dutchie Posted May 14, 2014 Share Posted May 14, 2014 My Testimony. A bit of backround I grew up in the Netherlands, in the Catholic Apostolic Church, wich originated in England, during the 19th century, since then it splitted into many different branches. I don´t want to be to technical, but I do want to give a impression of the beliefs that are held in the specific branch of church I attended to. (+/- 50 people) The end is coming soon God selected our church: He gave us the ability to speak in tongues The speaking in tongues is actually a person driven by the Holy Spirit, where the message is in de native language of the church (in contrast to speaking in tongues where there the messages lack any readily comprehended meaning At the age of 12, due to my fathers work we had to move, so we could not attend our orginal church, so we attended a fundamental christian church. (protestant) When I was 18 years old, I went to college in Belgium. In the next following years I went to a christian studentgroup (evangelical) and to a Angalic church (The Catholic apostolic church has a lot in common with the angalic church – It felt as if were at home at my orginal church) When I look back to the period before I went to college. Because I came in contact with a lot of different held beliefs, I was (luckily) never very conviced that one particular church was the ´right one´. For me, the limit was if you believed in the holy trinity, or not. In the years that I lived with my parents, I grew up in a Christian Home©, our lives were centered around our christian identity. But, when I read the stories of others, I can´t help but see that my family, as I compare it to your stories, were actually quite moderate. Although we saw the bible as factual /literal, the enviroment here in the Netherlands is totally different than in the US. You can see the Netherlands (almost) secular, I was the only kid in school who believed, who went to church. Starting to doubt Last year (while in collage) I realised that, altough I went to a christian student group, and went to church every Sunday, I was not a passionate christian. I believed because, yesterday I believed. It was a sort of ongoing thing. During this year a lot of questions popped into my head, from moral questions to contradictions in the bible, to questioning my relationship with God. I remebered that somewhere in the bible it is said that God hates it when you are lukewarm, in stead of hot or cold. I knew some christians who were so convinced, they celebrated their beliefs. I wanted that too. So I decided that for once I would figure it out Deconversion I saw that all my questions were all over the place. I realised that I had to attack this problem a bit more systematically. I realised the big question was: My faith is grounded in .... ? The bible Writers? Accuracy? Moral perspective? Literal – Metaphorically meaning? Personal relationship and prayer No feeling of presence of God I haver never saw any answered prayers that would not have happened in a world without a God (not the church, because I saw that it was a creation of humans) At this point I was searching particularly on the internet. Then I came a the video across from ´Evid3nc3´ https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLA0C3C1D163BE880A When I watched this video, all the puzzle pieces were falling into place. After watching this video I went on a quest, hungry for more information That went on for about 2 weeks.. Finally I could´t but see that every bit of my belief was shattered to pieces. I finally saw the bible in the wright perspective: a human made book, revised, edited. I prayed for the last time. Desperately for God to give me a sign that he was there. There was only radio silence. 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Moderator TheRedneckProfessor Posted May 14, 2014 Super Moderator Share Posted May 14, 2014 dutchie I am so proud of you for getting out of christianity at such a young age. My indoctrination (brainwashing) was so intense and thorough that I was not able to even ask the questions you asked until I was nearly thirty. You've done a good job and saved yourself a lot of heartache and misery. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adam5 Posted May 14, 2014 Share Posted May 14, 2014 Hi Dutchie, nicely written testimony. I agree that you have done well to figure it out at a young age. Growing up in secular country helps. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Moderator florduh Posted May 14, 2014 Super Moderator Share Posted May 14, 2014 Well done, dutchie, and welcome! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
♦ ficino ♦ Posted May 14, 2014 Share Posted May 14, 2014 Good video series. I like the speaker's way of pointing out that the concept of God is not single but a network, in which adjustments can be made for a while until too many pins are knocked out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dutchie Posted May 14, 2014 Author Share Posted May 14, 2014 Thanks everyone Yes i´m now thankful that I figured this out before getting married, getting children I think it has indeed a lot to do with the environment. It also has a lot to with that I put the most weight / value on to the accuracy / reliability of bible instead of emotions / beliefs surrounding my faith When I look back, I´m actually surprised that none of the secular kids never really questioned me. They just ´respected´ that I was a Christian. Just think If you believe in something else (non religious) craziness, that people would ask about it, and would be critical about what you would say. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator Margee Posted May 14, 2014 Moderator Share Posted May 14, 2014 Welcome to Ex-c dutchie! Thanks for sharing your story and I agree that you must be one smart cookie to figure this out at such a young age. Now you have your whole life ahead of you without all the stigma attached to pleasing some sky-daddy. You go sweetie!! *hug* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellinas Posted May 14, 2014 Share Posted May 14, 2014 Welcome. Seems you managed to retain a link to something very important which most Christians forget exists, and which allowed you to break free. It's called an open mind. Well done. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Moderator TheRedneckProfessor Posted May 14, 2014 Super Moderator Share Posted May 14, 2014 Welcome. Seems you managed to retain a link to something very important which most Christians forget exists, and which allowed you to break free. It's called an open mind. Well done. I've learned that one of the keys to a good life is "HOW": Honesty, Open-mindedness, and Willingness. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ousian Posted May 15, 2014 Share Posted May 15, 2014 Congratulations! As a fellow young ex-Christian, I can understand where you are coming from. That last sentence, about praying for a sign for God's existence and getting nothing in return, is especially relevant to me. I remember a time period of about a month where I was praying that God would give me assurance, and got absolutely nothing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Positivist Posted May 15, 2014 Share Posted May 15, 2014 Welcome out of the fold!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dutchie Posted May 15, 2014 Author Share Posted May 15, 2014 Thanks again, your are all to kind Welcome. Seems you managed to retain a link to something very important which most Christians forget exists, and which allowed you to break free. It's called an open mind. Well done. I've learned that one of the keys to a good life is "HOW": Honesty, Open-mindedness, and Willingness. I didn´t know that one, it´s nice! Congratulations! As a fellow young ex-Christian, I can understand where you are coming from. That last sentence, about praying for a sign for God's existence and getting nothing in return, is especially relevant to me. I remember a time period of about a month where I was praying that God would give me assurance, and got absolutely nothing. It´s was really a all or nothing deal. I mean, if God would excist he would that for me, at that moment, I had no reason to believe anymore. That he would not give his ´litle lamb´ a bit of reassurrence, its just -- yeah, the underlining of my conclusion that God cannot excist because of lack of evidence. Oh btw, I went to my christian student group yesterday. It was the last night of the student year, so saying goodbye. Of course there was the moment of prayer. Since my own last prayer I hadn´t prayed anymore. I was a bit stressed about it (first in a group together, then praying in groups of 2) What I realized is, that the feeling of togetherness was there, and it was nice. And the possibility (the prayer where i was with one person) to tell that person that I was happy to know him, that he was a good person, to give him reassurance for his exam study, was actually very nice! (when you say good things about a person, its a lot easier to do when you say it to ´God´ lol) I knew that it was for me a real goodbye, I knew that I would leave the studen group behind. It was a bit sad actually. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DoubtingNate Posted May 15, 2014 Share Posted May 15, 2014 I cried the first time I saw that video. I was already on the path, but that was the best explanation I've seen. Congrats on figuring this out and finding this place. This is an awesome place for conversation/reflection/goofing off/arguing with Christians and all kinds of stuff. I frequent the chat room at weird early morning hours (US time) so drop in and say hello if you're free! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Moderator TheRedneckProfessor Posted May 15, 2014 Super Moderator Share Posted May 15, 2014 I cried the first time I saw that video. I was already on the path, but that was the best explanation I've seen. I agree that Evid3nc3 put together a very powerful video series; however, prplfox's series touched me on a much deeper level. This may have been because his experiences were so similar to mine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dutchie Posted May 15, 2014 Author Share Posted May 15, 2014 I cried the first time I saw that video. I was already on the path, but that was the best explanation I've seen. I agree that Evid3nc3 put together a very powerful video series; however, prplfox's series touched me on a much deeper level. This may have been because his experiences were so similar to mine. I watched the prplfox series today. I was astonished at the dept of his feelings and experiences. I have never even came close to anything like that. I´m so sorry that you also have been through such a tough road. Those video´s inspire me to make also post a video series about my deconversion, but then in Dutch. Al tough the Netherlands is far more secular, there are still people who could be helped by video´s like Evid3nce and prpfos´x videos. I really want to give something back, and let people now that when they don´t believe anymore, that they are not alone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dutchie Posted May 15, 2014 Author Share Posted May 15, 2014 Ps, Double nate: thank you for your warm welcome! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dutchie Posted May 15, 2014 Author Share Posted May 15, 2014 I typed to fast, lol (sorry DoubtingNate ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Moderator TheRedneckProfessor Posted May 15, 2014 Super Moderator Share Posted May 15, 2014 I cried the first time I saw that video. I was already on the path, but that was the best explanation I've seen. I agree that Evid3nc3 put together a very powerful video series; however, prplfox's series touched me on a much deeper level. This may have been because his experiences were so similar to mine. I watched the prplfox series today. I was astonished at the dept of his feelings and experiences. I have never even came close to anything like that. I´m so sorry that you also have been through such a tough road. Those video´s inspire me to make also post a video series about my deconversion, but then in Dutch. Al tough the Netherlands is far more secular, there are still people who could be helped by video´s like Evid3nce and prpfos´x videos. I really want to give something back, and let people now that when they don´t believe anymore, that they are not alone. Dutchie, please let us know when your videos are done. I would love to watch them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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