Xianity + Mental Illness = Disaster

[Voice]

First of all...Happy New Year!

 

Then...falemon, you sound a lot like me. And then you are creative too as you play music and do websites and stuff. Maybe its some kind of "artist syndrome"?

 

I wonder.  Art, music and creativity are part of it for me too.  I used to build my life around art but it always led me to depression, so recently (I'm 50) I let it all go and stopped producing art or music.  It's very dull, boring.  Nothing to live for that I'm familiar with, but it beats depression.

[RipVanWinkle]

As I have said before I suffered from depression for many years. Still do, off and on. But I never attributed that to Xtianity. It was clear to me that mine was caused by stress. I still think so. The only negative conditions I attribute to Xtiatniy are guilt and frustration. Guilt, because I never felt I was doing enough for god. Frustration, because, despite my sincerity, I could 

not make contact with god, no matter what.

 

But being here on Exchristian I have learned from you what a terrible effect Xtianity can have on so very many people. I didn't know that before I came here. I simply did not know so many Xtians suffered. I thought I was just somehow different than every other Xtian.  My deconversion was not so much an escape from misery, tho depression is surely the very definition of misery, as a sudden realization that this Xtian bullshit just can't be true! 

 

I wonder if, ironically, it is mostly sincere, dedicated Xtians, who really do bet their very lives on god and the truthfulness of Xtianity, with all their hearts, who suffr more mental anguish and then decovert more than my type of Xtian, who was willing to do what was necessary as a christian, if I could become sure that I was doing the right thing. I wanted to drive my doubts away first, and then I would jump off the cliff, so to speak. But I never could get rid of those doubts, no matter how hard I tried. So maybe I didn't practically go insane because I was not as good a Xtian as those of you who experienced  terrible mental anguish. God's justice. Ironic, isn't it?                bill

[moanareina]

I can't say that mental illness and depression are or are not caused by religion. But. If you are depressed or have mental illness you do not deal with it in the way it would be helpful for you. So I think Christianity might extend and even fuel your suffering. So you grow up not even realizing that there is something wrong or just not the way it should be. Then all of a sudden it is expected of you to change or to "get changed" by God. You get blamed for being miserable...not always directly but clearly it must be your fault for not being right with God or whatever. So you start to pretend...maybe not even conscious. And thats the danger I see. You let years pass before even realizing that you could and maybe even should get proper help. And if you get made believe that psychologists are evil etc. its even harder...

[moanareina]

 

First of all...Happy New Year!

 

Then...falemon, you sound a lot like me. And then you are creative too as you play music and do websites and stuff. Maybe its some kind of "artist syndrome"?

 

I wonder.  Art, music and creativity are part of it for me too.  I used to build my life around art but it always led me to depression, so recently (I'm 50) I let it all go and stopped producing art or music.  It's very dull, boring.  Nothing to live for that I'm familiar with, but it beats depression.

 

 

Hm. Wow. For me its somehow a bit the opposite. When I finally try and start to do creative stuff I feel good and have an outlet for my feelings. Since I graduated from graphic design school I somehow felt an inner blockade even when I just thought about doing art or design. I got very inspired when visiting exhibitions or seeing great work, but when it came down to actually do something it was gone and so I had to let go of it...thinking I basically had chosen the wrong profession due to a lack of knowledge of myself. Now at the moment I am recovering somehow and get more interested in doing creative stuff again. But also I noticed that the past year my emotions where more intense, negative and positive. I can't say creative work leads me to depression but in order to be creative and do work that is inspirational it is required to be deeply connected with your inner self. And for me, yes that can be very depressing...because all those feelings come up surface that I usually am in control. Just some thoughts.

[falemon]

@moanarina

 

Yeah that's so true, I always felt like the constant messages that faith will heal everything and that speaking negative is giving the devil permission to take away your healing inadvertently muted the voices of people who had problems that were not healed.

