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So I am sitting here in the hospital because my daughter developed a serious infection and her pediatrician felt it was serious enough that she needed surgical intervention. So my wife and I are hunkered down for the night waiting this thing out and I am full of various emotions. My wife posted on her Facebook about our ordeal and of course our families and our christian friends all responded with the obligatory "praying for you" responses. I have to admit that, while I know that a few of them actually care and will actually follow through on their comment, I have to admit that I mostly thought to myself "bullshit!" I have several friends that I would call true friends and they are all christians. But, I have to confess that even though I have never met anyone in these forums, I feel like I know many of you better and can trust what you say more than any of my friend. I am not writing this for any particular response, but more just to be talking and get my mind focused on something rather than worrying. I hate feeling helpless. I know more about how Ro-bear feels. My sympathies to you ro-bear. I am ready for this to be over. I used to rely on god for comfort, because for some reason I felt like he cared. At least that is what I was taught. Now I know otherwise and I have to confess, I don't like it. I guess it is just a harsh reality of life. It sucks. Thanks for listening to my rant. My wife is putting my daughter down to sleep and I need to help. So, off I go. 

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Hey, Storm, I have a four-year-old son and we have had a few scary nights with him.  I feel for you, my friend, and if there is anything I can do for you or your family, send me a PM.

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You know storm, I somewhat understand how you feel even when I was believer. I had a sense of hopelessness when my mother was in the hospital with heart pains and when a very, very close family member was struck with a bipolar disorder. The helplessness is crushing. My sincerest sympathies are with you.

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Ah, Storm, I'm so sorry. That's a scary situation. 

 

It probably doesn't help to say that kids are pretty strong and a lot of them get infections in childhood that can scare you to pieces but do end up clearing up pretty fast under a doctor's care, and they're back to full power in no time. But the waiting game sucks, and it can stress you out and try your patience terribly meanwhile. 

 

I hope she's out of the woods soon, and you all get to go home and sleep in your own beds. In hindsight, these situations always make me so grateful for my health and for my loved ones' health. But going through it is just awful, and I really feel for you and your wife and daughter. Please post updates to us as you get them. We'll be rooting for her and you. 

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Wow, Storm, that is hard. I promise I won't pray for you, OK? But seriously... not sure if you want me to pile on to your "bullshit" comment, but I completely agree. Have any of those people picked up the phone to call a local florist or gift basket store to send your daughter a cheery gift? Have any of them brought you and your wife coffee and brownies and sat with you for a minute? Have any of them personally delivered a stuffed animal or little puzzle or anything? Hell no, that would require them to do something.

 

I don't know how long your poor dear is going to be in the hospital, but if you PM me, I will call in a delivery for her. And I'm not just saying that! Seriously, anything "real" that I or anyone here can do, speak up, dear Dad! No need to suffer alone.

 

The only other thing you can do is be grateful. Thank your wife for being there with you, even though she is tired and worried. Thank the nurses for every little thing. Thank the doctor for his commitment to his education and years of experience. Be thankful that you live in a developed country with great medical facilities. Have faith in those people, because they are real and are going to make the difference for your daughter.

 

Keep us posted! And speak up if I/we can help. Seriously.

 

Now try to get some rest yourself!

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Not being able to do something is the worst, especially when its about a loved one.
At least your not under any illusions that praying is the solution.

Be strong for your daughter, and don't make it seem worse then it is. You both are probably more worried then she is (wish is obvious being parrents).

Things like these show how valuable and precious life really is. And your worrying show how much love you have for your daughter.

Do something fun with your daughter while she is in the hospital (i know that might be hard in the situation but hospitals are already depressing enough).

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Thank you all for your kind words. The doctors are hoping we will be out tonight. They are just waiting to see what the antibiotics can do before making a decisionabout surgical options. As of the last check, the swelling had not really changed, so I don't know what to expect at this point. Thanks for the offer renaissancewoman. I appreciate your kindness. I'm hoping we will be out of here soon. I'll try to let you all know more later.

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Storm, I am so sorry you are going through this delimma. It's a terrible feeling being completely powerless when it come to the human body. We can only control so much in life. It really hit me like a ton of bricks during deconverting that there was no god out there that was going to fix any situation.To me now, it is all about the 'survival of the fittest'. Let's hope that you get all the right doctors with all the knowledge in the world to help get your daughter back to heath again. And it does sound like these doctors know what they're doing!!

 

 We just had another very good friend diagnosed with prostrate cancer. He is a dear friend to me. We all travel together. When I heard about it, I instantly went out the door and bought them a beautiful christmas centerpiece, big box of chocolates and special Christmas coffee. My friend (the wife) cried when I showed up within the hour. I told her to 'pig out' on chocolates and get hyper on the coffee. It made her laugh because she is very upset about her husband. The rest of the  gang will 'pray' and because these friends of mine are all christians, they will love that also. They always think these things happen for a reason and that god will turn it all around. We, the deep thinkers....we know better, and that can scare the living crap out of you. Accepting life from an evolutionary point of view can be very hard on us x-believers.

 

Keep us posted on how you are doing because we here at Ex-c know how hard this is. My positive thoughts go out to you and your family today. Let's all hope together for the best outcome!! Big *hug* for you today.

