I Hate Christians!

[Mudhoney]

Help! This has been a very rough night for me. I’m still traumatized to an extent by my xtian upbringing but I’ve always reminded myself to hate xtianity and not xtian people. Well tonight I HATE xtians. I HATE them. I’ve managed to calm down enough in the past two hours to sit down and write this.

 

I did something that I normally don’t do (for the very reason that it pisses me off) and clicked on a xtian facebook page with a topic that pushes my buttons. I know I shouldn’t have done this. An acquaintance of mine had “shared” it so against better judgment I clicked on it. Just looking at the stupid and insane responses of the xtians on this page sent me over the edge and I just felt this RAGE and HATRED toward every xtian on the planet. I did not join in on the facebook discussion. I could see non-xtians trying to point out the inconsistencies of the xtians and get them to think but the stupid xtians were unreachable. Completely blind. This was a pretty fucked-up page and it had over 70,000 likes. That sent me into a rage also, to think just how many of these people are out there.

 

I don’t want to speak to another xtian for as long as I live, even the ones I’m related to. I feel like asking people if they’re xtian before I even deal with them. I certainly don’t want any of them around my children. What do I do? Is this going to pass? It’s been a few years since I deconverted and I went through an EXTREMELY ANGRY phase but now the anger is back. Even worse, I think, because now it’s directed at people and not just the religion. I’ve been thinking about counseling, so this is an option. I’m just getting so tired of xtianity in my life. It’s still a negative presence in my life and I don’t want the rest of my life to be this way.

[TrueFreedom]

*hugs* We all grasp for what we know.  <3

[mymistake]

What do I do? Is this going to pass?

 

 

I've had some experience with rage.  I recommend the series "When Anger Hurts".  Good books that helped me out.

 

 

The up shot of it is that when I experienced rage like this it was because I had an unrealistic belief.  For example you might believe that people shouldn't be as stupid as the Fundie Christians act.  Then when you see them do that it reminds you that your belief isn't compatible with reality.  I've dealt with the same thing.  Find the belief you have and deal directly with that.  If it turns out that it's "people shouldn't act this stupid" then remind yourself that people can be that stupid, and some of them can't do better.  Try to accept the facts and the world just the way you see them.  Your blood pressure will thank you.

[milesaway]

I've got nothing but pity and contempt for xtians myself. I've dealt with my share of churchies myself, almost all of whom have been nasty, vindictive, dishonest backstabbers. I cannot bring myself to respect sick and twisted beliefs of that caliber, and what they do to people is disgusting in the name of those beliefs. And they have the nerve to whine, cry and play the victim. Assholes. The otherwise decent xtians out there are enablers, and they're part of the problem whether they realize it or not. Some of them may think they can try to fight from within, try to change things themselves, but that'll never happen. Their churches won't let it, and their efforts are all for nothing. My sympathies lie with the ones who've been screwed over in the name of their stupid little club.

 

Groupthink is an ugly thing by itself, and it's worse when you're dealing with someone who's gullible to begin with. That's what you're dealing with on that fb page. I'm not surprised they got so many likes, nor am I surprised that the xtians refused to listen to anything else. They won't listen, they don't want to, and they'd rather bury their heads in the sand.
 

This too shall pass. It comes and goes, it's part of the journey. You'll get to a point where you can take their club and its stupid ever-changing rules with the tiniest grain of salt and move on to other things. Remember that respect is something to earn on personal merit, not automatically given b/c someone belongs to a social club the way xtianity dictates it should.

[gingernut]

So sorry...I know I for one struggle with this sometimes.  I would tell you to try not to be around any for long enough to kind of forget they exist and get it out of your system but I see you live in the SE U.S. so that would be like trying to avoid oxygen.  The good old bible belt.  Try to remember that once you were where they were.  You wouldn't have wanted someone hating you just for being one and saying dumb things...because I know I said dumb things when I was one!  I know some of them don't just say dumb things and are actually hateful and they are the really hard ones to be gracious about.  One thing that helps me is the desire to not let them make me something I don't want to be.  I just wrote on the "did Christianity make you a better person" thread that I am much nicer and kinder now as a non believer.  That is true almost all the time....but when I do feel those hateful feelings come up it is most always directed at a Christian that is saying horrible stuff and judging me unfairly.  Like my husband most of the time!  Anyway....I have to remember that joy I feel most of the time now.  REAL joy that isn't imaginary and based on something that doesn't exist.  Getting angry takes that joy away.  And it is just too good a gift to give away.

