Fweethawt Posted February 28, 2014 Share Posted February 28, 2014 The dude was a Boss. Plain and simple. He'll be missed. He brought a lot of laughter and thought provoking comments to this board.That's all I know -- and need to know -- to know that he was a good person. Warts and all... Sorry, Jose. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fweethawt Posted February 28, 2014 Share Posted February 28, 2014 . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lilith666 Posted February 28, 2014 Share Posted February 28, 2014 Oh, bloody hell. I'm sorry, Jose. Being close to someone with depression is terrible, but I never knew anyone who actually committed suicide. That's hard. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
duderonomy Posted March 1, 2014 Share Posted March 1, 2014 I'm sorry this happened. This is so very sad. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike D Posted March 1, 2014 Share Posted March 1, 2014 Wow this is very sad. I didn't know Foxy (Ben) personally, but I remember him from years ago back in the old days of this site. He had met a girl here and I think she moved to Florida for awhile, and it didn't work out. I think he took a break from the site for awhile (I did also), but then I remember he came around again. Unfortunately I never interacted with him much, but I did always read his posts as he struck me as being a very intelligent person, and he had a good sense of humor. I guess you never really know what's going on in someone's head, because he always seemed like a very confident and secure person.... not someone who I would have thought would take his own life. Especially since as others had pointed out from a few of his posts I remember reading awhile ago he was engaged and seemed happy. Sad indeed. RIP Foxy. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike D Posted March 1, 2014 Share Posted March 1, 2014 Sorry for your loss Jose. My brother in law passed away two years ago in a car accident, which possibly could have been self inflicted. So I know it's a shock... it sucks. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jose Posted March 1, 2014 Author Share Posted March 1, 2014 I went to Ben's Celebration of Life (read: Nontraditional Funeral) yesterday. I was struck by how little of his life was represented... maybe it was because his extended family was going to be there, or not to offend those who didn't know him better, or for some other reason I can't fathom. The fact is, Ben's life wasn't just running and biking and bass guitar and playing with kids. Ben's life, for a long time, was darkness and pain and drugs and brutal music played loud and lyrics for songs that scared people and hatred and prejudice and alienating people and a constant struggle to matter, to be important, to be alive. Ben was my best friend for a long time. He was the person who knew me best in the whole world. He knew me better than my parents, he knew me better than any girl I was ever with, he knew who I was at my core and while he didn't always like who I was, he always accepted me because he knew I accepted him. We had our troubles, like any friends, sometimes we'd just avoid each other for a few days and then pretend whatever it was didn't happen, sometimes it would be a few weeks and we'd have to shake hands, forgive each other, and then pretend it didn't happen. The one thing we never did was talk about our feelings, we knew we were important to each other, but it never had to be a "thing." Even our last falling out wasn't complete... we'd still see other on message boards that we both frequented. We talked like nothing was wrong, but it was better online than in person and we both knew it. When we decided to form a band while we were working together we were pretty signing off on being crammed up each others' asses for 12 to 16 hours a day six days a week and neither one of us minded. Disembodied Voices never went anywhere professionally, but we made a CD and played shows - Hell, we headlined a show at the Eclipse in 2006 and it was fucking awesome and still one of my best memories. I got my first tattoo because of a DV song and after he was done making fun of me, Ben admitted that it looked cool. I can feel myself starting to ramble, but I guess what I want to say is this: All those things that made parts of Ben's life verboten at a family gathering are the things I miss about him. Whether we were sitting around writing music or just shooting the shit after practice, whether we were out at a club dancing or homeless in New Orleans sleeping on park benches, we were friends. That's what I'll miss the most. Having someone there, or even just out in the world somewhere else, that could be my touchstone. Someone who knew me. Someone who accepted the fact that I was never going to be like him or, hell... even listen to his advice. I miss you, Ben. I wish you could know how much. Sleep well, my friend. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
★ Citsonga ★ Posted March 1, 2014 Share Posted March 1, 2014 Wow, I'm sorry to hear the sad news. Though I didn't have much direct interaction with FoxyMethoxy, I remember the name and he'll definitely be missed. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Positivist Posted March 1, 2014 Share Posted March 1, 2014 Oh dear. How dreadful. Life is so hard and full of pain. [[[Hugs]]] 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts