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Goodbye Jesus

Is It Disrespectful To Participate In Communion?


WaitingInfinity

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I am being dragged to my family's New Year's Eve Communion/Prayer Service instead of being allowed to stay home for my birthday party I want to have that night.

 

(On a side note, does anyone have any ideas/arguments to help me get out of it?)

 

Since I don't believe, would it be disrespectful for me to participate in communion? If I don't, it will be obvious that something is up because everyone--especially my dad--will see that I didn't take communion. However, I don't feel comfortable taking it. The Nazarene Manual says that those who do not believe should not participate in communion and I firmly believe that it is disrespectful to those present if I participate in something falsely. 

 

Do you think it would be disrespectful for me to take communion? 

 

I added the poll above to make this a general topic because I think this is an interesting question. What do you all think about it for yourselves?

 

 

Disrespect is an overt negative behavior towards a person, imo. How can it be disrespectful to others to take communion when really all you're doing is eating a cracker and drinking grape juice in the presence of people who think you believe it is something more significant?

 

That's my rationalization. Do your best to lay low, pretend to believe and then when you are legally and financially able, move out.

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I voted “Yes. I would not take communion as a non-believer,” but this response is not categorical; I am responding out of my particular situation. In my former religion, Roman Catholicism, only those “in communion with” the RCC (which includes Eastern Orthodox Christians, but not Protestants) and not conscious of grave sin (e.g., apostasy wink.png ) are allowed to partake. Of course, I no longer recognize church law, but I am still on good terms with members of my former faith. When in their house, I will respect their rules, not out of respect for the church (which I hold in contempt), but out of respect for my friends and family.

 

I do not begrudge P.Z. Myers his sacrilege, and I applaud the point he made. Yes, some Catholics went over the top in their reaction, exposing that underneath their exceptional American veneer lurks the same violent potential we’ve seen in some Muslims. Someone needed to perform that experiment. However, we are in dissimilar social contexts, and it would not have been appropriate for me to be the one.

 

Also relating to my situation, I voted as a former Catholic because I do not know the views of other Christian brands on this matter.

 

[edit]After reading the other posts, I realize that there is an issue of disrespect for not taking communion, and also of outing oneself. Neither of these apply in my case. For the latter, I am out to anyone who chooses to open their eyes to it. For the former, of the communion services I have attended (Baptist and Catholic) I have not experienced any community that perceived sitting out communion as a slight. In the Catholic churches I have attended, it is considered a private matter between you and the god, and no one asks questions.

 

Since reading the experiences of other ex-Catholics, I now realize that some Catholics aren’t so non-judgmental. To them, I say it’s none of their fucking business whether their daughter takes communion, and the RCC will back me up on that.

 

I’m sorry, I have no experience with the Nazarenes.[/edit]

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Since I’m an unequally yoked non-believer I have to deal with this issue on a regular basis. When we attended a fundy congregation I was “always” one of the servers and the Lords Supper was celebrated every week. That was actually a good thing because I served others but not myself. No one ever noticed that I didn’t participate.

 

We attend a liberal congregation now and they only do it quarterly but the congregation comes forward row by row to participate. So, if someone stays in their seat they attract attention to themselves. I don’t want to do that because it would embarrass my wife, and invite questions that I don’t want to deal with,  so I participate.  It obviously has no meaning to me anymore, so it just isn’t a big deal one way or the other.

 

One of the definitions for the word disrespect is:  contempt; rudeness. By definition then disrespecting the Lords Supper would require an intentional and overt act. I don’t think simply participating respectfully in something that doesn’t have any meaning to you meets the definition of disrespect. Now if you choose to make an ass of yourself while participating that would seemingly meet the definition of disrespect.

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In most churches it is a quite serious sacrament, so it would be disrespectful. It is also disrespectful to misrepresent oneself just to keep a false peace.

 

Of course a minor child sometimes must play along with the parents wishes.

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Echoing what Cousin Ricky says here in his excellent post.

 

My extended family is Roman Catholic, and my immediate family is atheist. As far as I know (which only really covers Roman Catholicism, I don't know enough about Nazarene flavour Christianity to tell) the only thing people will assume if you don't take communion is that you haven't gotten around to going to confession yet. It's not uncommon for people to just sit it out. Now, if it will get you in trouble with your community, to skip it, then by all means take it, if just to avoid trouble. If they didn't want people deceiving them, they shouldn't be so cruel to people being honest. It's not disrespect, it's a survival tactic.

 

Now, I personally don't take communion, because... you know... God cannibalism / human sacrifice. (Even if "symbolic" it's there, and definitely the main theme, even of Christianity, of any persuasion...)

 

It's plain as day, and I really don't get how Christians accuse other religions of having weird beliefs... blink.png

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I'm not sure, but I did partake in communion at the Midnight Mass my aunt goes to every Christmas here in Ohio. I'm not even from a Catholic background (my great-grandmother was) but I liked going with her, and if you ask me I just see it as a tradition. I would even say, and this is just my opinion, it's rude to not take communion when you have pretty much everybody going up there and you're the only one sitting in the pews. I know it's uncomfortable to you, but other than the fact that it's just some bread or maybe a piece of cracker and a bit of wine, or grape juice, and is no big deal. 

 

Like I said, I only see it as a tradition and my aunt appreciates that I tag along with her. I deconverted, but she doesn't know that. My ex-church wasn't big on communion anyway except on one occasion each year and that's Easter. So I wouldn't have participated then, but the only difference between then and now is I don't have any religious covictions stopping me from doing something I see as harmless. But you- you do what you have to do. It might mean wading it out until you feel it is safe coming out to your parents. 

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Well, I appreciate all of your inputs and I think this was an interesting topic to read. At the service, I still felt iffy about taking it and so I brought a Ziploc bag in my purse and when we were asked to eat and drink, I slipped the cup and cracker into my bag. My boyfriend was there and he went ahead and took communion because he feels if it isn't real, then it doesn't matter. I still felt strange about taking it.

 

However, I feel like it was good for me to resist taking it because I was making a stand for myself that I am no longer going to just go along with the crowd, but that I can be different. And even though it wasn't public, I think it was brave and good for me since I am rather timid.

 

Unfortunately, the Ziploc bag was not very good and it got turned over in my purse, resulting in the grape juice soaking through my purse. 

 

But that was okay because I still feel like I did the right thing. And that's all that really matters.

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Well as long as you did what you were most comfortable doing :)

 

And now every time you want to be reminded that you can be an individual that doesn't go along with the crowd you can simply lick your tongue across your (now grape flavoured) ziplock purse sac :P

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I was Rc for years, I was in the hosp and the communion servers came in and I took it and one of the nurses also did. Afterwards I felt I was dishonest to myself, and no I would not take it anymore, for one thing, when I quit believing in transubstantiation and seen if more as the Protestant view, I also could not take part in it.

 

Now when I think of growing up and going up and having it finger fed to me on my tongue it makes me cringe.  I also see how it has been used as a dog bone for the RCC.  Its not like your breaking bread and wine, at the meal you will be breaking bread together.

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Every church I attended (Pentecostal) used 1 Corinthians 11:17-34 as its "base" for communion.

 

In those verses, "Paul" states that a person is to examine themselves before partaking. If one feels they are unworthy to participate, then they should not participate.

 

An unbeliever could very well use that passage to justify to believers that they should not participate at all.

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If I ever step foot in a church where they serve communion, I would not go. Not out of respect, but rather because I don't believe. I don't care about respect, fuck those idiotic Christians, I would just go up and piss in the grape juice and throw the wafers on the floor as far as respecting the stupid Eucharist...

( still a bit in "anger" phase of the deconversion process :P )

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I still take it, but only because I have family members (my kids) and acquaintances at church who don't know, and I wouldn't want to open myself up to questions (where I might have to lie) by not partaking.  My church asks that only the 'sanctified' partake in communion so as not to bring judgment on oneself, but since I think it's all shullbit, I'm not too concerned.

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I don't know much about the inner workings of Roman Catholicism (in that I never really participated in their rituals) but in other faiths there is a modicum of respect expected… especially in Native Canadian/American traditions. Participation is by invite only and there are certain things that you do not do… unless specifically requested… it's disrespectful and could 'contaminate' the ritual. (i.e.: you don't go to the sun dance if you've had alcohol or drugs within a month of it. You don't talk in the sweat lodge or during a dream walk, you don't interfere with an initiation, you don't interrupt an elder or medicine person, etc.) In neo-pagan rituals you don't break the circle once cast, in Druidism you don't touch the mistletoe with your hands… in some tribal people's rituals you'd better drink whatever concoction they hand you (and it's probably a very potent hallucinogen  lol)  I watch those shows where people (like survivor man and such) where they are invited to religious and cultural rituals and they always seem to have some mind-altering substance involved, or at the very least some sort of brain-wave altering thing (chanting, dancing, fasting, exhaustion, drumming) hooked to their rituals. (Think of the Catholic rituals… hymns, incense, chanting, candles, … very trance inducing stuff)

