If I Hadn't Already Stopped Believing, This Would Clinch It

[Pantophobia]

I don't even know what to think right now. One of my best friends just lost her husband, another long-time friend, to a sudden lung condition. He was only 46. They'd already been through a shitstorm of horrible things: an infant daughter who died, infertility problems, health issues, the loss of his mother and his father's immediate remarriage which set off a whole mess of family bullshit. Through it all, they never stopped being amazing, dynamic, brilliant people, both as individuals and as a couple, as well as of parents of their little goofball of a son.

 

The thought that someone, somewhere, might've orchestrated this turn of events for whatever "plan" or "reason" would be enough to make me an unbeliever if I wasn't already. 

 

There is nothing that makes this kind of thing understandable. There is nothing that give it meaning. A seven-year-old child is going to grow up without the father who loved him and was devoted to raising him to be a fantastic person. My friend, one of the most genuinely good people I've ever known, has lost first her daughter, and now her partner, who adored her. It's too much to even try to wrap my mind around. I guess that's why I'm posting something here. All of the usual things you're supposed to say or do when someone dies feels ridiculously trivial right know.

 

I just know that, like someone did when their baby died, if someone tries to tell her that "this must have happened for a reason!" I will hunt that person down and throttle them with my bare hands. That anyone could think anything about this is "reasonable" by some god's standards is beyond inhumane.

[Thurisaz]

Don't forget to hiss "No worries even this happens for a reeeeeeason!" while you strangle him

 

Yeah what a sick load of crap indeed

[buffettphan]

My sympathies, P.    How the believers just keep on believing is something I'll never understand.  

[Guest MadameX]

Theodicy will do it.

 

Sorry for your friends' sequence of terrible events.

[Onyx]

Nothing is ever reasonable about tragedies. If Christians or any other religionists really saw how horrible such tragedies are, they would not have said what they said to us and anybody else. They would have kept to themselves unless prompted. It would be a less stressful world, if every fundamentalist shut up and became tactful and nice to people when they cry and mourn a loss in their lives. Alas, this is a tragedy in itself, thus is not a reasonable reality to go through.

Nobody need to put up with this tactlessness anymore.

[Onyx]

Hope your friend heals from the pain, it's a shitty thing to go through.

[TheRedneckProfessor]

In my experience, people who claim that tragedy happens for a reason or according to some divine destiny are really trying more to reassure themselves that that particular delusion is true than they are trying to help the person upon whom tribulation has been visited.

 

My thoughts are with you and yours, P.  I'm truly sorry to hear.

[Overcame Faith]

My sympathies to your friend, her son, and you. Such tragedy and sadness!

[flockoff]

Even worse than Christians who will tell you that god has greater things in store or that "I guess he needed another angel" are the hard line Calvinist types who will say that god is too great to have the obligation to do anything and only by his tremendous love does anyone prosper at all. That so many people could think like that doesn't say great things about us as a race.

 

I'm very sorry for her loss and yours.

[★ Citsonga ★]

So sorry to hear the heartbreaking news. Even if I could come up with a thousand words of encouragement, it would be inadequate. My thoughts are with you.

 

Theodicy will do it.

 

 

It's theidiocy, isn't it?

[RipVanWinkle]

"If Christians or any other religionists really saw how horrible such tragedies are, they would not have said what they said to us and anybody else." Onyx

 

I think the very reason they say these stupid things is to avoid seeing it clearly.  bill

[EternalEquinox]

I'm very sorry for your loss and the losses suffered by your friend, Pantophobia. Cheers to all the wonderful years he had on this planet with friends and family! 
 

 

 

 

I just know that, like someone did when their baby died, if someone tries to tell her that "this must have happened for a reason!" I will hunt that person down and throttle them with my bare hands. That anyone could think anything about this is "reasonable" by some god's standards is beyond inhumane.

I also feel the same about statements like that. I almost lost it when one of my relatives said something similar, although it was years ago, and to this day I get really pissed when someone says something like that...UGH!  Just drives me nuts!

[Ellinas]

Very sorry to hear of this.

[amateur]

So tragic, and I'm so very sorry to hear of this.  There really are no words, and anybody that would trivialize it should be ashamed.

[boftx]

I can easily identify with this. As I relate the following, bear in mind that I recognized that I am not a Christian more than 30 years ago.

 

My youngest daughter (who is now 13) was born deaf. Apparently, that wasn't bad enough. She suffered a stroke at age 9 that has left without the use of her left side pretty much. Not a good thing for a child who had dreams of being a dancer or a gymnast.

 

I usually get one of two responses from Christians who learn of this:

1 - God has a plan for this wonderful child. You should feel honored that He has entrusted her to you.

2 - This is your punishment for losing your faith.

 

Excuse me, I need to go puke.

[Thurisaz]

I hope you have enough self-control to beat the shit out of the morontheist babbling such crap before you have to puke... would be a shame otherwise.

[FreeThinkerNZ]

P, I'm so sorry to hear of this.  Thinking of you and yours.