Chez130 Posted May 23, 2014 Share Posted May 23, 2014 I've just recently deconverted. At first I felt relieved of a great deal of guilt I didn't know I was carrying around. Then, I felt sad about leaving. Now, I'm feeling irritated. What's up with this? What makes me so irritated is all the public praying I've been subjected to in just the last week. No, no one is praying for me. Coming out publicly is really not an option for me. My children go to a private school and all of the end-of-the year stuff has subjected me to a constant barrage of prayers. Went to graduation last night, and it was a god-fest. How of I stop being so irritated? I don't like being irritated all the time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sdelsolray Posted May 23, 2014 Share Posted May 23, 2014 Perhaps consider yourself an anthropologist. You can study how theists act in groups. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Moderator florduh Posted May 23, 2014 Super Moderator Share Posted May 23, 2014 Welcome! Sorry for your irritation. Religion is quite irritating to those who know better. Sorry, but if you're unwilling to accept whatever consequences and fallout there may be from exercising your right to an opinion that differs from the others, then you'll have to put up with the irritation and continue to pretend you're someone you're not. Sorry to be so blunt, but it's that simple. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FreeThinkerNZ Posted May 23, 2014 Share Posted May 23, 2014 Anger is a normal part of the process. There is much to be angry about. Express it in writing - this is a good place to vent. The anger will come and go, try to roll with it as best you can. It eventually fades for the most part. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chez130 Posted May 23, 2014 Author Share Posted May 23, 2014 Ha! That's a good way to look at it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FreeThinkerNZ Posted May 23, 2014 Share Posted May 23, 2014 Here's a thread I started when I was dealing with a wave of anger. Others shared their feelings too, it was quite helpful. http://www.ex-christian.net/topic/62023-reasons-for-being-angry-with-xianity/#.U3-IroGSyug Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chez130 Posted May 23, 2014 Author Share Posted May 23, 2014 Florduh, if it didn't affect my livelihood, I would be more than willing to "come out." My husband is self-employed, and coming out could hurt his business. We live in the Bible Belt. Thank you, Freethinker, I hope this will fade with time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Moderator florduh Posted May 23, 2014 Super Moderator Share Posted May 23, 2014 I have made the 'anthropologist' suggestion to minor children who have no choice but to go to their parents' church services and religious functions. Study their rituals, interactions and social structure. that's what I did as a child at my dad's church. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chez130 Posted May 23, 2014 Author Share Posted May 23, 2014 And thanks for the link Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chez130 Posted May 23, 2014 Author Share Posted May 23, 2014 I have made the 'anthropologist' suggestion to minor children who have no choice but to go to their parents' church services and religious functions. Study their rituals, interactions and social structure. that's what I did as a child at my dad's church. I suppose I could do this. I'll try it next time I have the opportunity. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellinas Posted May 23, 2014 Share Posted May 23, 2014 I find a cynical and slightly cruel sense of humour helps. Laugh at the daftness. Life is weird - enjoy the ride. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bfuddled Posted May 24, 2014 Share Posted May 24, 2014 I've been feeling the same way lately with being inundated with Christianity. I made a post about it awhile ago. People just assume you're okay with being prayed for or talking religiously about things/etc. I feel bad now for all the non-Christians that I probably offended when i was spouting crap off without thinking about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R. S. Martin Posted May 24, 2014 Share Posted May 24, 2014 The anthropologist approach even helped me stay in Christian a bit longer, though not as dedicated. It was interesting to see mature adults, retired professors even, play-acting the myth for Good Friday as though they believed it were real. Gives one a new appreciation of the power of myth and its ability to shape society. This was much clearer to me as an almost outsider, a valuable lesson. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slave2six Posted May 24, 2014 Share Posted May 24, 2014 I agree with Florduh. More often than not, when I see groups of people doing something inexplicable (praying, cheering for the Chargers, etc), I tend to think in terms of how weird these primates are. This has proven to be so successful for me that recently while my wife and I were shopping we saw a swarm of people coming out of the adjacent building. I was confused. I asked my wife what was up. "They're probably coming out of church." she said. My immediate thought was "Why would anyone do that? What a colossal waste of time." It wasn't judgmental, just genuine perplexity. It also helps to know you are not alone. A friend of mine lives in Mississippi and has a blog called Godless in Dixie.Some really good stuff there. Please just know that you