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The "monthly" Rant!


Guest SerenityNow
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Guest SerenityNow

I'm tired, edgy, very moody, touchy, cramping and just overall disgusted for no reason, other than it is that time of the month. Every now and then I have a "gush" and stand up to make sure that I haven't leaked through. Can't were a tampon because my flow is so extremely heavy that I have to change every hour , so I have like 3 overnight StayFree Maxi Pads on. Can't wear Always anymore because they've changed or added something new, I wore them for years then suddenly they gave me a rash. :shrug:

 

Day two of my cycle is the ONLY time I experience mood swings and a strong desire to eat a Snickers bar the size of the empire state building. My kids are wonderful and sweet and I'm biting their poor heads off today for NO REASON! My belly and back have a dull ache and dammit, I feel bloated and well I just feel like whining.

 

Okay, carry on, my "pity me" rant is over. :grin: No need to call the "waaabulance".

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I'm tired, edgy, very moody, touchy, cramping and just overall disgusted for no reason, other than it is that time of the month. Every now and then I have a "gush" and stand up to make sure that I haven't leaked through. Can't were a tampon because my flow is so extremely heavy that I have to change every hour , so I have like 3 overnight StayFree Maxi Pads on. Can't wear Always anymore because they've changed or added something new, I wore them for years then suddenly they gave me a rash. :shrug:

 

Day two of my cycle is the ONLY time I experience mood swings and a strong desire to eat a Snickers bar the size of the empire state building. My kids are wonderful and sweet and I'm biting their poor heads off today for NO REASON! My belly and back have a dull ache and dammit, I feel bloated and well I just feel like whining.

 

Okay, carry on, my "pity me" rant is over. :grin: No need to call the "waaabulance".

 

 

I'm sorry......I don't mean to laugh but......

 

 

:lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao:

 

I SO understand!!

 

*gives Serenity a huge hug* and a snickers bar the size of the Empire State Building.

 

Might I also suggest a steamy shower and a glass of wine?

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Ahh... I'm so glad my girlfriend is off Depo.

 

She was like that ALL THE TIME.

 

Thanks for helping me appreciate her more. I'll buy her flowers or something on the way home.

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Serenity dear...

 

that is WHY I built a big assed SHOP on side of new haciendaFatman...

 

To HIDE OUT for the week a month when diamonds and flowers are sent back to send with something explosive attached..

 

k, hides out, 'cause its prudent thing to do, cowardice in face of unbeatable enemy, L

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Guest RichStPete

Ohhh yeah, I grew up with three sisters so I know what your going through. Ok actually I don't but I've been through these times with women I care about. This must be "satans" curse!! ... ok could'nt resist that one... Just be thankful that this too shall pass for at least another month... Oh my how do men put up with this??

 

Thank dog Im gay!!! LOL

 

 

Happy New Year to all!

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Hey. Count me in on the miserable period bandwagon. I so totally hear ya, darlin'.

 

I got a heavy flow too. I wouldn't mind it so much if it were just the flow. It's a bit messy, but just part of life. The really awful parts are the bloating, depression, irritability, back pain, bowel pain, bladder pain, painful urination, alternating constipation and runs, headaches, and doubling over from cramps that won't respond anymore to OTC meds. The clots are kind of a pain too. And I'd really love to be able to wear some color other than black or red underwear that week, y'know?

 

I had a boyfriend once who had the audacity to complain to me one time during mid-flow that my period was so hard on him because I was such a bitch, and that I really needed to consider his feelings more.

 

I promptly ripped off his head and spit down his neck.

 

You know what's really ironic about PMS and stuff? You know what's a big part of why it happens? Androgens.. Yup. Male hormones.

 

The idea is, both men and women produce both male and female hormones, men just produce more androgens (like testosterone), and women for the most part produce more girly hormones. What happens with a woman is that she generally makes the same small amount of androgens all month long, but just before and during her period, the level of girly hormones produced drops down to less than the level of androgens produced, so the effect of the androgens is unmasked. And causes pimples, mood swings, irritability, bloating, etc.

 

So the next time you hear somebody make an insensitive comment about "women's hormones", you can explain how it really works before you rip off their head and spit down their neck. Men actually have a hormonal cycle too, it just averages about 24 hours rather than 28 days, so is a bit less noticeable.

