maxmaxmaxmax Posted May 4, 2014 Share Posted May 4, 2014 ‘I’m not sad, I’m depressed,’ I said. ‘What’s the difference?’ she asked. ‘I thought they were the same.’ ‘I have been both at different times,’ I replied. ‘If you let me I’ll explain: When you are sad you want to be happy. When you are depressed you want to live, but life is on pause. When you are sad you want to feel loved. When you are depressed you just want to feel. When you are sad you want to talk to a friend. When you are depressed you don't want to talk to anyone. When you are sad you want to eat something yummy. When you are depressed the thought of making a meal is as terrifying as an oncoming train. When you are sad you can be persuaded to cheer up. When you are depressed the concept of cheer is nonsensical. When you are sad you might start to cry. When you are depressed you wish you could cry, but instead you stare. When you are sad you might listen to music. When you are depressed your favourite music sounds like white noise. When you are sad you might watch TV. When you are depressed you can’t switch it on, because you can’t move. When you are sad you want to be happy. When you are depressed you want to live, but you are dead.’ ‘Oh,’ she said. ‘Yes,’ I said. ‘So what can I do to help?’ she asked. ‘Not much,’ I replied. ‘Just don’t tell me I’m sad.’ 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bfuddled Posted May 4, 2014 Share Posted May 4, 2014 Great description.. some people don't understand how profoundly different the two can be. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator TrueFreedom Posted May 4, 2014 Moderator Share Posted May 4, 2014 Does that make tears and sadness a breakthrough when one is depressed? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest afireinside Posted May 4, 2014 Share Posted May 4, 2014 Amazing mate, sums up exactly how I feel lately! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maxmaxmaxmax Posted May 5, 2014 Author Share Posted May 5, 2014 Does that make tears and sadness a breakthrough when one is depressed? I don't know. I am not an expert so can only speak from personal experience. When I was really depressed I did cry, so maybe what I wrote there was a little inaccurate. But it was still a different kind of crying. I would start getting tearful out of nowhere for no apparent reason. Sometimes crying feels good in a way, but this did not. I just was confused and annoyed that I was crying for no reason and wanted it to stop, and wanted the whole thing to stop. More often than that I can remember just staring into space a lot. For me, depression is a feeling of numbness, of apathy, and of hopelessness, rather than being 'upset' about anything in particular. That's the distinction I think a lot of people don't get - I certainly didn't get it before I experienced it - and that's what I wanted to talk about. Amazing mate, sums up exactly how I feel lately! Sorry to hear that. I thought maybe some people could relate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FreeThinkerNZ Posted May 5, 2014 Share Posted May 5, 2014 I can really relate. How did you get out of your depression? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maxmaxmaxmax Posted May 5, 2014 Author Share Posted May 5, 2014 I'm not entirely sure, but I think it was a mixture of the following: Talking therapy with qualified psychotherapists Online research to understand what happened Gradual rebuilding of self-identity, meaning, hope Forcing myself to go running and play football Change of circumstances allowing me several fresh starts I'm not yet 100%, there's still a kind of melancholy always there in the background that sometimes rears its head, but I'm living my life and going in the right direction. It was only ever 'moderate' depression anyway; I've never been suicidal. Anxiety has always been a bigger issue for me. Still not fun though. I don't know how much my experience is similar to other people's. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FreeThinkerNZ Posted May 5, 2014 Share Posted May 5, 2014 Thanks, that's very helpful. People's experiences may differ but the things that help with depression are similar. I'm a big fan of exercise and diet, getting enough sleep, the right meds when needed, and good psychotherapy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest afireinside Posted May 5, 2014 Share Posted May 5, 2014 I don't know how to explain what I want to say. Post-religion my depression has turned into an angry, bitter, self-defeating type of mindset where I've let some really negative and destructive things into my life and my psyche. Knowing they are destructive but allowing them to reside has made me angry at myself also, these have dovetailed into a state of what-the-fuckness where I've felt like I'm losing it. I feel a bit lost now without a God to fall back on, I am finding my way out of the darkness and slowly the pieces of my life that it have scattered in anger and frustration are beginning to re-align slowly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator TrueFreedom Posted May 5, 2014 Moderator Share Posted May 5, 2014 I've struggled with this as well. What seems to help me most is to take advantage of opportunities to step outside of myself and serve others. I've had to look for new places to do that since leaving church, but they have not been hard to find. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Voice Posted May 6, 2014 Share Posted May 6, 2014 You should submit this to Business Insider, it's a good measure of depression. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maxmaxmaxmax Posted May 6, 2014 Author Share Posted May 6, 2014 I thought Business Insider was a business magazine. Or am I thinking of something else? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts