Super Moderator TheRedneckProfessor Posted January 15, 2014 Super Moderator Share Posted January 15, 2014 "It also dawns on you what a powerful tool the "tricked by the devil" card is when it comes to enslaving mentally unstable people to your religion. But when you think about it with a clear and rational mind, you realize that it is just a scam and that believing in the devil is (if possible) even more ridiculous than believing in the God of the bible". rico Since I discarded Xtianiy I have noticed how utterly superstitious most people are. They are superstitious not only about religion but about anything they believe which can't be proved. It seems that the more unprovable it is, the stronger is their belief. Politics is the obvious prominent example. But I think it goes far beyond politics and religion. Health issues, flying saucers, ghosts, etc. Indeed, I wonder if we humans are not wired to be superstitious about things that we don't understand just because we don't understand. It makes me realized that it would be wise for each of us to reflect from time to time about what we may unknowingly consider to be true just because we do becase we clearly are not immune. bill I believe what you said here, but I can't really prove why it's true; so just to be safe, I'm going to throw a pinch of salt over my shoulder. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ApostateAwoken Posted January 16, 2014 Share Posted January 16, 2014 I suffered emotional abuse, neglected, molested, etc. as a kid, witnessed physical abuse, grew up in a broken household, etc. All the while from the moment I was born I had accepted Christianity. We're talking at the age of 2. I have been diagnosed with panic disorder, various other anxieties, OCD, and non-specified depression. My OCD ("What if nothing's real?") got so bad in summer of 2013 I was admitted to a hospital. I still live in a Christian household now. We're talking Fundamental Southern Baptist, mind you. I can't even tell my dad because I think he would legitimately beat me; at least, he would reduce me to a sobbing mess on the ground while he yelled. So I've been trying to cope with OCD (I have a Christian counselor, too, damnit, but fortunately it's not religious counseling), panic disorder, my grades in school, my relationship at home, handling a relationship, growing up and handling responsibility, breaking away from my faith, AND keeping it all together so that people only see a smiling intelligent girl, not one that was called "crybaby" anytime she showed emotion, is on 200 mg of Zoloft, and is daily trying to get over a crippling fear of all. I have absolutely no doubt in my mind that Christianity played and plays a huge role in my mental illness. When I'm not "shackled by a heavy burden" (how ironic) I am truly and legitimately happy. Then I remember that Sky Daddy is going to send me to burn in eternity all because I don't believe. Funny enough, my first severe panic attack (at age 8, for Christ's sake) was triggered by OCD over, you guessed it, fear of Hell. I can only hope I'm not beyond repair. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wanderinstar Posted January 16, 2014 Share Posted January 16, 2014 I suffered emotional abuse, neglected, molested, etc. as a kid, witnessed physical abuse, grew up in a broken household, etc. All the while from the moment I was born I had accepted Christianity. We're talking at the age of 2. I have been diagnosed with panic disorder, various other anxieties, OCD, and non-specified depression. My OCD ("What if nothing's real?") got so bad in summer of 2013 I was admitted to a hospital. I still live in a Christian household now. We're talking Fundamental Southern Baptist, mind you. I can't even tell my dad because I think he would legitimately beat me; at least, he would reduce me to a sobbing mess on the ground while he yelled. So I've been trying to cope with OCD (I have a Christian counselor, too, damnit, but fortunately it's not religious counseling), panic disorder, my grades in school, my relationship at home, handling a relationship, growing up and handling responsibility, breaking away from my faith, AND keeping it all together so that people only see a smiling intelligent girl, not one that was called "crybaby" anytime she showed emotion, is on 200 mg of Zoloft, and is daily trying to get over a crippling fear of all. I have absolutely no doubt in my mind that Christianity played and plays a huge role in my mental illness. When I'm not "shackled by a heavy burden" (how ironic) I am truly and legitimately happy. Then I remember that Sky Daddy is going to send me to burn in eternity all because I don't believe. Funny enough, my first severe panic attack (at age 8, for Christ's sake) was triggered by OCD over, you guessed it, fear of Hell. I can only hope I'm not beyond repair. So sorry to hear you have had such a rough time. How old are you? Do you still have to live with your parents? I hope your counselor is understanding regarding your deconversion and the effects of the religious abuse. I am glad you are here with us. Keep posting when you need to, we are here for you. You are not beyond repair. With the right professional help you have a good chance of recovery. I had severe Post Traumatic Stress Disorder from years of abuse as a child and spiritual abuse as an adult (amongst other things). Deconverting along with the right therapy and medication for the last several years is finally allowing me to rebuild my life. I am still wounded but I can at least start making plans for my future and enjoy being alive. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xliar Posted January 16, 2014 Share Posted January 16, 2014 You've come this far A A and I'm betting it aint because of dumb luck. You're smart as hell despite all the mental detours you've been on. One at a time I think you'll see the moves you need to make. I don't get a real trusting feeling about your Dad. Just keep him as entertained in the spiritual world as possible. Most battles like that are best not even fought. Your hope for repair is all you need, good stuff is waiting on you,,,be strong Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pantophobia Posted January 16, 2014 Share Posted January 16, 2014 AA, you are not beyond repair, first of all because you are not "broken" or "flawed." Second, because I was there, too. It's going to be hard, and sometimes it's going to seem like you can't hang on or get out of this hole, but you just grit your teeth and keep going. Eventually, you get out of the abusive household. You realize that neglect, abuse, and violence are unacceptable and don't tolerate it. You surround yourself with support and happy things, you ask "What person do I want to be?" and find ways to be that. And then, someday in the not-too-distant future, you see the pedophile who made your childhood a living hell, and you look him in the eye and know that he didn't destroy you in the end, or take your sexuality away from you, and that you are stronger, fuller, and better than he is. It's an added bonus if you are able to confront him (not everyone can or will) and know that YOU are in the position of complete power over this sick, cowardly, abusive excuse for a human being. Now he is the one sobbing and crying. Now he is afraid of you, and will be for the rest of his miserable life, because you hold all the power over him now; the only way he can feel powerful is by abusing little kids. And you do not have to "be a good Christian" and forgive anyone, either. And I won't lie to you about this: who and what you are, what you do re: grades, relationships, school, etc., when you are in your teens is important. But it is not irrevocable. It is not the be-all and end-all. Some of us are late bloomers. Some of us have priorities that change. By the time you're 24, you will be able to look back on this foundation and see where you need to make adjustments, or where your time spent on ____ revealed that, actually ___ is more important to you. Wanting to accomplish things is good and all, but you can't do EVERYTHING by the time you're 18. Ease up on that pressure a little bit. What really sucks ass is that, too often, the people who are supposed to love us, nurture us to healthy adulthood, and protect us fail so completely. In fact, that's a huge part of what adolescence is: realizing that all of your strong, superhero figures are actually flawed, and you can't keep putting faith in them without it hurting and damaging you. It's time to grow up and start putting your faith in yourself and your abilities, even when you're scared, even when you fail at something, even when others are telling you that you aren't valuable. They're wrong. Depression lies. (If you get a chance, look up Wil Wheaton's stuff on this.) That's why it exists: to trip you up. PM me if you need to. As my therapist would say, you're doing the very best you can with the tools you've been given. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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