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Feeling Disconnected


darwinfish
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I think I'm feeling more and more isolated everyday. I don't have groups to connect with. I work odd hours and meet up groups tend to meet during the week in the evening. I don't think I know how to connect with anyone these days. I only know Christians, and obviously they think I'm an idiot. I feel like my isolation is getting more and more constrictive. There aren't many options online. Real life is limited. What else is there to do? 

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I know it's hard, I'm in a similar situation and live in a small town where I don't know many people outside xianity.

 

Are there activities you can join that aren't necessarily atheist/secular in focus, hobby type activities where (hopefully) people don't talk about religion?

 

Sorry I don't have any magic answers.  But I can empathise.

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Howdie,

 

It is my ambition to hopefully get our first Ex-Christian conference going and then hopefully after that start some sort of weekly or bi-monthly conference in smaller groups (Based on Geographical Regon) however everyone is free to join whatever group its just for timezones having seperate groups would help some.

 

This would bring more of a community to people and to allow us to express our worries - Some places do not have Athiest Groups and if they do they are too far away - So all we have is this forum.

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Maybe you shouldn't put emphasis on meetup groups. Just try to relate to regular people you come in contact with. You don't need a prefab group of people who think just as you do; that would be boring anyway. Friendships can be found among coworkers, hairdressers, barbers, waiters, waitresses, cashiers, store clerks, customers, anyone you deal with on a regular basis. Friendship doesn't hinge upon religious beliefs; I get along well with several Christians, Jews, New Age Woo People and even Scientologists.

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Florduh's right.  Are there no people around you who are not out to talk religion with every waking breath?

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Howdie,

 

It is my ambition to hopefully get our first Ex-Christian conference going and then hopefully after that start some sort of weekly or bi-monthly conference in smaller groups (Based on Geographical Regon) however everyone is free to join whatever group its just for timezones having seperate groups would help some.

 

This would bring more of a community to people and to allow us to express our worries - Some places do not have Athiest Groups and if they do they are too far away - So all we have is this forum.

I wish you the best of luck. Keep us informed. I really think the isolation is the worst part of losing your faith. 

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Maybe you shouldn't put emphasis on meetup groups. Just try to relate to regular people you come in contact with. You don't need a prefab group of people who think just as you do; that would be boring anyway. Friendships can be found among coworkers, hairdressers, barbers, waiters, waitresses, cashiers, store clerks, customers, anyone you deal with on a regular basis. Friendship doesn't hinge upon religious beliefs; I get along well with several Christians, Jews, New Age Woo People and even Scientologists.

I totally agree. There is way more to talk about then just religion. And, I have tried to connect with others. But, I still feel like I'm being forced to hide my true thoughts on subjects of gay rights, religion, or superstitions. And, when I generally think of things from a skeptical perspective, I realize pretty quickly, I'm the only one in the group looking at these things in that way. It just makes me feel like an outsider when I'm sitting with a group of people and someone is telling me how God blessed them that day, and I'm not free to share my thoughts on those topics without getting a lot of friction. So, that's why I want to connect with others that are at the very least skeptical. 

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I agree with florduh. Try to take a real interest in the people you run across everyday at work and elsewhere. I believe there are many people everywhere who want and need companionship. Good luck and don't give up.  bill

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The most important thing for you to do is to learn how to be happy by yourself. I'm not suggesting that you become a hermit or eschew intimate relationships, but approaching life with the intention of cultivating friendships at every turn can be overwhelming and counterproductive.

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I think I'm feeling more and more isolated everyday. I don't have groups to connect with. I work odd hours and meet up groups tend to meet during the week in the evening. I don't think I know how to connect with anyone these days. I only know Christians, and obviously they think I'm an idiot. I feel like my isolation is getting more and more constrictive. There aren't many options online. Real life is limited. What else is there to do? 

If you drink beer, the neighborhood bar on a weeknight is the answer. Not the hipster bar, the neighborhood bar.

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I think I'm feeling more and more isolated everyday. I don't have groups to connect with. I work odd hours and meet up groups tend to meet during the week in the evening. I don't think I know how to connect with anyone these days. I only know Christians, and obviously they think I'm an idiot. I feel like my isolation is getting more and more constrictive. There aren't many options online. Real life is limited. What else is there to do?

 

If you drink beer, the neighborhood bar on a weeknight is the answer. Not the hipster bar, the neighborhood bar.

 

Quite a good suggestion. I spent months writing my PhD thesis at a bar, and by the end of it I was on a first name basis with most of the staff and regulars. Alcohol (in moderation of course) is a most effective glue for bringing people together.

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I think I'm feeling more and more isolated everyday. I don't have groups to connect with. I work odd hours and meet up groups tend to meet during the week in the evening. I don't think I know how to connect with anyone these days. I only know Christians, and obviously they think I'm an idiot. I feel like my isolation is getting more and more constrictive. There aren't many options online. Real life is limited. What else is there to do?

If you drink beer, the neighborhood bar on a weeknight is the answer. Not the hipster bar, the neighborhood bar.

 

Quite a good suggestion. I spent months writing my PhD thesis at a bar, and by the end of it I was on a first name basis with most of the staff and regulars. Alcohol (in moderation of course) is a most effective glue for bringing people together.

 

Well, that's not a bad suggestion. I can try to find some local pubs that might be a good place to meet others. I tend to brew beer at home. I tried connecting with local homebrewers, but the group I hooked up with disbanded fairly quickly. But, maybe I can look for other brewers like myself. At least that's a start. I don't know. Isolation sucks, and hanging out with too many fundies seems to make it worse.

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I think I'm feeling more and more isolated everyday. I don't have groups to connect with. I work odd hours and meet up groups tend to meet during the week in the evening. I don't think I know how to connect with anyone these days. I only know Christians, and obviously they think I'm an idiot. I feel like my isolation is getting more and more constrictive. There aren't many options online. Real life is limited. What else is there to do?

If you drink beer, the neighborhood bar on a weeknight is the answer. Not the hipster bar, the neighborhood bar.

 

Quite a good suggestion. I spent months writing my PhD thesis at a bar, and by the end of it I was on a first name basis with most of the staff and regulars. Alcohol (in moderation of course) is a most effective glue for bringing people together.

 

Well, that's not a bad suggestion. I can try to find some local pubs that might be a good place to meet others. I tend to brew beer at home. I tried connecting with local homebrewers, but the group I hooked up with disbanded fairly quickly. But, maybe I can look for other brewers like myself. At least that's a start. I don't know. Isolation sucks, and hanging out with too many fundies seems to make it worse.

 

I also brew my own beer and my efforts to connect with other local homebrewers have been less than satisfactory as most of them are young hipster types who are far too opinionated.  I've noticed an increased desire to connect with people since moving off the farm into a small town, but due to a little light-duty social awkwardness, it's hard for me also.  My wife has even suggested we go to church to find people to be friends with; thank Thor I work on Sundays!  Relax, have a home brew.

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