 

Frankly I dunno how guys can live like that all month. I'm glad it just comes 12 times a year instead.

 

I swear, though, I've gotten to the point that I'm ready to rip out my plumbing with a rusty grapefruit spoon. I was on the pill a bit ago to calm stuff down; I took it continuously, without taking the placebo week, and it was HEAVEN. Almost no bleeding at all. I think when I go in for my next physical I'm going to do that again. It was great.

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I have nothing to add that has not already been said, so I will give a good reason to thank the God of menses that we have come as far as we have.

 

mense_belt.jpg

This is a retro advertisement for a Japanese menstrual belt

 

 

 

BTW, there is a Museum of Menstruation in New Carrollton, Maryland

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

* Ok, so I'm a big bullshittin phony about leaving. Can't stay away from you people. :dumbo:

**Actually I just have some time to screw around for the next 24 hours. Leaving for New York one day later than planned.

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I have five-week cycles. The good news.

 

The bad news? If I skip a period, I have PMS FOR A FUCKING MONTH.

 

I'm getting the shot SO definitely. Fuck how it's "unnatural" - do you eat your meat raw and sleep in a tree? No? Then FUCK YOU.

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Damn, we are twins!!!

 

One week a month, menopause actually looks like something to look forward to.

 

LOL, mine got hers as a Christmas present. We're in our mid 40s, she hasn't had it since August. She had just said the day before that we had a lot of sex in the last few months, she hadn't 'had a break' for 3-4 days in a while.. then thenext day, she gets it.

 

She was complaining about the flow too, like SerenityNow. I just stay away :)

 

That's one thing you females have on us males... we cut our finger and it's more than we want to deal with.

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Oh, and of course, stress makes it all WORSE.

 

I'm on LoestrinFE and Prozac, to combat the PCOS and the generalized anxiety disorder.

 

Between them, I manage to stay mostly human during PMS and the first day of my period.

 

However, with the cramps, the backache, the upper thigh aches, the joint pain, the swelling and bloating, and the fucked up mood swings, I'm very much looking forward to menopause.

 

My husband doesn't complain anymore about how my PMS affects him, not since I told him to imagine getting smacked in the balls, just enough to make his balls throb with pain but not throw up, and having that pain, along with a back ache, bloating, joint pain, and weird mood swings for a week. Nope, he just says, "Yes dear, I'll get you the ice pack for your migraine, the heating pad for your cramps, and did you need chocolate, sweetie? Let me get you some Midol while I'm up, when was the last time you had a dose?" I guess that put it in perspective for him...

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My problem is that the pain ticks me off. Four days of feeling like your guts are being twisted and ripped around really gets to me and thus, I get a tiny bit violent. That and I really don't understand how I can be standing perfectly straight and have it go everywhere BUT the pad. Blood defies gravity.

And then, once the pain passes momentarily, all I want to do is curl up in a dark corner with a soft blanket and whimper for a while, but I can't because I'm at work, making one fat bastard 20 freaking sandwiches.

The funny thing is that in my 6th grade sex ed class, the teacher (a female) stood up there and told us there was no such thing as PMS. That it was just a trick of the mind and an excuse for women to act badly and get away with it. How I wish I could throw a bloody tampon at her.

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Reading all of this girl talk reminded me of years ago, while working as a massage therapist, what my first day of work was like at a very exclusive day spa...being the only male employee. I felt like I was on a different planet....tried to initially keep to myself by reading a magazine, but none of the women-oriented titles interested me...plus I felt self-concious because I felt they were all staring at me, equally wondering what to do with me, a male on their turf....this is different than encountering the opposite sex in the no-man/womans land of a bar or restaurant...I was behind enemy lines....so, reluctantly, I decided to make some conversation with the receptionist. Keep in mind that I had naver seen or spoken to her before in my life....and I asked "...so, how's it going today..." , she immediately looked me square in the eye and said "...I feel like shit. I'm on the rag and have a headache, I could just fucking kill somebody. You don't know what that's like. You don't have to go through this every month. Just stay the fuck out of my way when I'm like this..." and immediately all of the other girls in the room looked at me with equal hostility. I heard faint, sympathetic crys of "...yeah, that's right..." spoken from the rear of the crowd. They began moving toward me..murmuring obscenities...instinctively, I grabbed a large stapler on the desk to protect myself...on seeing that, the angry mob edged away...

 

Okay, Most of that is actually true. The receptionist did say that. I just got a little carried away with story-telling at the end. What is also true is that we worked so many hours together that working there really dominated our lives, and these girls consequently all wound up having their periods at the same time. So, every few weeks I would come to work, and be universally greeted by that look that said "...you fucker, you don't know what it's like..." , and of course my first decent male impulse was to be considerate, and respectful. Now I know better...

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My problem is that the pain ticks me off. Four days of feeling like your guts are being twisted and ripped around really gets to me and thus, I get a tiny bit violent. That and I really don't understand how I can be standing perfectly straight and have it go everywhere BUT the pad. Blood defies gravity.

And then, once the pain passes momentarily, all I want to do is curl up in a dark corner with a soft blanket and whimper for a while, but I can't because I'm at work, making one fat bastard 20 freaking sandwiches.

The funny thing is that in my 6th grade sex ed class, the teacher (a female) stood up there and told us there was no such thing as PMS. That it was just a trick of the mind and an excuse for women to act badly and get away with it. How I wish I could throw a bloody tampon at her.

 

 

I remember my mother telling me that cramps were not for real. Must be why, when I encountered them for the first time and fainted from the pain, I thought it was food poisoning. Took me a few years to figure it out, as I did not get them every month until the past 3-4 years.

 

Reading all of this makes me not feel so bad, though. Any pain I get only lasts about 6 hours on the first day, and I don't get too moody. I've also learned that Valerian root keeps the cramps at bay. Wish I knew that before I had to crawl back and forth from couch to bathroom to hurl at a friend's baby shower...

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I've read that severe cramps can be a sign of calcium deficiency, and I usually get pretty bad cramps the first couple of days during my period, so I've started taking supplements now. I've also gone to a website where you can track your symptoms, in hopes that changing your lifestyle will improve them. So we'll see.

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Every so often I'll get a really bad menses which includes intense abdominal pain (once I fainted because of cramps and freaked my mom right out because she thought my appendix had burst or something), nausea (usually only on the first day and after I throw up once or twice I'm fine), crippling headaches, and bloating. And my periods always last a full seven days (or more). The only thing I find that works is alcohol and heating pads to the abdomen.

 

Ah, the curse. Our monthly punishment for not popping out another kid.

 

Also, what's with the whole synchronizing thing? My period could be scheduled for an entirely different date, but if I happened to come home on a weekend when my mom's on the rag then I'll inevitably get my period a few days later, even if I'm not due for weeks. Like Nature decided to spread the misery around (or concentrate it all in one time period in order to give men a fair chance...who knows?).

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I'm on the pill, so at least it's narrowed down to exactly "when" I'm going to be irritated.

 

Funny enough, the menstruation itself is no problem. Three days (thank you pill!), not bad.

 

It's the days leading up to the flow that are miserable. Lethargic and bloaty feeling. And here's a little quirk that I haven't seen mentioned yet.....not for squemish people....

 

 

36 or so hours before flow is supposed to start.......body cannot poop! It's like all the cramping going un in the front of the body has stolen all the damn nerve endings! The message: "toilet bowl under your butt.....you may now commence pooping" is completely ignored!

 

This does nothing to alleviate the bloated feeling. If anything it compounds the: "alright body, start bleeding already!"

 

It's probably a good thing for the male population around me that my PMS causes lethargy. It's really not in my sane interests to possess BOTH the will and the energy to strangle them with a phone cord.

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Ewwwww!

 

If there was such a thing, I would thank god I am a gay male! :HappyCry:

 

I can still remember seeing those 'strange' boxes under the bathroom sink as a kid and knowing instinctively not to ask what they were.

 

Intelligent design my ass!

 

IBF

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097-haystack_animation.gif

 

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maserati.jpg

 

Sorry... just keeping the estrogen from overflowing and subsuming the rest of this board.

 

I gotta rub some testicles on this thread every so often or it'll explode in a giant gout of clumpy blood and women screaming that all their shoes are ugly.

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