Is It Disrespectful To Participate In Communion?

[WaitingInfinity]

I am being dragged to my family's New Year's Eve Communion/Prayer Service instead of being allowed to stay home for my birthday party I want to have that night.

 

(On a side note, does anyone have any ideas/arguments to help me get out of it?)

 

Since I don't believe, would it be disrespectful for me to participate in communion? If I don't, it will be obvious that something is up because everyone--especially my dad--will see that I didn't take communion. However, I don't feel comfortable taking it. The Nazarene Manual says that those who do not believe should not participate in communion and I firmly believe that it is disrespectful to those present if I participate in something falsely. 

 

Do you think it would be disrespectful for me to take communion? 

 

I added the poll above to make this a general topic because I think this is an interesting question. What do you all think about it for yourselves?

[Tollo]

I take it to blend in. Why do you think it would be disrespectful? If I understand correctly, they just think nonbelievers who take it will be extra-extra eternally damned as opposed to regular eternally damned? Or maybe the Nazarine denomination thinks different. Hmm. I'm not sure how it is disrespectful, though, it's not like you're making a scene?

[TheRedneckProfessor]

If it means avoiding a dust-up with your family, then I say take it.  It's only bread and wine (or grape juice).

 

If you feel like you would be disrespecting others, then consider yourself a better person for realizing it in contrast to how those people have and/or will disrespect you, without even a second thought, for the beliefs you hold now. 

[WaitingInfinity]

I take it to blend in. Why do you think it would be disrespectful? If I understand correctly, they just think nonbelievers who take it will be extra-extra eternally damned as opposed to regular eternally damned? Or maybe the Nazarine denomination thinks different. Hmm. I'm not sure how it is disrespectful, though, it's not like you're making a scene?

 

As I learned, it was something to do with not being serious about the sacrament. I also heard somewhere that it was considered sinful to participate in communion as a non-believer because God knows your heart. Which is weird that I feel like it is disrespectful and I don't even believe in sins or gods.

 

Here is the article from the Nazarene Manual about it. 

 

Gaaah it uses guilt triggering words like "reverent appreciation", "declarative" and "significance"! I have none of those.

 

XIII. The Lord’s Supper

17. We believe that the Memorial and Communion Supper instituted by our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ is essentially a New Testament sacrament, declarative of His sacrificial death, through the merits of which believers have life and salvation and promise of all spiritual blessings in Christ. It is distinctively for those who are prepared for reverent appreciation of its significance, and by it they show forth the Lord’s death till He come again. It being the Communion feast, only those who have faith in Christ and love for the saints should be called to participate therein.

[Tollo]

 

I take it to blend in. Why do you think it would be disrespectful? If I understand correctly, they just think nonbelievers who take it will be extra-extra eternally damned as opposed to regular eternally damned? Or maybe the Nazarine denomination thinks different. Hmm. I'm not sure how it is disrespectful, though, it's not like you're making a scene?

 

As I learned, it was something to do with not being serious about the sacrament. I also heard somewhere that it was considered sinful to participate in communion as a non-believer because God knows your heart. Which is weird that I feel like it is disrespectful and I don't even believe in sins or gods.

 

Here is the article from the Nazarene Manual about it. 

 

Gaaah it uses guilt triggering words like "reverent appreciation", "declarative" and "significance"! I have none of those.

 

XIII. The Lord’s Supper

17. We believe that the Memorial and Communion Supper instituted by our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ is essentially a New Testament sacrament, declarative of His sacrificial death, through the merits of which believers have life and salvation and promise of all spiritual blessings in Christ. It is distinctively for those who are prepared for reverent appreciation of its significance, and by it they show forth the Lord’s death till He come again. It being the Communion feast, only those who have faith in Christ and love for the saints should be called to participate therein.

 

 

I get that, my denomination actually says that a nonbeliever who takes communion "eats and drinks judgment upon himself," but... I don't know. My perspective is that if I have to go to church every week for the time being (please don't lecture me, it's bearable), I'm going to try to appreciate the ceremonial aspects of it for what they're worth and not cause a scene ... it seems more disrespectful to me to not participate than it does to take it as a nonbeliever. I guess it depends mostly on whether you're "out" as an atheist. Are you? Sorry, I haven't read all your posts.