are not alone and there are lots of atheists/agnostics in the Bible Belt who are feeling the same strain that you do. There's not shame in staying in. You have a lot of ignorance with which to contend. Not everyone is ready for that fight. Also, I would encourage you to feed your brain with good positive stuff. I find that Ted Talks help me in this regard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chez130 Posted May 25, 2014 Author Share Posted May 25, 2014 Thanks, everyone! I'm very happy to have found this group. At least I don't feel as alone anymore. My fanatically religious sister-in-law wants to get together Monday. I didn't have much patience for her before. It's going to be really hard now. She makes me crazy. I have a feeling living in the south is just going to be difficult for awhile. I did a lot of thinking today about other religions and how Christians think theirs is the only right one. Turns out, they are all wrong (at least, I think so. No offense to those who switched religions.) Thanks for the links, slave2six! I'll check those out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bfuddled Posted May 25, 2014 Share Posted May 25, 2014 Thanks, everyone! I'm very happy to have found this group. At least I don't feel as alone anymore. My fanatically religious sister-in-law wants to get together Monday. I didn't have much patience for her before. It's going to be really hard now. She makes me crazy. I have a feeling living in the south is just going to be difficult for awhile. I did a lot of thinking today about other religions and how Christians think theirs is the only right one. Turns out, they are all wrong (at least, I think so. No offense to those who switched religions.) Thanks for the links, slave2six! I'll check those out. My inlaws are over the top judgemental homophobic Christians and they drive me crazy too. The latest conversation was my brother in law commenting on how they have found a brain abnormality in gay men that is the same as the one in pedophiles.. which just PROVES that homosexuality is the same as pedophilia! I just leave the room or change the subject when they start to go on their rants. I'm finding it harder and harder to not interject, though. We'll see how long I can keep my mouth shut. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bambi Posted May 25, 2014 Share Posted May 25, 2014 That's funny, now suddenly gay people are "born that way". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slave2six Posted May 26, 2014 Share Posted May 26, 2014 Bambi - Let's say, for the sake of argument, that homosexuality is a choice. What is your objection? People are choosing who to love. The religious are choosing to hate those people for not choosing to love the same way they do. Who holds the moral high ground? The one who is choosing to love or the one who chooses to hate? Either way, I fail how to see how homosexuality is a threat to anyone who isn't homosexual. I'm not gay nor have I any inclination toward being gay. I don't feel the least bit threatened by someone who is. They are people, plain and simple. How anyone could possibly have a problem with someone who is homosexual completely escapes me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sdelsolray Posted May 26, 2014 Share Posted May 26, 2014 … The latest conversation was my brother in law commenting on how they have found a brain abnormality in gay men that is the same as the one in pedophiles.. which just PROVES that homosexuality is the same as pedophilia! I just leave the room or change the subject when they start to go on their rants. I'm finding it harder and harder to not interject, though. We'll see how long I can keep my mouth shut. Your brother-in-law lies, or is ignorantly spouting the lies of others. Instead of allowing it to stand, you should consider calling him out on the lies. Of course, that would require arming yourself with actual facts and peer reviewed scientific research first. That can involve quite a bit of work, but certainly not nearly as much work as the researchers who put it together in the first place. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bambi Posted May 26, 2014 Share Posted May 26, 2014 Bambi - Let's say, for the sake of argument, that homosexuality is a choice. What is your objection? People are choosing who to love. The religious are choosing to hate those people for not choosing to love the same way they do. Who holds the moral high ground? The one who is choosing to love or the one who chooses to hate? Either way, I fail how to see how homosexuality is a threat to anyone who isn't homosexual. I'm not gay nor have I any inclination toward being gay. I don't feel the least bit threatened by someone who is. They are people, plain and simple. How anyone could possibly have a problem with someone who is homosexual completely escapes me. No objection, I'm gay myself, I find it funny that a Christian is making a comparison to something extreme, after so many Christians deny completely that gay people might in fact be born that way. Doesn't surprise me though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slave2six Posted May 27, 2014 Share Posted May 27, 2014 Ah! I comprehend. I'm not surprised either. I have but recently fallen out of the "born that way" argument. It is genetic, I know, but if someone is going to argue "choice" then we should flip it back on them; why choose to hate? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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