[TheBluegrassSkeptic]

Personally, I filter as many xtians out of my life as possible. I've yet to meet one that was a friend, who respected my boundaries. Ever. It just doesn't happen. At some point it never fails that they get motivated by a Sunday morning sermon about lack of action and testimony in their lives, and who do they fuck with? Me. Every damn time. I don't know if I'm like a real trophy to possibly convert, but damn, you'd think they would understand I have ZERO interest in worshiping mythology. Can't do it. Won't do it. I explain to them why I don't like religion, not just theirs, but in general. Denial. Denial. Denial.

 

On a side note, whenever I am single, I make it clear in any emails, dating site ads and whatnot, that I am an atheist. Do not contact me if you are religious in anyway. Even if one just IDENTIFIES but does not practice. Leave me the fuck alone. Some claim that by limiting the types of folks around me, I'm not getting a clear cut life experience, and I feel religious co workers, neighbors, and store acquaintances are enough for me. Thanks.

 

Life is so much easier now.

 

As far as your children being exposed, you cannot really prevent that. You can encourage thought process about what they tell them though, and how to digest the some of the ridiculous things they hear. I did that with my own son before. His aunt decided to send him to VBS during the summer months, and Jesus this and that started falling out of his mouth every other sentence. Well, he got his tonsils out and complained about his throat hurting. I asked to pray. He did. I asked him if his throat quit hurting. He said no. And I asked him why Jesus didn't make the pain go away. Was he a bad boy? Did he not pray hard enough? He had no answer and was clearly upset at the line of questioning. I then handed him Tylenol and a popsicle. A half hour later, he announced he felt better. I told him next time to pray to me and not Jesus.  Lesson learned and he never forgot it.

[seeker001]

Assuming your relatively calm now, what did the page the say that made you flip out? You don't have to answer if you don't want to.

[Mudhoney]

Thank you everyone. So much. All of your suggestions/opinions/commiserations are food for thought. I’m no longer raging, but I’m seriously over xtians and xtianity. It’s depressing that they have such a privileged position in our culture. I don’t want to be angry and depressed and I don’t want xtianity and xtian people to have this kind of effect on me.

[Mudhoney]

Assuming your relatively calm now, what did the page the say that made you flip out? You don't have to answer if you don't want to.

 

The picture that was shared on fb was of a knight with a paragraph discussing chivalry and manhood or something like that. There wasn’t anything unusual about that. Then I noticed where he got the photo from. It’s from a fb page called “Training Children in Truth and Wisdom.” I cringed a little when I read that because usually nothing good comes from xtians talking about training children. I clicked on the page and didn’t see anything unusual until I scrolled down a little and there it was, just what I knew I’d find, a discussion about how people punish their children. I’m so tired of xtians talking about the “rod” and punishment. Xtians love to talk about punishment. They are the only group of people I know that go in depth about punishment and how they punish their children. Xtians have a library of books about it. I wish every single one of them would shove a rod deep up their asses and then choke on it. The comments from the photo of the chivalry knight made me angry, too. There were WOMEN commenting on how women ruined everything “trying” to be equal (e.g. the women’s lib movement). I don’t really want to discuss these topics in this thread, though. I’m trying to keep calm. Xtians are so predictable, though. I just hate them.

[milesaway]

^That stuff is so toxic. Hell, I'd be pissed too. It's so messed up how they managed to get themselves the privilege they've got, but that's changing. More and more people are walking away from that sinking ship, and starting to see those ideas for the bullshit they are.

 

If I were you, I'd find a way to block that kind of content on fb. I'm not on fb, so I'm not familiar with it, but I thought I'd throw that out there. If there isn't, then I wouldn't even bother clicking on the links.

 

Xtians sure are a sadistic lot, aren't they? Their obsession with punishment, pain and suffering is all the proof you need. It's like they're in a contest to see who can be the cruelest, most vicious sadist, which is disgusting. Worse, it's like those sick fucks get off on other people's hardships and suffering.

[RenaissanceWoman]

I know exactly how you feel. Milesaway used two words already that I was going to use: pity and groupthink.

