Adam5 Posted March 25, 2014 Posted March 25, 2014 Hi All Do you still go to church? If so, is this regular, only occasions like easter or christmas, or only to weddings/baptism/funerals? And do you do anything different now when you go, as an ex-C?
Guest Posted March 25, 2014 Posted March 25, 2014 I was just thinking about this the other day. I deconverted in my early to mid teens, and didn't pay attention to the date of the last time I went to church. I will say it had to be either an easter or xmas service because I did attend a few of those to appease my mother. All in all it has to be 20 years now since I've been to an actual church service. I graduated high school in 1995, and I do remember my last few years at home were spent not going to church, so this year may very well be my 21st year.
Ninj Posted March 25, 2014 Posted March 25, 2014 Can't say I do. I would probably attend one if I had to go to a wedding or a funeral, but otherwise I simply don't have any interest in attending one anymore.
BlindersRemoved Posted March 25, 2014 Posted March 25, 2014 I haven't been since I deconverted and have no intentions of ever going again. I think I'd rather have a root canal than sit through a sermon again. 3
GraphicsGuy Posted March 25, 2014 Posted March 25, 2014 I went to a United Church service a year or so ago because I wanted to hear the speaker they had in that day - it was regarding the "new" progressive church and speaking a softer message and worrying less about church politics and more about people. This church has a gay minister and openly support LGBT rights and freedoms. It was really good to see and hear about changes happening now and more on the horizon. I spoke with the ministers for a bit and they were really happy to hear that their message had coaxed me to step back into a church after 5+ years of staying the hell away, but I outright told them that I really had no intention of joining theirs. That's the only thing I didn't like about being there. You get viewed as "fresh meat" by the members and staff, all of them wanting you to join their little happy-club. A little further back, I went to a non-christian men's group that was based on Ernest Holme's "Science of the Mind" (which I didn't realize at the time). Those guys were really pushy and I did not even attempt to go to one of their services nor did I join their little group again. Occasionally I miss the social gathering of church and such, but it hasn't been enough to make me actively seek out a place to join.
Kris Posted March 25, 2014 Posted March 25, 2014 Hell no--- I hated going to church even when I was a Christian. I just wanted to go out to eat afterward!!
Sophrosyne Posted March 25, 2014 Posted March 25, 2014 I go to my family's church occasionally. Partly so they don't worry about me, or wonder. I never suddenly stopped going, it was just a gradual down fall with my attendance. I used to go weekly, now I go every so often. No one noticed, but they would have questioned me if I stopped cold turkey. Once I leave my hometown, I won't attend church anymore. Things I do differently: Well, I don't apply the sermon to my own personal life. I don't close my eyes while they're praying.. sometimes I just look down and wait for them to stop talking. I don't sing along to hymns. I don't take a bible, I don't take notes. The church I attend has some kind people, but the church service itself can be a bore. It's not too terrible though, I'm just kind of apathetic towards them and their belief system. I wish I was brave enough to openly tell people I don't follow their religion anymore, but with family involved it's easier said than done. 2
Jds22 Posted March 25, 2014 Posted March 25, 2014 The only reason my wife and I go is because our son is the music director and organist. If he has put together something special we'll go to see him, but that's the only reason.
Woodsy Posted March 25, 2014 Posted March 25, 2014 My husband and I haven't gone since last July and don't plan on going back. We are quite happy with our free Sundays and enjoy being together.
Super Moderator TheRedneckProfessor Posted March 25, 2014 Super Moderator Posted March 25, 2014 I go into a Presbyterian church building on Saturdays because that's where my son's Russian school is held. I haven't been to an actual church service in more than 10 years. I prefer sleeping in and spending time with the family on Sundays. 1
vandert Posted March 25, 2014 Posted March 25, 2014 I attend church on most Sundays because my wife feels abandoned if I'm not there. I can sacrifice 1.5 hours most weeks out of respect of her. I respectfully stand when the congregation stands. Apart from that I read my Kindle.
Ramen666 Posted March 25, 2014 Posted March 25, 2014 I went last year to appease parents, 5 times. First time in 8 years since deconverting at my former church. It was so damn awkward as hell. I sat there with disgust on my face how silly it all was and I couldn't believe I used to believe that. When I got tired of hearing the preacher, I just take long bathroom breaks (play on my phone) and walk around outside for a bit. 1
Roz Posted March 25, 2014 Posted March 25, 2014 Like some here, yeah, I still go to church. My reasons are exactly the same, it's for family. It's time with them, so even if I'm not comfortable they are, and for me that's enough. Plus there's free food for me afterwards, so hey, I'll take it.
