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Scary Moments During Church Service


pratt
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I hope this would be interesting to think about scary moments some of us have faced in our past "fucked up" christian lives,,,,

 

it was a healing session with guest pastor specialised in healing from USA, which i accompanied my friend whose wife had cancer. After the standard preaching, singing, blabbering in tongues, and some interpretations, the pastor started to eyeballed everybody,,,,,, his eyes seemed piercing as he looked into everybody's face and eyes,,,,,,

 

he closed his eyes, he pointed at my direction, and shouted "confessed your sins, you have hidden sexual sins that you have hidden from people but not from the lord" or something to that effect,,,,,

 

i was really scared and was thinking "oh shit, what does that guy know",,,,,

 

then he pointed at the girl behind me, and i was like "whew, that was a close shave,,,,,,"

 

the girl denied the whole sexual thing, and the group started speaking in tongues again with hands raised to that girl direction,,,,,

 

dodged a sexual prophesy bullet that day,,,,,

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Right after I left Christianity (but before I told anybody) I was attending church (as I still did back then) when the youth pastor came up to tell a story.  She gave a report on a recent field trip.  And quite unexpectedly it went Twilight Zone.  She took a bunch of kids to the park and wasn't paying attention to the environment.  Next thing she knows her group is around too many criminals and unsavory people.  So she tells us about how she prayed really hard and it all worked out.

 

I'm sitting in my chair thinking this idiot can't tell how badly she just failed.  She is so fraking lost that she is proud of her failure.  She wanted to tell us all about her fail as if it was wonderful news.  Her judgement is so fraked up that she is going to do catastrophic stupidity "because Jesus is watching over me".   And she is going to put my children's lives at risk.  It was surreal.

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Pratt, that guest pastor just basically accused someone of 'sexual immorality' in front of everyone and felt totally OK and justified in doing so because... god told him so?

 

I guess it's no better than End3's babbling defense of killing children, or IH's sunday dispatch thread, but man that story just makes me mad.  Just basically ruin this girl's social life within the church because 'god told him that he had sexual sins?' 

 

I'm betting a full year's salary that pastor's gay.

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a bunch of people, especially young ones "sexually sin" all of the time.

 

i could go to almost any christian and say "i have felt moved by god to tell you that even though you're struggling, he's got your back" and chances are... they'll find some meaning in it.

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Yeah, remembering one service where God revealed to the guy preaching that there was someone present, who if they went out the door of the church without getting saved, that God was giving up and they were eternally damned. And he was talking to me. After awhile, I did go to the altar. Actually, similar events happened several times - my teen years weren't very enjoyable. Will just leave it at that. 

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Firstly, I am incensed that the preacher would have the audacity to call a girl out and basically accuse her of being a slut in front of the congregation and her friends.  People think that just because the voices inside their heads tell them something they have the license to go and fuck with other peoples lives.  That kind of license is one of the most destructive things about the church.  It was that kind of "prophesying" that led me to some of the worst decisions and mistakes I ever made.  False prophets should be stoned to death.

 

Secondly, as LukeExChristian pointed out, if you make a "prophecy" vague enough, there will always be somebody who will take the bait.  Ever notice how it's always, "Somebody here has lower back pain" or "There's somebody here who has unconfessed sin in your life"? 

 

If an omniscient god really is speaking through a preacher/healer/prophet, why can't they ever say, "There is somebody here who has had trouble swallowing, facial swelling, loss of appetite and general weakness and you think it is simply because you are getting older, but the lord is telling me that you have Combined Small Cell Carcinoma, also known as Oat Cell Cancer"?  Why?

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a bunch of people, especially young ones "sexually sin" all of the time.

 

i could go to almost any christian and say "i have felt moved by god to tell you that even though you're struggling, he's got your back" and chances are... they'll find some meaning in it.

 

 

One of the gospels makes it a sin to feel anger or sexual desire.  And Paul makes is a sin to feel sexual desire.  So that makes every Christian screwed regarding thought crimes.

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Secondly, as LukeExChristian pointed out, if you make a "prophecy" vague enough, there will always be somebody who will take the bait.  Ever notice how it's always, "Somebody here has lower back pain" or "There's somebody here who has unconfessed sin in your life"? 

 

Reminds me of a funny story that my boss told us a couple of weeks ago at work. His wife has been pestering him that she'd like to start attending church somewhere (he has no interest whatsoever). His wife is deaf, but can read lips very well. About two weekends ago, they are in church and this lady on the platform starts talking about how someone there in the service that day has hearing problems. While my boss didn't say it out loud, he thought, "No, she doesn't have hearing problems; she's f---ing DEAF!"

 

Edit: Whoa! Post 1000!

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I was in a service where the lady preacher did the same thing without pointing. I was visiting there with two hot lady friends, so I assumed that she meant me, but I didn't so much as blink though she kept looking at me. Eventually a guy in the back confessed, and she said "I knew it was you, but wanted to give you the opportunity to come out". Lying sack of shit. Every guy in every congregation is wanking, and most of the women. They beat themselves up over it, but they all feel guilt, so this is an easy target for preachers (who are themselves wanking, or doing the babysitter).

 

Another pastor would accuse women of having gay sex, when they came to him for help with spiritual issues. Devastating to already upset women, but these jerks imagine that any thought that comes into their minds is from god, and that they have the gift of prophecy. Self-important turds.

 

Why would a god care if you wank, or have sex? Why would a god want payment for ANYTHING we do or think? What kind of god wants blood? Effing myth controlling the lives of millions of people, shaping our laws, and wrecking lives for thousands of years.

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"he pointed at my direction, and shouted "confessed your sins, you have hidden sexual sins that you have hidden from people but not from the lord" pratt

 

 

 

It's too bad the girl's father wasn't there. If he was half a man, that pastor would never even think

on doing such a think again..ever. bill

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Pratt, that guest pastor just basically accused someone of 'sexual immorality' in front of everyone and felt totally OK and justified in doing so because... god told him so?

 

I'm betting a full year's salary that pastor's gay.

That was my first thought too! Gay, or "sinning sexually".

 

My thinks he doth protest too much.

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Let's see

 

* I was 8 and in a foster home belonging to a pentecostal family (keep in mind I was an atheist growing up). They took me to a church service where some dude was slaying people in the spirit by touching their foreheads. Anyways I didn't really move when he touched me until somebody said "you're meant to fall down" so I did. I was freaked out the entire time wandering WTF they were doing and why.

 

* I was at an evening service while a Christian when a lady behind me just collapsed. Not a single person went to investigate (other than the lady next to her), it was surreal. When I got near her she somewhat revived. Don't remember what the issue turned out to be.

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The minister would get very somber and frightful just before the eucharist (when you'd get the bread and wine).  If you had any unconfessed sins and took the eucharist God might strike you dead right then or he might wait and afflict you with horrible diseases, or he might just give up on you and send you to hell.  You might be "crucifying Jesus anew" which is the unforgivable sin, if you took part in eucharist but weren't really really really saved.  I was very fearful this one time because, this was before I had converted, but my a-parents would be furious if I did not eat the "body of Christ."  I just sat there panicking "what do I do?  what do I do?".  I was a young teenager at this time.  I was so worked up with fear that my mind started to think all kinds of very "bad thoughts" because I was trying so hard not to think bad thoughts.  What I did was make a lot of very urgent silent prayers for God's forgiveness and then ate the bread and wine, because my a-parents were watching me carefully and I will suffer if I make them look ungodly in any way.  Nothing happened but for quite awhile I was expecting some kind of fatal or devastating consequences.   

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He singled her out? What a jerk.

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Another pastor would accuse women of having gay sex, when they came to him for help with spiritual issues. Devastating to already upset women, but these jerks imagine that any thought that comes into their minds is from god, and that they have the gift of prophecy. Self-important turds.

This one purges the guilt of his fantasies by accusing other people... Ish.

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I don't think I've seen anyone pointed a finger at and accused of anything in a public service like in the OP's story, but I've seen a lot of the general hysteria that happens in charismatic prayer groups.  Even though everyone there with claim that the "spirit is moving" them, it's really just groups of people allowing each other to freak out a little and let their emotions out...and Lord knows, being Christian sure gets things pent up inside!

