Help Again? (Fear, Whining And Thank You Post)

[AzariaC7]

And I want to say that I've come back. I'm sorry I left such a complaining status. I wasn't trying to get sympathy or anything. I felt unwelcomed but I decided how much good people are here, so I wanted to come back here. I also wanted to say thank you, for helping me a lot, too. You guys helped me more than a lot. I've been a mess lately and I just wanted to come back. It's just that my fear of Hell keeps coming back. I'm starting to think it's a phobia or an obsession. 

So today I found a post on Facebook saying something like "Man has a vision of Hell, changes life, and thank you Jesus for taking my punishment" and I unliked the page fast. I jumped. Why am I such a scaredy cat when one mentions Hell? I'm so terrified that one time I even pulled out my hair out of frustration and fear. I'm not trying to get sympathy, just telling you guys how much I'm a whining, scaredy cat I am. I hope I'm not alone in this. I mean at how much scared I am. Have you guys ever been scared about something in Christianity? I always wanted to cease to exist when I die. And sometimes, I wish I never had been born. I'm such a mess. I'm jealous of those who got over their fear of Hell so fast. I bet they don't have anxiety as I do. Anxiety is worse, you know? I'm filled with dread and fear right now. 

 

I hope I'm not annoying you guys with all my whining and my fear of Hell, I just can't seem to control my emotions. It's hard when you're a 14 year old anxious kid. 

[MerryG]

Being 14 is hell even when you're not grappling with cosmic issues.

 

Fear of hell is what Christians WANT you to feel. It's the religion's #1 way of holding people in thrall. It's completely understandable that when trying to break free your worst fear is that you'll end up in hell -- simply for asking questions, simply for not sharing other people's opinions. That's how the cult controls us.

 

I don't know if that fear will ever completely go away for you. I think for many of us raised with that (dare I say) hellish doctrine from childhood, a lingering doubt remains.

 

The best counter for it may be facts and reason. Or it may be anger -- anger that other people deliberately planted that horrible notion in your poor, vulnerable brain. Or it may be just telling yourself either that a loving god wouldn't do that and a god who WOULD do that is not worthy of worship.

 

Then there's also the idea that if there IS a hell, all the cool people are going to hang out there while all the self-righteous, child-poisoning assholes go elsewhere.

[Overcame Faith]

You are not a bother when you speak of your fear of hell. The whole concept of hell is a terrible thing for Christianity to have imposed on us. It's one of the reasons why I classify Christianity as an evil religion.

 

I do not know if this will help you or not, but I am convinced that the concept of hell is man made. Its purpose is for control of people. This control is carried out by telling people that unless they conform, they will suffer an eternity of punishment. That is so cruel, but it is not real. Hell is a total lie. It really is.

 

I hope you are able to cleanse yourself of this terrible lie!

[mymistake]

 I hope I'm not alone in this. I mean at how much scared I am. Have you guys ever been scared about something in Christianity? 

 

Yes.  It took me a long time to get over my fear.  The way I got over it was through humor.  I watched youtube vids from nonstampcollector and Darkmatter2525.  For me God wasn't scary when I realized how silly the whole thing is.  Now I can't sit in church without laughing but that is a much better problem.  

 

 

 

 I hope I'm not annoying you guys with all my whining and my fear of Hell, I just can't seem to control my emotions. It's hard when you're a 14 year old anxious kid. 

 

 

It's actually a very common problem.  It would be best if you get professional help.  We are just an internet forum.  We don't have the power to fix some things.  I don't know the source of your problems so I have no idea if it will help for for whatever it is worth I learned to control my emotions by looking at a different perspective.  When an attack comes I focus on the nearest inanimate object and I remind myself that it doesn't care.  For example if I am driving I will remind myself that the road doesn't care, my truck doesn't care.  My triggers are based on remembering my past and that Christian guilt/worthlessness/can't redeem yourself mess.  If your triggers or the cause is different then you might need a different fix.  That is why you should see somebody in person.

[Guest Babylonian Dream]

You remind me so much of myself before I got alot of my bipolar symptoms under control. You're not annoying, and quite frankly, religion did to you what it did to me and others, made it harder for you, which is understandable. Intrusive thoughts, racing thoughts, anxiety, and mood swings were all made worse when religious, and even worse when deconverting. If you'd like to talk, we can talk anytime

 

I'm 24 and can attest, it does get better with time. It really does. Just take a breath and remind yourself, you're worried people are going to react the way that others have before. Every situation is different, and everyone is different.

 

Also, it can seem like we haven't seen your post or are ignoring it, but we're all usually busy so sometimes we just hurry through the threads and only look at ones we've already posted in. At least its what I do sometimes. I know alot of what you are going through though.

