Alyena Posted May 28, 2014 Share Posted May 28, 2014 Out of curiosity, how long did it take you to deconvert? Was it relatively quick, or a long, painful process? Did you ever go through a time in which you thought science and archaeology agreed with Christianity? If so, how did you learn otherwise? Did you do extensive research? Do you think Christianity is truly debunked, or is it only a matter of feeling and opinion with evidence on both sides? Also, did you want to leave Christianity, or did you actually enjoy being a Christian and only stopped believing because the evidence indicated that your beliefs were false? Did you leave Christianity for mostly emotional, or intellectual reasons? Or both? Just wanted to hear your thoughts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orbit Posted May 28, 2014 Share Posted May 28, 2014 I realized recently that for most of my Christian life if I had been questioned about what I actually believed, I would have been found a heretic. The good thing about liberal Christianity is that you can cherry pick the Bible, and I did--until there was nothing left but Proverbs, Eccelsiastes, and the words of Jesus. I realized that I indeed rejected 95% of the Bible. I had never believed that it was literally true--my denomination wasn't about that--but it took a long time to realize that I had indeed, completely checked out of Christendom. I checked out because it didn't make sense, and the dogma was not reasonable. It wasn't a de-conversion so much as a realization that I already knew-- that I didn't believe the Bible was to be taken literally, and any dogma based on the Bible went out the window, too. I would hear "christians" on TV and think "I never believed that". The only reason I went so long an undetected heretic is that talking about religion is not a priority in my family, and I wasn't an active churchgoer. After reading the stories of people who are facing fundamentalist families and communities, I think I have it pretty darn easy. I have the usual amount of existential nausea on the subject. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
♦ Fuego ♦ Posted May 28, 2014 Share Posted May 28, 2014 I followed whole-heartedly for over 30 years. After catching a trusted pastor lying about miracles (I had been promoting him around the world as an example of the reality of God working through believers), I started asking why. Why did he have to lie if what he preached was true? Everything he preached was biblical, but it wasn't working. We had been seeking the presence of God himself and instead got nothing but lies. After seeking God and waiting for a response and hearing nothing at all, other questions I had buried over the years began popping up: Why was God such a jerk to people? Why plant a tree that you don't want them to eat from in the same garden where they live? And seriously, a talking snake and magic fruit? And if only one snake did this, why are all snakes cursed? The New Testament calls the snake the devil, but the Old Testament simply calls it a snake and gives an Aesop's Fables explanation for why their tongues flit all the time. Why does a god of any kind want blood? How can there be a price for forgiveness, since that makes it not forgiveness? Why is there no hell in the Old Testament? It is a foundational doctrine of Christianity that Jesus saves us from damnation, and those that reject him are damned. If Christianity is the fulfillment of the Jewish faith, and the Jews don't have damnation, where the hell did Hell come from? If the Holy Spirit was given to the church, why is there so much division and widely divergent doctrines in the churches? Even the Apostles drew lots instead of being spoken to by the Holy Spirit. Why? Why do people in cults believe such whacky stuff? The thought drifted into my mind then that I had believed some pretty wacky stuff. Then I said, "I wonder what else I've believed that's a lie". I felt myself squirm inwardly, but there was no turning back. I began searching for answers, found none. I went searching for ex-Christian and found this website and forums. All in all, it was about a year after I caught my old friend lying about miracles to my deconversion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
milesaway Posted May 28, 2014 Share Posted May 28, 2014 My deconversion started happening during my last year of church hopping. Some things happened, and looking back, I should have left when the worst of it happened and the few I told about it threw me under the bus and let the guy responsible get away with it. There were more incidents after that with others there, some were minor and others were more moderate. I had it coming at me everywhere I looked, and they cranked it up to 11 before they started to back away from me and ignore me altogether. 9 months later I was gone from there. So yeah, I left primarily due to emotional reasons, but the intellectual reasons started showing up in the last few months I was there and getting ready to join that hellhole of a church. One of the deacons was talking to us newcomers one evening, and he told us that other roads lead to god, not just them. By that point, my faith was on life support. For some reason that stuck with me, and not long after that, I left. It was now or never, and I had a choice to make. Which door was it gonna be? Do I pick my integrity, friends, family and my future family? Or do I superstition and a road to nowhere? I chose my integrity, and I never looked back. If I had joined that church, I don't think I could have lived with myself knowing any formal involvement with them would be an endorsement of all the horrible things they've done. I couldn't go back even if I wanted to. Not even to a different church of a different denomination. I've learned some hard and ugly lessons during my rodeo with religion, and I won't ever forget them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DoubtingNate Posted May 28, 2014 Share Posted May 28, 2014 The heart