 

I am finally at a point where I feel sorry for them having to dress up and put on their happy faces and  be nice to everyone (well, sort of), and go to church to pretend to grovel for being worthless sinners and sing praises to their imaginary friend. And then hand over some money, of course. And feel guilty because they can't come to one of the events at church, and wonder who is gossiping about them or judging their new shoes or whatever. Sad little lives they lead.

 

But that's all they know. They either grew up that way, or somehow else felt the need to conform. No individual thought. Just play along and look nice and try to look like a good person.

 

I feel sorry for them that they are in a cult and don't even know it. Fear and control run their lives.

 

I have found that the most evil of them are the most insecure and fearful. Instead of getting mad at them, I shake my head in pity.

 

It took a while to get this point. Why are they such assholes? Why do they say they love me, but they all backstabbed me? Why do they say mean things online? Oh, I get it... they don't know any better, and they are scared of not fitting in or of displeasing their wrathful skygod. Pathetic little people.

 

My husband restores classic cars for a living. We have a friend in the septic business who is a non-practicing Christian (but still a believer). We were talking about my deconversion, and he (the friend) admitted that if someone name-drops in a negotiation with him that they are a good Christian, he always thinks, "Oh, so I should double the price." Because Christians always try to dick us over. They demand a lot and want a price break. My husband laughed because he has noticed the same thing in his work. I laughed because I am a graphic designer, and I have noticed the same thing in my line of work. I mentioned the conversation to my atheist colleague, and he said the same thing. So Christians are such a pain in the ass that in these three unrelated industries, we have all dealt with assholes who make us want to double our prices for having to deal with "good Christians."

 

Anyway... a little off topic, but my point is that "good Christians" are not usually good people. Insecure, holier than thou, demanding, and just plain clueless. But they are stuck and don't even know it. Pity is the best I can give them.

[Guest Marty]

 

My husband restores classic cars for a living. We have a friend in the septic business who is a non-practicing Christian (but still a believer). We were talking about my deconversion, and he (the friend) admitted that if someone name-drops in a negotiation with him that they are a good Christian, he always thinks, "Oh, so I should double the price." Because Christians always try to dick us over. They demand a lot and want a price break. My husband laughed because he has noticed the same thing in his work. I laughed because I am a graphic designer, and I have noticed the same thing in my line of work. I mentioned the conversation to my atheist colleague, and he said the same thing. So Christians are such a pain in the ass that in these three unrelated industries, we have all dealt with assholes who make us want to double our prices for having to deal with "good Christians."

 

 

OMZ Ive noticed the same thing!!  I briefly worked at Sam Ash (music store) in the pro audio department.  They would come in with a HUGE list of all the best audio and lighting equipment for their church.  The churches were fought over by us commissioned salesmen, but every time I would ring up anything from $100 to $25,000, they would ask for a discount because it is for church.  They already do not pay any tax for that $25k, now they want me to take commission $$ out of my own pocket so they can have a rock show on Sunday?  Fuck no!  One thing that has stuck from my church days was being taught you never clap in church; you are not there for entertainment…I never gave them anything.  I told them "your tax free status is enough of a price break, I have to eat too."

 

Some of them were fine with that, others looked visibly pissed off that I wasn't giving them a bigger break.

[mymistake]

 

Some of them were fine with that, others looked visibly pissed off that I wasn't giving them a bigger break.

 

 

I'm surprised you never got a sermon from them on how God will reward you for your sacrifice and you can't out give God.

[buffettphan]

 

 

My husband restores classic cars for a living. We have a friend in the septic business who is a non-practicing Christian (but still a believer). We were talking about my deconversion, and he (the friend) admitted that if someone name-drops in a negotiation with him that they are a good Christian, he always thinks, "Oh, so I should double the price." Because Christians always try to dick us over. They demand a lot and want a price break. My husband laughed because he has noticed the same thing in his work. I laughed because I am a graphic designer, and I have noticed the same thing in my line of work. I mentioned the conversation to my atheist colleague, and he said the same thing. So Christians are such a pain in the ass that in these three unrelated industries, we have all dealt with assholes who make us want to double our prices for having to deal with "good Christians."

 

 

OMZ Ive noticed the same thing!! 

 

 

A christian acquaintance of mine, who actually is a decent person, hired a "good christian" from her church to do a major bathroom renovation. This crook did a half-assed job on the little bit of the job he did do.  At one point, he needed some more money to buy materials. Of course he ran off with her money and never returned to finish the job.   Glory to Gawd. In Jeeeeezuuuuus' Name. Amen.    If I see that stupid fish logo on any advertising, I run the other way!