 

I usually find solace in drawing people I know personally as the drawing drives my affection and my affection drives my drawing

 

 

I wonder.  Art, music and creativity are part of it for me too.  I used to build my life around art but it always led me to depression, so recently (I'm 50) I let it all go and stopped producing art or music.  It's very dull, boring.  Nothing to live for that I'm familiar with, but it beats depression.

I can't begin to imagine going in such a direction. If I had to do without creative outlets I'd implode into a black hole! But then again for you it leads to depression so that's different, but I'm curious as to what outlets you had for the mania?

 

 

Positivist.....This is soooooooooo a 5 star post!!!! *****

 

This thread is absolutely amazing!! The honesty is just blowing my mind. I relate to all of it!! All of it!! All of it!! I have never been diagnosed with anything...but I have every 'disorder' in this thread!!!!!!!

 

Edit..I have no idea why this post came up like this with all the spaces????

 

Same here, I mean I could relate to mania and I had considered it but there's just so many things going on with me (such as a sleep disorder and such) that I just ignored it, but once I saw people's experiences it just sounded far too familiar!

 

I remember not long before I deconverted I "heard" the voice of God, but thankfully I had developed incredibly strong introspection to the point that I can see the shape and form of my thoughts, so I knew instinctively/immediately that it was a voice from my subconscious. Still it's scary to think that many others will hear that voice and judging by what they say, they believe it.

 

What was it saying? "She (well it gave the name) is the one" (which I think was said after a preacher told me that I would start a relationship with the girl I am interested in). I've had two prior messages just like that, one said, "let go" and the other showed me a surreal scene of a distant planet with a higher intelligence which I could feel for a split second before thrusting me away at light speed back to Earth right before waking.

 

Now that "voice of God" is coming from your subconscious, which (in my understanding) is much more aware of reality than your conscious mind is. It makes much more accurate assessments of situations than you are able to consciously make and tends to communicate with your conscious mind in small thoughts, awareness, bursts of inspiration, visions, voices or even emotions in order to get you to acknowledge what it thinks you should do. Christianity, in my opinion, develops the strength of the voice, and it is known (at least in the theory of design and inspiration) that each time you listen to a part of your subconscious you strengthen it and make it more active. So christianity must have strengthen and even awaken delusions, etc.

[Pantophobia]

Wow, Positivist, that hit the nail directly on the head. Or through the palms and feet. 

 

 It was the most horrific experience of my life, because I was losing my mind and I knew it.  I was consciously aware that my mind, my best friend and ally, was steadily slipping away from me.

 

 

This was me, too, RedneckProf. It's terrifying, when you can feel your mind is slipping out of your control, like your sanity is being torn out of your reach repeatedly, and you're trying to catch hold of it and hang on for dear life, like reaching for a leaf in a churning river. 

 

I'm also beginning to think that, much like the scale of homo- to heterosexual, everyone falls in some gray scale of "bi-polar" at times. I can relate to the feelings, but I identify primarily with having severe anxiety and depression. Most of the members of my family did and do, but I saw three generations of Christians do the whole "just let go and let God!" non-fixes. So I thought what I was experiencing was proof that something was really bad about me, and God was punishing me extra hard. I would try to explain the feelings of fear, doom and helplessness that I had at age 7, 9, 12, and my well-meaning Christian relatives would tell me to remember "Fear thou not, for I am with thee!" Okay, but that wasn't helping when a group of kids were following me home from school on a daily basis and doing everything but out-and-out physical assault. Or when my stepfather was coming into my room at night and doing things to me that I somehow knew weren't right. I remember when I was confirmed (age 14), and I had to give a speech to the congregation. My pastor told me to write about a time when I really felt God's presence in my life, helping me or comforting me. I couldn't think of a single thing. NOTHING. There was not a single time that I truly felt God loved me, or was comforting me. Cue the guilt, because I knew I was SUPPOSED to feel those things, and didn't. So yeah, I'm extra bad. Pastor finally coached me to write about God's comfort when my grandfather died, but I knew I was bullshitting. 