takes longer to catch up to the mind. Intellectually it was pretty straightforward; just a matter of reading and thinking and talking to other non-believers. Emotionally it is more challenging because of my upbringing, and the fact that I am close to my parents who are pretty devout. Thoughts of hell still haunt me, even though I know better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rach Posted May 28, 2014 Share Posted May 28, 2014 Deconversion came about quickly after my Christianity had reached a mentally insane fervor. I bunt out so fast after that. I never enjoyed Christianity at all, 99 percent of it never appealed to me in any way. So it was only about hellfire for me. Hence the fervor of needing to save my soul and everyone else's. The burn out came when not only I was emotionally completely spent and clinically depressed but also had put scripture after scripture to the test and life experience and reality was kicking in, telling me very plainly that this religion does not add up. Christian fervor lasted about five years after which it imploded and I spent a year in a state of shock deconverting. It was mindboggling to me because Christianity was the only reality I had ever been taught. I had to come to see the world and my life in a completely different way. So deconverting was shocking and very scary, confusing and yet I was so relieved because this was a religion I never wanted anything to do with. And now that my life experience had proved Christianity to be an evil thing, I was able to give myself permission to purge it from my life. I am still working on my deconversion. I am surrounded by God and Jesus stuff 24/7. It's my family's obsession. There's always an open bible on the table. I always have to fight that "God's calling you back" stuff. But really I don't give a damn if God is calling me or not. I have said no to him and will be saying no for the rest of my life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slave2six Posted May 28, 2014 Share Posted May 28, 2014 You're a Christian so I am immediately suspicious of your OP. What is your intent in asking? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roz Posted May 28, 2014 Share Posted May 28, 2014 Out of curiosity, how long did it take you to deconvert? Years for me, years of conflict Was it relatively quick, or a long, painful process? Long and painful Did you ever go through a time in which you thought science and archaeology agreed with Christianity? I was one of those fundies who truly believed that 'god magic' can be waved over any scientific discrepancy. Noah's Ark? Magic. God stopping Earth's rotation? Magic. etc. If so, how did you learn otherwise? Lev. 25. Read the entire chapter. Did you do extensive research? Oh yes. After Lev 25, I re-read the entire OT, read the biblical commentaries on them, began to search for atheist and skeptic views just to see the other side. Led me to The Atheist Experience, the God Delusion, Lawrence Krauss' Universe from Nothing, etc. I'm a layman, I'm no scientist, but Lev. 25 is what started it all. Do you think Christianity is truly debunked, or is it only a matter of feeling and opinion with evidence on both sides? Truly debunked, and truly evil Also, did you want to leave Christianity, or did you actually enjoy being a Christian and only stopped believing because the evidence indicated that your beliefs were false? Did you leave Christianity for mostly emotional, or intellectual reasons? Or both? I didn't, but after reading Jesus' orders concerning slavery (Lev 25, he and his dad are one, remember?) it was all I could take. Just wanted to hear your thoughts. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ravenstar Posted May 28, 2014 Share Posted May 28, 2014 Many, many years…almost an entire lifetime of searching and seeking. It's been a long, strange road and I have been down many of the side streets as well. I sought truth from a very early age. I am allergic to dishonesty. Along the way I came across many, many forms of christianity, and other spiritualities, so many that it was impossible not to see both the similarities and the disparities - to recognize patterns and the foundations of mythology in all belief systems. In result I came to understand the nature of this desire for the spiritual in humans, and the extremely ancient need to create stories to make sense of our world and society, to protect ourselves from the very real dangers of life and the spectre of death that shadows us from the beginning of reason. Our blessing and curse is self-awareness… this leaves us in a psychological state of near panic at a very instinctual level, yet we have the capacity to think abstractly, to imagine and project our experience into the future, not just as individuals but as a species. Sometimes I wonder if homo sapiens is entirely sane, as a species… other times I'm convinced we are not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
milesaway Posted May 28, 2014 Share Posted May 28, 2014 You're a Christian so I am immediately suspicious of your OP. What is your intent in asking? This. OP, I'd like to know your intentions too, if for no other reason than to clear the air. I hate to be a suspicious Aloysius here, but a lot of us have come from unhealthy (if not outright abusive) situations within christendom. Because of this, we've learned to tread lightly around people who identify as xtians, whether they're formally affiliated or self-identified. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Moderator buffettphan Posted May 28, 2014 Super Moderator Share Posted May 28, 2014 Moved this thread, which was created by a Christian, out of the Rants Section and into the Lion's Den. Have fun. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Geezer Posted May 28, 2014 Share Posted May 28, 2014 My decision to leave religion was easy, but the path that lead to that decision took years of study and research. The entire process, beginning with the recognition that Christianity and the bible is flawed, combined with the study and research of religion in general and Christianity in particular, took about ten years. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