 

Another time, I was having breakfast at a local pancake house.  We were seated at the last table before entering the banquet room.  The servers were arguing among themselves about whose turn it was to have to wait on that "jackass christian group who comes in here every week, constantly bitches, makes a huge mess, and never leaves a tip."   WWJD indeed.   

[slave2six]

To be honest, I have very little patience for most Christians as well, so long as they insist on including me in their religious talk. But there are many out there who know how to be respectful.

 

Counseling sounds like a good idea. I'd start with asking why you clicked on the link when you knew it was a button-pusher for you. You could have totally avoided that whole situation.

 

Imagine you were raised in a small town in Mississippi and everyone around you was racist, including yourself. Then you go off to college and meet a variety of people and learn that people of other ethnicities are not bad. You make friends with a bunch of them. Then you fall in love with a black person. As you look back on your life, you wonder how you were ever racist.

 

Then you go home, knowing what you're going into. You might get angry at the people around you for being so ignorant. But you knew all along that's what you would face. And people are trying to talk you into becoming a racist again. 

 

This is how I view deconversion. Those still in Christianity have no context for understanding what we know. They're still stuck in the small Mississippi town and refuse to leave it.

 

Being angry at them is a wasted effort. They are never going to be able to see things the way you do until they move away from Christtown. 

 

You can avoid them. But when you are with them, you should know better that they are ignorant. And knowing that you were once like that, perhaps you can apply a little compassion for their stupidity.

 

The only thing that bothers me about Christians is when they get preachy. It's like your high-school buddy coming up to the big city where you and your ethnic spouse live and he starts trying to reel you back into racism. Kick him out and tell him not to come back. I have no problem with that. But if you knowingly wander back into that town, it's all on you how you react.

[Mudhoney]

I'd start with asking why you clicked on the link when you knew it was a button-pusher for you. You could have totally avoided that whole situation.

 

That’s a good question. I knew I would probably end up getting upset. Part of it that I wanted to see what this fb acquaintance of mine was into so I could decide whether I wanted to keep him as a friend. But you’re right; I could have avoided the whole situation.

 

I know why I get angry about certain issues, it’s my own past and how it affected me. This is an issue for counseling for sure, but another reason I get so angry is that xtianity is everywhere and can’t be avoided entirely. And the general consensus is that xtianity is benign, peaceful and loving and I know it to be none of these things. I did not attend a wild, snake-picking-up church when I grew up. My family and church would be considered normal by our culture. But this normal family and church has affected my adult life even though I walked away.

 

I’m angry that so few see xtianity for what it really is. I liked your analogy of the people in the small town and it helps to view it this way. It angers me that the xtians have so much political power an entire legal team to change laws to reflect their beliefs. I feel like they have come out of the small town and are dictating what goes on in the big city. Or else they really run the big city and those of us who can see it for what it is are stuck in the small town without a voice.

 

I want to go on fb and not see people praising an imaginary god for everything. The entire month of December is a struggle because I have to endure them taking about the war on xmas. I quit fb for a year and a half and ended up feeling isolated so I went back. If I hide everyone who praises jebus on a regular basis ¾ of the list would be hidden.

[RipVanWinkle]

It's the intransigence of Xtians that drives me crazy. These kind of Xtians will not budge one inch in a discussion about their faith, no matter how absurd there position is. My brother is like that. For a while I felt personally insulted. You all have come across those type of people who are just contrary and won't agree with anything you say, just to irritate you. But that wasn't it. I discovered other Xtians just as stubborn as he. 

 

I remember one time I asked him if he could time travel back to the time of the death and purported resurrection of christ and saw with his own eyes that Jesus was not resurrected from the dead, would he then agree that Xtianity is not true. No, he would not abandon his faith. How brain washed can one be?   bill

[TheRedneckProfessor]

A wise man told me very early in my deconversion that when I get angry it is because I am not getting something that I want.  He told me to ask myself what it was I wasn't getting and then ask myself if I really needed that particular thing to live a healthy life.  If the answer was "No", which it usually was/is, then I could just walk away from the anger, having understood its nature, and not return to it.  I hope this helps.

[slave2six]

 

I'd start with asking why you clicked on the link when you knew it was a button-pusher for you. You could have totally avoided that whole situation.