[WaitingInfinity]

 

 

I take it to blend in. Why do you think it would be disrespectful? If I understand correctly, they just think nonbelievers who take it will be extra-extra eternally damned as opposed to regular eternally damned? Or maybe the Nazarine denomination thinks different. Hmm. I'm not sure how it is disrespectful, though, it's not like you're making a scene?

 

As I learned, it was something to do with not being serious about the sacrament. I also heard somewhere that it was considered sinful to participate in communion as a non-believer because God knows your heart. Which is weird that I feel like it is disrespectful and I don't even believe in sins or gods.

 

Here is the article from the Nazarene Manual about it. 

 

Gaaah it uses guilt triggering words like "reverent appreciation", "declarative" and "significance"! I have none of those.

 

XIII. The Lord’s Supper

17. We believe that the Memorial and Communion Supper instituted by our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ is essentially a New Testament sacrament, declarative of His sacrificial death, through the merits of which believers have life and salvation and promise of all spiritual blessings in Christ. It is distinctively for those who are prepared for reverent appreciation of its significance, and by it they show forth the Lord’s death till He come again. It being the Communion feast, only those who have faith in Christ and love for the saints should be called to participate therein.

 

 

I get that, my denomination actually says that a nonbeliever who takes communion "eats and drinks judgment upon himself," but... I don't know. My perspective is that if I have to go to church every week for the time being (please don't lecture me, it's bearable), I'm going to try to appreciate the ceremonial aspects of it for what they're worth and not cause a scene ... it seems more disrespectful to me to not participate than it does to take it as a nonbeliever. I guess it depends mostly on whether you're "out" as an atheist. Are you? Sorry, I haven't read all your posts.

 

 

I'm only out to my boyfriend and best friend. Not my family yet. So it sucks sometimes. I go to church once a week to keep up appearances. I hate it.

[TheRedneckProfessor]

Okay, jesus, whose "sacrificial death" you are "declaring" to have "significance" enough to warrant "reverent appreciation" said, "I did not come to bring peace, but a sword.  I came to put father against son, mother against daughter."

 

This same jesus, whose "sacrificial death"...etc, also said, "Blessed are the peacemakers."

 

For now, overlook the contradiction and consider this: by taking communion, you avoid a fight with your father.  Doing so makes you a peacemaker.  Is that not significant enough to show the reverent appreciation required?  You are choosing to revere the peace-keeping jesus over the jesus who is in all actuality, putting you at odds with the other members of your family.

[WaitingInfinity]

Okay, jesus, whose "sacrificial death" you are "declaring" to have "significance" enough to warrant "reverent appreciation" said, "I did not come to bring peace, but a sword.  I came to put father against son, mother against daughter."

 

This same jesus, whose "sacrificial death"...etc, also said, "Blessed are the peacemakers."

 

For now, overlook the contradiction and consider this: by taking communion, you avoid a fight with your father.  Doing so makes you a peacemaker.  Is that not significant enough to show the reverent appreciation required?  You are choosing to revere the peace-keeping jesus over the jesus who is in all actuality, putting you at odds with the other members of your family.

 

Ace.

[Tollo]

@WaitingInfinity, I'm pretty close to the same boat there. 

 

I don't think Christians see atheists who refuse rituals as any better than atheists who don't... maybe potential converts, but not ex-christian atheists. I think people like us who are stuck in church have nothing to lose from taking communion and what we have to gain is no one kicks us out of the house or gives us a bad time... so, what TheRedneckProfessor said. 

 

I'm still curious where you think the disrespect comes in? I can't think of a good analogy and I just... I don't know, it doesn't make sense to me. Do you feel like its somehow appropriative?

 

Edit: typo

[Blue elephant]

I selected the "Other" option. My ideal answer would have been "Yes, it is disrespectful, but I would take it if the circumstances called for it."

 

Your family are being disrespectful by obliging you to go to this service, so I reckon that you just do what you need to in this situation to make your life passage smooth. I am not sure whether you have told your parents just how far down the path of Ex-Christianity. And if you are still dependent on them financially, it is probably wiser to save them from the full story.