milesaway Posted March 25, 2014 Posted March 25, 2014 Nope. I can't ever bring myself to set foot in another church again, not even a Unitarian Universalist one. After what happened during my rodeo with christendom, there's no way in hell. 1
Super Moderator TheRedneckProfessor Posted March 25, 2014 Super Moderator Posted March 25, 2014 Nope. I can't ever bring myself to set foot in another church again, not even a Unitarian Universalist one. After what happened during my rodeo with christendom, there's no way in hell. I felt this same way until I found out the Russian school was held in a church building. I was frustrated at first, because I had vowed never to darken a church door again (and I try to keep my vows); but it has given me a lot of quality time with the boy. It has also afforded me many an opportunity to shred religion to pieces for him... inside the very house of god!!! 1
Eugene39 Posted March 26, 2014 Posted March 26, 2014 Do you still go to church? If so, is this regular, only occasions like easter or christmas, or only to weddings/baptism/funerals? And do you do anything different now when you go, as an ex-C? I quit church awhile after it all fell apart for me, so January 2011 was a "new start" without regular church attendance. After a few months, I did attend for a short period of time, then went only to SS for awhile with my wife to try to keep things somewhat as they had been for years. It didn't take long for me to want to stab my ears with razor blades, so quit all together. One of the last times I went to church was on Easter. I vowed never again will I ever attend another Easter Sunday. That whole week is about a demigod sacrifice climaxing with a resurrection and that is so anti-common sense.
Deva Posted March 26, 2014 Posted March 26, 2014 I admit that something like a VERY liberal progressive Christian church actually still has some appeal for me. Damn, that was hard to write but I have been thinking about it. I don't believe any of the traditional doctrine whatsoever, but being in some group that actually might do things to try to help other people, like the homeless and poor of our community is appealing. I haven't done it yet, because I don't know if I could stand even some mention of "sinners" and so forth, but I am beginning to wonder if I could stand it. I don't know, its been 13 years since I regularly attended any church. The Buddhist center I go to does not have these kinds of opportunities, they are all focused on just working at the center, and not the community at large. I feel that this is somehow wrong, but maybe that's just me. No, I would never go back to Christianity as it was taught to me in childhood, but I miss the sense of community.
Adam5 Posted March 26, 2014 Author Posted March 26, 2014 I don't believe any of the traditional doctrine whatsoever, but being in some group that actually might do things to try to help other people, like the homeless and poor of our community is appealing. I guess that a Unitarian church or maybe helping out in a food bank or soup kitchen could be an alternative to going to a Buddhist center.
Adam5 Posted March 26, 2014 Author Posted March 26, 2014 One of the last times I went to church was on Easter. I vowed never again will I ever attend another Easter Sunday. That whole week is about a demigod sacrifice climaxing with a resurrection and that is so anti-common sense. I know exactly what you mean. This is why I asked the question, as I am attending a couple of Easter services, as now just sing then and at Christmas. The thought of showing up just a few times as year is now difficult so may quit altogether. Easter is indeed a grim festival, when you think about it.
Adam5 Posted March 26, 2014 Author Posted March 26, 2014 Like some here, yeah, I still go to church. My reasons are exactly the same, it's for family. It's time with them, so even if I'm not comfortable they are, and for me that's enough. I was wondering for those that go, do you pray and all that stuff. Last time I went I didnt partticpate when prayers were said. And having a look around was suprised to see that amongst all the bowed heads, there were a few other non-participants. And I was thinking they are like me thinking this is all bollocks and what am I doing here!
Adam5 Posted March 26, 2014 Author Posted March 26, 2014 ..I wish I was brave enough to openly tell people I don't follow their religion anymore, but with family involved it's easier said than done. As you also said in the post you dont sing, dont close your eyes when you pray, etc. I think others will catch on that you'e not into religion. So if you do tell your family it may not be a suprise to them.
Roz Posted March 26, 2014 Posted March 26, 2014 Like some here, yeah, I still go to church. My reasons are exactly the same, it's for family. It's time with them, so even if I'm not comfortable they are, and for me that's enough. I was wondering for those that go, do you pray and all that stuff. Last time I went I didnt partticpate when prayers were said. And having a look around was suprised to see that amongst all the bowed heads, there were a few other non-participants. And I was thinking they are like me thinking this is all bollocks and what am I doing here! No I don't. I'm open about my non-belief. What's ironic is that I make myself freely available to talk to people about it, but the believers just whisper amongst each other about my current road to damnation instead of just talking to me about it.
Adam5 Posted March 26, 2014 Author Posted March 26, 2014 ... but the believers just whisper amongst each other about my current road to damnation instead of just talking to me about it. I suppose thats better than being pushed against the wall and being told manically that you arent saved
francesco Posted March 26, 2014 Posted March 26, 2014 Hi All Do you still go to church? If so, is this regular, only occasions like easter or christmas, or only to weddings/baptism/funerals? And do you do anything different now when you go, as an ex-C? I regularly go to online church that I can stand the most I cannot stand the real one here because of some reasons and it's also provide a good effect in my my relationship with christians family and friends It's still acceptable from them as long as I go to church and I am able to avoid awkward moment or lying if they asked for my church attendance
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