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Despite All Evidence, It Feels To Real!


Ranger26
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Guys, after my de-conversiion, and going back to church in 2012, i cannot let go of a belief in  Christianity anymore. Despite how much time i spend here, how much time i think that it cannot be true, etc. etc, deep in my heart something feels right about being a Christian (while many things feel wrong). I had a re-conversion experience that i have posted on this site before, and despite all your helpful suggestions and comments, i cannot be convinced in my mind that it is okay to be a non-Christian. However, if I truly believe that Christianity is true i get depressed as i think it is a horrible belief system if you trully think about it.

So i am stuck in a limbo...and don't know how to move on. It's been 2.5 years and I can't decide on which camp i belong too. I am so tired of this....

 

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I don't care if you are a Christian.  Just don't hurt anybody with it.  Don't be the kind of Christian that shames people or threatens them with hell.  Don't indoctrinate children.  Be a good person and you will be fine.  

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Take your time.  Read as much as you can about xianity, pro and con.  

 

Be gentle with yourself.

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If Christianity makes sense to you, go with it. If it doesn't make sense but there is still an attraction, realize it's the brainwashing talking. 

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I'm with MM on this one, in that if you do decide to go back to christianity, be one of the christians that does not try to indoctrinate children.

 

As far as 'still feeling it,' there are deconverts from all sorts of christian denominations, each with different dogmas.  There are deconverts from other monotheistic religions like Islam and Judaism.  Still, there are other deconverts from polytheistic religions.

 

All of these converts at some point feel the draw of their old way of life back.  Ask yourself, is this really some supernatural entity wanting me back to the true way, or is it the same reaction that other people feel when breaking away from religious indoctrination.

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i wish i could be where i was 2.5 years ago and not be a christian, but i feel like i had some experiences that i can't explain away. however, i just can't accept the bible and was it being preached. i don't know what it makes me. i guess i am in betweeen....i hate this guys.

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plus, if i ever have children, i don't want them to go what i went through with God and Christianity...again, what kind of Christian does it make it? :S

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...it is a horrible belief system if you trully think about it.

 

Christians overlook that fact every day. Can you? Can you NOT think?

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i can't florduh...dude i wish i could. i know i am going back and forth on this forum. you guys must be tired of me by now....

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shit brother, if i could be as convinced when i left the church 3 years ago i would be a happy camper. Dons 't think i agree with much of the Bible or the church's teachings, but i just can't escape my feelings and "God's confirmation and presence"...despite knowing how flimsy of an argument that is.

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I wish you the best man.  And stop it, for me at least you're welcome at any time here in ex-c.  Hell this place was created for us deconverts (thanks mod team!).

 

When I was deconverting I had the nagging draws to come back to the fold as well.  "Just be with jesus, ever loving jesus."

I honestly started refuting that feeling with the bible.

 

I'm a descendant of African slaves.

You know those verses that say "I and my father are one?"  I read and memorized Lev. 25, the main slavery chapter.  It clearly documented that non-hebrews were property, lifetime property.  Hebrew slaves were 'servants' who were to be let go at Jubilee, and were not to be treated harshly.

 

If jesus and his dad are one, he must've taken part in this order for the Israelites.  

 

That voice in my head had no answers when I asked it point blank why the different treatment between hebrews and non-hebrews.  No answer at all.  That damned christianity for me.

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Logic and evidence and facts, that's where truth lives. Emotions can't be relied upon to make reasonable or appropriate decisions. You must address the damage indoctrination has caused you. Emotional comfort can be found in many terrible things, that's why we must reason.

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Damn mods, can't upvote their shit...

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i can't florduh...dude i wish i could. i know i am going back and forth on this forum. you guys must be tired of me by now....

 

 

Actually it's normal.  Perhaps you are doing it more than average but it's nothing to be ashamed of.  We have all felt that in between place.  I didn't enjoy it but I don't think we have direct control over it.

