Share Posted September 24, 2013 disturbing Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Moderator florduh Posted September 24, 2013 Super Moderator Share Posted September 24, 2013 So, serious help it is. Please get some. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JordanRiver Posted September 24, 2013 Share Posted September 24, 2013 I've been here since July of this year but just started to post recently. I have roamed these streets here and I have noticed that that is sort of some strategy that you non-Chrisitans use here on Christians. That we are mentally ill etc. Weak stance if you ask me. You will have to do better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mymistake Posted September 24, 2013 Share Posted September 24, 2013 So is Jesus bisexual or omnisexual? I kind of figured he would be. Jesus could love up an entire stadium without slowing down. On the other hand, God the Father must not be the slightest bit strait. He only banged a gal once (an experiment?) and thousands of years later he still isn't the least bit interested in women. Now Zeus is a strait god. When Zeus was in his prime he would get women pregnant left and right. Even to this day it still drives poor Hera jealous. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JordanRiver Posted September 24, 2013 Share Posted September 24, 2013 MyMistake...ask Him, maybe He will let you in on the answer. I prefer Jesus. The One, The Only for me He is AWE-MAZING! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mymistake Posted September 24, 2013 Share Posted September 24, 2013 MyMistake...ask Him, maybe He will let you in on the answer. Okay, just a minute . . . . . . Jesus said he doesn't know you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Moderator florduh Posted September 24, 2013 Super Moderator Share Posted September 24, 2013 No, J. You have actually had a psychotic break with reality and need help. The pathology is nothing like those who merely hold an unfounded or silly religious belief. You need help. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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