 

So cue the cycle though to my mid-20s of guilt, fear, shame. Or the very real human emotions of anxiety and depression. I watched my grandmother and mother struggle with this, hide tears, and declare "Put on a happy face!" I was told about children who had it so much worse than I did. Pretty much all of my experiences and feelings about them were constantly invalidated by Christianity's rhetoric.

 

My complete mental breakdown at age 24 was when I began to leave Christianity, and rationalized that God wasn't the problem, people/organized religion was. I continued to believe in God/Jesus/Something, but the "leaving" process continued until last year, when I finally shut off the last of the rhetoric and declared myself agnostic. Now, I'm even comfortable saying I'm an atheist. And you know what? I haven't been "tested" or "punished" at all. I can even write that with only the teeniest bit of fear way, way down. Considering that I couldn't even let myself THINK things like "what if there is no God?" without panic attacks about hell and damnation for decades, this is a huge improvement on my quality of life. And sanity.  

 

Organized religion ticks all the boxes for unhealthy mental states, and I'm increasingly furious at seeing how many easily fixed conditions are made a million times worse by this bullshit rhetoric. 

[moanareina]

I just wonder...it somehow seems to me that Christianity (mainly the emotional spiritual style) is actually fostering and supporting mental illness because it is a sign of being spiritual when having "visions" and "dreams" and "prophecies"...when you can "see" angels or demons etc. I mean, outside of that setting it is considered hallucinations and schizophrenia and everyone is thankful who does not have it...now in pentecostal and other churches it is considered spiritual...a goal everyone strives for. Like to chose insanity and training yourself in it.

[Voice]

I'd said I used to structure my life around art, that was the manic outlet, with elements of productivity, catharsis, lifestyle, goals and routine.  I tried to find ways to make money at it, but my manic-driven art projects and goals were rarely cohesive with market realities such as laws of demand and getting places on charisma and social status, big depression followed.  I have all the passion, only half of the tools.  Accepting this reality has helped me focus on important things like how actually to make an income (still haven't quite got that one yet).

You're both right, having the creative outlet is helpful (we can argue necessary) to channel manic energy.  Where do you draw the line between constructive productivity and the natural high that keeps you up for three says straight standing bent over your desk and trashing rooms?  I've been writing charts which are creative, accurate, insightful, to keep track of med schedules and sleep patterns among many other things.  Creative thoughts underlie my days, but I don't fly off on anything now thinking it's worth some kind of income when in fact it's not, at least not for a year or so which is about when I came to this place.  As to how to productively channel mania through creativity, I don't have a clue really; it's part of the puzzle.  

[xliar]

I just wonder...it somehow seems to me that Christianity (mainly the emotional spiritual style) is actually fostering and supporting mental illness because it is a sign of being spiritual when having "visions" and "dreams" and "prophecies"...when you can "see" angels or demons etc. I mean, outside of that setting it is considered hallucinations and schizophrenia and everyone is thankful who does not have it...now in pentecostal and other churches it is considered spiritual...a goal everyone strives for. Like to chose insanity and training yourself in it.

and it also seems like "it" [christianity] gets its feelings hurt when asked to, at the very least, play by the rules, you know church/state/separation and all.

[amateur]

I can't say that mental illness and depression are or are not caused by religion. But. If you are depressed or have mental illness you do not deal with it in the way it would be helpful for you. So I think Christianity might extend and even fuel your suffering. So you grow up not even realizing that there is something wrong or just not the way it should be. Then all of a sudden it is expected of you to change or to "get changed" by God. You get blamed for being miserable...not always directly but clearly it must be your fault for not being right with God or whatever. So you start to pretend...maybe not even conscious. And thats the danger I see. You let years pass before even realizing that you could and maybe even should get proper help. And if you get made believe that psychologists are evil etc. its even harder...