[TheRedneckProfessor]

AzariaC7, I understand the terrible nightmare you must be living right now; I, too, was once 14 and scared as hell of hell.  I wish I could offer you something more consoling, but this, too, shall pass.  I agree with some of the others who have suggested studying the subject of hell; there are several pretty good documentaries on YouTube that address the origins and histories of both hell and the devil.  The one thing you will notice in your studies is that there is absolutely NO PROOF that hell exists; there are only myths and legends.  The best defense against fear is not courage; it is knowledge.

 

Also, consider this: MerryG astutely pointed out that if god would throw you into hell for having doubts then such a god isn't worthy of worship.  I agree with that sentiment, but I am willing to take it a step further.  If god would throw me into hell for having doubts, and the only other alternative would be for me to spend all of eternity in heaven with such a god, then my choices really boil down to two different types of hell.  In such a case, I'd prefer to be true to myself, embrace my doubts, and accept eternity in hell.

[creative]

The bible was written in the bronze age.
In those days they believed hell to be underground and heaven to be in the sky.
And what a coincidence. the bible says that to.

This ooo it shouldn't be interpreted like that and the whole new testament has only one purpose.

wish is: "preventing you from saying OMG that's so stupid, i cant believe people still believe in that."

Try and see the bible for what it is.. without the "what if's".

"What if" i am god and if you dont give me 100$ you will go to hell?

Will you give me 100$? plzzzz

Now seriously, doing some research on where this book actually comes from might help you seeing for what it is.
Im not really a link/url guy but im sure there's tonz of people here that can give you links with good info... and if not you can always ask mister google

You dont believe something because i or someone else tells you to believe it (at least you shouldn't). You do your own research and make up you own mind based on logic and evidence.

We believe that dinosaurs existed not because of Jurassic park. But because there is actually a huge amount of evidence for it.

[RenaissanceWoman]

Hell is man-made. When I was 18 in my first year of college, I did a short art history paper on a painting "The Harrowing of Hell." That's where Jesus went to hell while he was dead for the three days, and freed all the saints who were sleeping there -- I think. I combed the bible looking for a reference to this, but there was pretty much nothing. It was 1990, and there was no internet, so finding reference to this "harrowing" was a very difficult task. Why? Because it's not real. It was made up in medieval times.

 

As an art history major, let me remind you of something else. You know St. Peter's in Rome, right? The big dome, the Sistine Chapel, not to mention all the amazing artworks there and elsewhere such as Michelangelo's David statue in Florence. All of those were paid for by scaring people about hell and purgatory for themselves and their dead loved ones -- and extorting money from them via the selling of indulgences. Hell was a big money maker. That was one of the big reasons that Martin Luther started all the reformation commotion.

 

You are probably not the one in your house who is responsible for giving money to your church. If you stay a christian, as you grow older, you will start to notice the pull on your purse. That's all church is. They want the club to run smoothly, they want the music to sound good, they want the sound system to be upgraded, they want beautiful linens and communion chalises, they want to add on to the building, they want to brag about sending people on bogus mission trips, they want the coolest VBS to get more kids than the other churches in town... they want your money.

 

If they can convince you that you are a poor miserable sinner destined for hell unless you play their little game (in which the rules are never really defined... are you giving enough? are you volunteering enough? are you repenting enough? are you trying hard enough?), then they have you. And your money.

 

Others here have mentioned books that discuss the history and development of hell, and of the bible itself. Sorry, I don't know those books, but I assume a google search on the history of hell will reveal its dubious origins as a money-making control mechanism created by sick men in leadership positions.

 

I am now in my 40s, and a mother of an 8-year-old girl. If you don't mind, I'd like to talk to you like a mother. You have my permission to stop worrying about these cosmic things, and focus on more pressing 14-year-old issues. You are free to think about makeup and what to wear to the homecoming dance. You are allowed to focus on tomorrow's math test and decide which sports team or academic clubs are right for you. You are free to ponder why they don't make those Monster High shoes in adult sizes, because damn! I would sooooo rock Operetta's boots. You can focus on the best ways to deal with your period and your skin blemishes. You are allowed to think about boys and chat with your friends about such things. No one is watching you, monitoring your thoughts, condemning you. One day you will graduate from the fishbowl life of high school (which can be super fun but sometimes can super suck), and you will be free to start on a new life without the ties of all those kids you grew up with. You are free. You are free now, and you will be even more free soon enough.

 

Peace to you. Now stop worrying, and get out there and enjoy the silly adventure of teenage life. Be free!