 

In other faiths NOT participating, if you are attending, is disrespectful. (i.e.: not lowering your head during prayer) So I guess it depends on the faith. From what I understand communion is only for those who are members of the church, and have good standing with the church - it is a sacrament, and therefore sacred - it is a sharing of a congregation - you essentially become one with each other through this ritual - the Bride of Christ. I would think that using the confessional would also be prohibited for one not of the faith. However.. this is just my very uneducated thinking about it… not my area of expertise.

 

José knows more about RC than anyone else I've seen here, having insisted on his excommunication from them. (great story… go read it sometime).

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Every church I attended (Pentecostal) used 1 Corinthians 11:17-34 as its "base" for communion.

 

In those verses, "Paul" states that a person is to examine themselves before partaking. If one feels they are unworthy to participate, then they should not participate.

 

An unbeliever could very well use that passage to justify to believers that they should not participate at all.

Sooo…. would it follow that even an RC should not take communion if they haven't been to confession?

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Every church I attended (Pentecostal) used 1 Corinthians 11:17-34 as its "base" for communion.

 

In those verses, "Paul" states that a person is to examine themselves before partaking. If one feels they are unworthy to participate, then they should not participate.

 

An unbeliever could very well use that passage to justify to believers that they should not participate at all.

Sooo…. would it follow that even an RC should not take communion if they haven't been to confession?

 

 

Exactly.

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Thanks…  :D

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Love the way you put it RavenStar

 

Now I do have respect for ritual, etc. etc., but the Christian ones in the west just don't feel that genuine. Often the customs within the churches are just made up by the pastor to massage their egos.

 

When I was in Jerusalem and I went to a reformed synagogue I was highly respectful. Now I did take their communion cake and it was goddam delicious, I won't deny! but they didn't mind, it's more of a social thing for them*

 

 

*: I keep telling myself :P

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I still take it, but only because I have family members (my kids) and acquaintances at church who don't know, and I wouldn't want to open myself up to questions (where I might have to lie) by not partaking. My church asks that only the 'sanctified' partake in communion so as not to bring judgment on oneself, but since I think it's all shullbit, I'm not too concerned.

....They think non-cultists are worried about their judgment warnings?

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Why give it any special consideration at all? It's a silly religious ritual just like many other silly religious rituals Christians perform. If I happen to be in church and communion is going around I'll have it anyway just to blend in with everybody. Otherwise you'll have people wondering why you didn't take it.

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Otherwise you'll have people wondering why you didn't take it.

 

Good! Maybe they’ll ask me! (Might not be ideal for the OP’s situation, though.)

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  • 2 weeks later...

As far as my church went, you were only supposed to take communion if you were saved and baptized. They stated this explicitly, so the obvious implication was that this was an important part of communion.

 

So for that, I'd say that yes, if you know that the tradition of the church doesn't appreciate a non-believer taking communion but you take it anyways, that's disrespectful. However, if you do it to cover up from family or whatever, I'm not judging you.

 

I stopped taking communion (I'm still being dragged to church by my mother) and the first day it was incredibly stressful. I started sobbing after the service and it was intensely awkward. It's been better since, though; personally, it helped reinforce in my mind that I wasn't a believer, and that is helping push me out of Christianity. 

 

I'd say examine your reasons for taking it/not taking it, and take it from there. 

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I think you might consider whether or not communion actually deserves to be respected.  It is simply a symbol of the death of a mythical deity.  What about that merits respect?  Should it be respected simply because some people hold it dear?  Should you continue to respect it now that you no longer hold it dear?

 

Isn't respect something that should be earned? 

 

Do you respect the people who hold this ritual dear?  Have they earned your respect?  Have you earned theirs?

 

With that said, I still consider taking communion to avoid a dust-up with your father to be the best course of action in this particular case.  Until you are in a position to start coming out to people, it's best to fly under the radar as much as possible.  Once you reach the point where you can be honest and open about your disbelief, then you will find out who truly respects you and who doesn't.  This question might look considerably different then.

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