 

 

I just wonder...it somehow seems to me that Christianity (mainly the emotional spiritual style) is actually fostering and supporting mental illness because it is a sign of being spiritual when having "visions" and "dreams" and "prophecies"...when you can "see" angels or demons etc. I mean, outside of that setting it is considered hallucinations and schizophrenia and everyone is thankful who does not have it...now in pentecostal and other churches it is considered spiritual...a goal everyone strives for. Like to chose insanity and training yourself in it.

and it also seems like "it" [christianity] gets its feelings hurt when asked to, at the very least, play by the rules, you know church/state/separation and all.

 

I completely agree with this ^^^.  The church wants to blame you for what you're going through (depression, whatever) because you're not believing correctly, or you don't have enough faith, or you are questioning, or you are not tithing, or you have hidden sin, etc.

 

I truly, truly, truly believe that the church won't acknowledge mental illness because that would eliminate their "demons" that they are so fond of.  Jesus did not take demons out of people and send them into pigs (or whatever).  People had mental illness, and they did not understand that back then, and obviously Jesus did not understand that (or rather, the people who invented Jesus and wrote the stories did not understand that).  Now that we do understand this, it is completely immoral and unethical of the church to recommend prayer or a deeper relationship with god rather than to support someone to see a qualified doctor to get help.  In most mainstream religions, people with physical ailments are expected to go to the doctor or the hospital and to take medications and treatments to get well, THEN people pray for them.  But with mental ailments, it is the opposite in churches.  "Pray, have more faith" they say, and look suspect at someone who does get medical treatment for mental issues.  I just really believe that this is because then xians would have to acknowledge mental illness and not be able to blame demons and satan for attacking people, or straight out attacking people for not having enough faith.

[wanderinstar]

^^SO true ^^

 

I must have had near a thousand demons cast out of me to 'cure' the PTSD and Bipolar but it never worked (outside the occasional placebo effect). The blame was always subtly put back on me as it could not be gods fault I was still unwell. This is crazy making stuff and certainly was the major contributer to my breakdown. I am still so angry I let myself be put through this and that so many others have suffered also. 

[moanareina]

Yes...oh.

 

When I had people praying deliverance from demons and integration of multiple personalities for me, there was a significant change in my life. This very deep insecurity that accompanied all my life was gone and also those voices in my head when washing my dishes or doing laundry where gone too...my mind was remarkably quiet and I felt calm and peaceful inside. That made it hard to not believe in that stuff anymore but. It then was even more blaming myself for not feeling well because some of the emotional baggage that left came back slowly. Not all. But it was like: What did I do to allow this to get me again? I got really concerned that I allowed the demons to come back and did more spiritual warfare to protect myself as they told me to do...because of course...the demons wanted to come back and if I had allowed it, they would bring seven times their number with them. I sometimes wonder that I kept my sanity. Well, maybe that actually helped me to see though it all. Like once I felt so weird at a conference and I prayed and told the demons to leave and did all that came to mind and nothing happened. Another time I attended a friends concert and I suddenly felt the same weirdness of being lonely and lost amongst tons of people and even friends. So I just was like: OK, if I feel that way, I am going to stand in a corner all alone and just let myself feel that way. It took about ten minutes and it was over and it was a really nice evening with me interacting with others and having fun. Made me wonder about demons and stuff...That was at the beginning of my leaving it all behind.

[GraphicsGuy]

I've never been diagnosed, but I had pretty severe bi-polar behaviours while caught up in religion (33 years of my 39 year existence). Most of my behaviours have evaporated since leaving religion. I am still quite prone to depression, but I can usually shake it off pretty quickly now.

 

I firmly believe that religion is outright dangerous for anyone with a pre-existing mental condition.

