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I obeyed all the commandments on the list, except the kosher one.  I try not to live in regret over it, but I gave up a lot of good times in the name of religion.

 

I made sure all the weed I smoked was kosher.  God was so proud. 

 

Whiskey is kosher, too.  Right?

 

 

As long as it was blessed by a Rabbi, the peat farmers were all circumcised and the barrels contained only natural fibers. 

 

 

That's just too damn complicated.  Couldn't we just pray a blessing over the corn?  Or use holy water when making the mash?

 

What about vodka?  Is it kosher without so much trouble?

 

 

If you don't want to make god frown, you got to carry your cross with a happy face and do the hard, meaningless, nonsensical toil. 

 

If that sounds like too much for you, just think of all the imaginary things god has done for you and just be grateful. 

 

 

I think I would rather just keep drinking than do either one of these things.

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I obeyed all the commandments on the list, except the kosher one.  I try not to live in regret over it, but I gave up a lot of good times in the name of religion.

 

I made sure all the weed I smoked was kosher.  God was so proud. 

 

Whiskey is kosher, too.  Right?

 

 

As long as it was blessed by a Rabbi, the peat farmers were all circumcised and the barrels contained only natural fibers. 

 

 

That's just too damn complicated.  Couldn't we just pray a blessing over the corn?  Or use holy water when making the mash?

 

What about vodka?  Is it kosher without so much trouble?

 

 

If you don't want to make god frown, you got to carry your cross with a happy face and do the hard, meaningless, nonsensical toil. 

 

If that sounds like too much for you, just think of all the imaginary things god has done for you and just be grateful. 

 

 

I think I would rather just keep drinking than do either one of these things.

 

 

Imagine how sad the imaginary man in the sky is over your decision to pretend his rules are silly. :)

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Uh, kosher is not something that Christians do. There's even a more lax set of rules in Acts 15 that they're supposed to follow (though since Christians eat rare steak, they don't even follow the rule against blood). Nonetheless I kept kosher by default since I'd been raised vegetarian, and continued to do so after converting.

 

I didn't have sex before marriage either. This was mostly because my orthodox Hindu mom would have killed me than because I was a Christian. Guess that also means I kept the birth control thing by default.

 

No offense intended, but a lot of these rules are things that No Christian fundamentalists actually believe in. For example, my evangelical Calvinist brethren from my Christian days did not teach that birth control was sinful (this is a Catholic teaching), that one must keep kosher, that you can't listen to secular music, or that you can't wear extravagant clothes (unless you define extravagant as immodest). And the only place I've seen anti-Harry Potter people is on TV. Am I out of touch here? Does this represent the rules that most people here experienced as Christians? Otherwise, I'd be interested to hear whether or not people here practiced the rules that most evangelicals actually teach.

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I just read all of the replies, lol you guys.

 

Uh, kosher is not something that Christians do. There's even a more lax set of rules in Acts 15 that they're supposed to follow (though since Christians eat rare steak, they don't even follow the rule against blood). Nonetheless I kept kosher by default since I'd been raised vegetarian, and continued to do so after converting.

I know the majority do not however I have sat through a sermon on keeping food laws and such. (I fell asleep.)

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I know the majority do not however I have sat through a sermon on keeping food laws and such. (I fell asleep.)

 

Well it's not just that the majority of Christians fail to keep kosher laws.  Again I don't mean to sound bombastic, I just want to point out that according to every version of Christianity which has a significant following, keeping kosher goes specifically against Christian theological principles.  The New Testament regularly teaches that the Law of Moses has been fulfilled, and therefore there are no dietary restrictions required of Christians (with the exception of blood, as mentioned in Acts 15, though I'm not aware of Christians who keep this restriction).  In fact, the apostle Paul goes so far as to say that those who rely on the law as a means of justification before God are in fact not trusting in Christ, and are not saved.  This is one of the few issues on which Christians of the major denominations actually manage to agree.  So we're talking about Roman Catholics, Eastern Orthodox, evangelicals, etc.  When pastors preach on the sections of the Old Testament emphasizing the importance of the food laws, the usual justification for the moral injunction to keep kosher is that this practice was only important until Christ came to fulfill the law.

 

I hope I didn't give the impression that I'm trying to start arguments.  t just want to caution you against getting into an argument with a Christian and accusing him/her of not following Biblical teachings on kosher, only to have them recite a centuries old (if flawed), well-rehersed explanation as to why no Christian keeps Hebrew dietary laws.

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Abstaining from pre-marital sex was the only one I checked. However, there was one which I “kept” only because it did not apply, and two more which I “kept,” but not for religious reasons, and they weren’t against my religion anyway. I did not check these three.
 
Not using birth control/condoms/etc.: Since I’m not married, and I obeyed the previous rule, this meant no sex at all. The only time birth control ever came up was when some friends tried to fix me up. I was shocked when I learned that they expected me to have sex with a complete stranger, but I quickly played the religion card, and they backed off immediately. (See, religion gets a free pass!) Unfortunately, this prompted them to cancel the date altogether. (Was I being set up to be used?)
 
Nevertheless, contraception was one of two issues where I heavily disagreed with my church, so it would be an error for me to check that option.
 
Did not openly identify as LGBT: I would have to be LGBT in order not to identify as such for religious reasons. Anyway, there was no official rule in my brand of Christinsanity against identifying as LGBT; as long as you kept your pants on, you were fine.
 
Didn’t wear extravagant outfits: I’m not the type. However, there was no such rule in my brand of Christinsanity.
 



 
Of the remaining rules (none of which I kept), only Didn't watch/read banned entertainment books or movies applied to my brand; however, for all practical purposes, they gave up on that rule when I was 3 years old.
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I'm sad that I missed out on Harry Potter. I'm on book three right now and I recommend the series to adult fantasy-lovers who wanted to read them but felt guilty. Some kids' books lose their appeal as one gets older, but I don't think HP does.

 

I didn't listen to music with swearing or blasphemy or sex, never swore, thought R-rated movies must be of Satan, and anything with magic was

bad (unless of course it was Chronicles of Narnia or LOTR). I've heard Xians say that TCON tends to portray magic in a negative light (not completely true) while HP makes it look appealing for children. Pssshhh. This is a cop-out. Gandalf uses plenty of wizardry in LOTR, and he's the good guy. The main reason Xians love Narnia and hobbits but hate Hogwarts is J.K. Rowling isn't Xian like the other authors. (Also, one character is HP is gay apparently, but mostly the christbots squawk about sorcery.)

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Did not openly identify as LGBT: I would have to be LGBT in order not to identify as such for religious reasons. Anyway, there was no official rule in my brand of Christinsanity against identifying as LGBT; as long as you kept your pants on, you were fine.

 

Wait wait wait. So anyone could be as rainbow as they wanted; they just couldn't be in a relationship with the same gender? Or was it more like "Yes, I'm attracted to other men/women, but my walk with the lord is helping me"?

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Did not openly identify as LGBT: I would have to be LGBT in order not to identify as such for religious reasons. Anyway, there was no official rule in my brand of Christinsanity against identifying as LGBT; as long as you kept your pants on, you were fine.

Wait wait wait. So anyone could be as rainbow as they wanted; they just couldn't be in a relationship with the same gender? Or was it more like "Yes, I'm attracted to other men/women, but my walk with the lord is helping me"?

 

 

Yes, both. Be as gay as you like; just don’t have any sex. (And you’re not allowed to masturbate, either.)

 

But notice I said “no official rule.” Unofficially, some of them have been blaming the gays for the church’s adamant refusal inability to keep its priests from fucking little children (when they’re not blaming the children for seducing the priests, anyway).

 

There also seems to be an unofficial rule that you’re not allowed to support gay rights even if you’re not gay. One boy was refused confirmation because he supported gay marriage in secular law. The priest for some reason interpreted that as disagreeing with religious teaching (so many of them can’t seem to tell the difference!) and condemned not only the boy, but his parents to HELL. God is love. (BTW, I have seen zero press commentary, even among the boy’s supporters, that did not assume he was disagreeing with religious law. Maybe he did disagree with the religious law, but I haven’t seen that reported.)

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