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"No Good Deed Goes Unpunished"


Joyous1
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:vent: I have an old friend who has developed schizophrenia. For the past three years I have been trying to help her but she is stubbornly un-help-able. She was recently evicted from her apartment and left her cats behind. I called the apartment caretakers and offered to pick up the cats and take them to a shelter. The shelter couldn't take them without a release form, so I went over to the homeless shelter with a release form. She won't sign it, so I'm stuck with her two cats.

:banghead:

It's the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back. I'm done with trying to be "good." I will get a statement from the landlord saying this woman abandoned her cats and give I will give them over to the humane society. I will leave this woman in the homeless shelter and let them try to help her. I she ends up a bag lady on the street, oh well! :vtffani:

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You are probably doing the right thing... not because it will help her get straight, but perhaps it will help her see that she needs to stay on the medication. I am not sure how helpful a homeless shelter will be... they tend to be enablers of schizophrenics, but some cater to them. I things turn out okay for her and for you ... I know it must have been hard. Just remember that none of this is technically her fault right now... surely you have known her long enough to know that when she is being effectively treated, she is a different person.

 

You should have posted pics of the kitties while you still had them (or do you?). Are they cute?? ;) I humbly suggest taking them to a no-kill shelter if you have one in case she straightens up soon and wants them back. I would hate to be her... having the guts to get treated and better only to find out my friend inadvertently left my kitties for death at the "humane" society! :(

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I am not sure how helpful a homeless shelter will be... they tend to be enablers of schizophrenics, but some cater to them.

 

This shelter is specifically for mentally ill people in crisis. They will evaluate her over the next week and hopefully she will end up in a hospital.

You should have posted pics of the kitties while you still had them (or do you?). Are they cute?? ;)

yes, I do still have them. One is very emaciated and sickly, the other is a beautiful black girl with mysterious golden eyes.

I humbly suggest taking them to a no-kill shelter if you have one in case she straightens up soon and wants them back. I would hate to be her... having the guts to get treated and better only to find out my friend inadvertently left my kitties for death at the "humane" society! :(

 

Would you prefer to get better and find out your kitties had starved to death in your abandoned apartment? There are many no-kill shelters in the Twin Cities but they are all full to overflowing and don't even bother with a waiting list anymore. I can't bring them to a shelter anyway, as I am not the owner. I have to turn them over to animal control, so I doubt they will even make it to the humane society. A vet will hold them for 3 days and then put them down.

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SoulInCrisis..

 

I may not be the best large male furry backed human to tell one what to do with katz..

 

We have two of our own, and our houseguest has another pair in residence.

 

Cats that are suddenly stayed, sick and/or possibly carriers of diseases like feline lukovirus and feline AIDS do not need introduced into your home.

 

You simply do not know what your lady friend has done innoculation-wise to the katz.

 

There is no shortage of katz in shelters and in the entryways to damn near every large shopping center entryway in any place I've been.

 

If you don't have the place/time/care to put up the extras, it is time to let shelter have them.

 

kL

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You simply do not know what your lady friend has done innoculation-wise to the katz.

 

Oh, but I do know -- she has done NOTHING. The cats are NOT up to date with any vaccine. They hadn't even eaten for a week. They are now quarrantined in my empty dining room, and I can only hope my cat will not catch anything nasty from them. I am careful to wash my hands after handling them, and my cat is not allowed to mingle, I only hope that's enough.

 

In the meantime my dog is in the final stages of lupus, so he requires half a bag of subcutaneous saline daily in addition to antibiotics and liver enzymes. I think I am already doing my duty as a responsible pet owner, I am not able to take on another special needs animal.

 

Also found out today that my buyer lied about finances, so he cannot close on a mortgage. I will need to start showing my house again. The extraneous cats definitely have to go.

 

Oh, and to make the situation even more infuriating, her schizophrenia is all twisted up with her Chrisitanity. If I wasn't ready to chuck the whole faith mess before, I certainly am now.

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I've spent my life dealing with the antics of a schizophrenic mother and the antics of my borderline grandma and sister. It's no picnic. Most of the time you will feel as though your time spent trying to help would have been better served if you had just smacked yourself in the head with a baseball bat.

 

I'm not saying that those with schizophrenia are beyond help....

 

....Your friend needs to get back on her meds, and until she does so, you have little chance of helping her in any way.

 

Amen to all that. One of my sisters is schizophrenic and it continues to be an emotional and financial drain to our entire family. Her daughter has serious drug and alcohol problems, and her grandchildren have serious drug, booze and behavioral problems as well. Her great granddaughter was born with drugs in her bloodstream and had to be taken from her mother (my sister's granddaughter) and placed in permanent foster care. The list of woe goes on and on. :(

 

I've watched three generations of her offspring basically do everything wrong in life and whenever there's a glimmer of hope that someone might do something actually rational, it all goes to hell in a handbasket and someone starts doing meth, or crack, or booze, and usually hooks up with some white trash guy who starts beatin' on them. I can't tell you how often the cops have been involved with these people.

 

The pain of mental illness is one of those types of suffering that never goes away for family and friends of the sufferer. I really feel for both you, MadameM, and SoulinCrisis. One survival mode for us on the sidelines is to create very strict boundaries of what we tolerate and what we do not, and help them seek psychiatric help/medication at all times. Enabling them to create their own types of destruction is the worst thing, like giving them direct gifts of cash. They NEVER use it for food, believe me. Better to offer to help them get to the treatment center and connect w/ a good social worker.

 

And then there are times you just can't do a damned thing but feel the pain of watching people self destruct.

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Madame M and Gertrude, I'm sorry you have to go through these things too. The most frustrating thing about this woman is that she leaves herself wide open for any disaster or any predator or who wants to take advantage of her illness while maintaining strict and firm boundaries against anything or anyone who might actually help her. I've never seen anything like it.

 

The cat thing is a perfect example, she feels perfectly okay about abandoning the cats to starve or be put down by animal control (she believes God will magically take care of them) but refuses to sign a release that could save their lives (because the Humane society might euthanize them).

 

ggrrrrrr!

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I'm getting a chuckle over you calling Curtdude, Gertrude. ;)

 

 

:Doh: sorry Curtdude, time to clean my glasses.

 

My son has dubbed this woman Ms. Pac Man as she tends to gobble up all energy and resources within her reach. It is scary, she is like a black hole. You can't get near her without getting sucked in. And no matter what you are willing to give, she takes 2-3 times more than you offer. Every time!

 

I would have cut off contact a year ago when she lost her house, but I met her sister and felt so sorry for the poor woman. She moved to AZ in hopes of getting away from the craziness, but she keeps getting sucked back too. I hoped that we could team up and accomplish something, but I'm afraid Ms Pac Man is a lost cause.

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Gertrude: hehehehehe...I love it! I'm waiting for Ibrokefree or TexFreethinker to get a chuckle outta that one, too. :HaHa:

 

I hope it works out for the kitty-poohs and you Soulincrisis. As reflected in this thread, there's only so much you can do.

 

And of course, christianity ALWAYS gets in the middle of this, like there's some magic spell out there that'll cure everything in one smooth stroke. Hmmmm. <_< Yeah, we've heard that one before. Good ol' American Instant Gratification Impulse.

 

That's why the drug use gets so complicated: mentally ill folks (for good reason) try to escape their pain. I don't blame them, but I wish they could stay on The Good Stuff (antipsychotics, etc.) more and off The Bad Stuff.

 

And MadameM, you are so right on. My sister and her brood NEVER take sound advice. There's always someone out there who will glob on like a parasite and use them for another round of sex, or drugs, or free-loading.

 

The price my parents and siblings have paid is just enourmous, not just in money but in emotional pain. My mother just ages more when she hears "the latest"...drives me nuts.

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Soul,

 

I am so sorry you are tangled up in this mess. You seem like a kind, caring person that these type of people zero in on and use just because you are a kind and caring person.

 

Since she IS mentally ill, maybe you could have someone at the shelter where she is get her to sign the papers for her cats. Someone she doesn't know.

 

I know it seems terrible, but you HAVE done enough. You saved the kitty's from a horrible death by starvation and the worst case scenario for them is HUMANE euthanization. At least, they won't suffer anymore than they probably have been.

 

Taph

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I am not sure how helpful a homeless shelter will be... they tend to be enablers of schizophrenics, but some cater to them.

 

This shelter is specifically for mentally ill people in crisis. They will evaluate her over the next week and hopefully she will end up in a hospital.

You should have posted pics of the kitties while you still had them (or do you?). Are they cute?? ;)

yes, I do still have them. One is very emaciated and sickly, the other is a beautiful black girl with mysterious golden eyes.

I humbly suggest taking them to a no-kill shelter if you have one in case she straightens up soon and wants them back. I would hate to be her... having the guts to get treated and better only to find out my friend inadvertently left my kitties for death at the "humane" society! :(

 

Would you prefer to get better and find out your kitties had starved to death in your abandoned apartment? There are many no-kill shelters in the Twin Cities but they are all full to overflowing and don't even bother with a waiting list anymore. I can't bring them to a shelter anyway, as I am not the owner. I have to turn them over to animal control, so I doubt they will even make it to the humane society. A vet will hold them for 3 days and then put them down.

