Secular Advice On Finding Purpose In Life

[Tezia]

I have checked out one of the sticky notes on this forum and have tried to see if my library carries the books and it does not. I will also have to wait to buy it. Anyhow I do need some immediate advice on how to get myself out of a rut. Y'see things are looking quite difficult in life now. I've got several months until I can join the military (too long a story to explain here) but for now I need some immediate solutions.

 

1. Job-I just got booted from my low-paying (7.25/hr. for 10 hrs a week) job and it was my first real one so I am kinda in a bind on what to tell potential future employers on my resume.

 

2. Finding freelance jobs for students-At my last job I discovered that I hate working around people. Not a shocker since I am introverted and have always preferred to do things alone.

 

3. What are secular ways you deal with life's issues?

 

4. How have you found purpose in life/

 

Sorry for the long question. Thanks! :3

[par4dcourse]

His Tezia, and welcome to Ex-C.

I can't help much with the job issues. I've been disabled for a long time now and don't have a read on the job market.

However I can give you my take on the last two questions.

You never had a big fuzzy spirit in the sky to help you, so any and everything you've dealt with to this point has been you and you alone.

As for purpose, I think it's to leave a better world than we came into. There's so many causes that need help, just pick one that appeals and go. Do what you can when you can. Again, there was never any big kahuna guiding your way, so it's been you deciding what o do all along. Religion tries to take all the credit for what you accomplish.

[TheBluegrassSkeptic]

Wow, gotta love the hard knocks of life, huh?

 

Okay, as far as the employment sector, and your being booted.  Leave that job off your resume. Period. Just say you were unemployed during that time frame.

 

Free lance work in what industry? There are many types of telecommunications jobs out there you can do from home. I know Apple has some jobs like that for customer service. Or, get into resale, selling things via Craigslist, Etsy, Ebay (shudder) and other such sites.

 

As far as dealing with life being overwhelming and not jumping back into the fake comforts of deities, I recommend looking at the bigger picture. When I hit a rough patch, I always think ahead. How are things going to be in a year, two years, a decade? I know that particular hardship I am enduring won't last that long and it seems to help keep me from panicking.

 

Life is, as the saying goes, what you make it...for the most part. I've found my "purpose" is to create. I'm happiest when I create art and prose, so I am sticking with that, along with making sure my kids are happy and so much more. Basically, life has more than one purpose. But I did learn how to fine tune some of it so that I'm not doing anything to be happy, but discovered specific things that do it for me. Instead of buying art, I realized making it was more rewarding.

 

Good luck with your journey and the military!

[jdog]

Hi Tezia

I noticed you said you are introverted and you are going into military. I wouldn't have thought that's a good combination especially when you realize you hate working around people but maybe it depends what field you get into in the military but for training you are going to be with people A LOT.

 

To deal with life's issues. I look for solutions.

I see what resources are available to me. I consider all the options out there.

I weigh up the pros and cons of whatever choices available. If I don't have choices then I just have to learn to accept the situation.

Some things

I talk over with my husband if it's something that involves our home and finances etc. we discuss it together and come up with ideas and plans.

Sometimes things pan out, sometimes they don't. We then have to get back to the drawing board.

The difference is I'm not praying and asking for guidance from the lawd. I'm not making decisions based on Bible or Christian teaching. I'm not doing things to glorify god.

I'm not seeking him for what to do. I'm free to use my mind and do what I feel is right For me.

 

As for finding a purpose, I don't actually use that expression. I am not sure if we or I'm here for a purpose as such and or it's my life's quest to find out what that purpose is. It was driving me a bit nuts as a Christian as I was seeking God for answers for what my "purpose" was as I didn't know and I felt there HAD to be a reason why I'm here.

So I am not doing that to myself anymore. I think it can cause us a lot of stress if we are trying to figure our life's purpose.

I would say do things that you like, whatever you gravitate towards. try different things. don't feel that things have to be set in stone. There's always room for change.

If there's anything you feel passionately about then perhaps pursue it.

Obviously living in harmony with others is a good rule of thumb, helping our fellow man if someone is in need. Well there's always someone in need. Helping others can feel really good. And it doesn't have to be a huge thing or on a grand scale

The smallest acts of kindness can brighten someone's day.

 

I currently live a fairly quiet life and I don't work as I have disability and chronic pain. so for me it's taking one day at a time, do my best with the abilities I have. Be kind to others and love those around me and be there for my husband, children, grandchild.

[slave2six]

Hi Tezia,

 

Z is right about the job thing. Best not to mention it. Even if you do, your former employer can only confirm that you worked for them and the dates of employment. I'm pretty sure that your former employer is not allowed to give details about why you left.

 

I'm introverted too and I spent 6 years in the Air Force. Basic training sucked. But after that, it was pretty normalized. What branch of the military are you enlisting in? (One word of advice, if you join, try not to think too much. A lot of what you see and hear and are commanded to do will make no sense to you. It doesn't have to make sense. That was a hard lesson for me to learn.)

 

Struggles in life - Well, I have found that when I am at my lowest point, I find solace in helping someone else. Doesn't matter if you're buying a bag of diapers for a new mom who is struggling, giving a ride to someone who needs it, or simply listening to someone who needs to unload. I find that doing something for others helps me to gain a better perspective on my own life. 

 

Purpose in life - Well, that's rather a big trap, isn't it? We all want our lives to "mean" something big and important. But I think that what we define as "important" is not the same way that other people would measure our importance. 

 

There is hardly a day that goes by that I don't think of Peter Kennett. He was an amazing friend when we were in the military together. He was the first person I ever met who was openly atheist and for whom the sciences were enough of a mystery. He was hilarious and kind and level headed. I miss him dearly and would love to reconnect with him if for no other reason than to tell him how grateful I am for how he touched my life. 

 

He doesn't know the impact he had on me. I think that is true of a lot of people. And I have to believe that if that is true, then I have probably impacted people as well and just didn't know it. 

 

Your purpose is to touch people's lives. It's not a magnanimous, showy thing. Usually the people who impact us the most are the least aware of it. Admitting to yourself that you might be such a person to someone else is the first step in having a healthy outlook on life, IMHO.

[Tezia]

Thank you all for your responses. I have actually read through them all and I will definitely use everything you guys have said. I also am an artist and writer and that is what I want to do in life ultimately. If I can at least make a good living with both skills then I am golden. I have been doing both since 2005 as hobbies. Plus I like to read though I am king of steering a bit away from it as I get older to focus on other priorities but I nonetheless visit the library multiple times every single week. I am also in a position where I have to fix the problems I caused myself by blindly following religion and waiting on some sky being to help me. If only I had not relied on my former religion as a cruch. Oh well. And I am joining the army national guard and plan to do their smp pprogram, which helps you to become an officer. I live in poverty so I'll literally do ANYTHING to get out and this was the easiest way.

[mydisplayname]

 Not a shocker since I am introverted and have always preferred to do things alone.

 

 

I'm an introvert and a few years ago my new job pretty much forced me to give training every now and then to clients. Something that I had no idea I had in me as I was very much an introvert. I can't emphasize enough how much I looked up to it. I had to do it and somehow got through the first time. Then I made it through the second and third time. When I left that company after almost three years I was the guy who always gave the training because everyone hated it and I loved it.

 

At that company I was a consultant and had to help people with our system. My introverted personality actually caused a lot of people to feel more comfortably with me than with some of the other loud consultants. Being an introvert isn't necessarily a bad thing and you might find it an asset even in a job that you would normally not consider suitable for you.

[Blood]

I have checked out one of the sticky notes on this forum and have tried to see if my library carries the books and it does not. I will also have to wait to buy it. Anyhow I do need some immediate advice on how to get myself out of a rut. Y'see things are looking quite difficult in life now. I've got several months until I can join the military (too long a story to explain here) but for now I need some immediate solutions.

 

1. Job-I just got booted from my low-paying (7.25/hr. for 10 hrs a week) job and it was my first real one so I am kinda in a bind on what to tell potential future employers on my resume.

 

2. Finding freelance jobs for students-At my last job I discovered that I hate working around people. Not a shocker since I am introverted and have always preferred to do things alone.

 

3. What are secular ways you deal with life's issues?

 

4. How have you found purpose in life/

 

Sorry for the long question. Thanks! :3

 

Just about everybody hates working around people. You just have to accept that we don't live in a Utopia and learn to somehow deal with others' nonsense. 

 

My only purpose in life is to become less ignorant than I was the day before. If I can achieve that small goal every day, I feel like I've accomplished something. 

[Blood]

 

 Not a shocker since I am introverted and have always preferred to do things alone.

 

 

I'm an introvert and a few years ago my new job pretty much forced me to give training every now and then to clients. Something that I had no idea I had in me as I was very much an introvert. I can't emphasize enough how much I looked up to it. I had to do it and somehow got through the first time. Then I made it through the second and third time. When I left that company after almost three years I was the guy who always gave the training because everyone hated it and I loved it.

 

At that company I was a consultant and had to help people with our system. My introverted personality actually caused a lot of people to feel more comfortably with me than with some of the other loud consultants. Being an introvert isn't necessarily a bad thing and you might find it an asset even in a job that you would normally not consider suitable for you.

 

 

Very well stated.