 

You may wish to think of this as a "paying job". Your hours of duty are those hours when you are made to go to church. If they are paying your tuition, as well as feeding you and providing you with a roof over your head, the "hourly rate" for this job may be quite high.

 

BUT, it is sad that it has to be that way!

[WaitingInfinity]

@Tollo

 

Well, it's like getting married. I wouldn't want to get married in a church since I don't profess Christianity. I know some people wouldn't have a problem with it, but I wouldn't deface a Bible. I guess that even though I don't believe it, I still want to respect those who do believe it.

 

With communion, even though no one knows I don't believe, I feel as though it is a false representation of myself, a pretending to be who I am not. This is an issue I have always struggled with, especially now as an ex-Christian. That's probably where the root of this problem is.

[WaitingInfinity]

@Blue elephant

 

Fixed it so your answer is included and your vote is now on that line. Thanks for that. I missed that. I like your job analogy. I had not thought of it like a job to keep me not broke. 

[Tollo]

@Tollo

 

Well, it's like getting married. I wouldn't want to get married in a church since I don't profess Christianity. I know some people wouldn't have a problem with it, but I wouldn't deface a Bible. I guess that even though I don't believe it, I still want to respect those who do believe it.

 

With communion, even though no one knows I don't believe, I feel as though it is a false representation of myself, a pretending to be who I am not. This is an issue I have always struggled with, especially now as an ex-Christian. That's probably where the root of this problem is.

 

I see, that makes sense, especially the false representation thing. I've come down more on the side on guarding my beliefs and inner thoughts from other people and that I don't owe them an explanation, but your preference makes sense to me too. The whole identity/self-representation thing is kind of hard when you deconvert and when you're our age (I'm 21), and in general I suppose.

[flockoff]

I don't know what your family situation is, but if they are "dragging you" there as you put it and they are the ones who would take offense at you abiding your own convictions, then they have failed to respect you and you're under no obligation to feel concerned about something like this.

 

I say grace with my family. I don't feel guilty for the dishonesty involved because the only other option is letting them think I'm going to hell, which is out of the question, so, why worry about it? And the particular practice/doctrine involved shouldn't change that in any way. It's not a case of you going out of your way to take advantage of them. Far from it.

 

Even more so, even if you want to frame it as disrespect, it would be the religion you're disrespecting, not them. And to paraphrase an old British gent from youtube who is less than unanimously popular here: you in fact have every reason to actively *dis*respect religion to the point of outright abuse.

 

You've gone the extra mile as it is.

[Lilith666]

Under normal circumstances, it would not be nice for a non-believer to casually take communion. But these aren't normal circumstances, and that's not what you're doing. Xianity is hemming you in here. First they say it's rude to take communion as a non-Xian, but then your family is forcing you to stay in the closet. What other choice do you have?

 

I'm confused about why you care what the Nazarene thing says. You're not Xian, so why give a rip what the Xian rules say? Do whatever you think is best. Don't worry about the "disrespect"--that's not your intention.

[Lilith666]

XIII. The Lord’s Supper

17. We believe that the Memorial and Communion Supper instituted by our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ is essentially a New Testament sacrament, declarative of His sacrificial death, through the merits of which believers have life and salvation and promise of all spiritual blessings in Christ. It is distinctively for those who are prepared for reverent appreciation of its significance, and by it they show forth the Lord’s death till He come again. It being the Communion feast, only those who have faith in Christ and love for the saints should be called to participate therein.

 

 

It's cute how they emphasize that, like they expect the rest of us to follow their rules and fear punishment if we don't.  Really, WI, you're good. Hakuna matata.

 

 

[Mutantmoose]

Yeah, if You are of one denomination, you shouldn't participate in the rites of another, for instance, a Lutheran wouldn't take Catholic communion, but in your case, do what you need to do. You are not disrespecting anything - there is nothing to disrespect.

[mymistake]

 

I'm only out to my boyfriend and best friend. Not my family yet. So it sucks sometimes. I go to church once a week to keep up appearances. I hate it.

 

 

Then definitely take the communion.