 

 

I see your point about the cats. But if they were not allowed outdoors, then the chances of them having something are slim, unless they were strays to begin with. At least they are getting some food from you! :) Better treatment than they have had in a while, skinny cats take more than a week to get THAT skinny... :( Poor kitties, and I hope your friend gets the help that she needs at that shelter. :(

 

Soul,

 

I am so sorry you are tangled up in this mess. You seem like a kind, caring person that these type of people zero in on and use just because you are a kind and caring person.

 

Since she IS mentally ill, maybe you could have someone at the shelter where she is get her to sign the papers for her cats. Someone she doesn't know.

 

I know it seems terrible, but you HAVE done enough. You saved the kitty's from a horrible death by starvation and the worst case scenario for them is HUMANE euthanization. At least, they won't suffer anymore than they probably have been.

 

Taph

 

I only said "humane" because the Humane Society around here has gotten bad press for not educating those responsible for the injections, and the kitties don't always die before being put into a trashbag. They then die of suffocation.

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I only said "humane" because the Humane Society around here has gotten bad press for not educating those responsible for the injections, and the kitties don't always die before being put into a trashbag. They then die of suffocation.

 

That's terrible! I actually made arrangements to drive to a humane society up in St. Cloud (100 miles north) because I know one of the foster moms there and she would have watched over them to make sure they got good care. I borrowed cat carriers from my vet, and she warned me to stay away from the metro shelters because they just have too many cats. The chances of any cat surviving there is prettly low.

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Soul,

 

I am so sorry you are tangled up in this mess. You seem like a kind, caring person that these type of people zero in on and use just because you are a kind and caring person.

 

Since she IS mentally ill, maybe you could have someone at the shelter where she is get her to sign the papers for her cats. Someone she doesn't know.

 

 

Thanks Taph, I did try to talk to the woman who runs the shelter but they can't do anything. They are frustrated enough just trying to get Ms Pac Man the help she needs. To quote the shelter manager "she doesn't seem to be aware of the gravity of her situation." She is acting as if she is at a spa retreat or something.

 

So, after work tomorrow I will drive back up to Ms Pac Man's old apartment and ask the caretaker to call the police. The police have the authority to pick up abandoned animals and bring them to a vet. I actually called the vet they use and explained the situation, she was very helpful and it sounds like she cares about the animals. She told me to call the community service officer at the police station and tell them what happened. They will pick up the cats and bring them over to the vet. The vet said I could call and check on them if I wanted. Nice lady.

 

So, I picked up a sixpack of St. Pauli Girl on the way home. I plan to make it magically disappear by midnight. Maybe I'll try posting on the intoxicated thread :beer:

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Open the door, put the cats outside, close the door.

 

Cats can take care of themselves.

 

 

I am afraid this is not true of most domestic cats. Hunting is instinct, eating what you catch has been shown to be a learned responce, usually learned from their mother. If they are house cats, born from a house cat they have no idea they are suppossed to eat what they catch, they are taught to eat what the "staff" provides. On top of that stray and feral cats are a nusence in all major cities in the US. They get into trash, they beg at doors, and if these kitties are not fixed they may very well make more feral cats.

 

House cats just tossed outdoors usally have three fates, the get hit by cars, they get eaten by wild animals, they starve. They are best taken to a shelter, my advice, next time, lie. It may be embarassing to say cats in that condition are yours, but if they are there is no need to have papers signed.

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Actually putting the cats outside would solve the problem. Purple is right about these cats being unable to care for themselves, but then I could call animal control and report them as strays.

 

I will bring them back to the apartment though. It's the best option from a liability perspective. Ms. Pac Man likes to sue people, If she ever gets well enough I have no doubt she would come after me for this. If I follow the letter of the law she can't do a thing.

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There's nothing wrong with helping people, as long as you keep the following two rules in mind:

  1. You can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped.

    It does no one any good to continue to help someone who squanders the help. This is especially a problem when trying to help a mentally ill person or an addict.


     

  2. You can't help someone else if you are dead, incapacitated, or exhausted.

    If you neglect yourself while caring for someone else you are not only selling yourself short, you are taking yourself to a point where you won't be able to take care of anyone, including yourself.


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Gertrude: hehehehehe...I love it! I'm waiting for Ibrokefree or TexFreethinker to get a chuckle outta that one, too. :HaHa:

 

 

Oh I did! I did! I chuckled up a storm!! :thanks:

 

Priceless, simply priceless, lord knows this thread needed a little levity. I am sorry that I have no advice to offer. I feel like I am watching a train wreck, and can’t turn away. :shrug:

 

IBF

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It's a miracle!

 

One of the no-kill shelters called back to tell me they found a foster home for Ms. Pac Man's cats.

 

I will be dropping them off Saturday. Since it is a private shelter no paperwork is required.

 

I got the call shortly after looking at the cute bunny photo on the Totally off topic thread.

 

Is this the first Miracle of the Cute Bunny?

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