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I'm with florduh on this.  If christianity makes sense to you, then be a christian (like MyMistake describes).  However, I'm inclined to think that your constant vacillation is suggestive of christianity not making any sense to you; and, as did florduh, I'd point you in the direction of your indoctrination as the culprit.

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Ranger, would you serve a god who inflicts this sort of metaphysical hide-and-seek?  Virtually all ex-c's, ex-muslims, ex-jews have gone through this process, and it's painful yeah.  

 

When you want a straight answer from someone, you expect them to give it to you and you feel angry when they don't.  It's natural.  You placed trust in that person to play straight with you.

 

Why expect anything less from a god, if there is any?  

 

My question with slavery was that question for me, it might be a different question for you, but you still expect an answer, not peek-a-boo.

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Ranger, If there was absolutely no mention of hell in the bible, would you still be a christian? Is this about the fear of hell as it is for a lot of us? What makes you feel 'good' about being a christian?

 

*hug* 

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Your argument is false,  What is right about Christianity – You must understand that even if Christianity was true you need still need to explain why Jews who have more experience of God than any other sector do not believe in the Messiah.

 

Your gamble is God or Hell and at times it is as black and white as that.  Ultimately we cannot prove or disprove either however I believe that you should search for evidence.  Do not just accept what anyone says – Read the Greek / Read the Hebrew.

 

Christianity may look all Innocent but for the last 1800 years it has been anything but – But just because over the last 100 years it looks all lovely – They were always evil.

 

If people in the Vatican believed that God was real do you really think they would do what they are doing – Do you think that having sex with young boys knowing that their creator will punish them would cause them to stop?

 

I would just do what feels right by yourself – But do not profess your belief to others.

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i wish i could be where i was 2.5 years ago and not be a christian, but i feel like i had some experiences that i can't explain away. however, i just can't accept the bible and was it being preached. i don't know what it makes me. i guess i am in betweeen....i hate this guys.

 

I find Agnosticism is a nice middle bar - Enough to believe that there might be a God but enough to completely go against the Christian interpretation of a Localised (Human God).

 

Judaism for example their God although probably also false - Its more mythical and more like the god I would expect to exist if any.  Where as the Christian one of Jesus being God himsef - That arguement falls apart.

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Don't beat yourself up about what you believe or what you may believe. You now know the kind of thinking

and behavior that some Xtians engage in that are repulsive. Just avoid that stuff and be yourself. There are plenty of sensible Xtians who know not to carry their faith to the extreme where it hurts people,

including themselves. Good luck and welcome back anytime. bill

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Maybe remember why you left. Are those reasons still valid?

 

After a lifetime of conditioning, "God" is indeed in your brain, but as a result of your efforts, not God's. I have similar issues. God is a mental construct in my brain that provides peace. But I know now that this is not a relationship with God, it is a years-long relationship with myself, with my own perceptions, with my own brain chemistry. It feels real because I myself have etched those neural pathways, because I know how to trigger the endorphins. There is no external God involved. Reading about brain science might help.

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Hi there, 

 

I´m sorry what you are going through :( Because, feelings, emotions are things that you really experience, it is hard for another person 

to say something about it. 

 

I wish for you that I could say ´I can relate´, because than I could maybe help you. This fact that I (and other people) don´t have the same feeling of presence of God, is  

for me a clear sign that everybody has a different journey in their Christianity. I see this as a weakness for the credibility of a existence of (a christian) God.  

 

Let me try to explain. How can it be (from a view that God is real, and Christianity is true) that there are people who don´t feel God´s presence - while they really believe(d)?

And other people who sometimes feel the presence of God? And other people feel an overwhelming feeling of God existing?

 

If you regard this feeling, as a sign of God - then I find it weird that not everybody who believes experiences God in the same way. 

