Wow...this Poem Just Poured Out From Me--Free Style (No Edit)

[Guest JordanRiver]

The Story Of YOU And I

 

 

The story of US is like a fantasy

A mirage of some sorts

In the desert

I love the way YOU'RE loving me

 

YOU'VE cast a spell on me

I love the way YOU make me feel

 

From zero to a hundred

YOU take me

We're high

So high on cloud 9

With no plans of ever coming down

 

YOU and I a mystery

Getting closer

And closer

YOU kiss me

 

I wanna dance

I want to scream

I want it to be YOU and I for all eternity

 

Sing for me

Make me believe

Play some music

Like I'm the only girl YOU see

 

I've loved YOU for so long

Can't believe I'm in YOUR arms 

Whisper sweet nothings to me

Hold me tight

I feel YOUR ecstasy

 

YOU'VE swept me away

There's nothing left to say

Take me higher

Far, far away.

 

 

PS. I think this poem is a good start. If I play with the words and rearrange some of the rhythms and rhymes, it has potential.

[RankStranger]

Does God the Father hang out with you too? In a fatherly manner?

 

I've always wondered what's the nature of the Holy Spirit though. I mean you got a father and a son- where does this ghost fit in? I suppose Mary is the mother-figger in the situation. Is the Holy Ghost kinda like the weird uncle of the family? Does he ever try to 'touch' you?

 

I've known lots of christians to be 'touched' by the Holy Spirit. They seemed happy enough about it- I guess the HS told them they were special or some shit. But I always thought it was creepy.

[MerryG]

I once read a great old satire called "How to Become a Bishop without Being Religious." In that book, the author advised ambitious ministers to (among other things) play lots of hymns featuring the words "me" and "I" to stroke congregants' egos and give them the illusion that Jesus and God were their special friends.

 

He noted that the "greatest" hymn of all time for self-advancement was "In the Garden" -- not only because it sets some sort of record for "me" and "I" in a song allegedly about God, but because it actually implies that God has a cozy, exclusive, romantic interest in the person doing the singing ("He walks with me and he talks with me; he tells me I am his own; and the joy we share as we tarry there, none other has ever known.")

 

JordanRiver has put "In the Garden" in the shade! Walks in the garden? Fergeddaboutit! Now we have make-out sessions with a deity! Now God's on the point of orgasm ("I feel YOUR ecstasy") with the one-and-only woman he loves. Wow.

[par4dcourse]

Pour it back in.

[florduh]

Troll.

[Galien]

The Story Of YOU And I

 

 

The story of US is like a fantasy

A mirage of some sorts

In the desert

I love the way YOU'RE loving me

 

YOU'VE cast a spell on me

I love the way YOU make me feel

 

From zero to a hundred

YOU take me

We're high

So high on cloud 9

With no plans of ever coming down

 

YOU and I a mystery

Getting closer

And closer

YOU kiss me

 

I wanna dance

I want to scream

I want it to be YOU and I for all eternity

 

Sing for me

Make me believe

Play some music

Like I'm the only girl YOU see

 

I've loved YOU for so long

Can't believe I'm in YOUR arms 

Whisper sweet nothings to me

Hold me tight

I feel YOUR ecstasy

 

YOU'VE swept me away

There's nothing left to say

Take me higher

Far, far away.

 

 

PS. I think this poem is a good start. If I play with the words and rearrange some of the rhythms and rhymes, it has potential.

 

Looks like someone is very scared of real life. Can't blame them really. It's a jungle out there.

[Guest JordanRiver]

Wow harsh critics..tough crowd.

Did I mention I typed it out automatically.

I will try to work on it.

[Galien]

Wow harsh critics..tough crowd.

Did I mention I typed it out automatically.

I will try to work on it.

 

You won't find harsher critics. you do realise we have been where you are but have grown up and moved on. This is all a bit of a yawn for most of us, except for the few it makes slightly homicidal.

[mymistake]

No amount of work is going to make us interested in Sex-With-Jesus.  You cannot polish that turd.

[Guest JordanRiver]

 

Wow harsh critics..tough crowd.

Did I mention I typed it out automatically.