decafaholic Posted May 28, 2014 Share Posted May 28, 2014 My deconversion process from rabid Christian to agnostic took about a year. From there I eventually became an atheist, but the initial losing faith in god took a year. That was eight years ago and it is still the hardest thing I have ever been through. It was harder than rebuilding my life after an arsonist burned down my apartment building in the middle of the night (that was last year). It was harder than ending a 3-year relationship with a guy I thought I was going to marry. It was worse than being told by my doctor I had an STD. Someday I may endure something that is comparatively worse than losing my faith, but I haven't yet. But having said that, humans are very good at adapting. None of the difficult situations I described have ruined my life because I didn't let them. I have a great life. I LOVE being an atheist! I hated it for a while and I missed faith terribly, but I've gotten past that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neverlandrut Posted May 28, 2014 Share Posted May 28, 2014 I did not want to deconvert. I was happy as a Christian for most of the duration. Over the past several years, I had more and more problems with fundamentalist's stances on many doctrinal and political issues. I saw their approach as militaristic, unloving, hard headed, and down right mean in some cases. I slowly morphed into a liberal Christian. The nail in the coffin was an intellectual one. I watched a documentary that pointed out tones of contradictions in the bible. Many of them I had seen before but either ignored them, or relied on apologetic explanations to resolve the conflict. I began doing serious research into these contradictions to try and confirm my faith and found many more that I just couldn't reconcile. Apologists have good hypotheses (many of them are unproven or unfounded) for many of them, but there are a good number of them that apologists and scholars admit are due to copying errors. That was the first attentions getter for me. Copying ERRORS??!! I thought the bible was the INFALLIBLE, INERRANT word of almighty God! I had always believed that the original manuscripts were inspired by god and without error (The fact is that we don't have the originals to verify this). But then it dawned on me! If the bible is the primary way god speaks to us and he thought it so important to maintain accuracy in the originals, why did he not find it important to maintain accuracy in the subsequent transcriptions and translations? Why did he inspire the original authors and not the subsequent transcribers and translators? Why allow any degree of error if us believing it is so important. I think an all powerful, all knowing god can do better. There are many other textual, moral, and historical contradictions in the bible that are interesting. Once the bible lost its credibility with me, everything else fell apart. The bible had been the foundation of my beliefs. I finally realized that even if the bible was internally consistent and contained no errors, that still wouldn't prove that its supernatural claims are true. No amount of text can even begin to do so. After that, I turned to logic to prove to myself the there was, at least, some kind of god. Big fail there! I found many more logical and philosophical reasons not to believe. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neverlandrut Posted May 28, 2014 Share Posted May 28, 2014 My deconversion was also NOT a decision. That's such a bad misconception that Christians have about us. Once the bible fell apart, I realized that I COULD NOT (not would not, but could not) believe it anymore. There was never a point when I "decided" to stop believing and "become" an atheist. I literally woke up one day, thinking about it, and realized that I was already there. Sometimes I don't like the word "atheist" because of the negative stigma it carries. I'm not ashamed of the word. as far as "atheist" being defined as a person who does not believe in god(s), that is what I am. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Moderator florduh Posted May 28, 2014 Super Moderator Share Posted May 28, 2014 My story is similar to that of Geezer: My decision to leave religion was easy, but the path that lead to that decision took years of study and research. I was actually studying Revelation at Moody when the final realization hit me. Once I accepted the fact that I had been duped, misled, or had been fooling myself I turned away and never looked back. Yeah, daily life became a bit different for a while, but no big deal. I always had some friends outside of church and I made some new friends post-deconversion. No regrets about leaving it all behind, some regret for being that stupid in the first place. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
◊ crazyguy123 ◊ Posted May 28, 2014 Share Posted May 28, 2014 Where did this idea that the creator of this thread being a Christian come from? Based on what I've seen on her profile, she hasn't figured out what she believes yet. Did she just suddenly have a revelation and realize that Jesus is the son of God and is now certain? I'm confused here... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alyena Posted May 28, 2014 Author Share Posted May 28, 2014 You're a Christian so I am immediately suspicious of your OP. What is your intent in asking? This. OP, I'd like to know your intentions too, if for no other reason than to clear the air. I hate to be a suspicious Aloysius here, but a lot of us have come from unhealthy (if not outright abusive) situations within christendom. Because of this, we've learned to tread lightly around people who identify as xtians, whether they're formally affiliated or self-identified. Moved this thread, which was created by a Christian, out of the Rants Section and into the Lion's Den. Have fun. You're a Christian so I am immediately suspicious of your OP. What is your intent in asking? Listen guys. My info said "Still have any Gods? If so, who or what?: The biblical God of Christianity, Jesus (maybe)". I would like to emphasize the "maybe". I didn't mean to come off like I was trying to start any arguments. In fact, quite the opposite. I've had lots of doubts about Christianity for quite a while now, and that is why I joined this site. I posted this topic because I wanted to know what others' experiences with deconversion were like and how they stopped believing. I have loads of cognitive dissonance, and can understand both atheism and belief in Christianity. I didn't come here to try to convert anyone. No, in fact, I came here with hopes to discover more evidence that opposes Christianity, as my friends and family all believe that the evidence is in favor of Christianity. The previous topic that I posted better explains where I stand with Christianity. I'm now changing my info to say "Still have any Gods? If so, who or what?: I don't know", because I honestly don't know what to believe, and I don't want to give any negative or false impressions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
◊ crazyguy123 ◊ Posted May 28, 2014 Share Posted May 28, 2014 Listen guys. My info said "Still have any Gods? If so, who or what?: The biblical God of Christianity, Jesus (maybe)". I would like to emphasize the "maybe". I didn't mean to come off like I was trying to start any arguments. In fact, quite the opposite. I've had lots of doubts about Christianity for quite a while now, and that is why I joined this site. I posted this topic because I wanted to know what others' experiences with deconversion were like and how they stopped believing. I have loads of cognitive dissonance, and can understand both atheism and belief in Christianity. I didn't come here to try to convert anyone. No, in fact, I came here with hopes to discover more evidence that opposes Christianity, as my friends and family all believe that the evidence is in favor of Christianity. The previous topic that I posted better explains where I stand with Christianity. I'm now changing my info to say "Still have any Gods? If so, who or what?: I don't know", because I honestly don't know what to believe, and I don't want to give any negative or false impressions. Ah, this could explain my confusion. You must've just changed your answer to the question, "Still have any Gods? If so, who or what?" Alyena? I never did know what the original answer was, but now I understand why people were thinking you were a Christian still. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alyena Posted May 28, 2014 Author Share Posted May 28, 2014 Listen guys. My info said "Still have any Gods? If so, who or what?: The biblical God of Christianity, Jesus (maybe)". I would like to emphasize the "maybe". I didn't mean to come off like I was trying to start any arguments. In fact, quite the opposite. I've had lots of doubts about Christianity for quite a while now, and that is why I joined this site. I posted this topic because I wanted to know what others' experiences with deconversion were like and how they stopped believing. I have loads of cognitive dissonance, and can understand both atheism and belief in Christianity. I didn't come here to try to convert anyone. No, in fact, I came here with hopes to discover more evidence that opposes Christianity, as my friends and family all believe that the evidence is in favor of Christianity. The previous topic that I posted better explains where I stand with Christianity. I'm now changing my info to say "Still have any Gods? If so, who or what?: I don't know", because I honestly don't know what to believe, and I don't want to give any negative or false impressions. Ah, this could explain my confusion. You must've just changed your answer to the question, "Still have any Gods? If so, who or what?" Alyena? I never did know what the original answer was, but now I understand why people were thinking you were a Christian still. Yeah, I just changed it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
par4dcourse Posted May 28, 2014 Share Posted May 28, 2014 I had it easy. Left early (18) and never looked back. Looked at all the popular isms: deism, pantheism, buddhism, but they all seemed a bit lame to me and atheism by far made the most logical sense, so here I is! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Moderator buffettphan Posted May 29, 2014 Super Moderator Share Posted May 29, 2014 You're a Christian so I am immediately suspicious of your OP. What is your intent in asking? This. OP, I'd like to know your intentions too, if for no other reason than to clear the air. I hate to be a suspicious Aloysius here, but a lot of us have come from unhealthy (if not outright abusive) situations within christendom. Because of this, we've learned to tread lightly around people who identify as xtians, whether they're formally affiliated or self-identified. Moved this thread, which was created by a Christian, out of the Rants Section and into the Lion's Den. Have fun. You're a Christian so I am immediately suspicious of your OP. What is your intent in asking? Listen guys. My info said "Still have any Gods? If so, who or what?: The biblical God of Christianity, Jesus (maybe)". I would like to emphasize the "maybe". I didn't mean to come off like I was trying to start any arguments. In fact, quite the opposite. I've had lots of doubts about Christianity for quite a while now, and that is why I joined this site. I posted this topic because I wanted to know what others' experiences with deconversion were like and how they stopped believing. I have loads of cognitive dissonance, and can understand both atheism and belief in Christianity. I didn't come here to try to convert anyone. No, in fact, I came here with hopes to discover more evidence that opposes Christianity, as my friends and family all believe that the evidence is in favor of Christianity. The previous topic that I posted better explains where I stand with Christianity. I'm now changing my info to say "Still have any Gods? If so, who or what?: I don't know", because I honestly don't know what to believe, and I don't want to give any negative or false impressions. Thanks for making the clarification, Alyena. And welcome to Ex-C! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amateur Posted May 29, 2014 Share Posted May 29, 2014 I had it very easy, so easy in fact that it took me a long time! I never had family or friends that bugged me about religion. My parents were agnostics, I think, and my grandparents weren't serious about religion at all as far as I knew but they all died when I was very young. No extended family close to us, and aunts and uncles began dying when I was pretty young and they're all gone now. I went to a very laid-back church as a kid, so had nothing to rebel against. I actually became born again, on my own, in my early teens, for personal reasons. I had always had questions about the bible, but chose to believe the happy Jesus stuff as a young teen and it got me through some hard times. No complaints. Then I started questioning again as stories in the bible were so strange and obviously couldn't be true (900 year old people? a world wide flood when there are a million types of beetles alone, let alone all the huge animals? etc). I spent a good decade listening to sermons and mentally disagreeing. Joined another laid-back church after I was married the first time and I loved teaching the 4 year old sunday school -- I loved hanging out with the 4 year olds! They are so cute!!! And I got to return them to their parents after an hour, which was just the perfect amount of time to spend with that much unbottled energy! Spent most of those couple decades as an agnostic that went to church and mentally enjoyed rolling my eyes at the sermons. Eventually it got annoying. I really couldn't believe any of it after all that time, so it became pointless. Then we got divorced and life got hectic with needing a job quickly and I was working on Sundays, then we got a bit ostracized in the church being divorced and all, so we quit going and that pretty much was it with attending a laid-back church out of usually pleasant habit. Became an atheist completely after reading a book by Julian Jaynes, which explained to my satisfaction how religions had come about. I finally felt like I had some logical answers to questions I had had since I was a kid. I was so tired of the non-answers from church -- "It just seems impossible, but god can do anything," "context," "you can't understand without the holy spirit guiding you," "just have faith." Those aren't answers. I like the actual answers I received from the book, and from other reading, and from being on this site. I have no interest in attending any church again because I wouldn't even enjoy the mental eye-rolling any more. I never had anything horrible laid on me like threats of hell or demons (never had an even vague belief in demons, I knew from a young age it was mental illness they were talking about in the bible), but after reading things on this site I find that type of focus on a cruel religion to be very awful, and it makes me leery now of even the laid-back church. I feel a bit bad that I even gently indoctrinated the 4 year olds in my care, but I have to say I was pretty laid-back and we spent a lot of time having fun and having snack time. But I have no interest in ever going back. I had no issues with jumping around from agnostic to born again to agnostic to atheist since nobody in my family actually cared. After reading different stories on this site I realize how lucky I really was. My family tends to die pretty young, both parents have been gone a while now, too, but even when my mom died when I was 18, I remember thinking, "I would rather have had her for a mom for 18 years than any other mother for 40 years." They were very nice people. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator TrueFreedom Posted May 29, 2014 Moderator Share Posted May 29, 2014 Mine was extremely difficult and took years. By the time that I was ready to honestly consider that Christianity and the God(s) of scripture might be completely bogus I had dedicated over thirty years to it and had responsibility for a family completely entrenched in evangelical Christian fundamentalism. I was once a young earth creationist. It took extensive study, which I felt that I should have learned at a much earlier age, to come to understand the facts about evolution and the age of the earth and the cosmos. It took studying history and bible from a secular perspective to see how wrong church teachings were. I left Christianity for intellectual reasons. I simply could no longer believe any of it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deva Posted May 29, 2014 Share Posted May 29, 2014 There were many reasons why I left Christianity. I was raised in a fundamentalist variety that held that the rapture and end times were coming shortly. They also rejected evolution. This type of Christian view is incompatible with the discoveries of modern science. As I got older, the less sense it made. I never liked the old testament, it didn't seem too compatible with the New. I think the final straw was studying church history and finding out how it all really originated. It is quite traumatic to realize that the world view of the family who raised you is wrong. You cannot make sense of the world at all for a very long time and have to start from scratch and cobble one together that does make sense. It is difficult. Trying to go for a liberal version of Christianity was something I thought would work for awhile but did not because I felt they were not serious. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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