[Guest Pixie]

I am reading this and remembering a long time ago when a few of my girlfriends from the church decided to start a support group for woman in the congregation who were struggling with their emotions. It grew very quickly. And then the men started their own. It also grew very fast. Then we had to change to a bigger rooms. It seemed as if the whole church was depressed. It's only been the last few years that I started to question this. I was much the same as many people on EX-C, always wondering where this loving God was. Couldn't he at least bring relief of negative emotions to His own people.

 

This is a good subject.

[xliar]

 

I can't say that mental illness and depression are or are not caused by religion. But. If you are depressed or have mental illness you do not deal with it in the way it would be helpful for you. So I think Christianity might extend and even fuel your suffering. So you grow up not even realizing that there is something wrong or just not the way it should be. Then all of a sudden it is expected of you to change or to "get changed" by God. You get blamed for being miserable...not always directly but clearly it must be your fault for not being right with God or whatever. So you start to pretend...maybe not even conscious. And thats the danger I see. You let years pass before even realizing that you could and maybe even should get proper help. And if you get made believe that psychologists are evil etc. its even harder...

 

 

I just wonder...it somehow seems to me that Christianity (mainly the emotional spiritual style) is actually fostering and supporting mental illness because it is a sign of being spiritual when having "visions" and "dreams" and "prophecies"...when you can "see" angels or demons etc. I mean, outside of that setting it is considered hallucinations and schizophrenia and everyone is thankful who does not have it...now in pentecostal and other churches it is considered spiritual...a goal everyone strives for. Like to chose insanity and training yourself in it.

and it also seems like "it" [christianity] gets its feelings hurt when asked to, at the very least, play by the rules, you know church/state/separation and all.

 

I completely agree with this ^^^.  The church wants to blame you for what you're going through (depression, whatever) because you're not believing correctly, or you don't have enough faith, or you are questioning, or you are not tithing, or you have hidden sin, etc.

 

I truly, truly, truly believe that the church won't acknowledge mental illness because that would eliminate their "demons" that they are so fond of.  Jesus did not take demons out of people and send them into pigs (or whatever).  People had mental illness, and they did not understand that back then, and obviously Jesus did not understand that (or rather, the people who invented Jesus and wrote the stories did not understand that).  Now that we do understand this, it is completely immoral and unethical of the church to recommend prayer or a deeper relationship with god rather than to support someone to see a qualified doctor to get help.  In most mainstream religions, people with physical ailments are expected to go to the doctor or the hospital and to take medications and treatments to get well, THEN people pray for them.  But with mental ailments, it is the opposite in churches.  "Pray, have more faith" they say, and look suspect at someone who does get medical treatment for mental issues.  I just really believe that this is because then xians would have to acknowledge mental illness and not be able to blame demons and satan for attacking people, or straight out attacking people for not having enough faith.

 

 

 

I can't say that mental illness and depression are or are not caused by religion. But. If you are depressed or have mental illness you do not deal with it in the way it would be helpful for you. So I think Christianity might extend and even fuel your suffering. So you grow up not even realizing that there is something wrong or just not the way it should be. Then all of a sudden it is expected of you to change or to "get changed" by God. You get blamed for being miserable...not always directly but clearly it must be your fault for not being right with God or whatever. So you start to pretend...maybe not even conscious. And thats the danger I see. You let years pass before even realizing that you could and maybe even should get proper help. And if you get made believe that psychologists are evil etc. its even harder...

 

 

I just wonder...it somehow seems to me that Christianity (mainly the emotional spiritual style) is actually fostering and supporting mental illness because it is a sign of being spiritual when having "visions" and "dreams" and "prophecies"...when you can "see" angels or demons etc. I mean, outside of that setting it is considered hallucinations and schizophrenia and everyone is thankful who does not have it...now in pentecostal and other churches it is considered spiritual...a goal everyone strives for. Like to chose insanity and training yourself in it.

and it also seems like "it" [christianity] gets its feelings hurt when asked to, at the very least, play by the rules, you know church/state/separation and all.