I will try to work on it.

 

You won't find harsher critics. you do realise we have been where you are but have grown up and moved on. This is all a bit of a yawn for most of us, except for the few it makes slightly homicidal.

I do not think so. I think some here had a real relationship with Jesus, but for whatever reason do not now. I could have gone that path too...but didn't. There was a fork in the road...some went left...I went right. That's a big difference.

[Guest JordanRiver]

Some won't finish the work that was started in them.

[florduh]

 

Some won't finish the work that was started in them. 

 

 

And some are just fucking nuts.

[Guest JordanRiver]

Then again if someone hates Jesus or His ways...why should they spend eternity with Him. Jesus wants a bride that is ready for Him....not dragging her feet and disagreeing with Him

[mymistake]

Say aren't post 10, 11 and 13 the kind of talk that is suppose to be confined to the Lion's Den?  What is it doing stinking up the Creative Works section?

[buffettphan]

JR, you are (?getting awfully close to?) proselytizing   and christians are confined to the lion's den for that kinda shit.

[buffettphan]

Say aren't post 10, 11 and 13 the kind of talk that is suppose to be confined to the Lion's Den?  What is it doing stinking up the Creative Works section?

 

Oh, sorry mm....I posted before reading your post!   Knowing his/her history here, I cringed just reading the OP in this section.   Hope if anyone is lurking, they realize h/she is just a weeeeee bit nutty.    

[Guest JordanRiver]

I agree....

 

I will try to remember that here

 

I'm not the preaching type. Don't worry.

[mymistake]

Been preaching ever since you got here.  If you are not the preaching type then when are you going to stop?

[Galien]

Then again if someone hates Jesus or His ways...why should they spend eternity with Him. Jesus wants a bride that is ready for Him....not dragging her feet and disagreeing with Him

 

Jesus isnt real honey.

[Guest JordanRiver]

MyMistake...

 

Go ahead and take that back.

 

I express my love and devotion to Jesus. I am not preaching the Bible and you know it

 

Now on your knees and beg for my forgiveness....

 

I don't think I have mentioned a scripture here like ever.

 

I disagree with you whole-heartedly

[mymistake]

MyMistake...

 

Go ahead and take that back.

 

I express my love and devotion to Jesus. I am not preaching the Bible and you know it

 

Now on your knees and beg for my forgiveness....

 

I don't think I have mentioned a scripture here like ever.

 

I disagree with you whole-heartedly

 

I didn't say you were preaching the Bible.  I said you were preaching.  Like all Christians you have your own private interpretation where you choose what you want from Christianity and you ignore the rest.  We all did it when we were Christians.  You are no different.

[Guest JordanRiver]

Well that is just a part of who I am. I cannot change that. Nor do I want to. I want to be like Jesus.

 

Soooo...there will always be an element of a "preacher" in every Christian since we are told to go out and make disciples etc.

 

But you have to admit it to me just once, that I have been good about NOT writing any scriptures.

 

No one is perfect. I said I will TRY. Relax

[Galien]

Well that is just a part of who I am. I cannot change that. Nor do I want to. I want to be like Jesus.

 

Soooo...there will always be an element of a "preacher" in every Christian since we are told to go out and make disciples etc.

 

But you have to admit it me just once, that I have been good and NOT written any scriptures.

 

No one is perfect.

 

MM is perfect. You will learn this.

[Galien]

Well that is just a part of who I am. I cannot change that. Nor do I want to. I want to be like Jesus.

 

Soooo...there will always be an element of a "preacher" in every Christian since we are told to go out and make disciples etc.

 

But you have to admit it to me just once, that I have been good about NOT writing any scriptures.

 

No one is perfect. I said I will TRY. Relax

 

You want to be lilke jesus. I mean I onlyhave what is written in the bible to go on, and i have no idea where that shit came from anyway but in 36 years as a christian i met like 3 people who appeared to be anything like jesus. the rest of christians were just like any other asshole, but worse, because they mistakenly believe they are better. at least here in australia we dont have to put up with their constant bullshit.

[Guest JordanRiver]

 He rubs me the wrong way....