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Goodbye Jesus

My Neighbors Are Smegs


chrisstavrous

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Why not ask them about it?

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Do they owe you a computer in exchange for something, or did they just offer it to you? If the latter, maybe they decided they still need it for something or they had somebody with a greater need to give it to. I might drop a hint related to needing a computer. I'm sure they don't think about it the way you do. They may have actually forgotten.

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Well, I would simply ask them about it. There's all kinds of possible reasons they haven't given it to you, and getting my computer would mean more to me than waiting around and making deductions about their faith.

 

Are you buying it from them or are they just giving it to you?

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First of all, kudos for your use of the term "smeg".  Secondly, if it's that important to you, a simple conversation is all that is required.

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This does seem like an overreaction on your part. Maybe they realized the computer was thoroughly broken?

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I agree with what others have said. While your neighbors should have either given you the computer on time or taken the initiative to tell you that/why they couldn't, you're also behaving stubbornly by not simply asking them about it. Just ask them in some non-judgmental way and see what they have to say about it.

 

Also, while I can also be hard on people who don't carry out their promises (and do consider those who repeatedly fail to keep their word to be liars), the commandment you cite isn't really about casual mismatches between word and deed. It's more of a ban on telling lies about other people -- e.g. commiting perjury or ruining someone's reputation out of malice.

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Don't expect Christians to act any different that anyone else. They don't REALLY have the holy spook living inside then, it's all in their heads , so they act just about as human as anybody else.

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I would move on and not obsess about it. It's not like they have stolen from you. There are lots of places where you can get a refurbished computer for very little expense.

 

In general, I try not to let "stuff" be more important than relationships. It's just stuff after all. 

 

Note: Their being Christian is irrelevant. If they were atheists, would you be less upset? Why or why not?

 

By playing the "they're Christians" card, you are implying that Christian morals are somehow superior to non-Christian morals, which is not the case. They're just people behaving as people do. 

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Well, very interesting comments, you all seem to be saying the same thing. For starters try asking more questions first if you think your not getting the full story, I mean how else can you advise someone without knowing what's going on?

 

As for the full story, there new neighbours, moved in 6 months ago, straight up they seemed friendly, just in our first meeting they were making promises to get me a new TV (for nothing) I declined, because it seemed too awkward. Later after a few months of getting to know them I asked them if they knew anyone who was throwing away an old computer(yes they said) I offered to pay them but they refused the offer and said, no we will do it for free. This was about 3 months ago I asked. I did ask them about it and they told me, it will only be a few days, then in another meeting they told me, it will be a week away, now it's been 4 weeks and I have not heard about the computer. As to the (christian reference) they are always complaining how people in their family screws with them and lies to them, but they themselfs are honest christians, they always find a way to invoke god, jesus, their church to bolster there sincerity.

 

Now, it seems that the only advice that seems useful is talking to them about it one last time and if they make another promise wait to see if they fulfill it and if not wipe my hands of the whole thing.

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I would move on and not obsess about it. It's not like they have stolen from you. There are lots of places where you can get a refurbished computer for very little expense.

 

In general, I try not to let "stuff" be more important than relationships. It's just stuff after all.

 

Note: Their being Christian is irrelevant. If they were atheists, would you be less upset? Why or why not?

 

By playing the "they're Christians" card, you are implying that Christian morals are somehow superior to non-Christian morals, which is not the case. They're just people behaving as people do.

You're right there morals are not better, but it's the way these christians keep pumping up their moral agenda in your face then break it anytime they want.
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I agree with what others have said. While your neighbors should have either given you the computer on time or taken the initiative to tell you that/why they couldn't, you're also behaving stubbornly by not simply asking them about it. Just ask them in some non-judgmental way and see what they have to say about it.

 

Also, while I can also be hard on people who don't carry out their promises (and do consider those who repeatedly fail to keep their word to be liars), the commandment you cite isn't really about casual mismatches between word and deed. It's more of a ban on telling lies about other people -- e.g. commiting perjury or ruining someone's reputation out of malice.

I should have picked this one instead,

 

Leviticus 19:11 “‘Do not steal. “‘Do not lie. “‘Do not deceive one another.

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This does seem like an overreaction on your part. Maybe they realized the computer was thoroughly broken?

It was thoroughly broken? and they have not notified me for 4 weeks for what reason?
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First of all, kudos for your use of the term "smeg". Secondly, if it's that important to you, a simple conversation is all that is required.

Smeg, lol, it is pretty smeggy to get treated that way. They are lovely people if not a bit scarred, I am going to talk to them the next time I see them.
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Do they owe you a computer in exchange for something, or did they just offer it to you? If the latter, maybe they decided they still need it for something or they had somebody with a greater need to give it to. I might drop a hint related to needing a computer. I'm sure they don't think about it the way you do. They may have actually forgotten.

I don't know, and yes they sure don't think like me at all, and I guess you can forget, but that does not excuse someones actions.
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Well, I would simply ask them about it. There's all kinds of possible reasons they haven't given it to you, and getting my computer would mean more to me than waiting around and making deductions about their faith.

 

Are you buying it from them or are they just giving it to you?

How does that change the arrangements they made, it's free so they don't have to honor their word? I hope that's not what you would have said.
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Don't expect Christians to act any different that anyone else. They don't REALLY have the holy spook living inside then, it's all in their heads , so they act just about as human as anybody else.

Yes and when you do or say something that is dishonest you say, I'm sorry. That's also what humans can do.
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Well, very interesting comments, you all seem to be saying the same thing. For starters try asking more questions first if you think your not getting the full story, I mean how else can you advise someone without knowing what's going on?

 

As for the full story, there new neighbours, moved in 6 months ago, straight up they seemed friendly, just in our first meeting they were making promises to get me a new TV (for nothing) I declined, because it seemed too awkward. Later after a few months of getting to know them I asked them if they knew anyone who was throwing away an old computer(yes they said) I offered to pay them but they declined the offer and said, no we will do it for free. This was about 3 months ago I asked. I did ask them about it and they told me, it will only be a few days, then in another meeting they told me, it will be a week away, now it's been 4 weeks and I have not heard about the computer. As to the (christian reference) they are always complaining how people in their family screws with them and lies to them, but they themselfs are honest christians, they always find a way to invoke god, jesus, their church to bolster there sincerity.

 

Now, it seems that the only advice that seems useful is talking to them about it one last time and if they make another promise wait to see if they fulfill it and if not wipe my hands of the whole thing.

 

Well, you might have offered that background before.

 

In any case, I can see why you'd be upset. But the easiest solution is, yes, ask them about the status of the computer. And if they BS you once again, wash your hands of them and be done with it.

 

I hate dealing with people like that, too. Hate it hate it hate it. But please don't hang on to the resentment; that just gives the idiots continuing control over you.

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Well, very interesting comments, you all seem to be saying the same thing. For starters try asking more questions first if you think your not getting the full story, I mean how else can you advise someone without knowing what's going on?

 

As for the full story, there new neighbours, moved in 6 months ago, straight up they seemed friendly, just in our first meeting they were making promises to get me a new TV (for nothing) I declined, because it seemed too awkward. Later after a few months of getting to know them I asked them if they knew anyone who was throwing away an old computer(yes they said) I offered to pay them but they refused the offer and said, no we will do it for free. This was about 3 months ago I asked. I did ask them about it and they told me, it will only be a few days, then in another meeting they told me, it will be a week away, now it's been 4 weeks and I have not heard about the computer. As to the (christian reference) they are always complaining how people in their family screws with them and lies to them, but they themselfs are honest christians, they always find a way to invoke god, jesus, their church to bolster there sincerity.

 

Now, it seems that the only advice that seems useful is talking to them about it one last time and if they make another promise wait to see if they fulfill it and if not wipe my hands of the whole thing.

 

Sounds to me like they are just the kind of people who say whatever they think others want to hear.  They sound like people-pleasers.  Likely, there never was a serious effort on their part to help you with your computer issues; they probably just thought if one came their way, they'd pass it along to you.  Based on the number of posts you've made today, though, I'd wager you don't really need their help getting your hands on a computer.  You might should go ahead and forget about getting any kind of real help from them.

 

Definately sound like the smeggiest of smeg-heads, though.

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heh heh...    smeg

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Well, I would simply ask them about it. There's all kinds of possible reasons they haven't given it to you, and getting my computer would mean more to me than waiting around and making deductions about their faith.

 

Are you buying it from them or are they just giving it to you?

How does that change the arrangements they made, it's free so they don't have to honor their word? I hope that's not what you would have said.

Just that if you had already paid them or had to set money aside to pay them at time of transaction, they have a higher responsibility to keep their word. I'm not saying what they've done here is right; they've wasted your time making you wait for a computer they apparently were never going to have for you, and no, that's not what I would have done, BUT it seemed a little much for you to dig into their faith given the information you provided. And there was no reason for us to expect you were omitting important details to your own story.

