Popular Post Storm Posted January 3, 2014 Popular Post Share Posted January 3, 2014 So I have been in the deconversion process for a few months now and I am still deprogramming. It will be a long journey to be where I hope to be someday. But along this journey, I have really begun to evaluate things that I used to be such a staunch believer in. One of those areas is homosexuality. I never have been an outspoken person in regards to this topic, but I, like most Christians, truly believed it to be a sin and that people could be "cured" from its grasp on their lives. I have since realized that this is not the truth. While there is a lot I don't understand about homosexuality and why it happens and all that. There is one thing that I need to say. I am sorry. I apologize that I was uninformed and ignorant and chose to make judgments upon you based on faulty information and a lack of study by myself to better understand who you are. I also want to apologize because I still do not understand it and I may never. But, I have accepted that each and every one who lives a different sexual lifestyle is just as relevant to our society and is just as important and has just as much value as anyone else. I used to not feel that way, but now I have realized this was faulty thinking and was degrading. I also want to apologize because I am still afraid of what I do not know and understand. I still react accordingly and I try to save face by becoming defensive or just shunning some of you. But I do so in ignorance and fear. Because I am human. I have a couple of friends who are lesbians, and I enjoy their friendships. I have no issues with them as people. I struggle with some of the issues their sexuality presents in my life and how it might affect my daughters life. But I am trying to learn. I am trying to understand. I think I am writing this as much for myself as for anyone who might read this. I am trying to be open and honest and to be real. Its hard. But I am making the effort. I hope this helps. Sincerely, a frail human trying to make this place a better one: Storm 10 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vigile Posted January 3, 2014 Share Posted January 3, 2014 I think I speak for most of us here when I say we have a great deal of respect for a person who can reevaluate their positions and thoughtfully and carefully adjust them. I must have missed the threads where you discussed this issue but I find your reassessment of your position refreshing. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator Margee Posted January 3, 2014 Moderator Share Posted January 3, 2014 I think you have just made the world a better place. Thank you for this. You probably weren't born judgmental, you were brainwashed to be judgmental. That is the saddest part. My son is gay and It has been a terrible journey for him and me as his mom. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for your sincerity. You have just helped all the kids in the future. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Storm Posted January 3, 2014 Author Share Posted January 3, 2014 I think I speak for most of us here when I say we have a great deal of respect for a person who can reevaluate their positions and thoughtfully and carefully adjust them. I must have missed the threads where you discussed this issue but I find your reassessment of your position refreshing. Thanks for your kind words. I don't believe I have ever made any such comments on ex-c, but just had thoughts and conversations in general life. Just realizing that I screwed up and needed a safe place to just express how I felt. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pantophobia Posted January 3, 2014 Share Posted January 3, 2014 Thank you for posting this, and please, continue to question and learn. The harm that I've seen done to people from one "well-meaning" Christian's beliefs about homosexuality is deep, profound, and long-lasting. It would also be wonderful if you could continue to speak out about your re-evaluations; the more people that challenge the hateful belief that condemning gays is somehow "Christian love" is outright evil. You also might want to check out the No H8 campaign, "It Gets Better," and your local branch of PFLAG. Knowledge and compassion trumps ignorance every time. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RipVanWinkle Posted January 3, 2014 Share Posted January 3, 2014 A person who change change life long opinions for the better is a very special person, It Xtians could just answer a question to themselves, to wit: Does my opinion and behavior hurt another person if I could alter them without harm to anyone? If the answer is "yes" I should change them. Very simple. That is a question which will tell you whether you are in a cult or not. bill 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
midniterider Posted January 4, 2014 Share Posted January 4, 2014 It seems that as the open acceptance of homosexuality continues, we will find more people coming out of the closet. There will be some surprises in our lives. :-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RipVanWinkle Posted January 4, 2014 Share Posted January 4, 2014 My above post #6 was very poorly worded. So I want to restate it: If Xtians would just answer one question they would pose to themselves, to wit: "If my opinion and behavior hurt another person and I could alter them without causing any real harm to anyone, should I change my belief and behavior so as to avoid that harm?" If the answer is, "yes, I should change them" you are using your logical brain capacity. If not, you are in a cult or might as well be. Sorry for the vagueness of my previous post. bill 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blood Posted January 4, 2014 Share Posted January 4, 2014 It's fascinating for us middle-aged and older folks see the issue of homosexuality become the #1 issue forcing people to reexamine the "beliefs" they were indoctrinated with as Christians. I wasn't expecting this. I remember as a teen-ager a friend of mine telling me about a film they showed in his church about the evils of homosexuality. I seriously doubt they would even consider that now, it would be too controversial. The younger generation is just sick and tired of the demonizing and negativity of Christianity. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
milesaway Posted January 4, 2014 Share Posted January 4, 2014 I really admire your courage and honesty in admitting something like this. A lot of people don't. Deconversion is a process, not a one-time event where it's like, bam, you're now over it. You're still early in the game, but it sounds like you're making some progress. Keep questioning and reevaluating those old worldviews. Keep reading up on things. You get to decide for yourself if they're still worldviews worth having. You may never completely understand in a concrete sense, but you've taken the initiative to try. Some say that sexuality is fluid, it evolves over time, and I can see how that can be the case. Think of it like this, if they're both consenting adults, then there's no harm, no foul. Being gay is no more a lifestyle choice than being straight is, and you're starting to learn that. It's gonna take time to replace those deeply ingrained worldviews given to you by the church you came from, but it will happen. Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xliar Posted January 4, 2014 Share Posted January 4, 2014 So I have been in the deconversion process for a few months now and I am still deprogramming. It will be a long journey to be where I hope to be someday. But along this journey, I have really begun to evaluate things that I used to be such a staunch believer in. One of those areas is homosexuality. I never have been an outspoken person in regards to this topic, but I, like most Christians, truly believed it to be a sin and that people could be "cured" from its grasp on their lives. I have since realized that this is not the truth. While there is a lot I don't understand about homosexuality and why it happens and all that. There is one thing that I need to say. I am sorry. I apologize that I was uninformed and ignorant and chose to make judgments upon you based on faulty information and a lack of study by myself to better understand who you are. I also want to apologize because I still do not understand it and I may never. But, I have accepted that each and every one who lives a different sexual lifestyle is just as relevant to our society and is just as important and has just as much value as anyone else. I used to not feel that way, but now I have realized this was faulty thinking and was degrading. I also want to apologize because I am still afraid of what I do not know and understand. I still react accordingly and I try to save face by becoming defensive or just shunning some of you. But I do so in ignorance and fear. Because I am human. I have a couple of friends who are lesbians, and I enjoy their friendships. I have no issues with them as people. I struggle with some of the issues their sexuality presents in my life and how it might affect my daughters life. But I am trying to learn. I am trying to understand. I think I am writing this as much for myself as for anyone who might read this. I am trying to be open and honest and to be real. Its hard. But I am making the effort. I hope this helps. Sincerely, a frail human trying to make this place a better one: Storm Hey Storm,,you aint got shit on me, man. I was once impressed by a dude that wanted to either bash a gay or get as far away as possible when asked. I am often sickened when I think back about me. I have a feeling you're much younger than me, and probably smarter, and I doubt you are all that frail. I also bet that you will make a difference. I hear a certain tone in your post and it causes me to have decent thoughts. There's not much hope for my generation Storm There are large numbers of us hopelessly stuck in beliefs that have become blockades to fresh knowledge and ideas. That don't keep me from trying myself but I feel like my words are ignored more often than considered. You can't just discard your friends but their sometimes ugly oppinions can sure disappoint. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts