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Goodbye Jesus

The Mental Barriers To De-Conversion


RaLeah

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You are told NOT to trust your OWN thoughts and inner voice.

 

Bile verses such as "trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lean not unto thine own understanding..."

 

it was hammered into us that we were NOT to trust our feelings, emotions, gut, inner voice, etc.... that we needed to just trust God

& of course the person who is speaking for God is the Man-a-Gawd = Pastor.

 

In time you stop trusting & listening to yourself & begin to follow blindly.

Seek ye first the kingdom of god and his righteousness and all these things shall be added unto you.  

 

This one sentence alone caused me to be completely unprepared for life in the real world when I entered adulthood.  I just thought god would provide for my earthly needs so long as I followed his path.  The disillusionment of realizing that it was a lie nearly destroyed me.

 

Yes, yes, yes!  Why WOULDN'T you believe that god would provide for you? We had every reason for doing so. It was all laid out crystal clear in God's Word!   What a disaster when we realized that wasn't going to happen! What did we do wrong? Didn't we believe it from childhood?   Really Christians, WTF!

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Thread pinned.   Margee was right about this being a 5-star thread!  It is and will continue to be so helpful for those who are questioning and struggling with their faith.  Thanks for such an insightful post, RaLeah, and thanks to everyone else who has contributed.

 

  thanks.gif

Thank you for the pin.  :)  I really appreciate everyone's kind words and contributions to this posting. 

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You are told NOT to trust your OWN thoughts and inner voice.

 

Bile verses such as "trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lean not unto thine own understanding..."

 

it was hammered into us that we were NOT to trust our feelings, emotions, gut, inner voice, etc.... that we needed to just trust God

& of course the person who is speaking for God is the Man-a-Gawd = Pastor.

 

In time you stop trusting & listening to yourself & begin to follow blindly.

Seek ye first the kingdom of god and his righteousness and all these things shall be added unto you.  

 

This one sentence alone caused me to be completely unprepared for life in the real world when I entered adulthood.  I just thought god would provide for my earthly needs so long as I followed his path.  The disillusionment of realizing that it was a lie nearly destroyed me.

 

Yes, yes, yes!  Why WOULDN'T you believe that god would provide for you? We had every reason for doing so. It was all laid out crystal clear in God's Word!   What a disaster when we realized that wasn't going to happen! What did we do wrong? Didn't we believe it from childhood?   Really Christians, WTF!

 

 

"Consider the lilies of the field. They toil not, neither do they spin. Yet your heavenly father cares for them. Are ye not much greater than they, oh ye of little faith?" And sure, those little flowers are thriving there, because you can see them growing. 

 

But... um... at the first frost, they die. Nice. Because they didn't toil or spin or build themselves a little greenhouse to survive the winter.

 

But I know a lot of Christians say, "The Lord will provide." And the ones who thrive in the face of great odds stand up in front of everyone and share their stories in church, and everyone says "Amen" and they applaud and cry. (And the ones who were destroyed or wiped out financially or injured fatally... well, they aren't in church, allowed to  give their extimony, are they?) 

 

Which reminds me... I hate the song: His Eye is on the Sparrow. Yeah. And they die in a couple years. Great job, God, keeping your eye on them while they drop dead. Don't think you're bringing them all up to heaven afterwards. 

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This is all so true... as I am currently in the process of deconverting, this all speaks to me powerfully. 

 

As a matter of fact, only 5 feet away from me there is a picture on the wall that says "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and lean not unto thine own understanding." This is in our living room. Sometimes I forget the extent of my indoctrination... (if you're questioning why the sign is there, it is my parents', I am a teen). 

 

I am still trying to learn to trust myself. Whenever I tell my mother about how scarring the concept of Hell is (I'm essentially "out" to her but she's still kind of in denial and treats me like the "good Christian girl" I was) she always sighs and says she wishes I wasn't traumatized by it when I was very young because it's terrifying to kids - you're supposed to learn that when you're older. I looked at her and asked, "What difference does it make if that's what Christianity teaches?" And naturally, she had no answer but God is love. 

 

Thank you all for this thread - it is so comforting and helpful, as well as inspiring to see that all of you have managed to get through these barriers. I hope that one day I will as well. 

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You are told NOT to trust your OWN thoughts and inner voice.

 

Bile verses such as "trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lean not unto thine own understanding..."

 

it was hammered into us that we were NOT to trust our feelings, emotions, gut, inner voice, etc.... that we needed to just trust God

& of course the person who is speaking for God is the Man-a-Gawd = Pastor.

 

In time you stop trusting & listening to yourself & begin to follow blindly.

Seek ye first the kingdom of god and his righteousness and all these things shall be added unto you.  

 

This one sentence alone caused me to be completely unprepared for life in the real world when I entered adulthood.  I just thought god would provide for my earthly needs so long as I followed his path.  The disillusionment of realizing that it was a lie nearly destroyed me.

 

Oh I heard that "seek ye the kingdom of gawd..." verse more times than I can count! It was just another excuse to stay the course and NOT question.

 

And I understand the disillusionment because I really really tried to believe it too. Then I saw how other "true believers" were just as "worldly" as the "world"!

The believers were not seeking god and his righteousness, they were focusing on feathering their nests and doing

what all of the worldly people were doing...I realized I gave my time and energy to bullshit. It was devastating.

 

All of the bible readings, studies, prayers, fasting, fellowship, etc. was a bunch of bullshit!

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This is all so true... as I am currently in the process of deconverting, this all speaks to me powerfully. 

 

As a matter of fact, only 5 feet away from me there is a picture on the wall that says "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and lean not unto thine own understanding." This is in our living room. Sometimes I forget the extent of my indoctrination... (if you're questioning why the sign is there, it is my parents', I am a teen). 

 

I am still trying to learn to trust myself. Whenever I tell my mother about how scarring the concept of Hell is (I'm essentially "out" to her but she's still kind of in denial and treats me like the "good Christian girl" I was) she always sighs and says she wishes I wasn't traumatized by it when I was very young because it's terrifying to kids - you're supposed to learn that when you're older. I looked at her and asked, "What difference does it make if that's what Christianity teaches?" And naturally, she had no answer but God is love. 

 

Thank you all for this thread - it is so comforting and helpful, as well as inspiring to see that all of you have managed to get through these barriers. I hope that one day I will as well. 

I hope you get through it Apostate. You seem smart and a thinker so I'm sure you will overcome. Hugz

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Trust in the Lord, praise his name.  I see that all the time on facebook.  one friend is in a financial train wreck and God is good because he gave her a min wage job finally. Another one was laid off and found a new job and is saying God is good.  See how quick we run to the 'Lord" in times of trouble, like Pavlov's dog.  Shit happens, much of it by chance and as you grow older you do start to realize this.  Much of the church is the same thing as al queda: Brainwashing: notice the suicide bombers are the young believers, the older ones found reality.

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"Seek ye first the kingdom of god and his righteousness and all these things shall be added unto you."

RNP

 

 

Yep. It's the biggest lie of all. bill

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God watches over every sparrow, but cannot send an inch of rain to drought ravaged areas of the world. Makes you question a loving God.

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This article is really spot on! Probably the biggest issues I had in my deconversion were that the bible was supposedly error free, and of course threat of eternal damnation for even questioning anything. It's pitiful and downright scary how much fear Christians put into an innocent, young child in order to program and brainwash them. I was lucky in that I was able to eventually come to my senses... It's a shame so many more dont even give in to the possibility of possibly being wrong, or for that matter thinking outside the box.

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I guess the church likes to keep people dumbed down and closed minded in order to easier manipulate them... No wonder Christians are compared to sheep... They are herded and controlled by anyone they let have authority over them, and they dare not question it for fear of being cast outside of the flock

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