 

That’s a good question. I knew I would probably end up getting upset. Part of it that I wanted to see what this fb acquaintance of mine was into so I could decide whether I wanted to keep him as a friend. But you’re right; I could have avoided the whole situation.

 

I know why I get angry about certain issues, it’s my own past and how it affected me. This is an issue for counseling for sure, but another reason I get so angry is that xtianity is everywhere and can’t be avoided entirely. And the general consensus is that xtianity is benign, peaceful and loving and I know it to be none of these things. I did not attend a wild, snake-picking-up church when I grew up. My family and church would be considered normal by our culture. But this normal family and church has affected my adult life even though I walked away.

 

I’m angry that so few see xtianity for what it really is. I liked your analogy of the people in the small town and it helps to view it this way. It angers me that the xtians have so much political power an entire legal team to change laws to reflect their beliefs. I feel like they have come out of the small town and are dictating what goes on in the big city. Or else they really run the big city and those of us who can see it for what it is are stuck in the small town without a voice.

 

I want to go on fb and not see people praising an imaginary god for everything. The entire month of December is a struggle because I have to endure them taking about the war on xmas. I quit fb for a year and a half and ended up feeling isolated so I went back. If I hide everyone who praises jebus on a regular basis ¾ of the list would be hidden.

 

 

I gave up FB after I was down to 11 friends and half of them were still posting retarded Christian platitudes. Didn't miss it at all. 

 

I'm really glad you're here kicking it with us, though. It may prove to be good for you but I know that you will have a lot of valuable insights to others who are going through the process.

 

Hang in there. We're here for you.

[Blood]

I gave up Facebook last June. The business model where you give Zuckerberg all of your personal data for nothing, then Zuckerberg uses that data to sell targeted ads and make billions of dollars, and then doesn't pay any taxes on the billions of dollars ... I can't support that. It's obscene. 

[Blood]

Help! This has been a very rough night for me. I’m still traumatized to an extent by my xtian upbringing but I’ve always reminded myself to hate xtianity and not xtian people. Well tonight I HATE xtians. I HATE them. I’ve managed to calm down enough in the past two hours to sit down and write this.

 

I did something that I normally don’t do (for the very reason that it pisses me off) and clicked on a xtian facebook page with a topic that pushes my buttons. I know I shouldn’t have done this. An acquaintance of mine had “shared” it so against better judgment I clicked on it. Just looking at the stupid and insane responses of the xtians on this page sent me over the edge and I just felt this RAGE and HATRED toward every xtian on the planet. I did not join in on the facebook discussion. I could see non-xtians trying to point out the inconsistencies of the xtians and get them to think but the stupid xtians were unreachable. Completely blind. This was a pretty fucked-up page and it had over 70,000 likes. That sent me into a rage also, to think just how many of these people are out there.

 

I don’t want to speak to another xtian for as long as I live, even the ones I’m related to. I feel like asking people if they’re xtian before I even deal with them. I certainly don’t want any of them around my children. What do I do? Is this going to pass? It’s been a few years since I deconverted and I went through an EXTREMELY ANGRY phase but now the anger is back. Even worse, I think, because now it’s directed at people and not just the religion. I’ve been thinking about counseling, so this is an option. I’m just getting so tired of xtianity in my life. It’s still a negative presence in my life and I don’t want the rest of my life to be this way.

 

Unfortunately, it's going to be very difficult to ignore as long as you live in Jesusland, aka the USA. It can drive you insane if you let it. 

[Ravenstar]

Anger is important, it's a stage of de-conversion. It gives us the power to stand in our truth, at least until we feel more secure in our position. Don't accept any guilt for feeling it… likewise, don't walk into it when you can see it coming because you are just causing yourself a lot of stress. Oh, and Facebook pretty much sucks unless one is VERY careful with it.

 

You may read all about my anger here: Maybe it will help (?)    

 

(*I hate them too, generally though, not individually)

[mymistake]

A wise man told me very early in my deconversion that when I get angry it is because I am not getting something that I want.  He told me to ask myself what it was I wasn't getting and then ask myself if I really needed that particular thing to live a healthy life.  If the answer was "No", which it usually was/is, then I could just walk away from the anger, having understood its nature, and not return to it.  I hope this helps.

 

I think it's brilliant.  Thanks for sharing.

[RipVanWinkle]

(*I hate them too, generally though, not individually) Ravenstar

 

In other words, you hate the faith, not the faithful. 

[Ravenstar]

exactly