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Thinking of you, Storm. I hope everything goes well for your daughter, today. Dealing with hospital stuff is the pits, and I do think that the hospital environment is a major part of the problem. We're here for you if you need us.

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I hope your daughter recovers quickly.  Feeling helpless as our children suffer is awful.  Take care, keep us posted, and please be sure to let us know if there is anything we can do.

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I can't add anything of importance to the obviously heart=felt comments already made. It occurred to me

that your situation is solid, but harsh proof that we agnostics and atheists did not deconvert to be

hedonists, but to search for and face reality, regardless of what we wish were true. It takes courage,

which you are demonstrating you have a lot of. Please keep us advised. bill

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I am happy to report that several doses of broad spectrum antibiotics have significantly reduced the swelling and it appears that the surgeon believes that he won't have to cut her open if the progress continues. He plans to do a (hopefully) final check tomorrow morning and drain out any leftover pus or whatever is left after the swelling is completely gone. So, hooray for science and medicine. My first real medical crisis since I left the faith. Certainly a test in mental strength and durability. I think I made it out ok. Thanks again for your comments and support. It's nice to know that there really are people who care out there, no religion necessary. To me, that's what its all about, being real because you can, not because you're supposed to. You all are fine folk and I'm proud to be among you.

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That's great news! I hope god guides the doctors in wisdom and god's healing hand touches....Errrr, wait..... Just kidding.....I hope sound science and medicine prevail and help heal your loved one.

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So, off I go.

My family was in a big car accident almost 20 years ago. I have one son who is paraplegic from it. It's been a roller coaster to say the least. I could write a book (but it would be very long and boring) about all things we had to endure as a family.

 

Some tough times in life we never can fully heal from, but we learn to see the few positive things in life when everything else is in the crapper. My thoughts are with you, and I hope everything will get better for you and yours.

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I am happy to report that several doses of broad spectrum antibiotics have significantly reduced the swelling and it appears that the surgeon believes that he won't have to cut her open if the progress continues. He plans to do a (hopefully) final check tomorrow morning and drain out any leftover pus or whatever is left after the swelling is completely gone. So, hooray for science and medicine. My first real medical crisis since I left the faith. Certainly a test in mental strength and durability. I think I made it out ok. Thanks again for your comments and support. It's nice to know that there really are people who care out there, no religion necessary. To me, that's what its all about, being real because you can, not because you're supposed to. You all are fine folk and I'm proud to be among you.

Glad to hear your daughter is doing better. I was in the ER myself with my daughter last night for dehydration from a stomach bug, so I can empathize with your feelings. No prayers asked for here either. Hope she gets to go home soon, in the meantime let the wonderful people in the medical community do what they do best. That is what gave me great comfort when my son was in the NICU when he was born....the knowledge of the doctors, the doting and comfort and care of the nurses and other staff who do what they do not just for a paycheck, but because they truly care about making their patients well. 

Best wishes!

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Thanks for sharing with us, Storm.  I'm happy to hear that you daughter appears to be out of the woods.

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Happy to hear about this positive turn of events for your child. All the best to you and your family, and yes, lots of appreciation for science, medicine and the brave and smart health care practitioners out there, being everyday heroes, everyday.

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Thanks for the update! How are you feeling? Are you getting any rest? Take care of yourself, get some good food in you and your wife. Drink some extra water to flush out all the extra adrenaline and toxic byproducts you two probably have pulsing in your weary bodies. Cheers to all three of you!

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They went ahead and did the surgical procedure on her and it went well. Said there was a large infected pocket. Cleaned it all out. So now the healing process begins. The wife and I are well. Ready to just be home and have some feeling of normalcy. Glad I can be real and open with you guys. Sick of seeing "praying for you". As a Christian I thought it meant that people cared. But now, I couldn't care less, I know what it really means for most of the people saying it. Now I get to go through the "God protected her" crap. Does it ever end? Why can't people just be real and acknowledge who really did all the work?

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Hey Storm - Thanks for sharing this with us. I am honored to be included in your circle of friends.

 

There is a custom that I once read about in which a person who wanted to express his/her sympathy for someone who has experienced a death or traumatic experience would simply sit with the person who was suffering and say nothing. The longer they maintained their vigil with the sufferer, the greater the expression of co-grieving. I always thought that a beautiful expression.

 

Words cannot allay sorrow or anxiety. Please know that if we were geographically close, we in this community would be there sitting with you. As it is, you will remain in my thoughts today.

 

The progress is good but I would love to know that your daughter makes it through. Please keep us updated.

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My family was in a big car accident almost 20 years ago. I have one son who is paraplegic from it. It's been a roller coaster to say the least. I could write a book (but it would be very long and boring) about all things we had to endure as a family......

 

Hey Storm, glad to hear your daughter came through the surgery and is on the mend. It sucks to see our children suffer in any way.

 

Ouroboros, ((HUGS)) I just can't imagine...

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Storm, I would like to extend well wishes for your whole family. It sounds like this scary situation may have a happy ending. I love happy endings and It sounds like you're going to get one.

 

Prayer is silly. I know that now. How many times did I pray for the sick or depressed and received no results from God. Thank Heavens for good doctors. I'm happy for all of you.

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