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Agree To Disagree


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So I was raised a Lutheran (Missouri Synod) by my father who is super hardcore Christian and my mother who originally was catholic and is much more passive than my father. From my parents control, I very seldomly missed a church service on Sundays before I moved away for college.

My timeline begins with my frustration I had with the church when I was forced to sing during Sunday school. I never liked singing church songs.. In fact i never enjoyed singing in general back then. During some church services when I was about 6-8 years old I was actually taken outside the church by my father and beaten for 'misbehaving.' I call it acting like a kid. It's not unusual for a child to not be able to sit down quietly and still for over an hour. Nonetheless my actions were considered punishable. How do you expect a kid to grow up wanting to go to church every Sunday when all that happened there was pain and embarrassment?!

As I grew older, I became quickly bored of the repetitive, never changing service routine. With a large majority of the congregation being stout old Germans, this is to be expected. Seriously though, the only things that were dynamic were the hymn numbers and the sermon. Imagine going to church almost every single Sunday every year all the way up until I turned 18. Fuck. Just thinking of all of the great NFL games I missed during that time makes me sick! Short story short, I never had a reason to enjoy going to church.

I had accepted nearly all I had been taught in Sunday school and so on until my senior year of high school. From then began the deterioration of my Christian beliefs. I am currently attending to college majoring in anthropology. It was my intention of having a head start by reading up on various topics relating to the my newly decided major. I read about the origins of culture, language, humans etc. The first thing that really struck me was the big 'E' word, evolution. Prior to my research, I was partially convinced that Darwin was evil and that everything he did was not even to be considered. In all actuality though I never even learned about or even heard his side of the issue. Here is where I started to see the ignorance in religious beliefs. I won't go through the many questions raised by my new understanding of natural selection and the history of humankind, but it pushed me to look a little deeper to seek out some answers.

 

Chapter ll: College

 

My first semester of taking anthropology classes was a memorable one. Even the intro classes were filled with a plethora of real world problems associated with various religions. Cultural anthropology taught me to respect and accept other people's cultural practices. The way i see it now is that by learning about different cultures we can learn to accept them and through acceptance comes a peaceful world. But that is a little beside the point. The point is that most of my family taught me to despise homosexuals, 'false religions', and there was a bit of inequality between the sexes thrown at me through their Christian beliefs. They were telling me to be intolerant to all people in this world who do not share the same belief system. I readily showed opposition to this, but in an inconspicuous manner being careful not to let my parents (especially my father) figure out that I had practically dropped status as a Christian. So one day my father was on a rant about how all false religions should be converted to Christianity. I said something along the lines of "there are many lifestyles in the world and none of them are right and none of them are wrong." My fathers reaction was exactly as follows: "Then you are no longer my son.. You've fallen away." I then quickly made up some bs remark about how he took what I said the wrong way. My mom was in the same room at the moment but showed support for me and opposed my fathers disowning me before I made the bs explanation. That short encounter made me realize just how trapped I am. I am now afraid of what would happen if my parents found out that I had in fact 'fallen away' from Christianity.

Since then I have only showed reluctance to participate in the worship service, mumbling words at best. Not to mention my family never misses out on the common table prayer, given my father is present. I live 300 miles away from home now but it's all the same bs when I visit my parents every now and then. After my 2nd year of college I now think Christianity or maybe religion in General is the biggest scam on the planet.

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Ughhh.. I accidentally posted before I was finished and can't seem to find a way to edit. Anyway I apologize for the somewhat scattered story as I was just writing down whatever came to mind.

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Ughhh.. I accidentally posted before I was finished and can't seem to find a way to edit. Anyway I apologize for the somewhat scattered story as I was just writing down whatever came to mind.

you need a number of posts before you can edit,

but welcome, and good story,

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  • Moderator

You're doing great, Yoyee.  Regarding edits, we've all been there.  You need to make twenty or so posts before you can edit.

I'm sorry to hear that your father feels so strongly about controlling his family under the umbrella of his religion.  I hope that you can work things out with him eventually.

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You're right, religion is the biggest scam in the history of mankind. It sucks to be in the situation you're in with your father but at least you're 300 miles away and can live your own life.

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  • Super Moderator

You certainly seem to be in a tough situation, but it sounds like you've got the strength, fortitude, and wherewithal to handle it.  Welcome.

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I think your father's reaction is simply blackmail.

 

I won't say "moral blackmail" as that dignifies it with a word it doesn't deserve.

 

There's ultimately no way through this unless he changes his tune, I'm afraid.  You can't make him accept you.  I'm very sorry for your situation.  Just be honest with your views and refuse to be pressurized.  It's your life.

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Welcome, and I agree too that religion is a huge scam.

 

Good luck with your family.  Hang in there!  

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