 

Happy Birthday!

 

I attended Nazarene for like 10 years so I can empathize.  Have you been sank dee fied yet?  They are so funny with their rules and legalisms.

[WaitingInfinity]

 

 

Happy Birthday!

 

I attended Nazarene for like 10 years so I can empathize.  Have you been sank dee fied yet?  They are so funny with their rules and legalisms.

 

 

Thanks. It's close now. 5 days left! 

 

No, I never got sanctified. Or blessed or any of that. I always wondered when that was going to happen to me. Or why my conversion was never as grandiose as the conversions of all the old people who testified about their conversion experiences and began weeping because of the memory. Mine was so uneventful and not great at all. I never saw myself as an old person, weeping about Jesus calling me to the altar. There are plenty of things I cry about--I cry so easily!--but my conversion experience doesn't seem like a cry-fest.

 

The more I read about sanctification, the more I think it is stupid. Just a "Christian way" of lording your "unsinfulness" and "better than thou" status over others. 

 

Yeah, the rules and legalisms. I lived that life and I'm glad I am out, er, mostly out. They are so focused on appearances and things.

[Thurisaz]

I consider christian rituals purely social in nature, so if it means much to someone I like that I attend then I will consider it, and I've done it in the past. I usually won't join in any prayers or hymns though.

 

Because you know... that would be disrespectful toward the High Gods I honor

 

(of course things could get interesting if someone noted that and asked me for my reasons, but so far this hasn't happened)

[Ramen666]

I have had to in the past, just not to cause a shitstorm. I mean what else I am I gonna do, already wasting my time in church anyway. Disrespect? Who cares? You are not a Christian. Also look at it this way, you are showing more "respect" than they would to you as a nonbeliever. You are being the better person.

[Deva]

I would take communion, but it also depends on the circumstances.  I have no hesitation in taking communion in an Episcopal Church where the priest says "everyone is welcome regardless" beforehand. In fact, I did that at a Christmas Eve service I attended. The priest gave a sermon which sounded very universalist to me.  He said things such as "we are one big family."

 

I did not recite prayers and I did not recite the creed. I don't believe any of it; and actually I know it wouldn't personally do me any harm to take it anywhere, but for some strange reason I still like to be respectful of the church's rules. I would not want to do it in a church with a closed communion, such as a Roman Catholic Church, and I would find out if I could whether or not it was closed before I went to the service.

[Discern]

I went to a mormon church recently just to see what it was like. Turns out they do communion every single week. I was tossing up what to do: Do I take communion or do I just pass it along?

 

I know what the bible says: communion is for genuine believers only, and if you take it as an unbeliever, then you're insulting Christ and you bring "judgement upon yourself" (1 Cor 11:26-29). Of course, some christians haven't got a clue that verse is there. I didn't want to be a hypocrite and pretend I'm a believer, and I didn't want to come across as mocking them by taking it. However at the same time I didn't want give out some kind of defiant/disrespectful vibe by refusing to take it. Bit of a dilemma depending on which angle you look at it, and depending on how much bible each believer actually knows.

 

Anyway, given the fact that they would eventually find out that I'm an ex-christian, I decided not to take communion.

[slave2six]

I had a similar situation at my mom's funeral but since everyone already knows I'm an ex-christian it didn't matter.

 

If you're trying to avoid conflict, just do it. 

 

TBH, if the Nazarenes don't hold to all the sacraments (Including confession) then they are, technically, apostate anyways. You're just trying to avoid a fight. They're ignoring the fundamentals of the faith entirely. Which is worse?

 

Ways out of this:

• Go to the bathroom during communion
   
• Avoid the whole thing by telling your family that you're sick. It wouldn't even be lying if what you're sick of is religious intimidation
   
• If you're traveling with your family, let the air out of two of the car's tires so no one can go
   
• Tell your family that you have become a Baptist. Then when you tell them that you are merely an Atheist, they'll be relieved.

[falemon]

Went to a synagogue in Jerusalem and they had a communion afterwards. Didn't bother me one bit, I ate the life out of those delicious cream filled cakes like a fat kit low on insulin (or high on insulin)!