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Ex-Ex-Christians?


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Has anyone else gone through a transition from where being an "ex-Christian" (or deconvert or non-Christian, even if you didn't use a label) was extremely important to them, a big part of their identity, to simply being dispassionately non-religious/non-theist and no longer triggered by Christianity in specific? Was there a reason or an event, or did time just take it away?

 

I've thought that I was through with having Christianity be part of my identity at all, even in a negative sense, a few times, but always got triggered or anxious about something (usually family relationships). The last time it happened, I wasn't on these boards at all for quite a while, because I felt like I was being overwhelmed by anti-Christianity when what I really wanted was a-Christianity. But in the last few months, I haven't been triggered by being here (I like to share stories and want to give back since I was helped here a lot) or by my parents and being upset that they're judging me, and when I hear something about Christianity, I disagree with the religion, but not in an emotional way. To some extent, I feel like I've gotten rid of almost all the bad religious related past decisions that were still on the fringes of my life, left them in the past. What about you all, anyone else feel that Christianity isn't part of your identity anymore at all (despite posting here of course)?

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When I left the religion, I barely gave it a second thought. Religion was a non-issue. Then the religious right reared its ugly head one too many times, and I realized we could actually be in danger of a semi-theocratic rule in this country. It was already taking place at the local level in some areas, and I became a little more anti religion as I perceived the growing threat. For balance, non-Christians, and particularly atheists, need a stronger voice in America.

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When I left the religion, I barely gave it a second thought. Religion was a non-issue. Then the religious right reared its ugly head one too many times, and I realized we could actually be in danger of a semi-theocratic rule in this country. It was already taking place at the local level in some areas, and I became a little more anti religion as I perceived the growing threat. For balance, non-Christians, and particularly atheists, need a stronger voice in America.

Same for me.  My problem with Christianity is largely political.  I also think it's stupid and people use it to be shitty to each other.  But I didn't take much notice of those until I began to fear the religious right.

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By the time I was out of high school, I was also out of christianity and it really was a non-issue for me for a very long time.  Even though 99.9% of those around me have always been christian, they generally kept quiet about it outside of church.  I thought they had silly beliefs, but "live and let live" was fairly easy.  That is until the 1980's when the moral majority and religious right came along.  Suddenly relatives/co-workers/friends/acquaintances/strangers started parroting the televangelists and other religious nutjobs and began trying to force their religious and political beliefs down everyone's throats.   So yes, my problem with christianity is largely political too.  I really think that once the "religious politicians" get booted out of office, the whole christian frenzy will die down.    

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I've been out of Christianity for a while, and it doesn't bother me anymore... except for all the recent political stuff, which I think is how I found this website. 

 

I honestly don't care at all if my family stays Christian and I don't have any problem at all with progressive or liberal Christians who aren't trying to push their beliefs onto others. Those politicians who want to force people to abide by their own political views though? That bothers me. 

 

Trying to push through Personhood for Fetuses legislation? Employers who don't want to allow their employees to have health care that could cover contraception? Forcing science teachers to say that "Creation Science" is real science when it isn't? Preventing two consenting same-gender adults from getting married? No way. And don't even get me started on "legitimate rape" and women's bodies shutting that whole thing down, as if women can just mentally stop sperm from reaching an egg. And all these efforts to shut down Planned Parenthood facilities is just cruel. And cutting funding for food stamps because they mistakenly believe that churches, food pantries, and charities should be voluntary and could totally take care of everything if government would just get out of the way, even though private charity is terribly inefficient and can't possibly reach all the people who need assistance... especially during and right after a major recession. 

 

Yeah, the moral majority needs some challengers to remind them they aren't the majority, and that their ideas are often incorrect, ignorant, oppressive, and cruel. 

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When I left the religion, I barely gave it a second thought. Religion was a non-issue. Then the religious right reared its ugly head one too many times, and I realized we could actually be in danger of a semi-theocratic rule in this country. It was already taking place at the local level in some areas, and I became a little more anti religion as I perceived the growing threat. For balance, non-Christians, and particularly atheists, need a stronger voice in America.

 

Same for me.  My problem with Christianity is largely political.  I also think it's stupid and people use it to be shitty to each other.  But I didn't take much notice of those until I began to fear the religious right.
Me too. I can't believe some of the Neanderthals that want "gods laws" in the US.
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I hear ya. Being an ex-Christian is still part of my identity online and politically, and probably will be for a while; as others have said, I feel that I have to add my voice to avoid my rights being trampled.