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Well, very interesting comments, you all seem to be saying the same thing. For starters try asking more questions first if you think your not getting the full story, I mean how else can you advise someone without knowing what's going on?

 

As for the full story, there new neighbours, moved in 6 months ago, straight up they seemed friendly, just in our first meeting they were making promises to get me a new TV (for nothing) I declined, because it seemed too awkward. Later after a few months of getting to know them I asked them if they knew anyone who was throwing away an old computer(yes they said) I offered to pay them but they refused the offer and said, no we will do it for free. This was about 3 months ago I asked. I did ask them about it and they told me, it will only be a few days, then in another meeting they told me, it will be a week away, now it's been 4 weeks and I have not heard about the computer. As to the (christian reference) they are always complaining how people in their family screws with them and lies to them, but they themselfs are honest christians, they always find a way to invoke god, jesus, their church to bolster there sincerity.

 

Now, it seems that the only advice that seems useful is talking to them about it one last time and if they make another promise wait to see if they fulfill it and if not wipe my hands of the whole thing.

 

I would just ignore the offer since it never seems to appear. Then tell them you're an atheist. :-

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Well, I would simply ask them about it. There's all kinds of possible reasons they haven't given it to you, and getting my computer would mean more to me than waiting around and making deductions about their faith.

 

Are you buying it from them or are they just giving it to you?

How does that change the arrangements they made, it's free so they don't have to honor their word? I hope that's not what you would have said.
Just that if you had already paid them or had to set money aside to pay them at time of transaction, they have a higher responsibility to keep their word. I'm not saying what they've done here is right; they've wasted your time making you wait for a computer they apparently were never going to have for you, and no, that's not what I would have done, BUT it seemed a little much for you to dig into their faith given the information you provided. And there was no reason for us to expect you were omitting important details to your own story.
Ok my bad, I read my op a few times after I posted it and it seemed that it was clear, maybe it wasn't.

And I am glad I was wrong about you thinking that their offer means nothing because of it being free. (Sorry for jumping the gun there)

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Well, very interesting comments, you all seem to be saying the same thing. For starters try asking more questions first if you think your not getting the full story, I mean how else can you advise someone without knowing what's going on?

 

As for the full story, there new neighbours, moved in 6 months ago, straight up they seemed friendly, just in our first meeting they were making promises to get me a new TV (for nothing) I declined, because it seemed too awkward. Later after a few months of getting to know them I asked them if they knew anyone who was throwing away an old computer(yes they said) I offered to pay them but they refused the offer and said, no we will do it for free. This was about 3 months ago I asked. I did ask them about it and they told me, it will only be a few days, then in another meeting they told me, it will be a week away, now it's been 4 weeks and I have not heard about the computer. As to the (christian reference) they are always complaining how people in their family screws with them and lies to them, but they themselfs are honest christians, they always find a way to invoke god, jesus, their church to bolster there sincerity.

 

Now, it seems that the only advice that seems useful is talking to them about it one last time and if they make another promise wait to see if they fulfill it and if not wipe my hands of the whole thing.

I would just ignore the offer since it never seems to appear. Then tell them you're an atheist. :-

I have thought of just not getting personally involved with them anymore, it's also an idea I had.
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Well, very interesting comments, you all seem to be saying the same thing. For starters try asking more questions first if you think your not getting the full story, I mean how else can you advise someone without knowing what's going on?

 

As for the full story, there new neighbours, moved in 6 months ago, straight up they seemed friendly, just in our first meeting they were making promises to get me a new TV (for nothing) I declined, because it seemed too awkward. Later after a few months of getting to know them I asked them if they knew anyone who was throwing away an old computer(yes they said) I offered to pay them but they declined the offer and said, no we will do it for free. This was about 3 months ago I asked. I did ask them about it and they told me, it will only be a few days, then in another meeting they told me, it will be a week away, now it's been 4 weeks and I have not heard about the computer. As to the (christian reference) they are always complaining how people in their family screws with them and lies to them, but they themselfs are honest christians, they always find a way to invoke god, jesus, their church to bolster there sincerity.

 

Now, it seems that the only advice that seems useful is talking to them about it one last time and if they make another promise wait to see if they fulfill it and if not wipe my hands of the whole thing.

Well, you might have offered that background before.

 

In any case, I can see why you'd be upset. But the easiest solution is, yes, ask them about the status of the computer. And if they BS you once again, wash your hands of them and be done with it.

 

I hate dealing with people like that, too. Hate it hate it hate it. But please don't hang on to the resentment; that just gives the idiots continuing control over you.

The fact that there so nice when I talk to them makes me feel conflicted when they act that way.
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