An Hour With A Jehovah Witness

[chrisstavrous]

Today when I left home to go out I was approached by a couple of jehovah witness, they were canvasing my street as they do every six months. As I was leaving I said hello to them, then two women crossed over the street to witness to me. Straight away came the assumption that I never knew jesus and that I did not know what the bible said, so as soon as I could, I explained that I was a christian once, but their assumption of my past experience as a christian didn't deter them trying to re-convert me. They walked with me up the street while I asked them questions about there church, but they seemed more interested in continuing a discussion at my home. I told the two woman that I didn't just go through 7-9 months of a very painful de-conversion to sign up with another christian cult. Then soon after another jehovah witness approached from the other side of the street and introduced himself.

 

I must admit I felt a little intimidated but I thought "hell this guy is no threat, I can take him" so I sucked up my fears and faced everything he could throw at me. So I started talking to him were I left off with the two jehovah women and said, "the other two woman asked me how did everything get here without a god? but I told them which god?" Immediately he started by telling me that we can tell which god by understanding that the bible unlike any other holy book speaks in real terms (such as its story's are based on real places) he tried showing me this by comparing a story in the koran and saying it's not a real place, but the bible always talks about real places. "So the garden of eden is a real place we really know" I said. He mumbled and then changed the subject, we talked about many things, one thing that he kept on bringing up was how did everything get here from nothing and with so much order. So I gave him the answers ex-c style (you'd be all proud) but he just kept on repeating the same question untilled I just said "I don't know and no one does."

 

Then the fun started

 

He asked me what happened for me to leave christianity and I told him the story as well as my impact my mental illness had on my faith. He then assures me that all christians have this faith healing all wrong and that god stopped all healings back in paul's day (yes he had Scripture to back it all up) he added that jesus wont heal your or anyone illness and that the miracles people are looking for can't happen because god has to let mankind work out things for themselfs. From here I learned that there beliefs are not based on the holy spirit experiences, burning bosoms, speaking in tongues, miracle healings or anything else the other gazillion churches teach, for them it was what the bible says and the bible only. So then the conversation begain to tire us both and his last words was to assure me again that all other christian religions had it wrong and they were all following the devil desguised as jesus, and then he gave me his mobile number and we parted company.

 

(His number is now in a garbage bin)

[Ravenstar]

Sounds typical. I studied with the JW's for a while way back when. They ARE probably more literalist than most churches, however the SDA's are right up there. Their apologetics are quite impenetrable. They also, like the Amish, practice shunning and the adherents are terrified of that.. church 'discipline' is pretty severe. (kind of cultish, no?) getting through to one? very unlikely. 

 

The problem with the JW's is that they are highly elitist and somewhat Calvinistic - though they'd never look at it that way. If you tell them you are a satanist they won't come back... seriously. Just a tidbit if they get too aggressive.

[◊ crazyguy123 ◊]

Immediately he started by telling me that we can tell which god by understanding that the bible unlike any other holy book speaks in real terms (such as its story's are based on real places) he tried showing me this by comparing a story in the koran and saying it's not a real place, but the bible always talks about real places.

 

I wonder how he would have responded if you had told him that the fact that the Bible mentions places that were real does not make the magical claims in the Bible true. Maybe mentioning that real places are mentioned in fiction all the time, even though the fictional characters are not real, would have shut him up for a while, but I don't really know if it would or not.

[mymistake]

Well thanks for taking one for the team.  Because of your nobel sacrifice there we dozens of people that day who didn't have to go through an awkward conversation.

 

For those who find themselves in the same situation against JW's remember the safe word is "disfellowshiped".  Learn it.  Use it.  But it only works against JWs.

[Ravenstar]

You are correct.. disfellowshipped.. VERY scary!!  

[mydisplayname]

Well thanks for taking one for the team.  Because of your nobel sacrifice there we dozens of people that day who didn't have to go through an awkward conversation.

 

For those who find themselves in the same situation against JW's remember the safe word is "disfellowshiped".  Learn it.  Use it.  But it only works against JWs.

 

Interesting. I'll try that next time instead of hiding behind the door.

[AlwaysNow]

They love to dominate the course of any talk, so the key is to take control of the conversation and not let them deviate from the points you want to make, whether it be how long a generation is, ever changing doctrines that cost people their lives, disfellowshipping practices that break up families and lead to suicides, Jesus's invisible return, the 100 % failure rate of their prophecies - there is an almost endless list of stuff they'll try to weasel out of.  Or next time bring up the name Candice Conti and see if they know what it references (pedophilia and the multimillion dollar lawsuit that it brought about).  Another word to fend them off is "Apostate" - tell them you are an apostate and watch the "deer in the headlights" reaction as they scurry away.