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I hope this would be interesting to think about scary moments some of us have faced in our past "fucked up" christian lives,,,,

 

it was a healing session with guest pastor specialised in healing from USA, which i accompanied my friend whose wife had cancer. After the standard preaching, singing, blabbering in tongues, and some interpretations, the pastor started to eyeballed everybody,,,,,, his eyes seemed piercing as he looked into everybody's face and eyes,,,,,,

 

he closed his eyes, he pointed at my direction, and shouted "confessed your sins, you have hidden sexual sins that you have hidden from people but not from the lord" or something to that effect,,,,,

 

i was really scared and was thinking "oh shit, what does that guy know",,,,,

 

then he pointed at the girl behind me, and i was like "whew, that was a close shave,,,,,,"

 

the girl denied the whole sexual thing, and the group started speaking in tongues again with hands raised to that girl direction,,,,,

 

dodged a sexual prophesy bullet that day,,,,,

 

it is like a cold reading except more sad if that is possible.

 

Anyone can be taught to do this. It is a trick just like illusionists do.

 

Who the fuck is that asshole to call her or attempt to call her out about her private sexual life in front of a room? If that had been work, a street corne... my guess is he would be talking to cops about it and not getting away with sexually harrassing a young woman in front of apparently a bunch of people who enable him to do it.

 

Joke preacher is a joke.

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it was in the late 80s whereby the spirit of that fucking lord was moving through the charismatic movement in singapore,,,,,,

 

we have all kinds of basically many american visiting preachers, healers and such coming over to bless this little sunny island,,,,,

 

behind closed doors session, small size gathering of 30-50 people, healing sessions, getting rid of unclean spirits and sexual sins were the talk of the town,,,,

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One time, I had someone trying to make the devil come out of me and he screamed in my ear so loud, 'Come out of her Satan,' that it scared the shit out of me plus I almost lost my hearing that day.

 

The devil never did come out of me.....another failed attempt.... Boa-hahahahah firedevil.gif

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Oy!  Brings back memories of the spiritual renewal where some on-fire teens tried to pray away the deformity from a deformed woman.  They were so confident and intense.  And they just kept praying harder and louder.  And it never worked.  So embarrassing.  So awkward.  So traumatizing for the poor gal.

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it is like a cold reading except more sad if that is possible.

 

Anyone can be taught to do this. It is a trick just like illusionists do.

 

At the church I was going to at the time I met my wife, there was a guest worship leader and his ministry team who ran the Friday night "renewal" service many weeks. He developed something of a cult following, as there were a lot of people that would only go to the Friday night service if this guy was going to be there. (Way to be dedicated to the Lord and not worship an idol, dumbasses.)

 

He would do the "Christian cold reading" thing, where he would just say general things like "I sense someone here is suffering from some sort of heart ailment," or of course the even more vague "back pain," and speak to the people that responded to his prompt.

 

I wish I had realized just how lame that was at the time. I wish I knew then about cold reading, and how, as gall pointed out, this was even more sad than the techniques that more advanced cold readers used. This was like cold reading for dummies, and yet I fell for it.

 

Oh, and looking back, I'm 90% certain that the guy from the ministry team (Eagles' Wings) was as gay as the day is long.

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When I was a teenager I went to a Youth for Christ summer camp. They were determined to get everybody saved. As an Episcopalian I was baptized as an infant, so that wasn't good enough for them. It wasn't much fun to be trapped at this camp while everybody was trying to convince me that I had to pray the sinner's prayer and feel some magic something otherwise I would go to hell.

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Every service when there would be an announcement to "hug your neighbor" and people would want to get all up in my space. That was terrifying to me.

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I went to my crazy evangelical friend's church in 7th grade one Sunday night. A woman was praying and asked if anyone was wearing a charm bracelet because she felt like people wearing charm bracelets needed to blessed that night. I was thanking my lucky stars I had not worn mine.

 

Then they took communion and the minister bragged about how they all drank from the same goblet of wine but that no one had gotten sick yet because they had asked God to bless it. He also told an anecdote about how they dumped the leftover wine into the large fern by the window and that the fern was bigger and stronger since they had started doing that. The power of the wine!

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