 

I completely agree with this ^^^.  The church wants to blame you for what you're going through (depression, whatever) because you're not believing correctly, or you don't have enough faith, or you are questioning, or you are not tithing, or you have hidden sin, etc.

 

I truly, truly, truly believe that the church won't acknowledge mental illness because that would eliminate their "demons" that they are so fond of.  Jesus did not take demons out of people and send them into pigs (or whatever).  People had mental illness, and they did not understand that back then, and obviously Jesus did not understand that (or rather, the people who invented Jesus and wrote the stories did not understand that).  Now that we do understand this, it is completely immoral and unethical of the church to recommend prayer or a deeper relationship with god rather than to support someone to see a qualified doctor to get help.  In most mainstream religions, people with physical ailments are expected to go to the doctor or the hospital and to take medications and treatments to get well, THEN people pray for them.  But with mental ailments, it is the opposite in churches.  "Pray, have more faith" they say, and look suspect at someone who does get medical treatment for mental issues.  I just really believe that this is because then xians would have to acknowledge mental illness and not be able to blame demons and satan for attacking people, or straight out attacking people for not having enough faith.

 

I was brought up thinking it was ok to shun or detach from anyone who showed symtoms of any mental problems. It was like we disregarded the illness status. Alienate, unfriend, pretty much any kind of behavior was exceptable concerning their feelings, after all their feelings were not normal. I regret a lot of my past attitudes and all the crap I just went along with. If I could go back the first thing I would change is my lack of compassion. I hate to hear it when someone pats this society on the back anouncing"well we've come a long way"! Electronics maybe,, wireless shit maybe,,,but man we suck when it comes to mental illness expertise. Makes you want to go up to the ones leading the charge in this area and say What The Fuck man, while you place your hands on them. My heart goes out to you guys and I'd love nothing more than to see you get what you need. Please be strong.

[Voice]

We need an ex-c mental health provider on this site.

[moanareina]

I was brought up thinking it was ok to shun or detach from anyone who showed symtoms of any mental problems. It was like we disregarded the illness status. Alienate, unfriend, pretty much any kind of behavior was exceptable concerning their feelings, after all their feelings were not normal. I regret a lot of my past attitudes and all the crap I just went along with. If I could go back the first thing I would change is my lack of compassion. I hate to hear it when someone pats this society on the back anouncing"well we've come a long way"! Electronics maybe,, wireless shit maybe,,,but man we suck when it comes to mental illness expertise. Makes you want to go up to the ones leading the charge in this area and say What The Fuck man, while you place your hands on them. My heart goes out to you guys and I'd love nothing more than to see you get what you need. Please be strong.

 

 

 

Sometimes when I think about those times and the mental ill people that I met during that time and the way they where treated by others and even by me...I mean in the time when I was into all that deliverance crap I tried to convince them to get prayer and all...I feel deeply sorry and ashamed. Also sorry about how I thought about those people. Then when I think about it...it is not that I thought about them that way, it is how I thought about myself. It was a trap and I was in it and did not see it. So yes, I feel sorry for it. But also I see why I did it and that helps me accept that I did so. Still sometimes that feeling of shame and guilt comes over me. Maybe to remind me that I am only human and humans do and say lots of bullshit...

[RedStar]

Xianity definitely made my OCD worse, for the whole 7 years I was a xian I was constantly repenting to god in my head for anything I did or thought about that was wrong according to xianity (which is pretty much EVERYTHING!!!) so it was very loud and busy in my mind all the time. A lot of religious people with OCD get a lot of blasphemous thoughts, I had that too. Intrusive violent thoughts are part of it too which we're worse when I was a xian.

 

When I deconverted and realised I didn't have to apologise for everything all the time I couldn't believe how quiet my mind was, I felt much better and I could actually think. Even better, I could think whatever I wanted and I didn't have to be sorry for it. I agree with everyone else in this thread, xianity makes mental illness worse and so does the terrible advice given by many ignorant religious people.

