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I told my dad yesterday...


Poonis
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Yesterday (sunday the 25th), my dad called for some christmas chitchat, and he asked me what my girlfriend and I exchanged for gifts. I didn't expect this, so I stuttered "we don't exchange gifts... we do it different. We got the cat a chia-catgrass pot..."

 

The line went silent for a second

 

"So you don't believe in God now I bet. What do you believe then?", he says. I said "I don't think today is the day to discuss religious beliefs."

 

"Alright, goodbye then", and he hung up.

 

 

The interesting thing is, my gf and I are supposed to come up today (monday the 26th) for a little get together with him, his fiance (who plays the organ at their church), and my sister and her baby. It is now 9:30 and I have not had the usual morning bubbly call from him yet.

 

I suspect that I am currently sitting in the calm before the storm. I'm 26, almost 27, and I wonder, will it be alright between us?

 

I'm tired of pretending I believe what he does, but that doesn't mean I love my dad less because of his beliefs. That would be stupid and would make me a bad person. I wonder what will become of this latest revelation.

 

I think I've dreaded this day for awhile, and I certaintly did not plan this.

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Dang, Poonis. That's kinda tough. I have special empathy for those here who have to go against parents or other family members in escaping the mindset. Not something I have to deal with.

 

Kinda hard to tell your dad to take a hike. But the alternative is a whole lot worse. Don't know why christians have to follow the "my way or the highway" mentality.

 

To each his own. Live and let live.

 

Why's it so hard?

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That's too bad, Poonis. But inevitable. Be strong and have all your ducks in a row. Don't back down.

 

I can't help but noticing though you mentioned your dad's "fiance". Is he divorced or widowed? I only ask, because if he divorced your mom, AND he's claiming to be a serious bible-believing Christian, then how does he square his disobedience to scripture AGAINST divorce? Also Jesus says that anyone who re-marries after divorce is committing adultery.

 

Divorce and adultery are as much a "sin" as is unbelief and fornication and homosexuality.

 

I don't mean to cause you grief, but just be aware of the "He who is without sin, let him cast the first stone" option to silence your dad. How can he judge YOU, if his own shit isn't all in one sock?

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Well, I called my dad today at 11:00.

 

I think it went well. We're still going over for the get-together. It may be different from now on, but I think only during christmas. But that is fine with me :)

 

That's too bad, Poonis. But inevitable. Be strong and have all your ducks in a row. Don't back down.

 

I can't help but noticing though you mentioned your dad's "fiance". Is he divorced or widowed? I only ask, because if he divorced your mom, AND he's claiming to be a serious bible-believing Christian, then how does he square his disobedience to scripture AGAINST divorce? Also Jesus says that anyone who re-marries after divorce is committing adultery.

 

Divorce and adultery are as much a "sin" as is unbelief and fornication and homosexuality.

 

I don't mean to cause you grief, but just be aware of the "He who is without sin, let him cast the first stone" option to silence your dad. How can he judge YOU, if his own shit isn't all in one sock?

 

My dad is twice divorced; my mom is his first wife, and my sister is from his second wife.

 

Keep in mind my dad is not a carved-in-stone fundamentalist; his fundamentalism just pops out whenever he is at a point in life when he doesn't know what to do (psychologically), and reverts back to his pipe-dream of Jesus.

 

I caught him off guard one day when he went into a Jesus-talk at Denny's; I just remember saying "I've read the whole bible cover to cover, and it says nothing in it regarding that".

 

Ah well. I think things are going to be fine. I think it was 'fear of the unknown' popping up in my mind again. Definately a throw-back to my religious days having been told to fear every fucking thing. Anyone who understands what I mean knows how difficult it may be to eradicate this from their psyche.

 

But I think I should clear something up about my fundamentalism: 99% of my fundamentalist upbringing is from my mother, whom divorced my dad when I was one years old, and raised me to believe my dad is a very bad person, leading me to not know my dad really until I turned 17 and left on my own.

 

My dad is not a bad guy, nor really a fundamentalist. And since he is OK with what I believe (or not believe) says volumes.

 

I was afraid to tell my dad what I really think out of fear of my mother's fundamentalist control of me during my most impressionable childhood. And I haven't even seen my mom for more than 7 years!

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...my mother, whom divorced my dad when I was one years old, and raised me to believe my dad is a very bad person, leading me to not know my dad really until I turned 17 and left on my own.rs!

 

:vent:

 

I really F@#$ing hate it when they do that!

 

 

Poonis, is it alright with you if I think very lowly of her?

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Poonis..

 

If the Old Man and you are still communicationg shit went well.

 

Thing is when having deep discussions and such is to remember if the chat you are having *now* is worth having a fight over..

 

Sounds like you two men got the shit out in open and had a discussion without the 'cussins..

 

Hopefully buds, you two can continue to have an open dialog going. Sounds like a good start.

 

kevinL

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