 

When you explain it through science, what I can say is:

- There is a drug called DMT, when you take it - you get a religious experience 

- Because of genetics, different environment, people are all different, and experience things in different way´s 

- Near death experience: there are experiences with characteristics of ALL religions  

 

I hope this helps. You can´t debate about the fact that your experience is real, but you can notice that if a experience is real, that doesn´t mean it is true. (I understand that this doens´t make it less hard to question it :(

 

Have you seen the video experience of purple fox? His deep, intense experience of his christian live. astonished me. Maybe you could send him a message, what helped him 

to deal with the emotions, the feeling of the present of God. 

 

https://www.youtube.com/user/Prplfox/videos

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Hi there, 

 

I´m sorry what you are going through sad.png Because, feelings, emotions are things that you really experience, it is hard for another person 

to say something about it. 

 

I wish for you that I could say ´I can relate´, because than I could maybe help you. This fact that I (and other people) don´t have the same feeling of presence of God, is  

for me a clear sign that everybody has a different journey in their Christianity. I see this as a weakness for the credibility of a existence of (a christian) God.  

 

Let me try to explain. How can it be (from a view that God is real, and Christianity is true) that there are people who don´t feel God´s presence - while they really believe(d)?

And other people who sometimes feel the presence of God? And other people feel an overwhelming feeling of God existing?

 

If you regard this feeling, as a sign of God - then I find it weird that not everybody who believes experiences God in the same way. 

 

When you explain it through science, what I can say is:

- There is a drug called DMT, when you take it - you get a religious experience 

- Because of genetics, different environment, people are all different, and experience things in different way´s 

- Near death experience: there are experiences with characteristics of ALL religions  

 

I hope this helps. You can´t debate about the fact that your experience is real, but you can notice that if a experience is real, that doesn´t mean it is true. (I understand that this doens´t make it less hard to question it sad.png

 

Have you seen the video experience of purple fox? His deep, intense experience of his christian live. astonished me. Maybe you could send him a message, what helped him 

to deal with the emotions, the feeling of the present of God. 

 

https://www.youtube.com/user/Prplfox/videos

you do bring out a good point. since my childhood i was sort of "religious" despite not going to church or coming from a Christian family. I think it was hard wired into me. Even when I left the church for the first time, i gravitated towards new age/eastern philosophies as I still wanted God's presence in my life, without all the hell and damnation surrounding it.

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Maybe remember why you left. Are those reasons still valid?

 

After a lifetime of conditioning, "God" is indeed in your brain, but as a result of your efforts, not God's. I have similar issues. God is a mental construct in my brain that provides peace. But I know now that this is not a relationship with God, it is a years-long relationship with myself, with my own perceptions, with my own brain chemistry. It feels real because I myself have etched those neural pathways, because I know how to trigger the endorphins. There is no external God involved. Reading about brain science might help.

Actually the truth is that I know how to trigger those endorphins, but the reality of the Christian doctrine sets in and I can't stand thinking about, and so I go back to "unbelief" or to this web-site. It feels great, comfortable, euphoric thinking that you are in a presence of God, that you are on a certain path of truth, and so my mind just dismisses all the logic, because like most things in life we can prove or disprove anything, depending on what side we want to choose. So i start thinking that maybe i am just being rebelious.

 

So its back and forth, back and forth.

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i wish i could be where i was 2.5 years ago and not be a christian, but i feel like i had some experiences that i can't explain away. however, i just can't accept the bible and was it being preached. i don't know what it makes me. i guess i am in betweeen....i hate this guys.

 

I find Agnosticism is a nice middle bar - Enough to believe that there might be a God but enough to completely go against the Christian interpretation of a Localised (Human God).

 

Judaism for example their God although probably also false - Its more mythical and more like the god I would expect to exist if any.  Where as the Christian one of Jesus being God himsef - That arguement falls apart.

 

See, that's where I was and it felt good. I wish I could be there again. It was comfortable enough to know God is there, but he wasn't very overbearing in my day-to-day life, and none of my family or friends were going to hell. I liked that...

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