[traveller2]

Xianity definitely made my OCD worse, for the whole 7 years I was a xian I was constantly repenting to god in my head for anything I did or thought about that was wrong according to xianity (which is pretty much EVERYTHING!!!) so it was very loud and busy in my mind all the time. A lot of religious people with OCD get a lot of blasphemous thoughts, I had that too. Intrusive violent thoughts are part of it too which we're worse when I was a xian.

 

When I deconverted and realised I didn't have to apologise for everything all the time I couldn't believe how quiet my mind was, I felt much better and I could actually think. Even better, I could think whatever I wanted and I didn't have to be sorry for it. I agree with everyone else in this thread, xianity makes mental illness worse and so does the terrible advice given by many ignorant religious people.

 

good post and helpful.i too had alot of prayer based OCD and little verbal mantras i had to repeat and also blasphemous thoughts circle in which I would repent for and then they would start again.Now deconverted it has been years since any of this happened.

[nico]

Xianity definitely made my OCD worse, for the whole 7 years I was a xian I was constantly repenting to god in my head for anything I did or thought about that was wrong according to xianity (which is pretty much EVERYTHING!!!) so it was very loud and busy in my mind all the time. A lot of religious people with OCD get a lot of blasphemous thoughts, I had that too. Intrusive violent thoughts are part of it too which we're worse when I was a xian.

 

When I deconverted and realised I didn't have to apologise for everything all the time I couldn't believe how quiet my mind was, I felt much better and I could actually think. Even better, I could think whatever I wanted and I didn't have to be sorry for it. I agree with everyone else in this thread, xianity makes mental illness worse and so does the terrible advice given by many ignorant religious people.

 

I have gone through this as well. Im not sure that I have OCD, but some undiagnosed anxiety disorder. It has gotten really bad during the latest years and I will have it checked out soon. The most bothersome thing for me is the "being tricked by the devil" thought. I can fully accept ideas about christianity being totally wrong. But then the thought of "well this just makes sense because you are being fooled by the devil" pops into my head. It is so hard to rid yourself of that thought. Had it when I was a christian alot, and still 6 years after deconverting I have spells of obsessesing about it ...

[traveller2]

 

Xianity definitely made my OCD worse, for the whole 7 years I was a xian I was constantly repenting to god in my head for anything I did or thought about that was wrong according to xianity (which is pretty much EVERYTHING!!!) so it was very loud and busy in my mind all the time. A lot of religious people with OCD get a lot of blasphemous thoughts, I had that too. Intrusive violent thoughts are part of it too which we're worse when I was a xian.

 

When I deconverted and realised I didn't have to apologise for everything all the time I couldn't believe how quiet my mind was, I felt much better and I could actually think. Even better, I could think whatever I wanted and I didn't have to be sorry for it. I agree with everyone else in this thread, xianity makes mental illness worse and so does the terrible advice given by many ignorant religious people.

 

I have gone through this as well. Im not sure that I have OCD, but some undiagnosed anxiety disorder. It has gotten really bad during the latest years and I will have it checked out soon. The most bothersome thing for me is the "being tricked by the devil" thought. I can fully accept ideas about christianity being totally wrong. But then the thought of "well this just makes sense because you are being fooled by the devil" pops into my head. It is so hard to rid yourself of that thought. Had it when I was a christian alot, and still 6 years after deconverting I have spells of obsessesing about it ...

 

 

 

That may fade with a bit more time;the stuff about being fooled by the devil.mine lasted until about two years ago and on occassion pops into my mind but its like about once every few months now.

I found being diagnosed with an anxiety disorder very helpful.I am not sure why exactly but i used an med called buspar which allowed me to live for the first time daily without anxiety.This opened my eyes to see how many people live all the time.Its a short term med and really useful.After diagnosis you can read alot and maybe get some therapy for anxiety.I had some councelling but what has really helped me is hypnotherapy and EFT tho they are quite expensive on my income.