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I think I understand what you are saying.  When I first deconverted, my status as ex-Christian was very important to me.  Now I am simply a non-Christian.  I am less angry and less determined to argue and debate Christians.  Live and let live is more my motto these days.  I only get riled up when someone's faith ends up determining stupid laws that affect my personal life, such as the Pro-Life and anti-birth control shit and various things involving religion and schools or custody battles.  Of course I also make a point to not politically support those that want to make this a Christian nation and all, but only those things listed above still get me riled up.   I have other hot buttons that are not necessarily related to Christianity, in fact, Christians would even agree with me... one issue being underage and/or violent porn, both of which are pretty prevalent these days, shaping the minds and preferences of a whole generation of young boys and men.  But generally, I just live my life.  I'm too worried taking care of me and mine to waste time and energy fighting battles that can't be won.

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I'm hoping to get to that point, Clara, really, really hoping. Sometimes I still get extremely angry over all the mistakes I made based around Christianity (thinking of God and family instead of myself) but then I have to remind myself I'm not the only person to have ever been suckered and I still have the future.  And sometimes I still have to remind myself I'm getting mad at other people based on beliefs that were pounded in my head since birth, that there isn't a God ready to reward or punish someone based on how they treat others and I can only do control certain stuff.  But I'm hoping I can one day to get to the point where I'm only bothered by it in the political sense and I no longer have it as such a large part of my identity. 

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Great question. I'm hoping to get to that point where I just "am", instead of identifying myself by what I used to be (for the record, I was a nutter.... tongue.png ). I still feel triggered sometimes and angry at other times, but I'm laughing more and more at the stupid things I did and believed. I'm trying to view my decades in the cult as just another phase of my development as a human.

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I once read "A Child Of Hitler: Germany In The Days When God Wore A Swastika" by Alfons Heck in which the author described growing up in the Hitler Youth. His formative years were spent in this Nazi version of the Boy Scouts and he was completely indoctrinated into the Nazi mindset. Many years after the war, he traveled with a woman his age who had been a Jewish prisoner in Auschwitz. Together, they lectured about both sides of that particular coin. Even though his adult years were better informed, he was never able to fully walk away from his childhood. He opposed what his indoctrination taught him and yet that indoctrination defined his entire life.

 

For me, Christianity was so ingrained that I will never be able to live a life without it. It is a part of my psyche and defines who I am. More's the pity.

 

To be honest, there are times when I wish I could be simple achristian but the reality is that such a thing is not possible for me. The best I can manage is to raise my kids in a manner that teaches them how to think, not what to think, in the hopes that they will be able to be achristian entirely. And if I can help a few others through the deconversion process, so much the better.

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When I left the religion, I barely gave it a second thought. Religion was a non-issue. Then the religious right reared its ugly head one too many times, and I realized we could actually be in danger of a semi-theocratic rule in this country. It was already taking place at the local level in some areas, and I became a little more anti religion as I perceived the growing threat. For balance, non-Christians, and particularly atheists, need a stronger voice in America.

 

I used to belong to the religious right. Now when I hear them talk, I wonder where the hell they put their brains. 

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When I left christianity, I did so with a vengeance and never looked back.  I was done with church once and for all.  I've never been all that militant, or even overly overt, about my atheism.  But I have gone through periods when I felt more strongly against religion; I believe the lord gave put me through these "seasons" to strengthen my disbelief (okay, that was a little sarcastic).  In the end, I have become a strong Apatheist; I don't really care about god or religion, which I think may be what you are reaching for when you mention a-christianity.  I hope this helps.

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In the end, I have become a strong Apatheist; I don't really care about god or religion, which I think may be what you are reaching for when you mention a-christianity.  I hope this helps.

 

I think that's a great thing to be. Personally, it's not what I'm reaching for, although I may become an apatheist by default eventually. I am still interested in religion and its effects on culture and politics - where I want to get is not to not care about religion but to be pretty much dispassionate about it - even if I still feel strongly about not having religion encroach on personal freedoms or have curiosity about how different religions function, I want that to be because I'm interested in the world, not because I'm angry, upset or triggered personally.

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