[Blood]

As far as Christianity making depression worse, not better, I always think of Andrea Yates, the woman who drowned her five children because Satan told her to. 

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Andrea_Yates

[Positivist]

Sometimes when I think about those times and the mental ill people that I met during that time and the way they where treated by others and even by me...I mean in the time when I was into all that deliverance crap I tried to convince them to get prayer and all...

Me too. I thought the root of everyone's problems (including my problems) was spiritual.

I feel badly for how I prayed and prayed and interceded, thinking it would actually help.

With religion, I have only seen the crazy become crazier (myself included! ).

[nico]

 

 

Xianity definitely made my OCD worse, for the whole 7 years I was a xian I was constantly repenting to god in my head for anything I did or thought about that was wrong according to xianity (which is pretty much EVERYTHING!!!) so it was very loud and busy in my mind all the time. A lot of religious people with OCD get a lot of blasphemous thoughts, I had that too. Intrusive violent thoughts are part of it too which we're worse when I was a xian.

 

When I deconverted and realised I didn't have to apologise for everything all the time I couldn't believe how quiet my mind was, I felt much better and I could actually think. Even better, I could think whatever I wanted and I didn't have to be sorry for it. I agree with everyone else in this thread, xianity makes mental illness worse and so does the terrible advice given by many ignorant religious people.

 

I have gone through this as well. Im not sure that I have OCD, but some undiagnosed anxiety disorder. It has gotten really bad during the latest years and I will have it checked out soon. The most bothersome thing for me is the "being tricked by the devil" thought. I can fully accept ideas about christianity being totally wrong. But then the thought of "well this just makes sense because you are being fooled by the devil" pops into my head. It is so hard to rid yourself of that thought. Had it when I was a christian alot, and still 6 years after deconverting I have spells of obsessesing about it ...

 

 

 

That may fade with a bit more time;the stuff about being fooled by the devil.mine lasted until about two years ago and on occassion pops into my mind but its like about once every few months now.

I found being diagnosed with an anxiety disorder very helpful.I am not sure why exactly but i used an med called buspar which allowed me to live for the first time daily without anxiety.This opened my eyes to see how many people live all the time.Its a short term med and really useful.After diagnosis you can read alot and maybe get some therapy for anxiety.I had some councelling but what has really helped me is hypnotherapy and EFT tho they are quite expensive on my income.

 

 

I am sure it will, and it already has. My anxiety is very often based on nagging worries about completely irrational things (not only religious anxieties). Realizing this is quite comforting and makes me understand that worrying about some devil character is yet another irrational thing!

 

It also dawns on you what a powerful tool the "tricked by the devil" card is when it comes to enslaving mentally unstable people to your religion. But when you think about it with a clear and rational mind, you realize that it is just a scam and that believing in the devil is (if possible) even more ridiculous than believing in the God of the bible.

[RipVanWinkle]

"It also dawns on you what a powerful tool the "tricked by the devil" card is when it comes to enslaving mentally unstable people to your religion. But when you think about it with a clear and rational mind, you realize that it is just a scam and that believing in the devil is (if possible) even more ridiculous than believing in the God of the bible".   rico

 

 

Since I discarded Xtianiy I have noticed how utterly superstitious most people are. They are superstitious not only about religion but about anything they believe which can't be proved. It seems that the more unprovable it is, the stronger is their belief. Politics is the obvious prominent example. But I think it goes far beyond politics and religion. Health issues, flying saucers, ghosts, etc. Indeed, I wonder if we humans are not wired to be superstitious about things that we don't understand just because we don't understand.

It makes me realized that it would be wise for each of us to reflect from time to time about what we may unknowingly consider to be true just because we do becase we clearly are not immune.    bill